The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: FlippyDoo on July 25, 2012, 07:46:42 PM
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I was thinking recently that it would be great if someone were to come out with a movie about DU. Then I wondered what the trailer would be like. It figured it may be something like this.
Picture a completely black screen. Music starts to softly play. Maybe "Adagio for Strings" from Platoon.
Then an unseen narrator with a deep voice begins speaking...
They said that you couldn't combine stupid, hatred, and hypocrisy to successfully create laughs. They were wrong.
On January 20, 2001…stupid got a new name, hated soared to new levels, and hypocrisy was taken to the extreme.
On that day…democrat underground was born and the sane world hasn't stopped laughing since.
Over ten years in the making…
Starring a cast of thousands….
Coming this November to a theater near you.
It is….
DU: the movie. As the narrator says these words the blank, black screen is filled with a large "DU: the movie" in democrat blue. As the title fades to black the narrator begins speaking again.
See the woman who claims to have done everything…except be modest.
See the man who pretends to be a Green Beret Force Recon SEAL songwriter.
See the woman who created the modern age fairy tale.
Learn how to perform detailed scientific experiments with precision equipment such as concrete blocks and wire.
Learn how to hate and denigrate America while reaping her benefits.
Learn how stupid rethuglicans constantly foil the smartest people on the innerwebz.
Watch the blink, blink, blink, blink.
And much, much more.
It's political spin, in-depth racism, and rampant insanity like you've never seen it before.
Starring:
nadin "intrepid reporter"
Stinky the "laughing stock" Clown
Tomin "way too deep" Tib
Spooked "no, really, he's spooked" 911
and many, many more
At this point the screen is still very dark, but by the contrast you can see that there is something there. You can also tell that the camera is ever so slowly pulling back. The narrator continues.
With special guest appearance by franksolich as…the genius mastermind.
And featuring Karl Rove as...the ruler of the world.
The screen is more of a dark brown now. The camera is still pulling back. The narrator continues.
This November the new catch phrase will be: Do you DU?
Don't be left out. Be sure to see…DU: the movie.
When this is spoken the camera pulls back quickly and just enough to see that it had been closely focused on the back of a cockroach. The roach now fills the screen with the words "DU: the movie" superimposed on the cockroach.
The narrator is silence as a light shines on the cockroach and beneath the words "DU: the movie" appears the words "shine the light on the cockroaches".
As the roach scurries from the light the narrator speaks once more:
This film has not yet been rated.
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This film has been rated M for Moonbat. :-)
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A mixture of Cheech and Chong and Dumb and Dumber.
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I was thinking recently that it would be great if someone were to come out with a movie about DU. Then I wondered what the trailer would be like. It figured it may be something like this.
Picture a completely black screen. Music starts to softly play. Maybe "Adagio for Strings" from Platoon.
Then an unseen narrator with a deep voice begins speaking...
They said that you couldn't combine stupid, hatred, and hypocrisy to successfully create laughs. They were wrong.
On January 20, 2001…stupid got a new name, hated soared to new levels, and hypocrisy was taken to the extreme.
On that day…democrat underground was born and the sane world hasn't stopped laughing since.
Over ten years in the making…
Starring a cast of thousands….
Coming this November to a theater near you.
It is….
DU: the movie. As the narrator says these words the blank, black screen is filled with a large "DU: the movie" in democrat blue. As the title fades to black the narrator begins speaking again.
See the woman who claims to have done everything…except be modest.
See the man who pretends to be a Green Beret Force Recon SEAL songwriter.
See the woman who created the modern age fairy tale.
Learn how to perform detailed scientific experiments with precision equipment such as concrete blocks and wire.
Learn how to hate and denigrate America while reaping her benefits.
Learn how stupid rethuglicans constantly foil the smartest people on the innerwebz.
Watch the blink, blink, blink, blink.
And much, much more.
It's political spin, in-depth racism, and rampant insanity like you've never seen it before.
Starring:
nadin "intrepid reporter"
Stinky the "laughing stock" Clown
Tomin "way too deep" Tib
Spooked "no, really, he's spooked" 911
and many, many more
At this point the screen is still very dark, but by the contrast you can see that there is something there. You can also tell that the camera is ever so slowly pulling back. The narrator continues.
With special guest appearance by franksolich as…the genius mastermind.
And featuring Karl Rove as...the ruler of the world.
The screen is more of a dark brown now. The camera is still pulling back. The narrator continues.
This November the new catch phrase will be: Do you DU?
Don't be left out. Be sure to see…DU: the movie.
When this is spoken the camera pulls back quickly and just enough to see that it had been closely focused on the back of a cockroach. The roach now fills the screen with the words "DU: the movie" superimposed on the cockroach.
The narrator is silence as a light shines on the cockroach and beneath the words "DU: the movie" appears the words "shine the light on the cockroaches".
As the roach scurries from the light the narrator speaks once more:
This film has not yet been rated.
That is good.
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...Then there is the exhibitionistic crone who writes poetry only a Vogon could love...
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Let's do lunch.
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Let's do lunch.
For the longest time, years now, I've always promised that when I get around to winning the Powerball lottery, since I don't have a whole lot of "needs" and "wants" on which to spend the bucks, I'd invest it in a musical comedy about the primitives--imagine for example, poor stupid Beth (or Pedro Picasso) singing "If I only had a brain," or Ms Ed the unappellated eohippus, with a retinue of rabidly feminist primitives, doing an elaborate dance of "Kill them babies, kill them babies, kill them babies dead."
And also including the domestic lives of Mrs. Alfred Packer and the sparkling old dude.
And the addled antics of the addled pie-and-jam grasswire primitive.
That sort of thing, but I'd been thinking more of Broadway, than Hollywood.
Now, I guess a movie would reap even more dividends.
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Michael Moore as Omaha Steve.
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Michael Moore as Omaha Steve.
You got the size right, but the demeanor's all wrong.
My choice would be Buddy Hackett--if he's still alive, and really I don't know--but only after Buddy was first sent to a fat farm to indulge in a month of 12,000-calorie-a-day diets. Then he'd be fit for the role.
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Oops, it appears Buddy died in 2003, a few years ago.
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Nadin will be played by Danny Devito in his Penguin makeup.
"Waaack Wack Wack! I'm a reporter. Respect the Press or face my iggy list! Waaaack!"
(http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/7493/penguinpg.jpg)
"Zappaman!"
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Mr. Mannn, perfect. :rofl:
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I was thinking Roseanne for the Nadster. Fat and troll-like. But Devito sould work.
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I was thinking Roseanne for the Nadster. Fat and troll-like. But Devito sould work.
Danny DeVito would be great as nadin.
But the movie could still use Roseanne.
Put a blonde wig on Roseanne, and voila! one has the LynneSyn primitive.
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Margaret Cho can play Lioness Pryanka or whatever her name is.
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you have to fit batshit crazy Gary Busey in there somewhere.
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you have to fit batshit crazy Gary Busey in there somewhere.
He can play TomInTib :rotf:
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I always thought Philip Seymour Hoffman would be the one to play Nads in any movie made about DU.
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Perfect casting, Chris.
Someone help me out here. Who was the shrew who mis-used the word "apologist?" Her handle was her full name. Anjelica Houston should play her.
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Good casting ideas everyone.
I believe such a movie would be box office gold. Plus, in the media blitz leading up to the movie you could have tv specials that would bring in money. One could be called "DU: Why so Crazy?" in which mental health care professionals give their opinions of the different types of insanity displayed on DU. One could be called "DU: A View from Inside the Nut House" in which moles, with their identity disguised, are interviewed. Another could be called "DU: A View from Outside the Nut House" in which normal people on the street give their opinions on why DU is so entertaining.
An interview for the above would go like so...
HOST: Which site do you prefer for your online humor? Is it The Onion or is it Democrat Underground?
NORMAL PERSON ON THE STREET: It would definitely be Democrat Underground.
HOST: And why do you prefer Democrat Underground over The Onion for your humor?
NORMAL PERSON ON THE STREET: It's simple. The people at The Onion know that they are just making up craziness for shits and giggles. The people at Democrat Underground actually believe the craziness that they make up. That belief just adds the WOW factor.
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Perfect casting, Chris.
Someone help me out here. Who was the shrew who mis-used the word "apologist?" Her handle was her full name. Anjelica Houston should play her.
That was NanceGreggs I think, she was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. She could be played by a drug addled Liza Minnelli
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That's right! Thanks. Someone here has an extremely funny photoshop job of her. Who is it? Stand up! I laughed so hard.
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Johnny Depp could play Taverner, but only after Johnny's been on a two-week meth bender.
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I nominate Roseanne Barr to play DUmmy greenbriar.
It's the first paying job she'll have had in years.
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That was NanceGreggs I think, she was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. She could be played by a drug addled Liza Minnelli
I always thought NanceGreggs was a gay man. I'll admit that at first I thought it was a woman because of the name and the Molly Ivins avatar. But somewhere along the line I got it in my head that it was a gay man. Maybe it was an admission. Maybe because the Nance part of the name reminded me of Nancy-boy or Nance for short--slang terms for a gay man. Like NanceGreggs was using the name in the fun Will & Grace style self mocking way that is acceptable for gays to identify themselves or other gays, but offensive if used by straight men. Maybe it was because of the catty, sassy gay posting style. Does anybody know for sure, one way or another the gender of NanceGreggs?
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I'm hitting a roadblock here. We need to find two batshit crazy actresses to play Pam and Bobolink. But who? Wynona Ryder as Bobo the Hobo might work if she was 30 years older. But Pam? That's a real head-scratcher.
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Janeanne Garafolo. There's got to be a role for her.
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Janeanne Garafolo. There's got to be a role for her.
iverglas
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I'm hitting a roadblock here. We need to find two batshit crazy actresses to play Pam and Bobolink. But who? Wynona Ryder as Bobo the Hobo might work if she was 30 years older. But Pam? That's a real head-scratcher.
Margot Kidder?
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I'm hitting a roadblock here. We need to find two batshit crazy actresses to play Pam and Bobolink. But who? Wynona Ryder as Bobo the Hobo might work if she was 30 years older. But Pam? That's a real head-scratcher.
Judy.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W5XXnEXuWM&feature=fvwrel[/youtube]
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Sean Penn has to be in there, maybe a Sandusky role ? Too soon ?
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Penn could play Stinky.
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I've been thinking that maybe Dave off of Storage Wars could be convinced to play nads if the price was right.
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I've been thinking that maybe Dave off of Storage Wars could be convinced to play nads if the price was right.
Not crazy enough.
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Not crazy enough.
But he's got the look. Look at him with his glasses on and imagine him wearing a skin cap. A good acting coach can teach him to play crazy. Or the director can just dose him up with some mind-altering drugs.
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Kathy Bates as Nads. She just has to replay Annie from " Misery".
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Kathy Bates as Nads. She just has to replay Annie from " Misery".
Danny Devito as nadin, he is almost a dead ringer for her as is.
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Danny Devito as nadin, he is almost a dead ringer for her as is.
My vote, too. The resemblance between the Penguin and nads is so great, I can practically smell the fish on her breath!
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Who would play Calipig???? we need all those earwigs!! warning!!!warning...earwig infestation on the set!!!! :rotf:
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I'm hitting a roadblock here. We need to find two batshit crazy actresses to play Pam and Bobolink. But who? Wynona Ryder as Bobo the Hobo might work if she was 30 years older. But Pam? That's a real head-scratcher.
'
Seen the once-delightful Kathleen Turner lately? She could easily do Bobo in her current condition.
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I need to see pics of these people. Are they posted in their own thread at the DUmp?
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I need to see pics of these people. Are they posted in their own thread at the DUmp?
The primitives, being narcissists, used to post lots and lots of photographs of themselves (or allegedly of themselves), some of which are classics.
But for some reason, the primitives don't do as much of that anymore.
I suspect it has something to do with their growing older, and their looks deteriorating, and they're too embarrassed to put them up any more.
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I've been thinking that maybe Dave off of Storage Wars could be convinced to play nads if the price was right.
I changed my mind and now want Chumlee from Pawn Stars to play Nads.
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I changed my mind and now want Chumlee from Pawn Stars to play Nads.
I thought Chumlee for Omaha Steve
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Who could Sean Penn play? There has to be a role for him! His acting range of stoners, gangsters and teh ghey would work for any number of the idiots over there.
(oops, this has already been mentioned -- sorry!)
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Who could Sean Penn play? There has to be a role for him! His acting range of stoners, gangsters and teh ghey would work for any number of the idiots over there.
(oops, this has already been mentioned -- sorry!)
Taverner
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Taverner
Nah, I'm still going with Johnny Depp as Taverner.
(http://viliflik.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/johnny.jpg)
Plus it takes away the Hunter S. Thompson character from Will Pittstain the Plagiarist. Now as for the Pitt, I'm thinking Chevy Chase. Not the funny Chevy Chase, but the drugged out raving one. Or how about Ed Norton, or Patton Oswalt, perhaps?
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I still can't believe ya'll haven't brought up $kammer.
My humble proposal--Jack Nicholson. The hair-wigged-out, mentally unbalanced, "As Good As It Gets" Jack Nicholson.
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I thought Chumlee for Omaha Steve
I like the idea of Chumlee for OS. Or maybe even Jackie from Red State Update for OS.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScQWVubBlEg&feature=plcp[/youtube]
I figure when DU: the movie becomes a blockbuster there could be a spin-off featuring Omaha Steve. Maybe Big Dog could convert his story to a screenplay.
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I like the idea of Chumlee for OS. Or maybe even Jackie from Red State Update for OS.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScQWVubBlEg&feature=plcp[/youtube]
I figure when DU: the movie becomes a blockbuster there could be a spin-off featuring Omaha Steve. Maybe Big Dog could convert his story to a screenplay.
Or Hurley from "Lost"
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Johnny Depp could play Taverner, but only after Johnny's been on a two-week meth bender.
Why do you want him to cut back?
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Courtney Love as Nadin
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(http://celebritieswithoutmakeup.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/nicknoltewithoutmakeup.jpg)
Actually, I was thinking of Nick Nolte as Taverner.