The Conservative Cave
Current Events => General Discussion => Topic started by: Kyle Ricky on June 24, 2012, 04:50:49 PM
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So, I was at the convenience store filling up my Prius, and this huge Hummer pulls up covered with W'04 and NRA stickers. A blue-haired old lady steps out wearing cowboy boots and a Huckabee campaign button and immediately starts complaining about the price of gas. I can't contain my rage any longer and finally blurted out, "Did you know that monstrosity you're driving as a replacement for a penis kills 3,500 baby seals a year, and that Chimpy McCokespoon has personally executed over 1,300,000 innocent Iraqis?" Well she started blubbering something about "terra", and I strode over and kicked the Truck Balls off her trailer hitch, peeled her Columbine-inducing NRA stickers off and handed her a set of enlistment papers for the U.S. Marine Corps. She eventually started crying and confessed that she hated GWB but thought he was the only one who could save her from brown-skinned people. I proceeded to tell her about how the President ordered the attack on the WTC and how he breakfasts on Afghani babies and light sweet crude. Finally, she thanks me for opening her eyes and I give her a card for the local Democratic Party committee and Code Pink chapter. As she drove off, two homeless people hanging out by the ice cooler started applauding and thanked me for Speaking Truth To Power. The tide is turning, folks.
Yeah, mmmm, that will be great.
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So, I was at the convenience store filling up my Prius, and this huge Hummer pulls up covered with W'04 and NRA stickers. A blue-haired old lady steps out wearing cowboy boots and a Huckabee campaign button and immediately starts complaining about the price of gas. I can't contain my rage any longer and finally blurted out, "Did you know that monstrosity you're driving as a replacement for a penis kills 3,500 baby seals a year, and that Chimpy McCokespoon has personally executed over 1,300,000 innocent Iraqis?" Well she started blubbering something about "terra", and I strode over and kicked the Truck Balls off her trailer hitch, peeled her Columbine-inducing NRA stickers off and handed her a set of enlistment papers for the U.S. Marine Corps. She eventually started crying and confessed that she hated GWB but thought he was the only one who could save her from brown-skinned people. I proceeded to tell her about how the President ordered the attack on the WTC and how he breakfasts on Afghani babies and light sweet crude. Finally, she thanks me for opening her eyes and I give her a card for the local Democratic Party committee and Code Pink chapter. As she drove off, two homeless people hanging out by the ice cooler started applauding and thanked me for Speaking Truth To Power. The tide is turning, folks.
Yeah, mmmm, that will be great.
What, no cop jumping out of the bushes?
Withholding final rating...
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Damn, you own a Prius dude?
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Since you prefer a BS over a H-5 I gave you a BS. :cheersmate:
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:bouncy:
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Thanks for the bitchslap! :-) That was my first attempt at a bouncy. I can't take full credit for it though. I actually found it online and thought it was pretty funny. But, in any case, how is it?
Also, did you like my input of the Office Space line at the end? :-)
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I can't take full credit for it though. I actually found it online and thought it was pretty funny.
You know the guy that wrote that is a member here, don't you?
I can't even bitchslap you... I'm just going to take away some of your Hi5's.
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You know the guy that wrote that is a member here, don't you?
I can't even bitchslap you... I'm just going to take away some of your Hi5's.
He is? This is where I found it. And I wasn't given any Hi5's for it lol.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bouncy%20Ball%20tale&defid=2913829
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Check the user name.
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php?action=profile;u=157
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Check the user name.
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php?action=profile;u=157
You learn something new everyday. I didn't know that anyone could edit the urban dictionary page. I just did a search for bouncy tales and that is what came up. At least I didn't take full credit and claim it to be all mine. That would be rude on my part to do something like that :)
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Thanks for the bitchslap! :-) That was my first attempt at a bouncy. I can't take full credit for it though. I actually found it online and thought it was pretty funny. But, in any case, how is it?
Also, did you like my input of the Office Space line at the end? :-)
So you pulled a greenbriar and stole someone else's work?
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So you pulled a greenbriar and stole someone else's work?
No, not at all. I saw it and thought it was funny. So I thought I would post it. Knowing that it wasn't mine is the reason I said I couldn't take full credit for it. I was trying to give props to the author, who at the time; I had no idea who it was.
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OMG! does Dandi know he's at the Urban Dictionary?
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No, not at all. I saw it and thought it was funny. So I thought I would post it. Knowing that it wasn't mine is the reason I said I couldn't take full credit for it. I was trying to give props to the author, who at the time; I had no idea who it was.
Likely story and, don't you think this office space business is being overused? It might be hurting our credibility as a Reichwing forum.
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So wait a minute. Does this mean you don't own a Prius?
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Likely story and, don't you think this office space business is being overused? It might be hurting our credibility as a Reichwing forum.
:bawl: you can all bitchslap me at will. I deserve it :banghead:
So wait a minute. Does this mean you don't own a Prius?
I wouldn't be caught dead in one. :whistling:
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So, I was at the convenience store filling up my Prius, and this huge Hummer pulls up covered with W'04 and NRA stickers. A blue-haired old lady steps out wearing cowboy boots and a Huckabee campaign button and immediately starts complaining about the price of gas. I can't contain my rage any longer and finally blurted out, "Did you know that monstrosity you're driving as a replacement for a penis kills 3,500 baby seals a year, and that Chimpy McCokespoon has personally executed over 1,300,000 innocent Iraqis?" Well she started blubbering something about "terra", and I strode over and kicked the Truck Balls off her trailer hitch, peeled her Columbine-inducing NRA stickers off and handed her a set of enlistment papers for the U.S. Marine Corps. She eventually started crying and confessed that she hated GWB but thought he was the only one who could save her from brown-skinned people. I proceeded to tell her about how the President ordered the attack on the WTC and how he breakfasts on Afghani babies and light sweet crude. Finally, she thanks me for opening her eyes and I give her a card for the local Democratic Party committee and Code Pink chapter. As she drove off, two homeless people hanging out by the ice cooler started applauding and thanked me for Speaking Truth To Power. The tide is turning, folks.
Yeah, mmmm, that will be great.
Suckage.
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Dude, sometimes you try too hard.
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While reading that I was looking at the posted date over and over thinking I had seen it before. Glad I wasn't crazy.
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Wow, I am honest and get hammered, and lose more hi5's. I don't know, maybe I deserve it for trying to be morally correct. Would it have been better if I lied? I think most of you know by now that I can't do that.
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You own a Prius? GAH! I kinda liked you too. :bawl:
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You own a Prius? GAH! I kinda liked you too. :bawl:
No, I do not own a prius. :lmao:
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No, I do not own a prius. :lmao:
What do you own and I want a picture of it and you sent to my pm box within 5 minutes or you do OWN a pussified prius :rant:
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What do you own and I want a picture of it and you sent to my pm box within 5 minutes or you do OWN a pussified prius :rant:
:rotf: Actually, I own a 2005 grand am Se. I am going to be trading it in, hopefully, in January for a Ford F150 Crew Cab.
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Wow, I am honest and get hammered, and lose more hi5's. I don't know, maybe I deserve it for trying to be morally correct. Would it have been better if I lied? I think most of you know by now that I can't do that.
Hi5 from me Kyle. As per your questions, Yes it would be better if you lied. I find the most interesting/entertaining posts are bald faced lies. Almost every thing I post here is a total fabrication. You think you "can't do that" but, I'm here to tell you, you can. You just need to apply yourself like the rest of us.
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BTW: Since we're on the subject...how much does a gallon of electrons cost?
The cheapest grade and the greener, more environmentally safer higher grade?
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Hi5 from me Kyle. As per your questions, Yes it would be better if you lied. I find the most interesting/entertaining posts are bald faced lies. Almost every thing I post here is a total fabrication. You think you "can't do that" but, I'm here to tell you, you can. You just need to apply yourself like the rest of us.
I think a lot of it has to do with the way I was brought up: That was to respect people, be kind to people, and don't lie to people. I will try to apply myself, but I don't know how it will turn out. God, I sound so much like a goody two shoes, don't I? :banghead:
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BTW: Since we're on the subject...how much does a gallon of electrons cost?
The cheapest grade and the greener, more environmentally safer higher grade?
Here in Happy Valley, it is .20 a kilowatt hour. As for the rest, I am not sure.
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Here in Happy Valley, it is .20 a kilowatt hour. As for the rest, I am not sure.
What does a redneck like me know about kilowatt hours....we measure everything in 1/2 pint, pint, quarts, fifth's. 1/2 gallons and gallons....usually using MASON jars.
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:rotf: Actually, I own a 2005 grand am Se. I am going to be trading it in, hopefully, in January for a Ford F150 Crew Cab.
ew you are driving a chick car :panic:
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I think a lot of it has to do with the way I was brought up: That was to respect people, be kind to people, and don't lie to people. I will try to apply myself, but I don't know how it will turn out. God, I sound so much like a goody two shoes, don't I? :banghead:
Many of us have had to overcome childhood abuse. Stick with us & you'll be right as rain. I'm not going to lie (actually I am) this could take years & there will be setbacks. Hang in there Kyle were all pulling for you.
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What does a redneck like me know about kilowatt hours....we measure everything in 1/2 pint, pint, quarts, fifth's. 1/2 gallons and gallons....usually using MASON jars.
:rotf: :lmao: :rofl: Hi5.
ew you are driving a chick car :panic:
Which is why I want to trade it in for a truck. That is mans vehicle. Although I know quite a few women who own trucks.
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What does a redneck like me know about kilowatt hours....we measure everything in 1/2 pint, pint, quarts, fifth's. 1/2 gallons and gallons....usually using MASON jars.
White lightnin, who shot John, Mule killer, stump buster some of my favorite brands.
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Many of us have had to overcome childhood abuse. Stick with us & you'll be right as rain. I'm not going to lie (actually I am) this could take years & there will be setbacks. Hang in there Kyle were all pulling for you.
Thanks, I will try. I need to think of a big lie now so I can vindicate myself. Hmmmm ..
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White lightnin, who shot John, Mule killer, stump buster some of my favorite brands.
They do moon shining where my wife comes from. The population of her home town is around 1500 and they are all related.
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They do moon shining where my wife comes from. The population of her home town is around 1500 and they are all related.
Fair lie. Should have added related & retarded.
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Fair lie. Should have added related & retarded.
:lmao: Actually, that wasn't a lie. It is a small hick town in northern Pa. In fact, she is one of the few in the town who has all of her teeth. I'm not sure if it is the water or what, but most people there lost not all, but most of their teeth. The town is in the middle of nowhere. It has one main street with two stop lights, and on that main street it has two pizza parlors, a gas station/convenient store, three churches, and four bars. The town even has a radio station that plays the most god awful selection of music I have ever heard. It is also an hour north or south to get to anything worthy of going to. One way is the New York border and the other way is around I80. I used to call them all mountain people. And the funny thing is that our local PBS station did a show on here two weeks ago.
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:lmao: Actually, that wasn't a lie. It is a small hick town in northern Pa. In fact, she is one of the few in the town who has all of her teeth. I'm not sure if it is the water or what, but most people there lost not all, but most of their teeth. The town is in the middle of nowhere. It has one main street with two stop lights, and on that main street it has two pizza parlors, a gas station/convenient store, three churches, and four bars. The town even has a radio station that plays the most god awful selection of music I have ever heard. It is also an hour north or south to get to anything worthy of going to. One way is the New York border and the other way is around I80. I used to call them all mountain people. And the funny thing is that our local PBS station did a show on here two weeks ago.
I know.
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I know.
I have to seriously try harder :-)