The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 09:22:14 AM

Title: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 09:22:14 AM
Is that inviolate or, can I? Do I ask him or her first. I think she'd go out with me, but, I am reluctant to ask for a couple of reasons; Fear of rejection, duh, that's a given, her brother has kicked my ass before, and will again..., Oh, added complication, her brother is one of my karate instructors... I spend several hours with him twice a week, sometimes more. But, I REALLY find his sister VERY attractive physically and intellectually. (Hot for her bod AND her mind)I don't know how to broach the subject with either of them, but, especially with him.
So, tell me, do I just shut up and sigh quietly when I see her? Do I ask him if he'd mind? Do I just tell him, "I'm going to ask your sister out?" Do I ignore him and ask her out? Oh, added complication: she is also one of the Black Belt's but, she isn't in class that often (outside life and all that) so?
What do I do? How do I handle this attraction I feel for her.
I haven't dated, at all, in about 4 years. I despise dating and frankly refuse to date anyone I couldn't see myself having a serious relationship with, but, she is special...  :banghead:
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: dutch508 on May 18, 2008, 09:43:57 AM
Is that inviolate or, can I? Do I ask him or her first. I think she'd go out with me, but, I am reluctant to ask for a couple of reasons; Fear of rejection, duh, that's a given, her brother has kicked my ass before, and will again..., Oh, added complication, her brother is one of my karate instructors... I spend several hours with him twice a week, sometimes more. But, I REALLY find his sister VERY attractive physically and intellectually. (Hot for her bod AND her mind)I don't know how to broach the subject with either of them, but, especially with him.
So, tell me, do I just shut up and sigh quietly when I see her? Do I ask him if he'd mind? Do I just tell him, "I'm going to ask your sister out?" Do I ignore him and ask her out? Oh, added complication: she is also one of the Black Belt's but, she isn't in class that often (outside life and all that) so?
What do I do? How do I handle this attraction I feel for her.
I haven't dated, at all, in about 4 years. I despise dating and frankly refuse to date anyone I couldn't see myself having a serious relationship with, but, she is special...  :banghead:

dutch's opinion (which means squat...)

Ask her out for dinner and a movie. Don't treat it as a date but as just spending time with a friend. Treat it like a date and you'll get nervous. Go out. Have fun. Don't worry about the rest.

She'll have fun without the pressure of some sort of 'relationship building formated experience'.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Lacarnut on May 18, 2008, 09:47:23 AM
Ask her out and do it NOW. Everyone has been rejected. So that's a Duh, Duh. I would not worry about the guy kicking my ass. You never know, he might even like the idea that you are dating his sister. Don't ask him.

I regret not asking a girl out when I was a Junior in H.S. and she was a Freshman in college. We used to play golf together and back in those days you did not date someone that was to 2 or 3 years older than you. Additionally, she was one of the LSU beauties. 50 years later, I still remember her name. So don't be a fool.  

  
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 10:31:55 AM
You don't need her brothers permission.  Just ask her out.

Oh, and no sex.  Ever.  Even if you marry her.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on May 18, 2008, 11:57:21 AM
Yeah all that.  Treat her like an independent person, asking her brother introduces a completely needless complication that could bog the whole thing down in their family relationship issues.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: BEG on May 18, 2008, 03:57:49 PM
Ask her out and if you want extra points, ask her brother first if he would mind.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 04:08:44 PM
Asking brother sounds kind of risky, what if he says no? Then do you ask her out anyway? That would really piss him off I bet.

How do I say this.... are they Americans? I only ask because if you are talking about a different culture, then I have no clue what's appropriate.

As they always say.... it’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.  :uhsure:
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 04:11:58 PM
Oh and good luck! :)
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 04:12:47 PM
You don't need her brothers permission.  Just ask her out.

Oh, and no sex.  Ever.  Even if you marry her.


Yesh!  :hammer:
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: RobJohnson on May 18, 2008, 04:51:48 PM
The brother might be a good idea.

He might be able to warn you about any "red flags" that you are not seeing.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 04:56:29 PM
Yes, they are Americans. She is 29ish and has a little girl, whose dad is not in the picture. Big freakin' deal, try finding someone close to thirty with no baggage... I have a 12 yr old son whose mutha (She ain't a mother) is long gone.
physically my "Type" can be described thusly: Brunette, long hair, tending to thickness, big chest, big hips. All that in an awesome combo
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 05:11:51 PM
Yes, they are Americans. She is 29ish and has a little girl, whose dad is not in the picture. Big freakin' deal, try finding someone close to thirty with no baggage... I have a 12 yr old son whose mutha (She ain't a mother) is long gone.
physically my "Type" can be described thusly: Brunette, long hair, tending to thickness, big chest, big hips. All that in an awesome combo

Go for it dude! If it results in a cage match with the brother, I want to see video posted to youtube.  :evillaugh:

Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 05:14:24 PM
Yes, they are Americans. She is 29ish and has a little girl, whose dad is not in the picture. Big freakin' deal, try finding someone close to thirty with no baggage... I have a 12 yr old son whose mutha (She ain't a mother) is long gone.
physically my "Type" can be described thusly: Brunette, long hair, tending to thickness, big chest, big hips. All that in an awesome combo

Go for it dude! If it results in a cage match with the brother, I want to see video posted to youtube.  :evillaugh:


I don't think you can post a video that short. He'd take me apart so fast...
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: jtyangel on May 18, 2008, 05:20:21 PM
Yes, they are Americans. She is 29ish and has a little girl, whose dad is not in the picture. Big freakin' deal, try finding someone close to thirty with no baggage... I have a 12 yr old son whose mutha (She ain't a mother) is long gone.
physically my "Type" can be described thusly: Brunette, long hair, tending to thickness, big chest, big hips. All that in an awesome combo

Snatch her up...there aren't many like us out there :-) :lmao:

Seriously, best of luck and don't involve the brother. She's 29, a grown woman, and capable of making her own choices.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: RobJohnson on May 18, 2008, 05:39:32 PM
Yes, they are Americans. She is 29ish and has a little girl, whose dad is not in the picture. Big freakin' deal, try finding someone close to thirty with no baggage... I have a 12 yr old son whose mutha (She ain't a mother) is long gone.
physically my "Type" can be described thusly: Brunette, long hair, tending to thickness, big chest, big hips. All that in an awesome combo

Go for it dude! If it results in a cage match with the brother, I want to see video posted to youtube.  :evillaugh:


I don't think you can post a video that short. He'd take me apart so fast...


Kids are a gift from God, not baggage.

Just sayin'
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: morningAngel on May 18, 2008, 07:20:28 PM
Do not break the unwritten dating laws...ever...bad things happen!  Trust me on this one!
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2008, 08:46:16 PM
Do not break the unwritten dating laws...ever...bad things happen!  Trust me on this one!
i liked other people's answers better.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: rich_t on May 18, 2008, 08:46:56 PM
Go for it.  She is an adult and so are you.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: morningAngel on May 18, 2008, 08:50:54 PM
Do not break the unwritten dating laws...ever...bad things happen!  Trust me on this one!
i liked other people's answers better.
of course you did..they only wanted you to break the rules so they could laugh at you...
I CARE...
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: djones520 on May 18, 2008, 08:56:08 PM
My best friend and sister tried dating for a little while.  I was cool with it.  It didn't work out to well though, because she said it felt to much like dating her brother.   :rotf:
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 19, 2008, 10:27:40 PM
Section 7c of the Rule Book clearly states, that rule is no longer applicable once you're past high school and university.  Just be forwarned, the foot notes clearly indicate if you break her heart... a beating is due...
My fear, given that he IS going to beat me either way, would NOT confine my beatings to the controlled environment of the dojo...
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Lacarnut on May 19, 2008, 11:27:33 PM
Section 7c of the Rule Book clearly states, that rule is no longer applicable once you're past high school and university.  Just be forwarned, the foot notes clearly indicate if you break her heart... a beating is due...
My fear, given that he IS going to beat me either way, would NOT confine my beatings to the controlled environment of the dojo...

Well if you feel like he is going to kick your @ss either way, I would tell him my intent is to ask your sister out whether you like it or not. Got to have balls man.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Chris_ on May 19, 2008, 11:35:55 PM
OK. The NEXT TIME I see her, I'm going for it.
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Flame on May 20, 2008, 08:02:02 AM
OK. The NEXT TIME I see her, I'm going for it.


we'll be waiting to hear how it goes!
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: Randy on May 20, 2008, 08:33:42 AM
OK. The NEXT TIME I see her, I'm going for it.


we'll be waiting to hear how it goes!

Most hospitals have Wi-Fi now  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: delilahmused on May 20, 2008, 11:51:45 AM
I don't know, if some guy asked my brother if he could take me out (especially before asking me) I'd be pretty insulted. I'm an adult and regardless of said guy's relationship to my brother I'm quite capable of deciding for myself who I want to date. This isn't the 18th century...we actually have the right to vote, work outside the home, and live in our own apartments, certainly we're also capable of dating (or not) who we choose.

Cindie
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: jtyangel on May 20, 2008, 11:54:30 AM
I don't know, if some guy asked my brother if he could take me out (especially before asking me) I'd be pretty insulted. I'm an adult and regardless of said guy's relationship to my brother I'm quite capable of deciding for myself who I want to date. This isn't the 18th century...we actually have the right to vote, work outside the home, and live in our own apartments, certainly we're also capable of dating (or not) who we choose.

Cindie

Yep and she's not a teenager either...she's an almost 30 year old woman. This must be 'guy' code or something. :-)
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: BEG on May 20, 2008, 11:57:07 AM
I don't know, if some guy asked my brother if he could take me out (especially before asking me) I'd be pretty insulted. I'm an adult and regardless of said guy's relationship to my brother I'm quite capable of deciding for myself who I want to date. This isn't the 18th century...we actually have the right to vote, work outside the home, and live in our own apartments, certainly we're also capable of dating (or not) who we choose.

Cindie

Yep and she's not a teenager either...she's an almost 30 year old woman. This must be 'guy' code or something. :-)

LOL I didn't see where he said she was 30 years old.  Ask her out already.   :p
Title: Re: About that no dating your friend's sisters rule...
Post by: delilahmused on May 20, 2008, 11:57:19 AM
Section 7c of the Rule Book clearly states, that rule is no longer applicable once you're past high school and university.  Just be forwarned, the foot notes clearly indicate if you break her heart... a beating is due...
My fear, given that he IS going to beat me either way, would NOT confine my beatings to the controlled environment of the dojo...

If he's a black belt (especially an instructor) he wouldn't do that. In fact the laws are pretty specific about what he can/cannot do. If he did, he has absolutely NO business being an instructor.

Cindie