The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on June 15, 2012, 10:03:17 AM
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You know, they aren't so hot here, among registered members, but damn, they really bring in the primitive lurkers, the stories about a primitive meeting franksolich.
It's part of franksolich's outreach to the primitives.
Normally, threads in the DUmpster are campfires brought over here from Skins's island, so we may examine and laugh at the primitives, but I'm uh, rather restricted, in this activity at the moment, because as long as I'm doing OSC, I need to keep a distance, lest my moles get discovered because of some act of negligence on my part.
And OSC, for me, right now is the most important thing I'm doing, to build distrust and hostility between the primitives; to incite them to eat each other alive, to incite them to say some really stupid things, looking like an ass.
However, one still feels the compulsion to write, to be creative (dealing with the primitives on their own turf doesn't involve as much creativity as one might think); a flower anxious to bloom, but hasn't yet.
As soon as I get done with "sabrina 1 meets franksolich"--there's one last chapter to go yet--which primitive should meet franksolich next? I need ideas. Thanks.
And no, not the sparkling husband dude or Atman again; a primitive who hasn't met franksolich yet.
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You know, they aren't so hot here, among registered members, but damn, they really bring in the primitive lurkers, the stories about a primitive meeting franksolich.
It's part of franksolich's outreach to the primitives.
Normally, threads in the DUmpster are campfires brought over here from Skins's island, so we may examine and laugh at the primitives, but I'm uh, rather restricted, in this activity at the moment, because as long as I'm doing OSC, I need to keep a distance, lest my moles get discovered because of some act of negligence on my part.
And OSC, for me, right now is the most important thing I'm doing, to build distrust and hostility between the primitives; to incite them to eat each other alive, to incite them to say some really stupid things, looking like an ass.
However, one still feels the compulsion to write, to be creative (dealing with the primitives on their own turf doesn't involve as much creativity as one might think); a flower anxious to bloom, but hasn't yet.
As soon as I get done with "sabrina 1 meets franksolich"--there's one last chapter to go yet--which primitive should meet franksolich next? I need ideas. Thanks.
And no, not the sparkling husband dude or Atman again; a primitive who hasn't met franksolich yet.
UP . . . or Pam, or Anne. :tongue: :fuelfire: O-)
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Calpig. I don't recall Calpig ever being to the Sandhills.
Maybe kpete. That would fun, too.
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The ghost of god_bush_n_cheney.
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Calpig. I don't recall Calpig ever being to the Sandhills.
Maybe kpete. That would fun, too.
Interesting the woman from the gated community traveling to the Sandhills. Has Nads ever been to the Sandhills? Of course she already knows everything about it.
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Well, I happen to enjoy zappaman's sarcastic humor, so maybe you can weave him into 1 of your stories where you both become friends and meet up with someone else from DU, maybe P2BLK?
ETA: The CalPeg suggestions are good too.
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Well, I happen to enjoy zappaman's sarcastic humor, so maybe you can weave him into 1 of your stories where you both become friends and meet up with someone else from DU, maybe P2BLK?
ETA: The CalPeg suggestions are good too.
The Zappa guy would be a hoot. :lmao:
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Proud2bkansaslib. Practically a neighbor.
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UP . . . or Pam, or Anne. :tongue: :fuelfire: O-)
The subway cat or Pam, no.
Neither of them would be credible as visiting the Sandhills.
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Maybe kpete. That would fun, too.
I'm leaning towards the rich bitch myself.
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Proud2bkansaslib. Practically a neighbor.
It would be a re-make of the 1970s movie, The Exorcist, though; but worth consideration.
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UGP or 'Lil Pammy Dawson meeting Franksolich would be quite interesting, I imagine.
(I still have the image of UGP burned in my retinas. :censored:)
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The Zappa guy would be a hoot. :lmao:
I've thought about using the zappaman primitive as the "good" primitive in a story, much like I a couple of times used the mineral oil primitive (although a Hell of a lot of good that did me, in currying favor with him).
The only problem being, if someone here's complimentary of a particular primitive, that particular primitive suddenly has a very short life-span on Skins's island, and I rather like zappaman, and wouldn't want any harm to come to him.
I'm leaning towards the rich bitch, with Anne a strong contender right behind her, but I'm still open for suggestions.
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I'm leaning towards the CalPeg storyline, and sticking with zappaman being a rarity, a fun DU'er.
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I still say UGP. She/he/it isn't even around anymore. Plust, as my dad used to say; She's so :censored: up, she doesn't even know she's :censored: up.
Every story needs an antagonist. A gigantic, P.I.T.A antagonist everyone loves to hate.
I'm holding my ground on this one, Frank. :-)
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I still say UGP. She/he/it isn't even around anymore. Plust, as my dad used to say; She's so :censored: up, she doesn't even know she's :censored: up.
Every story needs an antagonist. A gigantic, P.I.T.A antagonist everyone loves to hate.
I'm holding my ground on this one, Frank. :-)
I disagree with the UGP choice, she's mentally ill, no way does anyone want to go there, just let her be.
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Rich bitch and CalPeg would be good. But, Ban the GOP gets my vote, although it's been kinda quiet lately.
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The first name that sprung to mind for me was kpete, so that's my vote.
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The first name that sprung to mind for me was kpete, so that's my vote.
It's gonna be the rich bitch, and based upon something that actually really truly happened here four years ago.
I'm not "up" to starting it yet--maybe next week--but I already have the general story line in mind.
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The first name that sprung to mind for me was kpete, so that's my vote.
kpete and CalPeg could take a road trip to try to understand Red State folks.
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kpete and CalPeg could take a road trip to try to understand Red State folks.
This is a modest little taste of a preview, but don't look for the story to start until next week:
.....the neighbor came inside the house, both he and franksolich having to use all their muscle to pull the front door shut from the wind. His boots were soggy and mud-crusted; the whole front yard a sea of bottomless mud by now.
kpete looked at him and sourly grimaced; the slob didn’t even wipe his feet.
“The bridge is out,†the neighbor announced.
franksolich looked at him, stunned. “The bridge is out? The bridge that was built to last a 500-year flood, the bridge that didn’t even tremble the last time, when water was already running over it?
“No way.â€
The neighbor looked at him, sadly.
“Gone.
“That was everybody’s last avenue of escape to higher ground, to the outside world,†he reminded franksolich.
“But I don’t need to worry; the property caretaker told me the water’s not going to rise this high, and so I needed to stay where I’m at, so as to not add to the chaos and confusion out there. He says it’ll look as if the river’s reaching the house, but it won’t; he figures at its peak, it’ll still be half the length of a football field away.â€
“Right, and that’s what the sheriff said too. You’re safe where you’re at, and you’ve got enough provisions here to last a 40-day flood as it is. He’s already got hundreds on his hands, and he can’t handle any more.
“I’m going back home; is there anything you need?â€
“Solitude,†franksolich said, thinking of his guest.
“Can’t do that,†the neighbor said. “She’s safer here than she is anywhere else.
“What I meant was, is there any thing you need me to take, so as to save it?
“Money, papers, documents, family treasures, valuables, keepsakes, items of sentimental value? Like in case the roof gets blown off and water spills on everything?â€
Nope, franksolich said. “Remember, all my legal stuff is with my partner west of here, in a safe, all my valuables are in a bank in town, and all the family heirlooms and archives are locked up in storage in town, and the water’s not going to get anywhere near town.
“And the car, well, it’s already on high ground, as close to the top of the William Rivers Pitt I can get it.
“I’m good; I’ve got nothing out here that would break my heart if I lost it.â€
Ooops, he suddenly thought.
“The cats. I don’t want the cats here in this hour of mortal peril. They run around and stuff, and they might decide to run outside the house and try to learn to swim. One can’t control cats, and so best they be someplace they can be uncontrolled but safe.â€
So franksolich went around collecting the cats—they were all there—and gave them one at a time to the neighbor, who rushed outside in the blinding rain to stuff them inside the cab of his pick-up truck.
As the neighbor was holding the last cat, ready to leave with it, he looked at franksolich.
“Well, old buddy, old friend, old pal, partner, this might be the last time we see each other—“
“—until it’s all over,†franksolich abruptly added.
The neighbor looked at kpete, standing at the other end of the living room, and his eyes glistened.
“May God have mercy on your soul,†he quietly murmured to franksolich as he left.....
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The subway cat or Pam, no.
Neither of them would be credible as visiting the Sandhills.
Well... dunno about that Frank. UP could be out hunting prey down in your fields or something since cities have laws against letting panthers run free, animal control, all that... and she left so they wouldn't take her to the zoo. :fuelfire: :fuelfire: :fuelfire: :fuelfire:
:-) :-)
I think it would make a great story!!!!
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Well... dunno about that Frank. UP could be out hunting prey down in your fields or something since cities have laws against letting panthers run free, animal control, all that... and she left so they wouldn't take her to the zoo. :fuelfire: :fuelfire: :fuelfire: :fuelfire:
:-) :-)
I think it would make a great story!!!!
Too late.
I already started, but as I want this one to be a good one, I'm going to take my time.
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Too late.
I already started, but as I want this one to be a good one, I'm going to take my time.
Oh durnit!!!! <kicks the dog and goes to bed>
:-) :-)
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Too late.
I already started, but as I want this one to be a good one, I'm going to take my time.
Don't forget the adjustable wrench this time.
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The ghost of god_bush_n_cheney.
frank and fellow CCers, you wanna see the primitives hopping mad with spit flying from their mouths as they scream in anger? Then have a close encounter of the third kind with the late red round one.
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frank and fellow CCers, you wanna see the primitives hopping mad with spit flying from they mouths as they scream in anger? Then have a close encounter of the third kind with the late red round one.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Already thirsting for more just with that tidbit of the story. Can't wait.
Can't wait until opporation OSC kicks off either. :popcorn:
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Don't forget the adjustable wrench this time.
More of a brief preview; this may turn out a monumental epic:
.....During the second morning of the rain, he became concerned about something.
Taking the half-used roll of Angel Soft toilet paper of the holder next to the commode, and the full roll still in the cabinet above, he put them on the kitchen table, and waited for kpete to wake up and come in for coffee.
She grimaced in disgust at him when she walked by, but that didn’t matter to franksolich; there was something more important going on that needed addressed.
“Look,†he said, holding up the half-used roll; “I know it’s common for women, for whatever reasons, to use yards of toilet paper when men tend to use inches, and I surely don’t want to discourage your being a woman.
“However.
“I didn’t anticipate being stranded in here, I didn’t anticipate having a woman here, and myself being a male, living alone out here, I never had a reason to have more than one package of four rolls in this place; it’s not anything I ever thought about hoarding.
“This, this roll and a half, is all we got to last us until the rain’s over and things get clear again.
“Which’ll probably be another two or three days yet.
“You’ve been here two days now, and already used up two-thirds of what I had here.
“When we run out of this, we’re out. There’s no more.
“And when we run out of it, both of us are going to be in a pretty pickle.
“It’s really not necessary,†he said wearily, “to triple-wrap the seat with toilet paper before you sit down on it. It’s a waste of a temporarily-irreplaceable commodity, and even though I use the commode too, I assure you I have no germs or other contagion to debilitate you; in fact, I’m more fastidious than most people.
“The seat of the commode is clean; it doesn’t need wrapped.
“I grew up in and around hospitals; I know antiseptics, and I know how to clean, and how to keep things clean. Unless you’ve done something to it yourself, the seat of my commode is probably cleaner and more sterile than the dishes in your cupboards.â€.....
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The subway cat or Pam, no.
Neither of them would be credible as visiting the Sandhills.
Coach, I know you've already got your next story, but there is a way to get UGP to the Sandhills for story after the next story.
She's claimed that she astrally travels to Panther Mountain. I'm sure that this fictional mountain exists no where near the Sandhills, but you could have Blackie the Ghost Chicken visit her just as she is beginning her astral journey. He slips on a hairball that she has hacked up and accidentally bumps into her chest. This shocks her enough to knock her off of her astral course. Instead of Panther Mountain she ends up in the Sandhills on the William Rivers Pitt.
With Pam you could have her on a cruise ship. She's trying to make time with a bartender as the Bermuda Triangle sucks up the ship. The Triangle then vomits her into the Sandhills.
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Already thirsting for more just with that tidbit of the story. Can't wait.
Can't wait until opporation OSC kicks off either. :popcorn:
Uh, OSC has been underway for some weeks now, sir.
It's a covert operation, and its effects will take time to manifest themselves; I'm guessing probably mid-summer.
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There are posters at the DU with over 15K and upward posts, yet their names mean little to nothing to me. I do believe we are guilty/ and or attracted to headline reading - meaning whichever threads have the subject that catches our eye wins. Those threads are usually started by the misfits we have come to know well. They give themselves an advantage in this regard, which we fall for time and time again.
I believe we do a great disservice to the island by engaging in this practice, and should instead endeavor to do more. There are hundreds if not thousands of misfits who are not getting the proper attention they deserve, and I for one pledge to find those misfits - if for anything, for DOTY consideration. I will be damned but Nads is NOT getting it again.
The next character of your story is out there Frank. I hope to find that person by the end of the summer. :-)
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Uh, OSC has been underway for some weeks now, sir.
It's a covert operation, and its effects will take time to manifest themselves; I'm guessing probably mid-summer.
Yeah. I meant I was waiting until the effects strike the Primitives. Take complete hold. Until they start to skin, and eat each other alive. Should be fun to watch.
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Should be fun to watch.
Okay, I'm taking off--from here--for a few days.
The story starts when I get back.
To hold you for the meantime, a third taste of a short preview:
.....“We can’t have that dirty filthy dog in here,†kpete protested. “You got rid of the dirty filthy cats, but this dog’s worse than that.â€
“He’s not a dirty filthy dog,†franksolich replied; “it’s obvious he’s somebody’s dog, and he’s lost and he’s scared and he’s terrified, and so he stays here, until we find out.â€
kpete grimaced. “Well, at least put him out in the garage.â€
“You forget. The roof of the garage is gone. He’d still be outside.
“He’s somebody’s dog; he’s scared, and he needs to be with people.â€
“I can’t stand it, I can’t stand it, I can’t stand it,†kpete shrieked.
Raising his voice for the first time, he shouted, “OKAY!
“I’LL PUT HIM IN ONE OF THE BEDROOMS!
“AND I’LL STAY THERE WITH HIM, UNTIL HE’S CALMED DOWN, DAMN IT!â€
“But the roof’s gone there, too,†kpete said.
“Not all of it,†he coldly replied; “only half of it. The other two bedrooms are still okay; all they have is water cascading down the walls,†after which he carried the shaken dog away, slamming the door behind him.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, kpete muttered as he disappeared.
I hate him with all my heart and soul, this misbegotten deformity, this mistake of nature.
Oh, why did his mother have to carry him to term, this gross caricature of humanity, this clumsy stupid inept retarded buffoon who doesn’t know anything about anything?
“I hate him, I hate him, I hate him,†she said out loud, as she crumpled into the reclining chair, this time not bothering to lay the sheet of plastic across it so as to insulate her from his—and only God knew who else’s--germs and contamination.
She began crying.
The thunder and lightning outside got closer, growing more intense.
Oh God, she thought; and my life’s in the hands of this bizarre perversion of human life, this cripple, this grotesque Imperfection, this weird disability, this genetic malfunction, this freak who should’ve never been allowed to be born; this idiot, this man-child.
“I hate him, I hate him, I hate him,†she repeated.
Suddenly, three days after it should’ve happened, the electricity flickered, and the lights went out.
The darkness made the rain outside seem louder, and more terrifying.
She shivered as she looked towards the door he’d slammed shut, hoping he’d come out.
But as lightning punctuated the darkness, the door remained adamantly shut.....
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Oh man, that's more exciting than the others. I feel like the story is about to climax, but knowing you partially, I may be just in the middele.
Personally, I hope she meets a sticky, icky end at the jowls of the dog, or something.
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Oh man, that's more exciting than the others. I feel like the story is about to climax, but knowing you partially, I may be just in the middele.
Personally, I hope she meets a sticky, icky end at the jowls of the dog, or something.
Maybe a departure on the Romulus and Remus storyline.