The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: CactusCarlos on May 28, 2012, 12:08:32 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/12553290
And what’s worse, when we do raise the alarm, we’re most often met with criticism, threats or even retaliation. At the very least, women who call out sexism can expect to hear the B word, which makes me beg the question: Is it even possible to nip sexism in the bud without a little mud getting slung your way? Of course, researchers and “experts†say yes, that men actually like being reminded of their sexist behaviors and will, in fact, like you more for it. But in real life, women know that’s usually not the case.
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“I work as a TA in a foreign language department at a major university. For an oral examination a fellow TA held exams in our office, where about 15 other TAs were working. There were three different oral skits in which male students referred to women as “sluts†and “whoresâ€, some of whom were dying in fires and whose fictional deaths were the subject of laughter. The TA laughed and did not reprimand the students. I intercepted several students and asked them why they thought it was at all appropriate to include that language in a skit. Of course, their reply was that they didn’t mean to offend anyone. I took this to the head of the department, and I don’t talk to this TA anymore for a plethora of reasons. But the way he tells his story is that I pounced on these poor students and yelled at them. Yes, I am the crazy psycho feminazi bitch for not voicing my opinions politely and for voicing them in the first place.â€
“I was working on a trading floor in New York and my team was mostly guys. Like the other women on the floor, I regularly wore pencil skirts and heels, and would occasionally overhear guys making comments about fit and legs and butts, all of that. One day I got fed up and when I heard one of my teammates (who I was pretty cool with) at the desk behind me say something about the assistant who walked by I turned around and told him it was unprofessional and inappropriate. He called me a bitch to my face and I got the cold shoulder from my team from that point on. I eventually left because of the way they treated me, it’s like their whole opinion of me changed.â€
Surprisingly, it was Balik, who brought me the Shanley Kane saga (I reached out to Kane for comment, but she declined, said the whole drama was a distraction from her work) in the first place, who offered the first morsel of helpful advice. She has a friend, she says, who recently shut down some sexist behavior in her male colleagues without destroying their relationship or hearing the B word. She heard a comment in passing, turned to the two guys and said, calmly “inappropriate.†One of them responded, “Really?†“Yes,†she said, and continued on her way. While it doesn’t sound dissimilar to the anecdote form the trading floor, Balik says she thinks that her friend’s casual tone might be key.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/meghancasserly/2012/04/20/the-girls-guide-to-calling-out-sexism-workplace-tech-entrepreneurs/
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first, lets point out, du is not the only place women are discussing this.
do we really think this is all it takes? gently, tippy toeing, stroking ego while a small comment is made will be all it takes to be "embraced"?
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If you confront someone in a way that looks like you're aiming to fight, you usually get one. The topic is merely scenario, the fight is human nature.
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I pounced on these poor students and yelled at them. Yes, I am the crazy psycho feminazi bitch for not voicing my opinions politely and for voicing them in the first place.
And here we find the nugget of truth in this DUmmies tale of woe.
Which is verified right here:
I turned around and told him it was unprofessional and inappropriate. He called me a bitch to my face and I got the cold shoulder from my team from that point on. I eventually left because of the way they treated me, it’s like their whole opinion of me changed
What this DUmmie is...is the ballbuster that everyone has to watch what they say around. The one that sucks the joy out of the room the minute she walks in.
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You know, when I work around guys, I never have this problem.
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You know, when I work around guys, I never have this problem.
I had only a couple of problems, but overall men are awesome to work with. 1 guy was like 50 years older then me, and another guy was foreign born, but the problems were resolved easily.
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I agree with the other ladies here. I would actually rather work with men because most of them don't go around looking for something to be offended by and the drama level is almost undetectable.
Besides rather than turning into robo-bitch if some dude makes a comment that my skirt makes my legs look good, I say thank you.
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Besides rather than turning into robo-bitch if some dude makes a comment that my skirt makes my legs look good, I say thank you.
pics or we're calling shenanigans
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I agree with the other ladies here. I would actually rather work with men because most of them don't go around looking for something to be offended by and the drama level is almost undetectable.
Besides rather than turning into robo-bitch if some dude makes a comment that my skirt makes my legs look good, I say thank you.
Me too. I worked in engineering for 15 years, so most of my co-workers were men. My sister worked in a couple of offices full of women. When I visited her at work, you could cut the tension with a butter knife. She told me horror stories of how her co-workers were jealous, vindictive, and back-stabbing. Too much drama for me. Of course, I've always gotten along better with guys, even in school. I played tackle football for years (until the fellows wouldn't let me play anymore; around 7th grade.) I talk football, baseball, and hunting, and don't know a dang thing about pedicures, pocketbooks, hair styles, or clothes.
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Men are pretty simple, we are basically horn-dogs and our minds wander off work and onto sex a lot; politely set limits for us, in a friendly way, and most of us will heed them and even help enforce them. However when the women significantly outnumber the men, the women do seem to very often get into complex backstabbing office politics that would make the Medicis look like amateurs, the targets almost always being other women. I suppose it goes back to some genetic imperative just like the simple horniness of men does, but it's a bitch to deal with in a hyper-legalistic society like ours.
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Men are pretty simple, we are basically horn-dogs and our minds wander off work and onto sex a lot; politely set limits for us, in a friendly way, and most of us will heed them and even help enforce them. However when the women significantly outnumber the men, the women do seem to very often get into complex backstabbing office politics that would make the Medicis look like amateurs, the targets almost always being other women. I suppose it goes back to some genetic imperative just like the simple horniness of men does, but it's a bitch to deal with in a hyper-legalistic society like ours.
I work in an office full of women. I stopped talking to a couple of women when I noticed they were acting like high school kid's. Then they turned their cattiness and backstabbing on me. I continued to ignore them. It's the most ridiculous thing. It's hard to understand why people go to work and act like that. I'm there to make money. Keep your drama at home.
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This explains it all.
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DUmmies...the best advice I can give you about improving men's attitudes: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A PRETTY LITTLE RED DRESS! You might try that instead of anger. Just a thought.
Cindie
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Keep the drama with the baby mama -Jesse "High" Jackson-
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I think its safe to say that Seabeyond is a sock puppet of Iverglas.
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You know, when I work around guys, I never have this problem.
Me neither, mind you, I'm also not mortally offended when a coworker, or boss, calls me "dear."
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Me neither, mind you, I'm also not mortally offended when a coworker, or boss, calls me "dear."
Or ma'am.
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How about "Hot Stuff"?
I would never do this at work. I wait until I get home and can post it on Facebook. :whistling:
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How about "Hot Stuff"?
I would never do this at work. I wait until I get home and can post it on Facebook. :whistling:
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out
Donna Summer -Hot Stuff- (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPlV2dzXWCw)
Lookin' for another who won't blow my cover...
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I'm in love with the new AA at work. She's got an ass I want to use for a pillow.
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I'm in love with the new AA at work. She's got an ass I want to use for a pillow.
African-American? Anti-American? Anti-Aircraft? Alcoholics Anonymous? Asian-American? American Airlines?
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Sittin' here eatin' my heart out
Donna Summer -Hot Stuff- (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPlV2dzXWCw)
Lookin' for another who won't blow my cover...
That sounds more like the Eagles, "Take It Easy". :tongue:
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I'm in love with the new AA at work. She's got an ass I want to use for a pillow.
Worked with a woman like that before. Unfortunately, she had a ring. Good luck on your endeavor.
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Had a LT at Bethesda that all the women liked doing group PT with. We would all tend to fall in behind him on runs because the view was nice. :naughty:
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African-American? Anti-American? Anti-Aircraft? Alcoholics Anonymous? Asian-American? American Airlines?
:rofl: Adminstrative Assistant
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:rofl: Adminstrative Assistant
secretary