The Conservative Cave

The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Chris_ on May 12, 2012, 08:52:14 PM

Title: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: Chris_ on May 12, 2012, 08:52:14 PM

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: obumazombie on May 12, 2012, 08:53:54 PM

Drinking beer makes you more intelligent, it sure made Budweiser.

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: Chris_ on May 12, 2012, 08:59:21 PM

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: CG6468 on May 13, 2012, 03:30:56 PM

He married the brewmaster's daughter, and now she is sadder budweiser.

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: Chris_ on May 13, 2012, 03:34:29 PM

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. :lmao:

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: obumazombie on May 13, 2012, 03:35:23 PM

He offered a toast to her honor
And all night long
he was on her and off her.

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: CG6468 on May 14, 2012, 12:35:45 PM

There was once an Indian squaw who spent all day just sitting on a hippopotamus hide. Since she did nothing else, she grew to be very obese.

The squaw in the next tepee had 2 sons, each of whom was a giant of a warrior, and when they were in camp, they each sat on deer hides when they were relaxing.

The other warriors started arguing about who weighed more – the squaw or the 2 warriors who were brothers. Since they had no scale, they approached the medicine man to settle their arguments.

The medicine man studied the situation, and he then proclaimed: “The weight of the squaw exactly equals the combined weight of the 2 warriors.”

The tribe demanded to know how the medicine man knew this to be true. He responded, “It’s very simple. I just used the Pythagorean theorem. ‘The squaw of the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaw of the other two hides.’”

 :overreaction:

:bolt:

Title: Re: Are we having pun yet?
Post by: Chris_ on May 20, 2012, 01:00:56 PM

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.