The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on May 11, 2012, 09:07:34 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018113859
Oh my.
Kaleva (7,323 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
Getting kicked out of bedroom for SO's bad gas.
One night, early in our marriage, my then wife had a bout of very bad gas. When she felt it coming on, she got out of the bed, ran to the master bathroom, closed the door, turned on the bathroom exhaust and did her thing. After a couple of times of this, she got a blanket and pillow out of the closet, handed them to me and said I had to go and sleep on the couch in the living room for the night so she could get some sleep.
From then on, whenever she had bad gas, it was I who would have to sleep on the couch. And when I had gas, it was I who got banished to the living room
siligut (7,225 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
4. Does she have some sort of GI disorder?
That just seems a little unusual that it would be so bad and so often.
Kaleva (7,323 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
5. Thyroid.
She was so embarrassed by it that she went to see her doctor. Tests were run and she was put on some thyroid medication and that pretty much took care of it.
JoePhilly (11,764 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
7. Just hold the covers over her head until she passes out.
She'll sleep like a baby.
sarcasmo (12,271 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
8. Since Gastric bypass surgery my wife also has the bad gas. Lucky for me I have a spare bedroom.
rurallib (28,094 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
10. get a pipe to hook to your ass and save a little on the heat bill.
El Supremo (11,012 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
11. Snoring is worse.
Believe me.
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I'd pay good money to find out what she's eating. :naughty:
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Ewwwwwwwwww!
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Ewwwwwwwwww!
You know, I'm curious about that.
How do two people in bed together deal with the matter of intestinal gas?
<<has never emitted gas in the presence of another person.
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I would emagine any flatulence coming form a DUmmie, would have a Havaad accent. >thipthipthip<
Down here, they resemble a chain saw going through a loose sheet of plywood.
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You know, I'm curious about that.
How do two people in bed together deal with the matter of intestinal gas?
<<has never emitted gas in the presence of another person.
Wasn't there some occurrence in a check out line?
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You know, I'm curious about that.
How do two people in bed together deal with the matter of intestinal gas?
<<has never emitted gas in the presence of another person.
My wife and I just do it. Then we laugh about it like a couple of fourth-graders, especially if the sound was out of the ordnary.
If the smell is particularly pungent my wife will react with agonized groans and a pillow over her face. Five minutes later everything's fine (we have good ventilation).
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At a strange thing to post about.
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At a strange thing to post about.
Even dogs think farts are funny. :fuelfire:
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Even dogs think farts are funny. :fuelfire:
Our dog turns and looks at her butt when she farts.
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Our dog turns and looks at her butt when she farts.
Mine would look surprised, then stare at me.
You know who the wife blamed for it.
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My ex would pop gum reading a book in bed while I was watching TV. I would tell to stop and when she would not I would let out a noisy one. Her popping would start back again and so would my farting. Used to piss her off big time.
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You know, I'm curious about that.
How do two people in bed together deal with the matter of intestinal gas?
<<has never emitted gas in the presence of another person.
Don't make beans and cabbage LOL, problem solved! We don't have that issue at all, on the other hand, we do have issues with blankets, I'm always cold so I have 2 comforters and a quilt on the bed right now, in the winter I have 4-5, whereas my Husband is so hot all the time, so we argue about the blankets, he says it's too many and I say you keep screwing up the blankets by throwing them off and the bed gets all messed up.
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You know, I'm curious about that.
How do two people in bed together deal with the matter of intestinal gas?
<<has never emitted gas in the presence of another person.
You are telling a little white fib...
Really, there is no shame, it's just nature. Surly you have been stuck in a Walmart or a Lowes and have had trouble finding the mens room. One must outgass to buy time.
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A fart is a turd blowing for the right-of-way. :tongue:
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This reminds me of a story -
We have a Dachshund/Beagle mix (Doxle) who can be a smelly little dog. Anyway, I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my youngest who was a baby at the time and the dog was sleeping next to him. The boy had a bout of the foulest gas I was ever unfortunate enough to be there for. The dog turned and looked at the kid with this look of utter disgust, got up and left.
It was as if the dog wanted to say 'Dude, you ain't blaming me for this. I'm out.'
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Wasn't there some occurrence in a check out line?
That was noise, not odor.
Noise without odor doesn't count.
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That was noise, not odor.
Noise without odor doesn't count.
From a purely technical stand point, that's true.
Much like a clap of thunder without the bolt of lightning.
SBD's on the other hand, are startling and cause for much merriment for the emission specialist. :yahoo:
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You should try working with a bunch of full blooded rednecks on Saturday.....after an allnighter in a juke-joint drinking beer, eating pickled pigs feet and pickled eggs. The Germans shouldda had such gas in WW1.
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You should try working with a bunch of full blooded rednecks on Saturday.....after an allnighter in a juke-joint drinking beer, eating pickled pigs feet and pickled eggs. The Germans shouldda had such gas in WW1.
Well, yeah, I'm aware of that, because well, I'm a guy number one, and number two, I lived and worked with rowdy people from since I was a teenager.
Me, myself, though, I go elsewhere, where I'm alone, to let loose.
The biggest explosion occurred when I was in the socialist paradises of the workers and peasants, and developed a, uh, intestinal problem that gave me much distress, and it bloated me, expanding my girth.
It was obvious what it was, and this being the socialist paradises, there was no medical care around.
Fortunately, I remembered reading a diary of a physician with the British army in Afghanistan during the 1840s, about when most of the men were laid low with an intestinal parasite. He put them on coarse rice with water.
I did that; I dined on nothing but brown rice for three days.
Some time the night of the third day, I felt the need, and rushed outside, far away from everybody.
I swear, that had to be the longest one I ever let loose--some minutes, without interruption--and by the time I was done, my waist had shrunk back to its normal 33".
It was so long and uninterrupted.
I dunno if I created any odor or not.
After that, I was healthy again, no problems.
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Well, yeah, I'm aware of that, because well, I'm a guy number one, and number two, I lived and worked with rowdy people from since I was a teenager.
Me, myself, though, I go elsewhere, where I'm alone, to let loose.
The biggest explosion occurred when I was in the socialist paradises of the workers and peasants, and developed a, uh, intestinal problem that gave me much distress, and it bloated me, expanding my girth.
It was obvious what it was, and this being the socialist paradises, there was no medical care around.
Fortunately, I remembered reading a diary of a physician with the British army in Afghanistan during the 1840s, about when most of the men were laid low with an intestinal parasite. He put them on coarse rice with water.
I did that; I dined on nothing but brown rice for three days.
Some time the night of the third day, I felt the need, and rushed outside, far away from everybody.
I swear, that had to be the longest one I ever let loose--some minutes, without interruption--and by the time I was done, my waist had shrunk back to its normal 33".
It was so long and uninterrupted.
I dunno if I created any odor or not.
After that, I was healthy again, no problems.
No lumps? :???: :whistling:
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No lumps? :???: :whistling:
I don't recall any accident.
Of course, this was out on the unpeopled steppes, where I was changing clothing maybe once a week, just like everybody else. In other words, nobody avoided me as if I stank or anything, although some did comment that I looked healthier than I had before.
The socialist paradises have never been for the finicky.
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I was under the impression women didn't fart.
Because they won't shut-up long enough to build any back-pressure.
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I was under the impression women didn't fart.
Because they won't shut-up long enough to build any back-pressure.
You better hope this doesn't get bumped to the top where the ladies will see it. :-)
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Bump for the Bun.
I wanna see some fireworks. :-)
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This could get interesting... :popcorn:
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Well, yeah, I'm aware of that, because well, I'm a guy number one, and number two, I lived and worked with rowdy people from since I was a teenager.
Me, myself, though, I go elsewhere, where I'm alone, to let loose.
The biggest explosion occurred when I was in the socialist paradises of the workers and peasants, and developed a, uh, intestinal problem that gave me much distress, and it bloated me, expanding my girth.
It was obvious what it was, and this being the socialist paradises, there was no medical care around.
Fortunately, I remembered reading a diary of a physician with the British army in Afghanistan during the 1840s, about when most of the men were laid low with an intestinal parasite. He put them on coarse rice with water.
I did that; I dined on nothing but brown rice for three days.
Some time the night of the third day, I felt the need, and rushed outside, far away from everybody.
I swear, that had to be the longest one I ever let loose--some minutes, without interruption--and by the time I was done, my waist had shrunk back to its normal 33".
It was so long and uninterrupted.
I dunno if I created any odor or not.
After that, I was healthy again, no problems.
Ron White: "You ever take a crap so big that your pants fit better?" :rotf:
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Ron White: "You ever take a crap so big that your pants fit better?" :rotf:
I'm sure there was enough gas in there to send a diesel-powered semi-truck a couple of hundred miles down the road. But as it happened out on the desolate steppes of southern Russia, no harm done.
I'm sure it was steady and uninterrupted for at least three minutes, maybe even more.
And yes, my middle had shrunk considerably when I was done.
I've since wondered why cattle who eat too-green alfalfa never developed this technique; if one's full of intestinal gas, it's probably a good idea to blow it out.
In private, of course.
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1 thing I've noticed, is that people who have the worst gas are the skinny people who are health-food nuts.
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I've heard vegetarians have the worst farts ever. Methinks the DUmmie OP and his wife are vegans...