The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 11, 2012, 11:27:52 AM

Title: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 11, 2012, 11:27:52 AM
* There is no evolution; only a list of animals Mitt Romney thought looked too gay.

* Confuscius says a man setting out on a mission of revenge should first dig 2 graves. When Mitt Romney sets out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves: 1 for his target and 1 for the guy who thinks he can go around telling Mitt Romney how many graves he should be digging.

* The only reason Obama doesn't have a son who looks like Trayvon Martin is because Mitt Romney bullied Michelle into having girls.

* God would have taken more than 6 days to create the world but Bain Capital had deadlines.

* The Boston Tea Party was started because a bunch of British colonial subjects knew that one day Mitt Romney would be born and he ****ing hates tea.

* Jedis use The Force because nobody, and I mean nobody, uses Mitt Romney.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 11, 2012, 11:37:24 AM
* The Navy SEAL Team 6 mission against Osama bin Laden was really Mitt Romney playing a "kick me" prank.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: Doubleplusungood on May 11, 2012, 12:02:22 PM
* Mitt Romney gave a dog a ride on his car, and Obama then ate that dog.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: FlaGator on May 11, 2012, 12:03:09 PM
* Mitt Romney did cut anyone's hair. The hair jumped out on it own because Mitt told it to.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 11, 2012, 01:49:18 PM
* Mitt Romney has only ever had one wage-paying job in his life and that was as a delivery driver for K9-FC where he delivered a bucket of Seamus to a young black man attending Harvard as a junior Constitutional law professor. Romney quit the job after he was stiffed for a tip.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 11, 2012, 03:20:25 PM
* Mitt Romney doesn't do drugs, drugs do Mitt Romney
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: miskie on May 11, 2012, 03:44:16 PM
Romney pushed Ted's car into the Chappaquiddick for the lulz.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: miskie on May 11, 2012, 03:52:35 PM
Romney bet Scrooge McDuck one dollar that he could screw up a cancer patient's chances for survival at Johns Hopkins by robbing the patient's PayPal account without getting caught. Romney won.

What's black, white, and racist all over ? The Mitt Romney Starving Orphans Minstrel Show !
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: Doubleplusungood on May 11, 2012, 04:11:13 PM
* Mitt Romney purchased George Bush's hurricane steering machine. Just wait till he is POTUS.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: Doubleplusungood on May 11, 2012, 04:11:37 PM
* Mitt Romney doesn't like Kanye West.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: diesel driver on May 11, 2012, 05:26:32 PM
Mitt Romney invented global warming, so Algore would have something to do after inventing the internet.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: jukin on May 11, 2012, 07:15:08 PM
Sharks have a Mitt Romney week.
Title: Re: Mitt Romney Facts
Post by: diesel driver on May 11, 2012, 08:39:34 PM
Pitbulls are afraid of Mitt Romney, but not because they are a main entree on the menu.