The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 01, 2012, 08:35:38 AM

Title: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 01, 2012, 08:35:38 AM
in the defense of liberal population centers.

As you well know liberals despise enhanced interrogation techniques. They are morally offended to the core of their souls (though they tend to deny they have souls). They believe enhanced interrogations are the worst of moral offenses and violate numerous international treaties...despite the fact that every special operations service member and combat pilot must graduate SERE training and are subjected to equal or worse treatment.

Be that as it may I, for one, do not wish to burden liberals with the rpesumed moral stain of enhanced interrogation techniques.

As I am also a conservative I believe any act of government foisted upon another without their consent is an offense to MY principles.

That is why I ask you--my fellow conservatives--to join me in guaranteeing that no enhanced interrogation techniques will ever be employed to thwart a terrorist attack against liberal population enclaves. Be it New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, San Francisco, Detroit, Austin or any major population center, and regardless of the enormity of the attack or its anticipated destruction or loss of life there is simply nothing within those cities worth waterboarding a terrorist to save.

Leave them to their art festivals and $5, 8 ounce tri-nomial coffee beverages with the peace of mind  knowing that if and when they are reduced to frothing contortions during a mass chemical weapons attack that at least their--and your--consciences are clear. Though the devastation may be final and millions of Democrat/Progressive members of our political family will be reduced to eye-clawing, blood-bathed vomiting we can take pleasure in the fact that this is what they would have wanted.

My fellow conservatives: THIS is the right thing to do.

Who will join me in making this pledge?
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on May 01, 2012, 08:49:38 AM
Sorry, it's just too much like tying your mentally-impaired younger sibling to a tree for the wolves to eat because you're tired of taking care of him/her.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: mamacags on May 01, 2012, 08:58:10 AM
 Luckily I am OK with that.  What finer way to go than being eaten by endangered animals tied to a endangered tree?
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 01, 2012, 09:01:16 AM
Sorry, it's just too much like tying your mentally-impaired younger sibling to a tree for the wolves to eat because you're tired of taking care of him/her.

I'm sorry...

...I'm not really seeing the problem here.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: JohnnyReb on May 01, 2012, 09:04:26 AM
I further promise to protect liberals from themselves. In case of a poison gas attack, I promise to stuff their mouths with my dirty socks and hold their noses until the gas dissipates t a safe level.....even if it's for 24 business hours.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: BlueStateSaint on May 01, 2012, 09:07:17 AM
I further promise to protect liberals from themselves. In case of a poison gas attack, I promise to stuff their mouths with my dirty socks and hold their noses until the gas dissipates t a safe level.....even if it's for 24 business hours.

That works, though some of the lefties might want to have their mouths stuffed with their dirty underwear.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: GOBUCKS on May 01, 2012, 11:34:46 AM
Luckily I am OK with that.  What finer way to go than being eaten by endangered animals tied to a endangered tree?

That reminds me of an old, old, old DUmp classic where one of the DUmmies had a pet eaten by some wild critter, and other DUmmies said he should be proud to have contributed to the circle of life or some such nonsense.

Anyone remember that?
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: Skul on May 01, 2012, 11:41:08 AM
I promise not to use enhanced techniques where I can be observed.
Is that OK? :???:
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: JohnnyReb on May 01, 2012, 11:48:18 AM
I promise not to use enhanced techniques where I can be observed.
Is that OK? :???:

What about us voyeurs, we get off on watching? ....film at eleven maybe?
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: BlueStateSaint on May 01, 2012, 12:07:00 PM
That reminds me of an old, old, old DUmp classic where one of the DUmmies had a pet eaten by some wild critter, and other DUmmies said he should be proud to have contributed to the circle of life or some such nonsense.

Anyone remember that?

Something about a cat being eaten by a hawk, IIRC.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: Skul on May 01, 2012, 12:34:27 PM
What about us voyeurs, we get off on watching? ....film at eleven maybe?
No.
Next thing, you'd get tired of watching and want to help.
I'm selfish like that. :-)
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: jukin on May 01, 2012, 01:04:31 PM
I pledge!

I also think that democrats and 0bama supporters should be the very first to be laid off. They should reap what their policies have sown.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: Karin on May 01, 2012, 01:38:33 PM
Works for me. 

"It is an honor for your cat to be eaten by a hawk." 

Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: AllosaursRus on May 01, 2012, 01:49:23 PM
That reminds me of an old, old, old DUmp classic where one of the DUmmies had a pet eaten by some wild critter, and other DUmmies said he should be proud to have contributed to the circle of life or some such nonsense.

Anyone remember that?

Wasn't it a cat eaten by a hawk? I know I've had eagles takin' out the geese around here on a regular basis. Damn fine thing to watch! They look like F-16s comin' in on a bombing run!

What about us voyeurs, we get off on watching? ....film at eleven maybe?

That's not exactly what I enjoy watchin' though! I don't think there are any wimmens!
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: Skul on May 01, 2012, 09:18:26 PM
Allo, be a good leezard.
Go grab that other jug of water, please.
No, you can't help, it's mine.
Title: Re: My Fellow Conservatives, Join me today in disavowing enhanced interrogation
Post by: obumazombie on May 01, 2012, 09:26:14 PM
Why can't carnivores be reasonable and just be vegans ?