The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Freeper on April 25, 2012, 11:00:16 AM

Title: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: Freeper on April 25, 2012, 11:00:16 AM
Quote
SheilaT
 
Favorite part of the Bible.

This was sent to me by a good friend who got it from a Peace Corps buddy of his.

"My favorite part of the Bible is where

Jesus gives money to the rich,

Tells the poor to suck it up,

And asks Caesar for his birth certificate."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002608635

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus preached about taking wealth from the rich by force.  :whatever:

Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on April 25, 2012, 11:22:11 AM
Jesus only ever asked for 10%.

He never told the poor to sit home waiting for a check.

And the genealogies prove He was a natural born citizen.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: WinOne4TheGipper on April 25, 2012, 11:25:19 AM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002608635

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus preached about taking wealth from the rich by force.  :whatever:



My favorite part is where the apostles performed an abortion just after presiding over a gay marriage.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: Porfiry on April 25, 2012, 12:20:54 PM
"10And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

 11And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

 12That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing."  (1st Thessalonians 4)

and this important reminder:

"For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."  (2nd Thessalonians 3:10)
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: hillneck on April 25, 2012, 12:52:50 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002608635
My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus preached about taking wealth from the rich by force.  :whatever:


These ignorant ass heathens can't understand simple everyday stuff like working hard and providing a living for your family.  How are they going to understand something like the Holy Book?

Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: Freeper on April 25, 2012, 12:57:58 PM
Quote
RegieRocker
7. Comprehension and definition are not the

strong abilities of a right wing extremists. Further agreement of their twisted perception of what was written by Council of Nicea serves them only. I would make it easy for them to understand you are in disagreement with their perception.

 :whatever:

Quote
rustydog
13. Jesus to blind man: "Sorry, preexisting condition."

 :whatever:

Quote
lame54
14. what about when...

jesus sells the fish and loaves for twice their market value

Or how about when he forced the kid to hand his lunch over? Oh wait he didn't the boy freely gave it to him.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on April 25, 2012, 02:48:59 PM
Quote
rustydog

13. Jesus to blind man: "Sorry, preexisting condition."

I bet the blind man was grateful to be able to become self-reliant.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: AllosaursRus on April 25, 2012, 02:59:42 PM
Damn these people piss me off! Talk about clueless!

It shows in how much all their heroes give to charity every year as compared to our "right wing" Repubs.

FOAD you degenerates!
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: WinOne4TheGipper on April 25, 2012, 04:53:36 PM
ATTENTION ALL DUMBASSES:

Whenever you get that urge to post a thread like this, where you try to identify conservative positions on issues, kindly click the link in my signature line.  If you read and understand it, you may come to the conclusion that you don't know what you think you know.  You may just save yourself from looking like an effing retard for once.

This has been a public service announcement, because I care.  Sort of.  Okay, not really.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: Kyle Ricky on April 25, 2012, 04:55:08 PM
Those douchenozzles are so stupid. Jesus said to help those who can't help themselves, not help those who refuse to help themselves. I guess that leaves all the liberals out of the equation. Conservatives are so much more morally correct than a liberal jackass.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: MrsSmith on April 25, 2012, 05:02:41 PM
Jesus answered and said unto them, "Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see:


The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.


And blessed is [he], whosoever shall not be offended in me."


The greatest gift you can give a poor person (or anyone else) is the knowledge of the path to eternal life and the riches that actually count.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: Splashdown on April 25, 2012, 05:03:35 PM
How about  the leper who told Jesus, "Don't touch me! I'm on SSDI!!!!"
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: USA4ME on April 25, 2012, 08:57:31 PM
Jesus had plenty of opportunities to condemn the Roman Empire for not providing universal healthcare to all its citizens, or for providing food, clothing, and shelter to the poor, or to dismantle their military and put more money into public education and other social programs.  But I just can't seem to recall Him ever doing that.

Must be me.

.
Title: Re: Favorite part of the Bible.
Post by: Skul on April 25, 2012, 11:48:20 PM
My favorite part starts.. "Our Father..."