The Conservative Cave

The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: CG6468 on April 03, 2012, 02:51:42 PM

Title: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: CG6468 on April 03, 2012, 02:51:42 PM
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.

'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio....

The Air Traffic Controller replied, "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ..."
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: obumazombie on April 03, 2012, 03:35:56 PM
Blind guy stumbles into an all lady biker bar,
He orders a drink and asks the bartender,
"Do you want to hear a blonde joke"
Bartender says, 'Well, I'm a blonde"
"And I keep a bat behind the bar to hit guys over the head who tell blonde jokes"
"Furthermore the barmaid is a blonde, and is a 3rd degree black belt in Muay Thai"
"There is a blonde sitting on you left, and two sitting on your right, all bigger than 6'2'' and 200lbs"
"So, do you still want to tell your blonde joke ?"
Blind guy says
"Not if I have to repeat it 5 times"
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: CG6468 on April 04, 2012, 08:09:44 AM
THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, MOST PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYING IN RECENT YEARS.

25% of blonde women in this country are on medication for mental illness. That's really terrifying.........

It means 75% are running around with no medication at all!
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: rustybayonet on April 04, 2012, 09:26:18 AM
And they can vote!  [ duck... in-coming] :tongue:
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: NHSparky on April 04, 2012, 01:49:42 PM
Whadya call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant.
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: obumazombie on April 12, 2012, 03:13:48 PM
How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree ?
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: docstew on April 13, 2012, 04:55:12 PM
How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree ?

Wave to her
Title: Re: Blonde in Airplane
Post by: obumazombie on April 13, 2012, 05:23:21 PM
Wave to her
Nicely done.