The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: JakeStyle on March 15, 2012, 10:36:37 PM
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Archae (21,833 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today.
I had my bicycle at the gas station across the street, putting air in the tires.
Guy in an H2, fills up his gas hog and starts yelling at me.
"You tree-huggers are costing me money!"
I figures this guy has to be an FIB.
I was right.
Illinois plates, and "liberal hunting license" on back bumper.
I asked the dimwit why he was whining at me since I can't afford a car, and why he *HAD* to drive a fat gas-guzzling H2.
"I need it for my family!"
I remind him a minivan has more room and sucks less gas.
Guy tells me to **** off and roars off down the station's driveway.
I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.
Today's GOP.
:whatever:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002429643
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:rotf:
Oh my gosh... too funny. I wish I could pump gas and watch an argument go down like that. That might ease the pain at the pump just a tiny bit.
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:rotf: :rotf:
You can just feel the hate. I go to the corner gas station all the time with my husband. I never see truth to power. :lmao:
I never got one of those Tea Party decals either. :mad:
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ON its literary merits, that's actually a pretty good bouncy.
It's nice to see not all the primitives have lost their touch at good fiction-writing.
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Yeah, I know every time I see someone on a bicycle my first thought is, "@!*&$#* driving up gas prices again!"
:mental:
Seriously DUmmies, there is a Writing Group at the Hive. Go there and get some pointers. Or maybe you have been there and this is the limit to DUers' creative writing chops. Who knows.
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Sorry Frank, that shit was weak. Talk about bouncing balls. No cops? No bushes? No cheers from bystanders as he told evil rethuglican off? I award you no bongs, DUmmie, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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Hey! Imaboobi's back!
Used, abused, and discarded by another boyfriend, no doubt.
She's always been a failure in the sack.
Response to Archae (Original post)
Thu Mar 15, 2012, 08:03 PM
Sarah Ibarruri (17,391 posts)
4. I'd love for there to be a large study (with brain scans) of right wingnuts
I'm certain their brains are ****ed up.
You know, it must be sooo frustrating for nutcase nadin.
She gets her ass handed to her every time she posts one of her wacky tales, but then ludicrous bouncy tales like this one are believed by every monkey at the DUmp.
The crackpot who made up this silly tale gets nothing but true believers, and she catches hell for reporting centipedes of ice in the shithole.
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I know I am repeating myself, but it's so delicious to say, 60 centimeters is a meter.
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Hey Sarah, I know the super-secret method to make a woman climax with nothing but two fingers in less than 10 seconds. How's your metrosexual date(s) working out? :stirpot:
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Hey Sarah, I know the super-secret method to make a woman climax with nothing but two fingers in less than 10 seconds. How's your metrosexual date(s) working out?
That sounds like a climactic change.
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That sounds like a climactic change.
I saw what you did there, but, for a more realistic experience, don't analyze it, FEEL it. Then describe it.
Example,
That FEELS like a climactic change. About a meter's worth.
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Yawn, that is a bouncy right out of the template.
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If that were a true story the guy in the H2 would've just run over the ***** on the bike. Problem solved!
Cindie
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Just plain lame...they aren't even trying. :bs:
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The crackpot who made up this silly tale gets nothing but true believers, and she catches hell for reporting centipedes of ice in the shithole.
I thought it was centipedes ON ice, like them Ice Capades thingies on TV. :lmao:
You know, Disney On Ice, Muppets On Ice, NHL Hockey...
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That DUmmie is really stooooopid if they're putting air in their tires like Obama told them to , to save gas and they're riding a bicycle. :-)
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Cost of air machines is what now? 75 cents for five minutes (if that)?
They're also placed in a far off corner to be away from normal traffic.
Bike tire takes maybe three seconds to fill.
I haven't seen free air at a station in decades.
The bouncie just doesn't add up.
DUmmie is lying.
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Cost of air machines is what now? 75 cents for five minutes (if that)?
They're also placed in a far off corner to be away from normal traffic.
Bike tire takes maybe three seconds to fill.
I haven't seen free air at a station in decades.
The bouncie just doesn't add up.
DUmmie is lying.
One local chain of convenience stores--Stewart's--still has free air at their shops that have gas.
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One local chain of convenience stores--Stewart's--still has free air at their shops that have gas.
I'll be darned.
Bet the added bump in customers easily covers the cost.
Good for them. :cheersmate:
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What happened to free air?
I'll tell you. The aircompressors were usually mounted outside and people started stealing them. So stores put them inside and people started cutting the hoses off and stealing the hoses. So stores started keeping the hose inside and you had to ask for the hose and people started walking off them without returning them. Then the stores started charging a deposit to get the hose ....and people started pitching a fit because they got their feelings hurt. "WHAT? I don't look trustworthy?" So stores started letting others mount a "pay compressor" outside and the whole cycle started all over again...So the hell with "free air", your slack/flat tire isn't their problem any more. You leave it sitting out there in the way to long and they'll just call a tow truck.
Do I need to explain what happened to "free water" or an outside source of water?
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taterguy (25,207 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
52. Seriously dude, invest in a floor pump
Pumps at gas stations are designed for car tires, which are much larger than bike tires.
Taterhead actually felt the urge to explain a gas station pump is designed for car tires and that car tires are larger than bicycle tires. :rotf:
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taterguy (25,207 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
52. Seriously dude, invest in a floor pump
Pumps at gas stations are designed for car tires, which are much larger than bike tires.
Taterhead actually felt the urge to explain a gas station pump is designed for car tires and that car tires are larger than bicycle tires. :rotf:
Hey man, you have to remember these are HAA-vard graduates, you know, the mostest intelligent people in the world.
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We have 2 cars and a truck, 1 of the cars is a little compact, costs me over $40 to fill that damn thing up, when Bush was President I was paying around $15.
And Rebel, I sent you a PM, wasn't sure it went through though, the board was acting a little weird for me.
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I have a battery-powered compressor at home. Great for bikes, car tires, basketballs, what have you. Cost all of $20 and has paid for itself several times over. Amazing how that works.
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We have 2 cars and a truck, 1 of the cars is a little compact, costs me over $40 to fill that damn thing up, when Bush was President I was paying around $15.
Yep. I was spending $25 a week before 2008. Now it's more like $40, and the price of everything else has gone up with it.
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The more likely explanation on why this DUmmie is riding a bike in the first place is not because he can not afford a car or mother gaia, it is because he probably lost his license due to being high/drunk on a Cheeto run and busted for DUI.
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The big headline on Drudge this morning:
COST OF LIVING SOARS
Does anybody know if the mainstream media's picked up on this story yet?
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One local chain of convenience stores--Stewart's--still has free air at their shops that have gas.
As does Wawa down here . . .
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ON its literary merits, that's actually a pretty good bouncy.
It's nice to see not all the primitives have lost their touch at good fiction-writing.
If that had "actually" happened, the guy in the H2 would have flattened the bike on the way out.
But still, 2 bongs for creativity.
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Archae (21,833 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today.
I had my bicycle at the gas station across the street, putting air in the tires.
Guy in an H2, fills up his gas hog and starts yelling at me.
"You tree-huggers are costing me money!"
I figures this guy has to be an FIB.
I was right.
Illinois plates, and "liberal hunting license" on back bumper.
I asked the dimwit why he was whining at me since I can't afford a car, and why he *HAD* to drive a fat gas-guzzling H2.
"I need it for my family!"
I remind him a minivan has more room and sucks less gas.
Guy tells me to **** off and roars off down the station's driveway.
I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.
Today's GOP.
:nobong:
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Okay, who here has ever heard someone in a SUV yell or bitch at someone in a Prius? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Now, who here has ever heard someone in a Prius bitch at someone in an SUV? Yeah, little more common.
Then again, I always laugh at the assholes who pass me in a Prius doing 80-85. Do they not realize that NO car is "eco-friendly" at that speed?
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I thought it was centipedes ON ice, like them Ice Capades thingies on TV. :lmao:
You know, Disney On Ice, Muppets On Ice, NHL Hockey...
NHL hockey? On ice ? GTFO of town. Unheard of. A little known fact is, it's packed hail, usually 60 centimeters, or 1 meter as they say.
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Yawn, that is a bouncy right out of the template.
Sounds like the bouncy template and official scoring guide needs to be published again. I am not sure if the DUmmies are no longer tying or if they just don't know the rulez :rulez: (ftp://:rulez:) This might be a good thread before the bouncy totally disintigrates as a genre.
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And of course the DUmmies eat it up like they always do, before derailing the thread by talking about Hummers (the vehicle). One guy resists
pa28 (2,945 posts)
9. Your tale is well composed and most absorbing my friend. n/t
The bouncy itself in my opinion is absurd and approaches parody. Not as good as Dreamer Tatum's though.
Here is another feature of the bouncy experience:
krispos42 (41,522 posts)
39. Ask him where your high-gas-price royalty check was...
...because you hadn't gotten it recently.
The DUmmies in their comments always suggest things to say to various characters in the story, even though all of this happened in the (literary) past. It's like, "Oh! I coulda gottem good if I'da just said that!" :thatsright:
Here's another one:
Turbineguy (14,226 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
48. Tell him
he's the reason credit cards charge 29% interest. He's too ****ing stupid to notice.
:mental: I don't even know what that means.
And another
Response to Archae (Original post)
15, 2012, 11:18 PThu Mar M
Zalatix (2,337 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
50. I would have said "**** off and get lost, don't talk to me, EVER!" first.
Don't speak to me!!!! :catfight:
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Zalatix (2,337 posts)
50. I would have said "**** off and get lost, don't talk to me, EVER!" first.
(http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h228/burnsk73/badass.jpg)
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I haven't seen free air at a station in decades.
That's inflation!
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Archae (21,833 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
...
I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.
nice little touch to end your fairy tale.
Kinda like candy sprinkles on top of a dogshit cup cake.
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Bike boy would live in perpetual panic attack hell here in my hood. There are quite a few Hummer3s in driveways. They were made here.
And I don't think getting a sassy mouth with the owners would be a good idea. It's a 50/50 split of military and police driving them.
Go ahead, get yourself some DU cred, flap those gums to one of them, by all means, try it. You never know who you'll encounter behind the wheel. DUmmies.
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Hey Sarah, I know the super-secret method to make a woman climax with nothing but two fingers in less than 10 seconds. How's your metrosexual date(s) working out? :stirpot:
:naughty:
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That's inflation!
I see what you did there. The President doesn't want underinflated tires.
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Okay, who here has ever heard someone in a SUV yell or bitch at someone in a Prius? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
....
Actually I'm guilty of screaming profanities at people who drive those cars.
Not because they drive a prius as such; but because they need to get the f*** off my road because they clearly can't drive worth a s***.
I've never had a political discussion while filling up either. If there's someone else at the hi-flow diesel pump, the conversation usually goes something like :
"Mate"
"Mate"
"Gettin' expensive to put this stuff in aint it"
"Sure is. Glad this is a work vehicle".
"Well you have a good 'un then mate"
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NHL hockey? On ice ? GTFO of town. Unheard of. A little known fact is, it's packed hail, usually 60 centimeters, or 1 meter as they say.
Really?
Well sheet far!
(Which is "redneck" for "I did not know that"! :lmao:
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Actually I'm guilty of screaming profanities at people who drive those cars.
Not because they drive a prius as such; but because they need to get the f*** off my road because they clearly can't drive worth a s***.
I've never had a political discussion while filling up either. If there's someone else at the hi-flow diesel pump, the conversation usually goes something like :
"Mate"
"Mate"
"Gettin' expensive to put this stuff in aint it"
"Sure is. Glad this is a work vehicle".
"Well you have a good 'un then mate"
When I was driving a truck, I would see some of these shitbox cars, usually 20+ years old, usually "dogshit brown" in color, usually more rust than paint, usually driven by some pony-tailed, gray-haired prof looking type male, or some hairy. half-dressed (or Goth-dressed) feminist.
The cars had every available square inch of surface area covered with some moronic, left-wing nonsense on a bumper sticker. I'm not sure if they were there to hold the car together, or to advertise the intelligence (or lack of it) of the driver, but it would have been less noticeable if it was towing a flashing neon sign, powered by a portable generator, with BIG, BOLD letters saying: "WARNING: DUMBASS AHEAD!"
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002429643
Archae (21,838 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today.
I had my bicycle at the gas station across the street, putting air in the tires.
Guy in an H2, fills up his gas hog and starts yelling at me.
"You tree-huggers are costing me money!"
I figures this guy has to be an FIB.
I was right.
Illinois plates, and "liberal hunting license" on back bumper.
I asked the dimwit why he was whining at me since I can't afford a car, and why he *HAD* to drive a fat gas-guzzling H2.
"I need it for my family!"
I remind him a minivan has more room and sucks less gas.
Guy tells me to **** off and roars off down the station's driveway.
I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.
Today's GOP. 46
:whatever:
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Sorry to break this to you, Tess, but JakeStyle posted this thread 2 days ago.
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,70563.0.html
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Zero Bongs
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Silly primitive. He wasn't complaining that you were costing him money at the pump, he was complaining that you were costing him money at the car wash, when he has to have the residual bicyclist bits pressure washed off of the undercarriage of his vehicle. The H2 driver is welcome at my home anytime, and I'll pressure wash any bicyclist bits off for free. I love to bicycle, but they simply don't belong on the road with cars.
In my town, they've painted up a few roads with these:
(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s233/ignitethefire65/hit.jpg)
I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, but to me, it just says "speed up! bicyclists ahead!"
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Silly primitive. He wasn't complaining that you were costing him money at the pump, he was complaining that you were costing him money at the car wash, when he has to have the residual bicyclist bits pressure washed off of the undercarriage of his vehicle. The H2 driver is welcome at my home anytime, and I'll pressure wash any bicyclist bits off for free. I love to bicycle, but they simply don't belong on the road with cars.
In my town, they've painted up a few roads with these:
(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s233/ignitethefire65/hit.jpg)
I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, but to me, it just says "speed up! bicyclists ahead!"
Watch out for hovering bicycles ? Where are the Wright brothers when you need them ? Maybe even Igor Sikorsky.
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In my town, they've painted up a few roads with these:
Geezuz, talk about narrow-gauge traffic lanes.
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I read these type of bouncies to my husband. They make him laugh.
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I read these type of bouncies to my husband. They make him laugh.
I do too. :rotf:
It's entertainment. My husband's typical response is, "What the f..."