The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on March 12, 2012, 11:16:35 AM

Title: fecund grasswire primitive has moldy wooden matches
Post by: franksolich on March 12, 2012, 11:16:35 AM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1158648

Oh my.

What a really really really serious problem.

How can one cope?

Quote
grasswire (33,081 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

moldy wooden matches??

This is a puzzle. About four months ago I bought kitchen matches -- the kind of packaging that's a bunch of little boxes packed in cello wrapper. Last week I opened up the cello wrapper, opened one of the little boxes and found moldy wooden matches. Black powdery stems. Opened another box; same thing.

Now, how could matches get moldy inside boxes inside a cello wrapper? They don't light, either, by the way. The cello pack was stored inside a drawer of a storage cart with other household stuff -- light bulbs, filters, etc. All in a closet.

The defrocked warped primitive, she with the face like Hindenberg's, who's been banned from nursing for life:

Quote
Warpy (62,584 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

1. They were made of wet, unseasoned wood.

Return them to the store. You won't get your money back after 4 months but they do need to know there's a problem with that vendor. Wet matches no worky and probably wouldn't have worked 4 months ago.

At least the cellophane prevented the mold from escaping the package.
Title: Re: fecund grasswire primitive has moldy wooden matches
Post by: Ballygrl on March 12, 2012, 11:17:38 AM
I buy those matches at the dollar store to use to light candles, never had a problem with them at all.
Title: Re: fecund grasswire primitive has moldy wooden matches
Post by: GOBUCKS on March 12, 2012, 11:40:39 AM
Quote
Now, how could matches get moldy inside boxes inside a cello wrapper? They don't light, either, by the way. The cello pack was stored inside a drawer of a storage cart with other household stuff -- light bulbs, filters, etc. All in a closet.

The part about buying the matches four months ago is one of those routine DUmp lies.

No one, least of all grasswire Judy, has any idea how old these matches (if they exist) are.

Remember, poor, addled grasswire bunks in an old abandoned bodega in Oak Grove, Oregon.

It wasn't totally vandalized before she tottered in with her little red wagon.

We know that, because she's bragged about having her own toilet, and vandals would certainly have taken the copper plumbing.

So, it's reasonable to expect that odds and ends of no worth may have been left behind by previous occupants.

That would include trivial junk like a box of matches.

And that would be the inspiration for a DUmp thread.

Title: Re: fecund grasswire primitive has moldy wooden matches
Post by: Rebel on March 12, 2012, 12:10:06 PM
These mental midgets really can't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the bottom without coming to DU first, can they?
Title: Re: fecund grasswire primitive has moldy wooden matches
Post by: Karin on March 12, 2012, 12:36:01 PM
I'm going to start a whole new thread, possibly in Breaking News:  "I was vacuuming and I found this doohickey lying on the rug.  What could it be?  Do you suppose it's important?  Where did it come from?  Can I just throw it away?  What if 6 months later I find out I really needed it?  Does it nullify a warranty? What should I do???"  :panic:   

Title: Re: fecund grasswire primitive has moldy wooden matches
Post by: NHSparky on March 12, 2012, 12:36:52 PM
If any of these people bought furniture from IKEA, they would be well and truly ****ed.