The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on March 10, 2012, 07:12:51 AM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/101870907
Oh my.
LynneSin (84,105 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
I just had the WORST night tonight and I doubt any of you could top this!!
So I'm doing some volunteer work tonight. Because I worked from home today, when I was done with work I had about 15 minutes to get some decent clothes on and get to my volunteer job (smelly sweats and ripped t-shirt would not do).
So I grab the first pair of pants on top of the clean laundry basket and it's a pair of blue cords that just happen to be a bit baggy on me. But I figured I need to get going and it's a job where I stand around so I should be fine. But when walking, about every 2-3 minutes I have to hike up my pants else I'd be like one of those guys with the really droopy drawers except I don't wear oversize underwear underneath.
So leaving the garage I head to what is the usual parking garage where I park. I'm looking for my car, using my remote to see if I can find it and of course, hiking up my pants every 2 seconds. Turns out I didn't park in the normal garage but the one next door.
Ok so I head over there and I recall that I parked on the 2nd floor. The ground level is 1st floor and next flight up is 2nd BUT>...... it turns out the garage next door the 2nd level is actually 3 flights up - first floor is ground and 2nd floor would be the 1 on the elevator.
OMG I'm strolling around this garage, lugging my purse and a magazine. I didn't wear a coat so I'm getting cold AND of course my coin slot is pretty much visible to anyone who wants to see it because the damn pants are getting really frustrating!!! Wait, I click the remote and I can hear my car but I can't see it ANYWHERE on the floor. So I go to the elevator and discover that there is a ground floor and I'm probably down a level. By about now I'm also ready to piss my pants.
NIGHTMARE
I'm hiding those pants so I don't suffer thru them again or at least finding a belt to wear.
applegrove (52,004 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
2. We have a family friend who was giving a talk in university. That day she happened to wear loose underwear. They started to slip down her legs as she gave her presentation. She stood behind a desk, let them fall and stepped out of them. It happens to the best of us!
RiffRandell (1,629 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
6. Oh that so sucks.
I had a pair like that that I couldn't stand any longer, so got rid of them immediately. Those are the worse---who in the hell wants to pull up their pants every 2 seconds?
madmom (8,690 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
10. Had a friend tell me this one..
She said.. "you know how sometimes when you get undressed at night you take everything off at once? Well in the morning I had to run into the grocery store quickly so just grabbed my pants from the night before. Walking down the aisle of the grocery store I feel something on the bottom of my shoe, thinking I stepped in something in the parking lot I tried to shake it off. To my surprise it was my underwear wrapped around my shoe. I just kind of slid it along till no-one was looking and picked it up and shoved it in my purse."
The fecund grasswire primitive:
grasswire (33,070 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
11. oh ick the man at the self-check line today had the WORST crack
He kept bending over to get items from his cart, and every time he did, this crack was on full display. Ewww! People in line behind him were totally grossed out. He had like a double crack -- really weird.
yankeepants (675 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
12. Wow. I'm jealous that you have a pair of pants that are too loose.
Thems pretty rare for me this time of year!
Uh, I dunno.
Other than his professional attire, franksolich usually wears thrift-store clothes.
When I run low on the wardrobe inventory, I just stock up on a bunch more, and because I don't care to shop, I just take what looks okay, and size it up later. I mean, 99 cents wasted on a too-small shirt or a too-large pair of shorts isn't going to break me. (I donate back what doesn't work out.)
One early morning the cats were all agog and excited, waking me up. Someone was at the door.
I grabbed a pair of corduroy shorts from a recently-purchased pile and slipped them on.
They were way too big, and kept sliding down. It was a man from the natural-gas company. I stood at the doorway talking to him, my legs spread w-a-a-a-a-y apart so the shorts wouldn't slip down any more, because I had nothing on underneath that.
But that's about the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to franksolich.
HappyMe (3,195 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
19. Well, you do have me beat there.
I had a lovely evening.
Years ago I was taking some files down to an attorney that was heading out to court. One of the snarkiest, prissy-est and meanest secretaries on earth was on the elevator with me and 2 other people. She stepped up to the door a floor or so before she was getting out. Her granny panties slid down. She just stood there. When the door opened, she stepped out of the undies and got off. A quick thinking guy that worked in docket stepped up, held the door and kicked them out of the elevator after her. I think we all came close to dying we were laghing so hard. It was by far, one of the best things that has happened to me at a job.
Wait Wut (2,850 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
21. Years and years ago...
...my best friend was getting married. She had one of those over the top, ridiculously expensive weddings. Her dress had a 6 foot train.
We're standing at the back of the church, waiting to walk down the aisle. I hear, "Pssst..." I turn around and she's turned pure white and looks about to faint (which she had done earlier that day). I walked over and asked what was wrong. "My underwear just ripped and is hanging around my knees.
I got down on my knees, trying to be as discreet as humanly possible, pretended to adjust her dress/train, reached under her dress and yanked them off. She went through the entire wedding and reception commando and I had her torn underwear hidden in my bouquet. Oh...and she was a very prudish girl and a virgin.
After that, her 3 tier, 3 sectioned cake with waterfall fell over.
LynneSin (84,105 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
22. How, for the love of god, does someone's underwear fall off?
I mean was she wearing some pair she bought 5 years ago where it's now all faded and the elastic is worn? I mean it's a big fancy wedding - splurge on some new undies that will fit!
Wait Wut (2,850 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
23. They were lace.
Very, very expensive lace bikini underwear. Apparently, not very well made, very, very expensive lace. The waist band just fell apart at the seam. She did go back to the store and threw a fit. I felt really bad for her, because there were other customers giggling like crazy and the sales associate looked like she was having a hard time holding back, too.
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Response to LynneSin (Original post)Tue Mar 6, 2012, 10:37 PM
RiffRandell
6. Oh that so sucks.
I had a pair like that that I couldn't stand any longer, so got rid of them immediately. Those are the worse---who in the hell wants to pull up their pants every 2 seconds?
Now RiffRaff, did you get rid of the loose pants immediately or did you get rid of them after you found that you couldn't stand them any longer? Is it too much to expect logical thinking from a DUmmy?
Response to LynneSin (Original post)Tue Mar 6, 2012, 09:41 PM
applegrove
2. We have a family friend who was giving a talk in university. That day she happened to wear loose
underwear. They started to slip down her legs as she gave her presentation. She stood behind a desk, let them fall and stepped out of them. It happens to the best of us!
Reply to this post
Another DUmmy using the pretentious sounding "in university" that they think makes them sound British. Why not just say that your friend gave a lecture at a university?
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I've sometimes wondered about these stories - a single DUmmy having a 'wardrobe malfunction' would be one thing...but they all manage to have the. I'm starting to think that they're all products of over-active imaginations (or perhaps narcotics) designed to give them kudos for being liberated enough to discuss their underwear (or whatever the current topic of conversation is).
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The guy with the plumber's crack must be busy "spreading the wealth".
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Someone needs to take a count of the number of bouncy tales in that thread. I lost count around three or four.
It's funny that even the DUmpmonkeys who are making up these lies still believe the lies told by their fellow DUmmies.
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Really there should be a law against loose pants. Look for some dingbat from kalifornia to write one up as the state goes of the fiscal cliff.
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I'm always amazed at the stuff these "people" decide to post about. I'm not sure that I'd ever decide to pop into CC and start a post about me wearing loose pants. Then I remembered something someone said on here in the past about the DUmmies usually post these lame posts to brag or for street cred so I went back and read it again. Sure enough. The second sentence: So I'm doing some volunteer work tonight.
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I'm always amazed at the stuff these "people" decide to post about.
Their campfire about reusable toilet paper a few years ago was a laugh riot.
If you never saw that one (sorry, no link), well, you ain't see nothing yet.
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Their campfire about reusable toilet paper a few years ago was a laugh riot.
If you never saw that one (sorry, no link), well, you ain't see nothing yet.
That may have been around the time when environut Sheryl Crow started her "one square" crusade to save toilet paper.
No one has offered to shake hands with her since.
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/101870907
LynneSin (84,105 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
blah blah blah
Lynseed DUmmy, let me help you out.
The next time something mildly interesting, mildly irritating, or mildly embarrassing happens to you, ask yourself the question, "who else gives a damn?" If the honest (and I mean really honest) answer is, "the other DUmmies on Skin's Island", make your story as succinct as possible.
Let's try your story again, rewritten for brevity. "Tonight, I couldn't find my parked car, I had to pee, and my pants were too loose."
If your one-sentence description is not interesting or entertaining, don't waste time writing out a long version. If it is, go with the short version.
Oh, hell. Nobody gives a damn about your loose pants or loose bladder anyway.
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Must have been some big pants to fall off that booty.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7671201
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Must have been some big pants to fall off that booty.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7671201
When someone tells her to haul ass, it takes two trips.
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I've had trouble with my underwear falling off also. For years and years, I was tall and skinny. Being skinny must have been the problem because it seldom happens now that I've gotten older and bigger. But back in the day, whenever I saw my wife naked, my underwear just seemed to fall off for some reason.
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I've had trouble with my underwear falling off also. For years and years, I was tall and skinny. Being skinny must have been the problem because it seldom happens now that I've gotten older and bigger. But back in the day, whenever I saw my wife naked, my underwear just seemed to fall off for some reason.
I've heard the remedy for loose underwear is seeing Calpig naked.
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Must have been some big pants to fall off that booty.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7671201
She's one of those unattractive women for whom feminism was invented.
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Must have been some big pants to fall off that booty.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7671201
Question about the 2nd picture, WTH is a vegan birthday cake? Does that mean no eggs and no butter? It probably tasted like ass.
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Question about the 2nd picture, WTH is a vegan birthday cake? Does that mean no eggs and no butter? It probably tasted like ass.
A vegan birthday cake would be a pan of "why bother".
And what is TaHomCat doing with the phallic-shaped bottle and two wrist braces? The phrase "finding his ass with both hands" comes to mind. :hyper:
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I'm always amazed at the stuff these "people" decide to post about. I'm not sure that I'd ever decide to pop into CC and start a post about me wearing loose pants. Then I remembered something someone said on here in the past about the DUmmies usually post these lame posts to brag or for street cred so I went back and read it again. Sure enough. The second sentence: So I'm doing some volunteer work tonight.
That's what got to me. It;'s volunterr work,no ones going to fire you if you went back to your house and found something better to wear. This is why your called DUmmies dummy. Stupid like that shouldn't be let out in public.
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Underwear are cheap, if yours are too big, buy a new pair.
If the bridal story is true, then I do feel really bad for the bride, but what does her being a virgin have to do with anything? And what sort of person calls her friend a "prude" on a public message board?
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/101870907
Oh my.
The fecund grasswire primitive:
Uh, I dunno.
Other than his professional attire, franksolich usually wears thrift-store clothes.
When I run low on the wardrobe inventory, I just stock up on a bunch more, and because I don't care to shop, I just take what looks okay, and size it up later. I mean, 99 cents wasted on a too-small shirt or a too-large pair of shorts isn't going to break me. (I donate back what doesn't work out.)
One early morning the cats were all agog and excited, waking me up. Someone was at the door.
I grabbed a pair of corduroy shorts from a recently-purchased pile and slipped them on.
They were way too big, and kept sliding down. It was a man from the natural-gas company. I stood at the doorway talking to him, my legs spread w-a-a-a-a-y apart so the shorts wouldn't slip down any more, because I had nothing on underneath that.
But that's about the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to franksolich.
Heh, Coach, you reminded me of a slight mishap back in the early '80's.
I had an old Harley that my dad got in a business deal. It was in about 3 boxes, so I had to put it together. Well everything you hear about bikers is true! While I never belonged to any gang, I hung around guys from the Gallopin' Goose. Don't know if you've heard of them, but at the time they were the arch enemies of the Hells Angels. Haven't heard much about them lately, I think they're numbers are dwindlin'.
Now there's some crazy mofos, but hell I was in my early twenties and we all think we're indestructible at that age, at leats I did..
Well, back to the story. I was livin' in Klamath Falls Oregon at the time and I don't know if any of you have been there, but at the time it was still like a western frontier town right off of TMC. Horeshoes was there game and I was pretty damn good at it.
Well we , meanin' Me and "Cody", what else could his name be, right, were invited to a tournament in a nearby town.
A little background before I continue. I dropped my scooter a few years earlier and broke an ankle and had road rash down my whole left side. To make a long story short, I quit wearin' underwaer 'cause it irritated where the rash healed.
Well we're at this tournament and it just so happens there's about a 3 foot fence between the beer keg and the horse shoe pits. Well me bein' the show off that I was at that age, decided just to jump over the thing like they did in the Olympics way back when, and ripped the whole backside outa my jeans!.
Did I mention I didn't wear underwear? Well Cody wouldn't let me leave because we were ahead in the tournament so I spent the rest of the day tryin' to hide my lily white ass! Oh, I think we won all of $15 a piece!
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:whatever:
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Things that make you say, WTF?
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I've heard the remedy for loose underwear is seeing Calpig naked.
That's nasty.
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That's nasty.
I tend to think that it would work, though.
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:whatever:
Sorry my dilemma's don't interest you. It was aimed toward franc, anyway. Heh!
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Sorry my dilemma's don't interest you. It was aimed toward franc, anyway. Heh!
I'm surprised you mentioned anything to frank about a lily white ass. You're only encouraging him to post THAT picture again. :rotf:
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That's nasty.
Only an observation, EC, certainly nothing I'd want to participate in or see, in spite of Bally's 'poem' she wrote. :tongue:
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I'm surprised you mentioned anything to frank about a lily white ass. You're only encouraging him to post THAT picture again. :rotf:
Oh, I don't think anybody has to worry about that again; it fulfilled its purpose.
However, it wasn't "lily-white;" near the end of summer I tend to have tanned well.
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Oh, I don't think anybody has to worry about that again; it fulfilled its purpose.
However, it wasn't "lily-white;" near the end of summer I tend to have tanned well.
Heh, heh! back then I didn't even wear summer shorts, I was too self conscious about my scars, doncha know. Nude sun bathing would have been completely outa the question! Hell, I was even self conscious around "Toots", and she was there when I went thru surgery and really looked like hell!!!