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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on February 08, 2012, 08:18:39 PM

Title: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 08, 2012, 08:18:39 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002285909

Oh my.

Quote
Omaha Steve (31,205 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

After a bad couple of months I got some great news today

I got back to work today after being out sick. There was a meeting with the accommodation committee. It isn't final yet that I will not be able to keep my current job. It will be a few weeks before I know. But it looks like a lower paying position in the police dept. is a real possibility. I can't bump a person out of a job. There must be an opening and I have to be qualified. The hiring freeze had been a roadblock. Considering everything that has been bad news of late, this is great news. I'd keep my seniority and benefits.

Well, that's all good, and one's happy for the big guy.

He's going to need a job anyway, given that he's not going to get to skim off the taxpayers of Bellevue.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 08, 2012, 08:21:09 PM
What was the name of that deputy sheriff on that one half-hour television comedy series during the early 1960s?

Anybody remember?  A skinny scrawny little guy.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: JakeStyle on February 08, 2012, 08:21:25 PM
Wasn't he working at a waste treatment plant?  I wonder was his duties will be with the PD.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: RWKindaGuy on February 08, 2012, 08:38:41 PM
Wasn't he working at a waste treatment plant?  I wonder was his duties will be with the PD.


I'm guessing his job will be to eat any left over doughnuts from midnight shift.

Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: miskie on February 08, 2012, 08:40:57 PM
What was the name of that deputy sheriff on that one half-hour television comedy series during the early 1960s?

Anybody remember?  A skinny scrawny little guy.

Sounds like you are referring to Deputy Barney Fife as played by Don Knotts on The Andy Griffith Show
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Chris_ on February 08, 2012, 08:41:31 PM
What was the name of that deputy sheriff on that one half-hour television comedy series during the early 1960s?

Anybody remember?  A skinny scrawny little guy.
Barney Fife, silly.

The accommodation committee... sounds like something from summer camp or OWS.  You know, a bunch of shitbricks playing at grown-up.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 08, 2012, 08:42:22 PM
Sounds like you are referring to Deputy Barney Fife as played by Don Knotts on The Andy Griffith Show

Okay, that's it.

<<am not a television person.

If it works out for the big guy, I guess I'll have to re-re-baptize him "Omaha's Barney Fife."

Thanks.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Chris_ on February 08, 2012, 08:42:59 PM
Sounds like you are referring to Deputy Barney Fife as played by Don Knotts on The Andy Griffith Show
Not to get off topic, but TAGS went from driving a '61 Galaxie to a '64.  Totally skipped the more desirable (and attractive) '63.  Bummer.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Freeper on February 08, 2012, 08:59:38 PM
Wasn't he working at a waste treatment plant?  I wonder was his duties will be with the PD.

Someone has to wash the squad cars, and clean the latrines.

Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 08, 2012, 09:04:42 PM
Someone has to wash the squad cars, and clean the latrines.



You know, if Omaha's Ed Norton does in fact become Omaha's Barney Fife, I hope to God that franksolich is the first person to whom he issues a traffic ticket.  I'd even do it on purpose, violate some little law, just for the honor of being ticketed by the big guy.

Really.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Chris_ on February 08, 2012, 09:09:05 PM
Quote
Omaha Steve (31,205 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

After a bad couple of months I got some great news today

I got back to work today after being out sick. There was a meeting with the accommodation committee. It isn't final yet that I will not be able to keep my current job.
This mélange of absurdities has me scratching my head.  I have no idea what he did with the water/sewage department, but wouldn't The Prophet Billy Clinton's (he who came before the Messiah) FMLA legislation allow him to keep his job during an extended (12 months or less) absence?  I thought he was the union goon's best boy (shop steward).  Never mind that any union position is subordinate and requisite to actual employment.  Now the brotherhood of pipe-fitters and whatnot are ready to throw him out on the street?  What's up with that?  I thought this shitstain was gainfully employed before he went campaigning for elected office.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Skul on February 08, 2012, 09:09:29 PM
Barney Fife, silly.

The accommodation committee... sounds like something from summer camp or OWS.  You know, a bunch of shitbricks playing at grown-up.
All together now, class, say union.
Basically he gets one of two things.
Sit behind a desk and shuffle paper, or,
sweep the floor.
Frankly, he's not qualified to shuffle, and barely so, to sweep.
Oddly enough, unions do have a means of ridding themselves of dead wood.
We may be seeing that in this regard.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: GOBUCKS on February 08, 2012, 09:14:49 PM
Someone has to wash the squad cars, and clean the latrines.
I think you've got it. If he's too fragile to shovel shit at the sewer plant, he sure as hell can't do street battle with obamites.

Of course, Chief Blubbering Blubber is one of the very few obamites in Bellevue.

Anyway, if he works in the police department he'll never be Barney. He'll be a cross between Gomer and Otis Campbell.

The accommodation committee sounds like Dunder-Mifflin's Party Planning Committee, except it pisses away tax money on drones like the Weeper.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 08, 2012, 09:18:20 PM
The accommodation committee... sounds like something from summer camp or OWS.  You know, a bunch of shitbricks playing at grown-up.

Actually, to me, it sounds like one of these stupid ADA (Americans With Disabilities Act) mandates.

If someone's disabled, they put him into a job that he can do.

Of course, one has to remember that Chief Bawling Bull is voluntarily disabled, of his own free will and his own doing.  If he'd drop 200 pounds, he wouldn't be disabled, and it'd probably cure up his back problem.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 09, 2012, 07:41:55 AM
Of course, one has to remember that Chief Bawling Bull is voluntarily disabled, of his own free will and his own doing.  If he'd drop 200 pounds, he wouldn't be disabled, and it'd probably cure up his back problem.

Not gonna happen, Coach--that would require the worst of all of the four-letter words to the primitives--

WORK.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Rebel on February 09, 2012, 07:44:25 AM
Question is, how is HIS fat ass going to pass the physical?
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 09, 2012, 07:49:59 AM
Question is, how is HIS fat ass going to pass the physical?

Actually, I'm glad you brought that up; I hadn't thought about it.

Some might vaguely recall a news story--I dunno, maybe four or five years ago, and it did get around the internet a lot--about a cop in Bellevue who was suing that city because they wanted to retire him.

He was a younger guy, and probably about 500 pounds, and couldn't meet the physical standards.

The case went on for years; as far as I know, it hasn't been resolved yet.

Up here on the roof of Nebraska, there's no such thing as a fat cop, but Omaha's a different matter.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 09, 2012, 07:57:44 AM
Okay, I went and nadined it, a quick job, so this was the best I could find:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2209431/posts

(http://i1056.photobucket.com/albums/t374/primitiveland/bigboy.jpg)

I dunno what's happened since then; I didn't want to nadin more.

Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Skul on February 09, 2012, 08:14:53 AM
Quote
Response to Omaha Steve (Original post)
Thu Feb 9, 2012, 07:40 AM
 w8liftinglady (21,965 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

15. Steve,I'll make a special bead in your honor. Good vibes,friend!
What!!  :rotf:
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Tucker on February 09, 2012, 08:28:31 AM
You know, if Omaha's Ed Norton does in fact become Omaha's Barney Fife, I hope to God that franksolich is the first person to whom he issues a traffic ticket.  I'd even do it on purpose, violate some little law, just for the honor of being ticketed by the big guy.

Really.


I don't believe that he will be given arrest powers. You have to graduate from a police academy.

Has to be the janitor.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on February 09, 2012, 08:59:21 AM
Someone has to wash the squad cars, and clean the latrines.



Yeah, with his track record of trying to scam his way onto the disability gravy train, his occupational health file could NEVER support him becoming an actual officer...it's some clerical or maintenance position for which he is marginally qualified.  Amusing thing is that if he ever does get his disability ship to come in, it will be based on the pay of the job he's in a the time, not his highest-paying gig.

 :-)
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: miskie on February 09, 2012, 09:35:18 AM
(http://cdn.media.abcfamily.com/a/images/image-util/250x295/5c89fad9f5a8f3bb0ff9b17f278ca05c.jpg)

No explanation needed.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: jukin on February 09, 2012, 11:26:54 AM
Quote
Response to Omaha Steve (Original post)
Thu Feb 9, 2012, 07:40 AM
 w8liftinglady (21,965 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

15. Steve,I'll make a special bead in your honor. Good vibes,friend!

I'll make steve a bead too, right after my second cup of coffee today.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Mike220 on February 09, 2012, 11:29:15 AM
The word "Trustee" comes to mind...
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Big Dog on February 09, 2012, 12:01:52 PM
15. Steve,I'll make a special bead in your honor. Good vibes,friend!

Weightlifting Lady is adding Chief Maudlin Manatee to her string of beads!

That should make somebody feel all tingly. (http://www.amazon.com/Super-Deluxe-Tapered-Beads-Collection/dp/B000MF6U1Q)
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Karin on February 09, 2012, 01:21:45 PM
Not to get off topic, but TAGS went from driving a '61 Galaxie to a '64.  Totally skipped the more desirable (and attractive) '63.  Bummer.

 :rofl:  The most trivial piece of trivia I've read all day!   :lmao:  I used to have a boss who knew every scrap of TAGS trivia; the staff bought him the board game.  Wonder if he knew that?  Bet he did. 

I'm picturing Big Chief Bawler as Otis; didn't Otis cry like a baby when Andy & Barney tried to trick him into thinking he died in a drunk driving accident?
(http://images.tvrage.com/screencaps/28/5574/173333.jpg)
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Airwolf on February 09, 2012, 01:22:55 PM
Ok so lets see what happenes if he gets a job handling records or whatever paper pushing job it could be. Anyone want to take bets on how long that job will lasy if he ever screws up and loses an important file to some case in the news? Omaha seems to have a lot of those lately. I'm gettin there would be "lots o splaining to do" by OmahaSteve.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: franksolich on February 09, 2012, 01:24:43 PM
Ok so lets see what happenes if he gets a job handling records or whatever paper pushing job it could be. Anyone want to take bets on how long that job will lasy if he ever screws up and loses an important file to some case in the news? Omaha seems to have a lot of those lately. I'm gettin there would be "lots o splaining to do" by OmahaSteve.

I take it you're not too confident about the big guy's ability to be competent.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Airwolf on February 09, 2012, 01:54:52 PM
I take it you're not too confident about the big guy's ability to be competent.

After reading his post at DU about how he thinks he can get back at people that are signing a petition against him running by sending junk mail to their addresses and he forgets that his name and address are public information then yes I'd say he is defiantly not MENSA material.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: GOBUCKS on February 09, 2012, 02:33:17 PM
Ok so lets see what happenes if he gets a job handling records or whatever paper pushing job it could be. Anyone want to take bets on how long that job will lasy if he ever screws up and loses an important file to some case in the news?

Aren't the uniformed desk jockeys in police departments still sworn officers?

If he works around a police department, he'll be pushing a broom or dragging a chamois across a cruiser.

And is a police department employee allowed to conduct a partisan political campaign?

Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 09, 2012, 02:35:22 PM
And is a police department employee allowed to conduct a partisan political campaign?

I thnk you're onto something there.  Maybe he's signaling that he's getting out, and he's going to blame the new job--and its' restrictions--for that action.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: miskie on February 09, 2012, 02:39:28 PM
After reading his post at DU about how he thinks he can get back at people that are signing a petition against him running by sending junk mail to their addresses and he forgets that his name and address are public information then yes I'd say he is defiantly not MENSA material.
Title: Re: Omaha's Ed Norton to change careers; to become a policeman
Post by: Ogre on February 09, 2012, 05:07:15 PM
I'll make steve a bead too, right after my second cup of coffee today.

Good one, I guess I've been making beads for DUmmies all this time without knowing it! :-)

H5