The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on January 25, 2012, 05:15:55 PM
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Earlier this week, JakeStyle posted a campfire from Skins's island, in which the watery primitive announced he was taking his fast to Albany, New York (the watery primitive, the H20 Man, was fasting in protest of "fracking" for oil in New York), and our colleague made the idle comment, "Apparently he is on tour."
For some reason--perhaps that it was early morning--that aside struck me as enormously hilarious, because of the "picture" those five modest words "drew."
I assume Jake was referring to something similar with a band on tour, but as rock musicians and concerts are outside of my observation and experience, I was seeing a different "picture"--that of the Mahatma primitive sitting on a flatbed trailer, attired in a Mahatma robe, silently contemplating his navel, while his publicist the Bostonian Drunkard, walking around the trailer, megaphone in hand and at his mouth, barked, "Step right up, folks, step right up to see the show, the greatest show on earth....."
(And then our colleague Big Dog a few minutes later improved on what I'd written, having the Bostonian Drunkard, in a striped suit and a straw hat, barking "See the amazing shrinking man. Watch him wither away right before your very eyes!")
I'm wondering to what extent this phenomenon occurs for other people, words painting pictures, or images; it happens to me all the time. When reading the campfires on Skins's island, it's almost the same as watching a show on television.
Perhaps the most brilliant, the most imaginative, the most colorful image I had of the primitives was back during the first month of conservativecave, January 2008, when our colleague Freeper brought over a campfire where the primitives were upset with Bela Pelosi and Scary Harry because they weren't on George Bush's case as much as the primitives thought they should be.
Freeper used the words "torches and pitchforks," and immediately I had a Hollywood blockbuster pop on the screen.
It was of George Bush, in a heavy old near-broken down farm wagon with wooden wheels and pulled by a crippled horse, running away from Bela and Scary sitting in a light carriage pulled by two horses, themselves running away from a whole posse of primitives mounted on horses, bearing torches and pitchforks.
This may be from some old horror movie; I dunno.
Anyway, as the wagon and carriage and horses rushed and careened through the woods and the mountains of Carpathia, something peculiar was happening in the "picture."
As one might guess, a cumbersome heavy old farm wagon is pretty slow; a light carriage is somewhat faster, and men on horseback are even faster than that. So the carriage should catch up with the wagon, and the horses should catch up with the carriage.
But that wasn't what I was "seeing," in this picture drawn by three simple words used by Freeper; I was seeing the old farm wagon outdistancing the carriage, and the horses getting further and further behind the carriage, as they all rumbled over rough and rocky terrain and through the trees.
It was colorful, the "picture" that the words "torches and pitchforks" drew.
Incidentally, this is the origin of "primitives" and "Skins's island," dating from sometime about the middle of 2006, at our old home. I had gone over there, and found a thread wherein the DUmmies were discussing the impeachment of then-vice president Richard Cheney.
The inspiration came like a flash, almost as if directly from God; I felt as if I were an explorer on a jungle-infested island, lost, and suddenly crashing into a clearing where primitives were sitting around a campfire, passing around voodoo dolls and commenting upon them.
(The voodoo dolls were the primitive perceptions of Richard Cheney.)
Given the propensity of the primitives to uglify themselves, to mutilate themselves, to tattoo themselves, to wear ostentatious ornamentry, to cackle-and-gackle, to wiggle-waggle their armpits at each other; their rituals and ceremonies, it was actually a pretty easy picture to pop up, the DUmmies as primitives on a tiny faraway remote isolated island far removed from the rest of the world.
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I can't say I paint that vivid of a picture, but images of how miserable and destitute they are do come into focus when I read their non-sense.
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I can't say I paint that vivid of a picture, but images of how miserable and destitute they are do come into focus when I read their non-sense.
That too; "pictures" of wet cold shivering itching miserable savages cursing the gods of the skies and of the climate and of the insects when they're sitting around in the jungle feeling sorry for themselves.
Or of a rampaging faceless lynch mob where no one primitive stands out, during their hatefests.
Or of primitives obsequiously bowing before one of their grand pooh-bahs walking in their midst.
The only non-primitive "picture" I get is that of Lucy with the football, which is a cartoon.
For me, they're all very vivid images, full of color and depth and movement.
It is very much like watching television or a movie.
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That too; "pictures" of wet cold shivering itching miserable savages cursing the gods of the skies and of the climate and of the insects when they're sitting around in the jungle feeling sorry for themselves.
Or of a rampaging faceless lynch mob where no one primitive stands out, during their hatefests.
Or of primitives obsequiously bowing before one of their grand pooh-bahs walking in their midst.
The only non-primitive "picture" I get is that of Lucy with the football, which is a cartoon.
For me, they're all very vivid images, full of color and depth and movement.
It is very much like watching television or a movie.
My DUmmie managerie is populated with franksolich word pictures. Thanks!
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I always picture them sitting around pulling nits off each other.
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I see them with a pierced eyebrow, a bone in their nose that makes me want to say, "You need to pick your nose" and a stud in their tongue that makes them talk like Bonnie Fwank. ...and a thought bubble over their head that says, "I don't know why I can't get a job, I'm one of the smartest people I know."
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I always picture them sitting around pulling nits off each other.
is :racista: ?
:thinking:
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is :racista: ?
:thinking:
Remember that the primitives are 98.7% or something, of European derivation.
I have no problem seeing them, in their lily-white skin, as primitives.
And what JohnnyReb said, above; given the propensity of the primitives to puncture themselves, to tattoo themselves, to go around with baubles hanging from their noses and ears and chins down to their you-know-whats, it's easy to see them that way.