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Current Events => The DUmpster => The DUmping Ground => Topic started by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 04:24:03 AM

Title: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 04:24:03 AM
The Willie award, now in its third year, is given the DUmmie notable for enhancing the good name and reputation of democraticunderground.  Previous winners were TomInTib in 2009, and a tie between William Pitt and BouncyBall in 2010.

There were 23 names on the ballot for the Willie this year, most of them credible candidates who sought to make democraticunderground famous far and wide, but the final winner was a runaway.

Since the winner of the Willie is also a Top DUmmie for 2011, the Willie will be awarded with that.

The newbie award, in its first year, is given the DUmmie who’s never been recognized in the Top DUmmies of any year.  There were 10 candidates on the ballot, and it was a razor-thin vote.

The winner of the newbie for 2011 is fire_walk_with_me, prominent in the “occupy” threads on democraticunderground, hinting that he was a leader, a guide, a force, a spokesman, in the [bowel] movement, with sonorous pronouncements such as “…..the occupation of the ports is hereby extended…..”

However, it didn’t appear that he could get his lazy ass out of bed to occupy anything other than the commode, proving himself another one of those primitives who yak but don’t do.

Quote
Fire Walk With Me (30,602 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

11. As much as I want to participate and document this

my disabled ass isn't likely to get out of bed at anywhere near that time of the morning

The broken elbow award, in its first year, is given the DUmmie most notorious for whining, crying, bawling, self-pitying, complaining, throwing hissy fits, and general overall moaning and groaning.

There were 16 names on the ballot for the broken elbow, the second very narrow race, and the winner is bobbolink.

Now, just about everybody under the sun knows of bobbolink and the 1986 Buick, and so it’s difficult to write anything new about her.

Her most notable accomplishment, as explained in her being awarded #04 top DUmmie last year:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,53273.0.html

Quote
The bobbling primitive created a Great Discombobulation, perhaps the biggest of all of 2010, on Skins's island, by getting the boring and tedious Bostonian Drunkard thrown off.  One then hoped the Bostonian Drunkard would drown, or something, on his swimming towards another island, but alas, that was not to be, as my fellow alum relented some weeks later, letting the soggy Bostonian Drunkard crawl back ashore.

And upon her being awarded #02 top DUmmie in 2009:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38470.0.html

If one’s not confident one understands bobbolink, allow undergroundpanther to explain her:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,47517.0.html

bobbolink was also #12 top DUmmie of 2008, and winner of the Annie in 2010, a distinction she shared with Alan Grayson that year.

The golden bong, also in its first year, is given the DUmmie who told the best bouncy, or bouncies, during the course of 2011.

There were 12 candidates on the ballot, all but a couple of them credible, but the final winner, as with the Willie, was a runaway, not even close.

Since the winner of the golden bong is also a Top DUmmie for 2011, the golden bong will be awarded with that.

next up: December 26, top primitives #10 and #09
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 25, 2011, 06:41:16 AM
I, for one, am eagerly awaiting the Top DUmmies. :drool: :yahoo:
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 06:47:55 AM
I, for one, am eagerly awaiting the Top DUmmies. :drool: :yahoo:

I didn't do so good on this; I had hoped to give the fiery primitive some grief, but there's a problem with "searching" that name here.

As God knows, the DUmpster's practically a Library of Congress, when it comes to Skins's island, there's so much stuff here.  If looking for a particular primitive, sometimes one has to plough through tons of slag to get those few pounds of coal.

LC EFA kindly helped me, but by that time it was too late.

Anyway, I finally discerned a minor good reason--minor, but a good reason--for re-baptizing primitives who use stupid screen-names; they're a lot easier to find if one "searches" the names franksolich has christened them.

I'm sure everybody's going to enjoy top primitives #10 and #09 when they come out tomorrow, Monday, probably one in the morning and one in the evening--it depends on real life here--as those two were pieces of cake to research.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Tucker on December 25, 2011, 08:27:47 AM
I can see the writing on the wall.

The best bouncy was in fact a true story.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Ballygrl on December 25, 2011, 09:21:43 AM
Congrats to the winners! and it doesn't look like Dreamer Tatum won the Golden Bouncy! :banghead:
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Boudicca on December 25, 2011, 09:37:18 AM
Congrats to the winners! and it doesn't look like Dreamer Tatum won the Golden Bouncy! :banghead:

I know the feeling :banghead:  We should have dug up a few illegals or deceased DUmmies to vote for him too.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Ballygrl on December 25, 2011, 10:33:19 AM
I know the feeling :banghead:  We should have dug up a few illegals or deceased DUmmies to vote for him too.

Our own version of ACORN Allied Cavers Overthrowing Rotten Nominees! :-)
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 10:50:03 AM
Our own version of ACORN Allied Cavers Overthrowing Rotten Nominees! :-)

Hmmmm.

You don't mean to tell me I'm not the only one disappointed in the way the voting went?

That aside, this award (of the four awards) is a really too-condensed piece, and not a very good one at that, I think.

There's four special awards, and I could barely churn out half a dozen paragraphs.

Three reasons:

Two of the awards are going to two primitives who won places in the Top Ten, and no point in duplicating information, in both their special awards and their top primitivity awards.

Everybody's so familiar with the winner of the broken elbow, there wasn't any point in re-re-re-describing bobbolink again and again and again.

That left the fiery primitive, and I had hoped to make a composition about him.

But oops, that "search" thing couldn't pull him up without pulling up pages of non-related stuff.

So.....
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Ballygrl on December 25, 2011, 11:57:28 AM
Hmmmm.

You don't mean to tell me I'm not the only one disappointed in the way the voting went?

That aside, this award (of the four awards) is a really too-condensed piece, and not a very good one at that, I think.

There's four special awards, and I could barely churn out half a dozen paragraphs.

Three reasons:

Two of the awards are going to two primitives who won places in the Top Ten, and no point in duplicating information, in both their special awards and their top primitivity awards.

Everybody's so familiar with the winner of the broken elbow, there wasn't any point in re-re-re-describing bobbolink again and again and again.

That left the fiery primitive, and I had hoped to make a composition about him.

But oops, that "search" thing couldn't pull him up without pulling up pages of non-related stuff.

So.....

I'm being selfish, Dreamer Tatum had a soda spewing on the monitor Bouncy parodying a Bouncy.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 12:00:50 PM
I'm being selfish, Dreamer Tatum had a soda spewing on the monitor Bouncy parodying a Bouncy.

Well, what makes you think Dream Tatum didn't win both the golden bong and one of the top ten primitive spots?
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Ballygrl on December 25, 2011, 01:51:36 PM
Well, what makes you think Dream Tatum didn't win both the golden bong and one of the top ten primitive spots?

I hope so, but Dreamer Tatum is 1 of the few over there with common sense, no way could he be in the Top 10 for the DOTY.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: thundley4 on December 25, 2011, 05:02:41 PM
I hope so, but Dreamer Tatum is 1 of the few over there with common sense, no way could he be in the Top 10 for the DOTY.

I've wondered if Dreamer Tatum isn't one of the greatest of "mole-trolls".
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Charles Henrickson on December 25, 2011, 06:48:45 PM
The broken elbow award, in its first year, is given the DUmmie most notorious for whining, crying, bawling, self-pitying, complaining, throwing hissy fits, and general overall moaning and groaning.  There were 16 names on the ballot for the broken elbow, the second very narrow race, and the winner is bobbolink.

(http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5165/5723871993_6fb7ec9f6d.jpg)

I thought Bobo the Hobo was a better candidate for this award (and for Top DUmmie) in 2010, rather than in 2011. I think she's had an off year this year, compared to her spectacular run last year. But sometimes these awards--like All-Star voting and Gold Gloves--go more on past reputation than on current accomplishments.

I'm not sure, but I think I voted for Cyrano for the Broken Elbow. I hope he at least finished in the top two or three. And I like how our Cave-dweller Revolution recently redubbed Cyrano, as "Cryano."
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Charles Henrickson on December 25, 2011, 06:50:53 PM
Whoa! I just made 150 posts! Do I win a prize? A toaster or something?
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Boudicca on December 25, 2011, 06:54:09 PM
Our own version of ACORN Allied Cavers Overthrowing Rotten Nominees! :-)

 :rofl: :hi5:
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 25, 2011, 07:57:54 PM
If she were a DUmmy, SCTV's Connie Franklin would be a Broken Elbow shoo-in.
DUmbasses like Straight Story remind me of her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR4Kk5RT_Kg
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 08:55:52 PM
Whoa! I just made 150 posts! Do I win a prize? A toaster or something?

Admittedly, this was a down year for the bobbling primitive, but the Willie spans all years, not just the past year, of Skins's island since its inception; this is a case where one's supposed to take long ago past performance into consideration too.

As for Oscar Wilde, the large-proboscised primitive Cryano, I've dumped my fellow Nebraskan and for 2012 will be Oscar Wilde's campaign manager instead, for reasons which will become obvious as the top primitives unfold.

There will be two new special awards next year--I'm thinking of dumping the newbie, just as the Annie had been dumped after one year--the "foot-in-the-mouth" award, for cases such as the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive getting fired from her job, and the "laughingstock of the internet" award, inspired by the generalissimo dude.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Tucker on December 25, 2011, 09:21:43 PM
Admittedly, this was a down year for the bobbling primitive, but the Willie spans all years, not just the past year, of Skins's island since its inception; this is a case where one's supposed to take long ago past performance into consideration too.

As for Oscar Wilde, the large-proboscised primitive Cryano, I've dumped my fellow Nebraskan and for 2012 will be Oscar Wilde's campaign manager instead, for reasons which will become obvious as the top primitives unfold.

There will be two new special awards next year--I'm thinking of dumping the newbie, just as the Annie had been dumped after one year--the "foot-in-the-mouth" award, for cases such as the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive getting fired from her job, and the "laughingstock of the internet" award, inspired by the generalissimo dude.

I'd love to see a "sad to see you go" award for the DUmmy that got TSed that you wished that didn't happen.

HannaBell comes to mind.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 25, 2011, 09:57:37 PM
I'd love to see a "sad to see you go" award for the DUmmy that got TSed that you wished that didn't happen.

HannahBell comes to mind.

Other than the main part--the top twenty primitives and especially the top ten primitives--the rest of the annual contest is always under evolution.  The core of it remains as it's always been; it alters only around the edges.

There'll always be the top ten, or top twenty, primitives, but the special awards, not necessarily so.

By the way, I'd promised top primitive #10 in the morning on Monday, and top primitive #09 around suppertime on Monday; real life has interfered, and both will show up sometime around or after suppertime Monday--but still on Monday, as originally scheduled.

I think the voters will like top primitive #10 and top primitive #09 very much.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 25, 2011, 10:00:50 PM
There will be two new special awards next year--I'm thinking of dumping the newbie, just as the Annie had been dumped after one year--the "foot-in-the-mouth" award, for cases such as the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive getting fired from her job, and the "laughingstock of the internet" award, inspired by the generalissimo dude.
The "foot-in-mouth" award could be named the Walldude Memorial Trophy. It should be offered to any DUmmy who manages to lose a job due to his stupidity at the DUmp, or maybe to any DUmmy who gets himself fired because of his moonbat politics. It should be awarded to any DUmmy who qualifies, even if there are two, or three, or more.

The promise of a major award might be just the incentive a wavering DUmbass needs to finally stick it to the man.  

The CalPig could probably be persuaded to to pay for the trophy hardware. She has a soft spot in her heart for us.
I think that's where the aching seed used to be.

The laughingstock award should have been established, then retired years ago, to the permanent possession of the hopelessly unemployable alcoholic Pitt.

It's unlikely anyone will ever approach the level of humiliation he's brought onto himself, from midnight cowboy, to fire ants, to the bootheel cat, to twenty-four business hours, to the seduction of Kevin Spacey.

Pitt is the Babe Ruth of internet derision, a legendary figure.

Maybe the first laughingstock award could allow consideration of previous years' accomplishments, or maybe call it the Will Pitt Award.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Boudicca on December 25, 2011, 10:38:56 PM
The "foot-in-mouth" award could be named the Walldude Memorial Trophy. It should be offered to any DUmmy who manages to lose a job due to his stupidity at the DUmp, or maybe to any DUmmy who gets himself fired because of his moonbat politics. It should be awarded to any DUmmy who qualifies, even if there are two, or three, or more.

The promise of a major award might be just the incentive a wavering DUmbass needs to finally stick it to the man.  

The CalPig could probably be persuaded to to pay for the trophy hardware. She has a soft spot in her heart for us.
I think that's where the aching seed used to be.

The laughingstock award should have been established, then retired years ago, to the permanent possession of the hopelessly unemployable alcoholic Pitt.

It's unlikely anyone will ever approach the level of humiliation he's brought onto himself, from midnight cowboy, to fire ants, to the bootheel cat, to twenty-four business hours, to the seduction of Kevin Spacey.

Pitt is the Babe Ruth of internet derision, a legendary figure.

Maybe the first laughingstock award could allow consideration of previous years' accomplishments, or maybe call it the Will Pitt Award.

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
To all of your post, especially perhaps the aching seed.

What was the bootheel cat and the midnight cowboy all about tho?  If you don't mind me asking.


Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: whiffleball on December 26, 2011, 06:34:13 AM
Many congrats to the deserving winners!  I'm especially pleased to see my nominee take his place in the annals of history with the Newbie award.  Since he's 'disabled' who accepts on his behalf?   I'm sure he can't drag himself across the stage even for this kind of prestige.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 26, 2011, 02:40:27 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
To all of your post, especially perhaps the aching seed.

What was the bootheel cat and the midnight cowboy all about tho?  If you don't mind me asking.
Re "bootheel cat", just looking for a shorthand term referring to Pitt's drunken rant threatening coach's life after the timely, but only alleged, demise of the round, red sodomite: 
Quote
I am going to grind you under my bootheel, scrape you off with a blade, and feed you to my cat.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4049596&mesg_id=4049596

"Midnight Cowboy" refers to the photo Pitt posted of himself before he travelled from Boston to the ditch witch's rally in a roadside drainage ditch near W's ranch in Crawford.

Since it was Texas, Pitt figured he had to blend in. The photo showed him in a costume like a TV cowboy, coal black from head to toe.

He looked like a drunken version of Palladin, on his way to trick-or-treat.

The solid black outfit was especially appropriate since it was August in East Texas, where you could fry an egg on the blacktop.

Pitt topped off the humiliation in Crawford, attempting to get relief from the heat by sitting in the shade of a tree, on a fire ant nest.

That photo has been posted here a dozen times, but I can't find it now.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: JakeStyle on December 26, 2011, 02:45:45 PM
Link to WillPitt in his midnight cowboy attire (http://www.google.com/imgres?q=will+pitt+cowboy&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=Kqx&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=1025&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=Hc4zYo1-H6G9cM:&imgrefurl=http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1985350/posts&docid=K0UQBtaR4XcNpM&imgurl=http://i16.tinypic.com/4cj0jgx.jpg&w=384&h=288&ei=N934TsvkAuiaiAKMqemPDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=361&vpy=154&dur=413&hovh=179&hovw=239&tx=156&ty=123&sig=116067218244707531874&page=1&tbnh=128&tbnw=173&start=0&ndsp=65&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0)
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: delilahmused on December 26, 2011, 03:22:56 PM
Whoa! I just made 150 posts! Do I win a prize? A toaster or something?

How about a H5!

Cindie
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: notaDUmmie on December 26, 2011, 03:25:22 PM
Well, I voted for both of these DUmmies for these awards, so I'm very happy with the outcomes so far.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 26, 2011, 03:27:25 PM
Link to WillPitt in his midnight cowboy attire (http://www.google.com/imgres?q=will+pitt+cowboy&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=Kqx&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=1025&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=Hc4zYo1-H6G9cM:&imgrefurl=http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1985350/posts&docid=K0UQBtaR4XcNpM&imgurl=http://i16.tinypic.com/4cj0jgx.jpg&w=384&h=288&ei=N934TsvkAuiaiAKMqemPDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=361&vpy=154&dur=413&hovh=179&hovw=239&tx=156&ty=123&sig=116067218244707531874&page=1&tbnh=128&tbnw=173&start=0&ndsp=65&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0)
It seems to me at one time there was a full-length photo of Pitt in his Midnight Cowboy costume.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: LC EFA on December 26, 2011, 03:54:03 PM
Link to WillPitt in his midnight cowboy attire (http://www.google.com/imgres?q=will+pitt+cowboy&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=Kqx&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=1025&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=Hc4zYo1-H6G9cM:&imgrefurl=http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1985350/posts&docid=K0UQBtaR4XcNpM&imgurl=http://i16.tinypic.com/4cj0jgx.jpg&w=384&h=288&ei=N934TsvkAuiaiAKMqemPDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=361&vpy=154&dur=413&hovh=179&hovw=239&tx=156&ty=123&sig=116067218244707531874&page=1&tbnh=128&tbnw=173&start=0&ndsp=65&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0)

You need to put a warning on posts like that man !
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Ogre on December 26, 2011, 04:03:08 PM
Link to WillPitt in his midnight cowboy attire (http://www.google.com/imgres?q=will+pitt+cowboy&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=Kqx&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1920&bih=1025&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=Hc4zYo1-H6G9cM:&imgrefurl=http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1985350/posts&docid=K0UQBtaR4XcNpM&imgurl=http://i16.tinypic.com/4cj0jgx.jpg&w=384&h=288&ei=N934TsvkAuiaiAKMqemPDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=361&vpy=154&dur=413&hovh=179&hovw=239&tx=156&ty=123&sig=116067218244707531874&page=1&tbnh=128&tbnw=173&start=0&ndsp=65&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0)
Whoa, drunken blow-hard meets L.L. Bean, kinda of has a "Bostonback Mountain" thing going on.  :rotf:
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Tucker on December 26, 2011, 04:04:56 PM
It seems to me at one time there was a full-length photo of Pitt in his Midnight Cowboy costume.


I recall the DUFU pic with Will in a Buddha pose. I don't remember another full view.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 26, 2011, 04:28:43 PM

I recall the DUFU pic with Will in a Buddha pose. I don't remember another full view.

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/pitt3.jpg)

Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Tucker on December 26, 2011, 04:47:52 PM
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/pitt3.jpg)



That's it.

Thanks.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: zeitgeist on December 26, 2011, 04:57:24 PM
Whoa! I just made 150 posts! Do I win a prize? A toaster or something?

In this economy the best you can hope for probably is a visit from:

(http://blog.pch.com/wp-content/uploads/pch/6a00e55365770488330133ecbd4676970b-pi.jpg)

 :whistling:

ETA : I always thought the best Wee Willie pictures were from a Camp Casey thread at the dump. 
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Boudicca on December 26, 2011, 05:25:33 PM
Re "bootheel cat", just looking for a shorthand term referring to Pitt's drunken rant threatening coach's life after the timely, but only alleged, demise of the round, red sodomite:  http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4049596&mesg_id=4049596

"Midnight Cowboy" refers to the photo Pitt posted of himself before he travelled from Boston to the ditch witch's rally in a roadside drainage ditch near W's ranch in Crawford.

Since it was Texas, Pitt figured he had to blend in. The photo showed him in a costume like a TV cowboy, coal black from head to toe.

He looked like a drunken version of Palladin, on his way to trick-or-treat.

The solid black outfit was especially appropriate since it was August in East Texas, where you could fry an egg on the blacktop.

Pitt topped off the humiliation in Crawford, attempting to get relief from the heat by sitting in the shade of a tree, on a fire ant nest.

That photo has been posted here a dozen times, but I can't find it now.

Thanks for the explanation, GOBUCKS.
Kinda sorry I asked, and made everyone relive the unpleasantness that is the Pittstain though.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: franksolich on December 26, 2011, 05:53:51 PM
Thanks for the explanation, GOBUCKS.
Kinda sorry I asked, and made everyone relive the unpleasantness that is the Pittstain though.

You're supposed to ask, if you have a question, madam.

Always feel free to ask away.
Title: Re: special awards for the Top DUmmies of 2011
Post by: Boudicca on December 26, 2011, 06:03:47 PM
You're supposed to ask, if you have a question, madam.

Always feel free to ask away.

Thanks, frank.
Youall know what's truly sad is that this Pitt person is an internet wide laughingstock, his posts on DUmmyville get little feedback and less love, and yet he trudges onwards and downwards.  Leaving aside the fact that he couldn't fit on a brokeback nag let alone one of the cavalry mounts, he's like the Charge of the Light Brigade all rolled into one pudgy package, attacking a vastly superior foe.