The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: shadeaux on December 22, 2011, 11:11:29 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/101815115
Taverner (47,415 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
If I am getting a divorce, what will I tell the kids?
Seriously...
I wonder if she finally saw his swanky unbuttoned pants and shirt on the top of the stairs picture ? If that ain't grounds for divorce I don't know what is.
I guess he'll be wide open drunk posting now. This will be good. :-)
riderinthestorm (7,387 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
12. I'm a child of divorced parents when I was 10 yrs old
No acrimony but PLENTY of bitter nuance and hideousness in my situation - it's really easy to poison the well even with the best intentions of NOT doing so.... I have no words of wisdom here. As an adult I sympathize and empathize with you. Your children however will take it hard no matter what you do, no matter how sensitive you are. Prepare yourself for this. You can tell your children (til forever) that it has nothing to do with them but they will never believe it.
Nor should they.
Children introduce a whole new level into any relationship/marriage. To pretend that children don't "matter" or aren't a part of the marriage equation is naive. At 10 years old, I already knew and understood that my existence (and those of my siblings) was a serious part of my parents' problems. Unless your situation revolves around really "grown up" issues like sexual dysfunction, addiction, molestation, or cheating and instead its the whole mundane lot of grievances that DOES impact them like money, time, values differences, general malaise, etc then it's a whole different kettle of fish.
There are no facile answers here. If Id been told clearly, that my parents were divorcing because my father was ****ing my sisters, I'd have been a whole lot healthier, a whole lot earlier, than I was. Even at 10 years old. Lies matter at any age. Trying to gloss over serious family issues won't work either. Discovering family lies years later is a problem. A big one. Worse than discovering your parents lied about Santa (my oldest was PISSED for at least a couple of years, seriously pissed at me for lying. No joke).
You are being deliberately cagey in your OP. I'm irritated to say the least. At least own up to what's going on if you are going to post such an OP asking for advice. Your children deserve ever so much more than ridiculous (lying) backstroking from you. They need you to be. there. for. them.
::) TMI. For real. But I like the last paragraph. He does lie a lot. If he's playing because he's bored, this little mention of divorce may get him banned. He could just be drugged out feeling sorry for himself. We'll see.
:popcorn:
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Taverner (47,415 posts)
If I am getting a divorce, what will I tell the kids?
Show them your DU posts.
They'll understand.
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DUmmy Taverner is a self-admitted intravenous drug addict.
Junkies like Taverner are not the most reliable people around, though they're barely below average at the DUmp.
You can be certain that any situation he describes is pure fiction.
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Well, divorce sucks, especially when there are children involved. I expect that we are going to see some really extra-deranged posts from Taverner as this develops.
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Whaddaya wanna bet that she gave him an ultimatum: either the drugs go, or me and the kids do...
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Whaddaya wanna bet that she gave him an ultimatum: either the drugs go, or me and the kids do...
That and the fact that he is apparently unable to find gainful employment. I have to wonder why she waited so long to leave his sorry ass.
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Whaddaya wanna bet that she gave him an ultimatum: either the drugs go, or me and the kids do...
While reading that thread, I was picturing an episode of "Intervention". I hope I am right, he needs help.
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Taverner (47,415 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
If I am getting a divorce, what will I tell the kids?
Seriously...
That mommy won't be getting any child support checks, and on the very slim chance they'll ever want to see you, you'll be living in a van down by the river?
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It's Bushs fault ::)
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I think of the kids from this union and I hear Hank Williams jr. in the back ground singing, "If I get drunk and party all night long, it's a ...family tradition....."
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either the drugs go, or me and the kids do...
I think DefiantSix is absolutely right. This behavior is ridiculous for a husband and father. He cannot provide for this family, because every reputable, stable company requires drug tests (their insurance company insists), and they require you to show up and actually work. He is unable. So, he sits around and dreams that Communism will save him, and hopes that the U.S. turns on a dime and becomes a Stalinist hellhole. Each day he comes to, and that hasn't happened, and more and more people are determined that it will not happen.
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It's Bushs fault ::)
This is a really dumb shit. I bet the kids knew this was coming 6 months before he did.
Unfortunately for him and society I bet the kids have 6-7 friends that live in a single parent family. Dad raising the kids or Mom doing so.
Few kids reach majority without a step parent. Perhaps the kids are happier with this situation, no more being awaken by parents breaking things and yelling at each other. No more seeing Mom with black eyes. No more seeing their Dad emasculated by their Mother.
Nothing one can tell a child about a break up of the family, they know and may welcome it.
Get the parents apart and perhaps the kids can continue to be kids, spend time with both parents and enjoy that time.
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Taverner (47,415 posts)
If I am getting a divorce, what will I tell the kids?
Nothing.
Your soon to be ex has already informed the kids that you're not the father.
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"Kids, Mommy grew up. She isn't one of us anymore."
:hammer:
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I would explain to them that this is what happens when drugs become the most important thing in your life. Mommies don't like it when they play second fiddle to a drug dealer.
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That mommy won't be getting any child support checks, and on the very slim chance they'll ever want to see you, you'll be living in a van down by the river?
Maybe he can share the back seat of the Buick with Bobo?? From each according to their ability, and all that... :loser:
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It's gets old fast when you have to babysit an adult. All he ever talks about are drugs, liquor and music.
Tav has crazy eyes. His old girl shoulda knowed better. :-)
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It's gets old fast when you have to babysit an adult. All he ever talks about are drugs, liquor and music.
Tav has crazy eyes. His old girl shoulda knowed better.
He's also an expert on education policy.
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I think he spent some time in Thailand or somewhere like that. His kids have "exotic" eyes. My theory is that his wife was an import-bride; and after all these years she acquired some girlfriends who told her "it doesn't really have to be like this, you know."
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I think he spent some time in Thailand or somewhere like that. His kids have "exotic" eyes. My theory is that his wife was an import-bride; and after all these years she acquired some girlfriends who told her "it doesn't really have to be like this, you know."
Or she finally got her US citizenship. :-)
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I think DefiantSix is absolutely right. This behavior is ridiculous for a husband and father. He cannot provide for this family, because every reputable, stable company requires drug tests (their insurance company insists), and they require you to show up and actually work. He is unable. So, he sits around and dreams that Communism will save him, and hopes that the U.S. turns on a dime and becomes a Stalinist hellhole. Each day he comes to, and that hasn't happened, and more and more people are determined that it will not happen.
Under communism he would be forced to work. At a job of the government's choosing. At a salary of the government's choosing. At whatever hours the government deems necessary. Why these guys all think they can sit around on their asses when the government controls everything is beyond me. ****ing idiots.
Cindie
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He has yet to reply to the divorce thread. He instead spent time today cutting a tune. :whatever:
:loser:
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Hmmm. How many times has Taverner opened threads scamming for DUmmy women? After everything else revealed in this thread, he can't even stay faithful to the family paycheck. Kinda like John Kerry.
I've seen his type before. The wife works and support him, while he keeps her in line with verbal or physical abuse.
Thats his lifestyle. He can't keep a job long enough to get on the disability gravy train, so this is the next best thing.
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There are no facile answers here.
What in the...?? Who the hell talks like this?
If Id been told clearly, that my parents were divorcing because my father was ****ing my sisters, I'd have been a whole lot healthier, a whole lot earlier, than I was. Even at 10 years old. Lies matter at any age. Trying to gloss over serious family issues won't work either. Discovering family lies years later is a problem. A big one. Worse than discovering your parents lied about Santa (my oldest was PISSED for at least a couple of years, seriously pissed at me for lying. No joke).
Discovering that your father is a total should-be-dead-POS-loser-child-rapist is worse than discovering your parents lied about Santa? Well now that you mention it, and I consider it for a while, I guess it would be wouldn't it?
Wow and WOW. :mental:
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How about "You will be much better off without my mental disease infecting your lives. I'm sorry I didn't leave sooner."
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Taverner (47,415 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
If I am getting a divorce, what will I tell the kids?
Seriously...
How about the thruth, you love drugs more than your children. Congrats to Mrs. Taverner, finally figured out that he will never change.
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This is a really dumb shit. I bet the kids knew this was coming 6 months before he did.
Unfortunately for him and society I bet the kids have 6-7 friends that live in a single parent family. Dad raising the kids or Mom doing so.
Few kids reach majority without a step parent. Perhaps the kids are happier with this situation, no more being awaken by parents breaking things and yelling at each other. No more seeing Mom with black eyes. No more seeing their Dad emasculated by their Mother.
Nothing one can tell a child about a break up of the family, they know and may welcome it.
Get the parents apart and perhaps the kids can continue to be kids, spend time with both parents and enjoy that time.
I think divorce is way over used and wrongly justified in the majority of the cases. Unfortunately children pay the price and more so than if the union was preserved.
I know once out you can't put the genie back in the bottle but Instead of Divorce being the first option considered( I bet in the majority of cases this is true) it shouldn't be an option at all. Once considered it makes all other options all the harder to achieve because it keeps returning to the forefront of options. It's a poison pill.
It's to the point now that divorce instead of the perceived sign of failure it's more a badge of Honor.
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The simple fact of the matter is that the world would be better off with Taverner dead. Losing his wife and children is as close as anyone can get to implementing the first-best outcome. The idea that everyone has value is fiction - Taverner is an unemployable drug addict who spends all of his time posting on a political website. He's a loser - he's CHOSEN to be a loser.
Taverner: kill yourself. We will all be better off, especially your kids, who are already larded with the shame of you as a father.
Sorry to sound harsh, but this is reality we're talking about. Go and die, Taverner.
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The simple fact of the matter is that the world would be better off with Taverner dead. Losing his wife and children is as close as anyone can get to implementing the first-best outcome. The idea that everyone has value is fiction - Taverner is an unemployable drug addict who spends all of his time posting on a political website. He's a loser - he's CHOSEN to be a loser.
Taverner: kill yourself. We will all be better off, especially your kids, who are already larded with the shame of you as a father.
Sorry to sound harsh, but this is reality we're talking about. Go and die, Taverner.
You know, sir, I'm a nice guy, one of the nicest guys one can ever hope to meet, but I second those sentiments.