The Conservative Cave

The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: thundley4 on December 18, 2011, 08:35:03 PM

Title: Californian to Texas translation.
Post by: thundley4 on December 18, 2011, 08:35:03 PM
Due to the large number of jobs moving from California to Texas

Texas has compiled a "Californian to Texan" translation guide

CALIFORNIA    TEXAS

Arsenal of Weapons   -  Gun Collection

Delicate Wetlands     - Swamp

Undocumented Worker   - Illegal Alien

Cruelty-Free Materials    - Synthetic Fiber

Assault and Battery   -  Attitude Adjustment

Heavily Armed    - Well protected

Narrow-minded   -  Righteous

Taxes or Your Fair Share   - Coerced Theft

Commonsense Gun Control   -  Gun Confiscation Plot

Illegal Hazardous Explosive  - Fireworks for Stump Removal

Nonviable Tissue Mass   -  Unborn Baby

Equal Access to Opportunity   -  Socialism

Multicultural Community    - High Crime Area

Fairness or Social Progress   -  Marxism

Upper Class or "The Rich "   -  Self-Employed

Progressive, Change   -  Big Government Scheme

Homeless or Disadvantaged    - Bums or Welfare Leeches

Sniper Rifle    - Scoped Deer Rifle

Investment For the Future   -  Higher Taxes

Healthcare Reform   - Socialized Medicine

Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater -  Conservative

Truants   -  Homeschoolers

Victim or Oppressed   - Criminal or Lazy Good-For Nothing

High Capacity Magazine    - Standard Capacity Magazine

Religious Zealot   -  Church-going

Reintroduced Wolves    - Sheep and Deer Killers

Fair Trade Coffee    - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

Exploiters or "The Rich "   - Employed or Land Owner

The Gun Lobby   -  NRA Members

Assault Weapon   -  Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)

Fiscal Stimulus    - New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Title: Re: Californian to Texas translation.
Post by: Odin's Hand on December 18, 2011, 08:45:35 PM
Funny and true.