The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: FlippyDoo on December 10, 2011, 09:05:59 PM
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After sayings nads...uh..."success" with reporting I decided to try my hand at it. As a fictional spirit guide I have some tricks up my sleeves that normal reporters do not. With that in mind I decided to start the Flippy Future News Gazette. The FFNG will report on things that have not yet happened. Below is my first report.
A Poor protest at the port
(Reporting by FlippyDoo)
There was a slight disturbance today at the San Diego ports that was apparently caused by a possibly mentally challenged female with a trash bag full of hats. While a large group of 4 hippies were also lounging around the site and impeding workers attempting to preform their jobs, it was the "hat lady" that seemed to draw everyone's attention.
One of the dockworkers, Meathook Jones, said that he had never seen anything like it.
"The 4 hippies were smelling up the place and getting in the way, but it was the lady with the trash bag full of hats that was mind blowing," Meathook said. "She showed up with that trash bag full of hats and was telling everyone about trends and scripts. I guess she was also pissed off because she couldn't solve Rubic's Cube because she was going on about Rubic's con."
Another dockworker who simply referred to himself as 'Freddie' agreed with Meathook's assessment.
"Yeah, she seemed to be a bossy one that trashbag hat woman," Freddie remarked. "I'll tell you, though, it was when she pulled her little electronic tablet out of the trash bag that things really got ugly. She was garbling sentences and misspelling words. She misspelled the word 'if'! It's a word with only two letters. How do you misspell a word with two letters? It was scary. Horrible. All I could think was 'Oh, the humanity!' Then, get this, she demanded that when she was done that we had best be prepared to ready it because readying it will be educational. Ready it?!? Ready what? I'll tell you now that the only 'readying' that I was doing was getting 'ready' to get away from the trashbag hat language slayer and her stink-fest quartet of hippies."
The stink-fest quartet of hippies, as Freddie referred to them, quickly left when they found that there was nothing of value that they would be allowed to claim as their own. The female with the trash bag full of hats led the way while wearing a Pied Piper looking hat and singing "We Shall Over Gum"
No one at the scene had ever heard of the "We Shall Over Gum" song. After much discussion among the dockworkers and this humble reporter we agreed that the trash bag hat lady was possibly confused and had intended to sing "We Shall Over Come."
More will be reported as new details arise.
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There was a slight disturbance today at the San Diego ports that was apparently caused by a possibly mentally challenged female with a trash bag full of hats.
Any idea how many batteries she had?
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Sometimes she uses the trash bag itself AS a hat:
(http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lts9kyDGFC1qb00zno1_500.jpg)
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(http://easchwartz.us/Bella%20Abzug.74.1.jpg)
"Look, don't tell ME I can't be out here protesting! I'm wearing my media hat!"
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The female with the trash bag full of hats led the way while wearing a Pied Piper looking hat and singing "We Shall Over Gum"
Brilliant! :rotf:
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(http://easchwartz.us/Bella%20Abzug.74.1.jpg)
"Look, don't tell ME I can't be out here protesting! I'm wearing my media hat!"
Now that is the most appropriate photo you could have probably picked. Great job.
And to give credit where credit is due, it was after reading your excellent DUFU on her reporting duties that I decide that if a faux expert on everything could be a reporter then surely a fictional spirit guide could be a reporter too.
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And to give credit where credit is due, it was after reading your excellent DUFU. . . .
And I, in turn, must give credit to franksolich for suggesting that he imagines the yenta Nadin to look like the late Bella Abzug. I thought, "You know, frank, you're right. Good call." So I went searching for an appropriate photo of Bella Abzug, who, of course, also happened to be known for her many (literal) hats.
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:rotf: That woman with the trashbag on her head up there is pretty much how I envision Nadin.