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The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: CG6468 on December 01, 2011, 10:23:44 AM

Title: The 56 best/worst analogies written by high school students
Post by: CG6468 on December 01, 2011, 10:23:44 AM
Quote
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Very few bowling balls will drift across a pond.  :lmao:

Really Bad Analogies (http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/the-56-bestworst-analogies-written-by-high-school-students/)
Title: Re: The 56 best/worst analogies written by high school students
Post by: JohnnyReb on December 01, 2011, 11:27:38 AM
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Maybe we do need to feed that one a free lunch at school.
Title: Re: The 56 best/worst analogies written by high school students
Post by: Celtic Rose on December 01, 2011, 02:50:30 PM
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

Now that is quite a visual  :rofl:
Title: Re: The 56 best/worst analogies written by high school students
Post by: Wineslob on December 07, 2011, 12:29:59 PM
Damn, I thought I was reading engrish.    :rotf: