The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: FlippyDoo on September 10, 2011, 05:02:05 AM

Title: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: FlippyDoo on September 10, 2011, 05:02:05 AM
Dear Boar Hog Tits,

Those of you who lurk here from DUnceland have probably noticed that 99% or more of the posts here at CC are being shown as being made by chris_. Well, you've noticed it if things haven't been returned to "normal" in an attempt to cover things up.

It's been mentioned on here that it is a "program glitch" or a "forum problem." Don't be so quick to believe it. As your fictional spirit-guide and former Jackass Party candidate I feel that it is important for you to know the truth. So, members of DUnceland, sit down the bong, wipe off the Cheetos dust, and strap on your tin-foil beanies because I've got a story for you...

Rove has finally decided that the BFEE needs a special forces unit within its cyber-ops division. He has had his eye on chris_ for some time as the possible head of the special forces unit, but Rove is particular about who he places in leadership. He wanted proof of chris_'s qualifications. Chris_ figured that the best way to show his qualifications to Rove would be to demonstrate a board-wide take over.

I realize that some of you are thinking that as a board administrator chris_ could have simply changed things with a few strokes of the keyboard, but chris_ is so far beyond such simple acts. He made the changes using all the tools available in the BFEE arsenal.

In several cases he used the BFEE time machine to go back in time to the point in which the original posts were made. He used the BFEE transporter to transport to the original posters' home. He used the BFEE mind-reading machine to learn what the original posters intended to post. Then, in what I consider to just being a case of showing off, he used the BFEE earthquake machine with pinpoint accuracy to shake the keyboard into making the actual posts. Yes, that's right. He never touched a keyboard!

In other cases he used some BFEE equipment that is so top secret that I can't even mention it here.

Rove watched it all in awe. All Rove could say afterward was that he was pretty sure that there was about to be a new sheriff in town.

After what I have witnessed I have a few words of warning to you lurking Boar Hog Tits: fear the awesome power of chris_ and do not draw his wrathful gaze upon yourselves.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: formerlurker on September 10, 2011, 06:21:07 AM
 :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: jtyangel on September 10, 2011, 06:28:06 AM
 :cheersmate: :lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 10, 2011, 06:37:47 AM
It's Bush's fault.
It's the Joooos fault.

AND NOW WE HAVE

It's Chris's fault.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 06:42:46 AM
It's Bush's fault.
It's the Joooos fault.

AND NOW WE HAVE

It's Chris's fault.

Good one, sir.

Our esteemed moderator Odin's Hand had caught the possible--er, likely--error first.

Now I can blame chris_ for posting a dirty picture here that caught the sparkling husband dude right at the right time.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: tanstaafl on September 10, 2011, 07:02:26 AM
We've been unmasked!
 :ohnoes:
Now they'll know there is really only one member. _chris!
 :lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: IassaFTots on September 10, 2011, 07:07:48 AM
It's Bush's fault.
It's the Joooos fault.

AND NOW WE HAVE

It's Chris's fault.

Not just Chris, but Chris_.

I blame the cat.   :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Skul on September 10, 2011, 08:20:12 AM
Aww, crap. not the damn cat again. :thatsright:
Stupid cat.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 10, 2011, 08:27:13 AM
Aww, crap. not the damn cat again. :thatsright:
Stupid cat.

...and the cat has been toking on the catnip again.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 08:35:04 AM
What really happened is, Chris was post whoring big time last night.  :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 08:37:33 AM
Oh my! I found a post that I made the other day, I just went back to it and this is what I saw :lmao:

(http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj140/RepublicanandProud/Boobs.jpg)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: BattleHymn on September 10, 2011, 08:38:43 AM
Oh my! I found a post that I made the other day, I just went back to it and this is what I saw :lmao:

(http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj140/RepublicanandProud/Boobs.jpg)

 :rotf: :lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 08:41:45 AM
Oh my! I found a post that I made the other day, I just went back to it and this is what I saw :lmao:

(http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj140/RepublicanandProud/Boobs.jpg)

Poor Chris or should I say Christine?  :lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 08:44:46 AM
:lmao:

Go look at The Spa posts!
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: BattleHymn on September 10, 2011, 08:45:15 AM
The DUmmies should feel right at home.  If  you replace "chris_" with "MiddleFingerMom", this is what the DU Lounge looks like half the time:

(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s233/ignitethefire65/mfm.jpg)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 08:47:48 AM
The DUmmies should feel right at home.  If  you replace "chris_" with "MiddleFingerMom", this is what the DU Lounge looks like half the time:

(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s233/ignitethefire65/mfm.jpg)

:lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 08:48:44 AM
All your posts are belong to Chris_.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: BattleHymn on September 10, 2011, 08:49:08 AM
:lmao:

Go look at The Spa posts!

Ohmygosh.  The mammaries thread...   I wish I could be here when chris gets back.  :rofl:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 08:54:44 AM
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

And his menopause threads!
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Janice on September 10, 2011, 08:55:15 AM
Poor Christina ...
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 10, 2011, 08:55:48 AM
Ohmygosh.  The mammaries thread...   I wish I could be here when chris gets back.  :rofl:

Has Chris gone in for breast augmentation?



Just doing my Obama impersonation....spreading the gossip around.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: jtyangel on September 10, 2011, 09:33:45 AM
Oh my! I found a post that I made the other day, I just went back to it and this is what I saw :lmao:

(http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj140/RepublicanandProud/Boobs.jpg)

 :lmao: :lmao: And here you think you know a person :thatsright: :lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: NHSparky on September 10, 2011, 10:09:38 AM
Chris_ puts the lotion on its skin.  It does this or it gets the hose again.

And then he does a dance in front of the mirror when in The Spa.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 10:26:07 AM
Chris is so gonna hate me.
 :rotf:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: NHSparky on September 10, 2011, 10:31:27 AM
Chris is so gonna hate me.
 :rotf:

Dude, what if EVERYONE put the foul bachelor frog as their avatar. 

He'd lose his freakin mind.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Evil_Conservative on September 10, 2011, 10:34:47 AM
So... where is Chris?
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Skul on September 10, 2011, 10:37:36 AM
So... where is Chris?
Tummy tuck, today.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: dutch508 on September 10, 2011, 10:41:04 AM
Oh my! I found a post that I made the other day, I just went back to it and this is what I saw :lmao:

(http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj140/RepublicanandProud/Boobs.jpg)

Boobiez?

Wee demand la boobiez.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Odin's Hand on September 10, 2011, 10:42:33 AM
So... where is Chris?

I think he may have drank a whole keg of that homebrew he was talking about.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 11:16:03 AM
Dude, what if EVERYONE put the foul bachelor frog as their avatar. 

He'd lose his freakin mind.

I was kind of hoping to start a trend.  :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: DixieBelle on September 10, 2011, 11:18:51 AM
It's that damn cat he adopted I just know it!!!
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 11:35:54 AM
It's that damn cat he adopted I just know it!!!

Actually, nadin registered as a member last night, and was trying to fix the grid.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 11:38:48 AM
Actually, nadin registered as a member last night, and was trying to fix the grid.

Maybe she can fix our database.  :rotf:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Traveshamockery on September 10, 2011, 11:42:15 AM
Go here and see this:  Chris was telling me all about his Vera Wang shoes.  

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,61209.0/msg,708187.html

The worst part is that I actually went to Chris' Facebook page and tried to find them.  It took me a few moments to realize what was happening.


On edit: 
Ah heck, I decided to do a screen grab so when the problem is fixed I will still have this to use against Chris.   :whistling:

(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l631/emjwarner/ChrisMathesonVeraWangshoes.jpg)



Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 12:27:34 PM
Go here and see this:  Chris was telling me all about his Vera Wang shoes.  

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,61209.0/msg,708187.html

The worst part is that I actually went to Chris' Facebook page and tried to find them.  It took me a few moments to realize what was happening.


On edit: 
Ah heck, I decided to do a screen grab so when the problem is fixed I will still have this to use against Chris. :whistling:

(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l631/emjwarner/ChrisMathesonVeraWangshoes.jpg)

:lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Freeper on September 10, 2011, 01:02:49 PM
Go here and see this:  Chris was telling me all about his Vera Wang shoes.  

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,61209.0/msg,708187.html

The worst part is that I actually went to Chris' Facebook page and tried to find them.  It took me a few moments to realize what was happening.


On edit: 
Ah heck, I decided to do a screen grab so when the problem is fixed I will still have this to use against Chris.   :whistling:

(http://i1127.photobucket.com/albums/l631/emjwarner/ChrisMathesonVeraWangshoes.jpg)





I had to check facebook and make sure all my friends weren't suddenly Chris_.  :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: ChuckJ on September 10, 2011, 01:41:23 PM
When I first checked in and saw the chris_ fest I was wondering if CC members had went the way of restaurants in the Demolition Man movie.

You do not realize that chris_ is the only CC poster to survive the CC poster wars. Now all CC posters are chris_.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Chris on September 10, 2011, 01:44:15 PM
When I first checked in and saw the chris_ fest I was wondering if CC members had went the way of restaurants in the Demolition Man movie.

You do not realize that chris_ is the only CC poster to survive the CC poster wars. Now all CC posters are chris_.
:rofl:  I like that one.

I downloaded a copy of the member database and am currently transferring the messages table from the server to my pc.  It's less than a gigabyte.  I can fix it, but I'm not sure if I will have a way to re-load the repaired table correctly.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Revolution on September 10, 2011, 01:44:51 PM
When I first checked in and saw the chris_ fest I was wondering if CC members had went the way of restaurants in the Demolition Man movie.

You do not realize that chris_ is the only CC poster to survive the CC poster wars. Now all CC posters are chris_.

 :lmao: Hi-5. It is also the utmost honor to meet and/or know chris_
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 01:48:18 PM
:rofl:  I like that one.

I downloaded a copy of the member database and am currently transferring the messages table from the server to my pc.  It's less than a gigabyte.  I can fix it, but I'm not sure if I will have a way to re-load the repaired table correctly.

Yeah, I'm kind of resenting this.

franksolich is supposed to be at the top of that list.

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/stats.jpg)

Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: bijou on September 10, 2011, 02:00:39 PM
Hilarious. Hi5 to Flippy also!  :rotf:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: jtyangel on September 10, 2011, 02:09:05 PM
I had to check facebook and make sure all my friends weren't suddenly Chris_.  :-)


 :lmao: :rotf:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Revolution on September 10, 2011, 02:26:10 PM
Yeah, I'm kind of resenting this.

franksolich is supposed to be at the top of that list.

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/stats.jpg)



 :rotf: :lmao: :rotf:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 02:28:39 PM
:rotf: :lmao: :rotf:

You know that chris_ and I have always been in competition, running neck-and-neck, for the silver medal, right?

The gold medal's "topics started."

The silver medal's "comments made."

The bronze medal's "time online."
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Revolution on September 10, 2011, 02:44:40 PM
As I have no chance of winning any of them, I just watch intently with the utmost interest, Frank. :-) O-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 03:23:12 PM
As I have no chance of winning any of them, I just watch intently with the utmost interest, Frank. :-) O-)

Actually, sir, chris_'s job and my job are two different things.

chris_ is the deus ex machina, the god behind the machine, the one who makes things work.

I couldn't do chris_'s job even with a revolver jammed against my temple; no way.

I'm the ballyhoo artist, the P. T. Barnum, the brash publicist, the carnival barker who entices the public in to see the freak show.

chris_ could probably do my job, no problem, but then who'd be the one here to take care of the technology?
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Revolution on September 10, 2011, 03:56:46 PM
Me...

Hey! Who threw that tomato!?! :lmao:

You're one hell of an "enticer," Frank, but we all know you're much more than that. Don't sell yourself short. :cheersmate:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 04:26:52 PM
Where is chris today? Did he just post and run lol.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 04:28:33 PM
Where is chris today? Did he just post and run lol.

Administrators and moderators have more than one screen-name.

I assure you chris_ has been dripping sweat on the keyboard since this morning.

They're trying to reach a couple of specialists to assist chris_, but they haven't been reached yet.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Rebel on September 10, 2011, 04:44:51 PM
We're not pathetic enough to have a staffed board team that's paid to do nothing but work the board. Unlike Skinner and the other two goons, we all have actual jobs.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 04:46:13 PM
We're not pathetic enough to have a staffed board team that's paid to do nothing but work the board. Unlike Skinner and the other two goons, we all have actual jobs.

Bingo.

Uh huh.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: IassaFTots on September 10, 2011, 04:49:57 PM
We're not pathetic enough to have a staffed board team that's paid to do nothing but work the board. Unlike Skinner and the other two goons, we all have actual jobs.

Well, our members don't need constant babysitting like that other board either....cept for maybe chris_.   :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 04:52:37 PM
Well, our members don't need constant babysitting like that other board either....cept for maybe chris_.   :-)

Ain't that the truth.

By the way, something needs pointed out.

conservativecave has a very high membership retention.

And turnover among moderators has always been virtually non-existent.

To me, that indicates "stability."
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Rebel on September 10, 2011, 04:59:25 PM
Ain't that the truth.

By the way, something needs pointed out.

conservativecave has a very high membership retention.

That happens when you're not afraid of dissent like the hive.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: FreeBorn on September 10, 2011, 05:01:04 PM
Ain't that the truth.

By the way, something needs pointed out.

conservativecave has a very high membership retention.

And turnover among moderators has always been virtually non-existent.

To me, that indicates "stability."
Yessiree. It can all be summed up in one word, conservative.  :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2011, 05:02:58 PM
That happens when you're not afraid of dissent like the hive.

Uh huh.

Stability.

What also needs pointed out is that only four members have ever been banned--this is since December 2007, when conservativecave was formed--for violating the rules.

There's probably been 300-400 who were banned because they were web spammers.

Our "registered members" list, unlike that on Skins's island, does NOT include banneds; they're subtracted from the total.  Our "registered members" total is NOT inflated; it's accurate.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 10, 2011, 05:12:08 PM
We're not pathetic enough to have a staffed board team that's paid to do nothing but work the board. Unlike Skinner and the other two goons, we all have actual jobs.
Seems to me the miserly stipends Skimmer doles out to Lord Marblehead and the elusive, enigmatic nitwit Elad are pretty much charity.
Every time he tries to entrust either of them with even a minor task, the DUmp ends up being discombobulated for weeks.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2011, 05:41:54 PM
Umm, it was supposed to be a joke, post and run, since 99% of the posts right now have Chris's name on them. I thought it was funny. :lmao:
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: jtyangel on September 10, 2011, 05:51:03 PM
Actually, sir, chris_'s job and my job are two different things.

chris_ is the deus ex machina, the god behind the machine, the one who makes things work.

I couldn't do chris_'s job even with a revolver jammed against my temple; no way.

I'm the ballyhoo artist, the P. T. Barnum, the brash publicist, the carnival barker who entices the public in to see the freak show.

chris_ could probably do my job, no problem, but then who'd be the one here to take care of the technology?

You are the wizard of oz to his man behind the curtain.  :-)
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: USA4ME on September 10, 2011, 09:48:09 PM
I am chris_ as you are chris_ as you are me and we are all together.

Goo Goo Ga Joob

.
Title: Re: Board Problems - lurking DUers
Post by: IassaFTots on September 10, 2011, 09:51:04 PM
I am chris_ as you are chris_ as you are me and we are all together.

Goo Goo Ga Joob

.


HI 5!

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: