TwixVoy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM
Original message
Played the "personal responsibility card" at the grocery store today
Edited on Sun Jun-19-11 12:48 PM by TwixVoy
I have to admit - the personal responsibility card is great fun.
Most ground level republicans are uneducated, poor, and generally have made bad choices in life based on hateful personalities. They really love to blame others, and come across as if they have done everything right in life compared to everyone else. I have found that in 99% of the cases once you actually start to know a little personal information about these people the exact opposite is true. Almost always their life is a self made train wreck.
This morning I had a very interesting encounter with a republican in line at the grocery store.
So I'm standing in a line of about 4 people. The cashier and person being checked out were speaking in spanish to each other. Here's the thing - I always shop at this store and have spoken to this cashier several times before. She's a really nice person that is just working part time while going through school.
This bitter looking 50 year old white person was standing in front of me and CLEARLY said in earshot of the cashier "you need to learn to speak english. you're in america.". I think to myself this is going to be interesting. So I quietly tell her "yea I know what you mean the whole country is turning mexican. I can't even go anywhere without seeing everything in spanish it's ridiculous". All of a sudden she's completely open to me. After all we must think alike.
So I got to talking to her and asked why she felt that way. "It's because of these mexicans that I can't pay my bills. If it wasn't for them I know I would be making more money because they are taking all of our jobs like this cashier." Ok heard that one before.
So I setup my personal responsibility card. I don't say anything at all that could provoke her. I just keep casually agreeing with everything she says. I get to casually asking some questions. Turns out she hates the president and her education consists of "some bible college classes", and she's been working a customer service job at Kmart for the past 10+ years. (I've found most republicans I play this card with fall in to the same category. Hate everyone different than them, low educational attainment, low paying job, etc.)
So I ask her what she meant when she said she can't pay her bills. Turns out she had her $30K car repossessed, got in on the mortgage disaster with a NINJA loan and an interest payment only mortgage so she just lost her house, makes $10/hour, and generally made bad choices in life. Of course this was all worded to suggest none of this was her doing.
So by this point it is my turn to get checked out so I tell her "well nice talking to you I've got to get checked out now".
So while the young cashier is checking me out I say to her "Hey good to see you again. How's school coming along?" She tells me it's going along great and I ask her what her major was again. She replies "I'm getting my bachelors in nursing. I'm actually finishing at the end of the summer semester and I'm hopefully going to have a job at the hospital after that."
The racist fu** I was talking to was standing right behind me in line and could hear everything.
So I say to the cashier "Wow that's awesome. You're going to have a great job and get places in life. I know it takes a lot of hard work and intelligence to get in to nursing. You're probably going to be making six figures in no time. You know just a minute ago I was talking to some idiot loser who couldn't even make it through bible college, never had the initiative to get out of working retail, made bad choices in life and had her car that she couldn't afford repossessed and her house that she took out an interest only loan for foreclosed on, and was pissed there wasn't any jobs available at this store for her. Since you're on your way out though I bet she'd be happy to know this job is about to be available"
So I turn to the racist fu** and say to her "Hey good news. I just found out this job you wanted is about to be open. It looks like you can move on up from Kmart now." She was speechless. I then grabbed my receipt and walked out. The look on her face was priceless.
Today is looking to be a great day.
ScreamingMeemie (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
7. I wish we had these kinds of grocery stores in my town.
auntAgonist (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 01:22 PM
Response to Reply #15
I've never ever heard remarks like that in any store I've been in. I've traveled the entire USA, never once witnessed a scene like you describe
ScreamingMeemie (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 01:31 PM
Response to Reply #32
I'm sorry, but I'm having difficulty believing the story you have written, as written. I live in Houston, TX. We have a wide and diverse culture... I go to the grocery store often. I wish just once one of these stories would happen to me.
TwixVoy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM
Original message
Played the "personal responsibility card" at the grocery store today
Edited on Sun Jun-19-11 12:48 PM by TwixVoy
So I'm standing.....
So I got to talking.....
So I setup......
So I ask her.....
So by this point.....
So while.....
So I say.....
So I turn.....
The look on her face was priceless
LeftyMom (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 02:15 PM
Response to Original message
80. Wow, your grocery store must have the slowest lines in the world. nt
Obamanaut (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
101. How did you like living in Portugal? Was finding work there difficult?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
Yesterday I was in line at the grocery store talking to some 20 something in line with me who had just graduated with his bachelors. I asked him what he thought of the oil disaster and he asked me "What oil spill?". Fu** if this nation isn't in some trouble if this is the kind of awareness new college grads have.
alphafemale (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #8
60. We're NEVER going to come together with these hateful ****s.
They don't want to join us at the table of brotherhood.
They want to nail up the doors and windows of our houses while we are inside douse it with gasoline and set it ablaze.
They will dance to our dying screams.
They will get joy from it.
The time is long past to cut them off at the knees and publicly expose them for what hey are at every chance.
**** them.
Most ground level republicans are uneducated, poor, and generally have made bad choices in life based on hateful personalities. They really love to blame others, and come across as if they have done everything right in life compared to everyone else.
alphafemale (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 01:49 PMAs a high school student, I was privileged to visit New York City, before it went crazy and destroyed itself. One of the most memorable events of that trip was seeing the original production of "My Fair Lady", at the Mark Hellinger Theater in midtown Manhattan. DUmmy alphafemale brought that memory back to me, because I can still hear the famous line from Professor Higgins, when Eliza Doolittle first properly pronounces "the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain".
Response to Reply #8
60. We're NEVER going to come together with these hateful ****s.
They don't want to join us at the table of brotherhood.
They want to nail up the doors and windows of our houses while we are inside douse it with gasoline and set it ablaze.
They will dance to our dying screams.
They will get joy from it.
The time is long past to cut them off at the knees and publicly expose them for what hey are at every chance.
**** them.
This bitter looking 50 year old white person was standing in front of me and CLEARLY said in earshot of the cashier "you need to learn to speak english. you're in america.". I think to myself this is going to be interesting. So I quietly tell her "yea I know what you mean the whole country is turning mexican. I can't even go anywhere without seeing everything in spanish it's ridiculous". All of a sudden she's completely open to me. After all we must think alike.
So I got to talking to her and asked why she felt that way. "It's because of these mexicans that I can't pay my bills. If it wasn't for them I know I would be making more money because they are taking all of our jobs like this cashier." Ok heard that one before.
So I setup my personal responsibility card. I don't say anything at all that could provoke her. I just keep casually agreeing with everything she says. I get to casually asking some questions. Turns out she hates the president and her education consists of "some bible college classes", and she's been working a customer service job at Kmart for the past 10+ years. (I've found most republicans I play this card with fall in to the same category. Hate everyone different than them, low educational attainment, low paying job, etc.)
So I ask her what she meant when she said she can't pay her bills. Turns out she had her $30K car repossessed, got in on the mortgage disaster with a NINJA loan and an interest payment only mortgage so she just lost her house, makes $10/hour, and generally made bad choices in life. Of course this was all worded to suggest none of this was her doing.
So by this point it is my turn to get checked out so I tell her "well nice talking to you I've got to get checked out now".
So while the young cashier is checking me out I say to her "Hey good to see you again. How's school coming along?" She tells me it's going along great and I ask her what her major was again. She replies "I'm getting my bachelors in nursing. I'm actually finishing at the end of the summer semester and I'm hopefully going to have a job at the hospital after that."
The racist fu** I was talking to was standing right behind me in line and could hear everything.
So I say to the cashier "Wow that's awesome. You're going to have a great job and get places in life. I know it takes a lot of hard work and intelligence to get in to nursing. You're probably going to be making six figures in no time. You know just a minute ago I was talking to some idiot loser who couldn't even make it through bible college, never had the initiative to get out of working retail, made bad choices in life and had her car that she couldn't afford repossessed and her house that she took out an interest only loan for foreclosed on, and was pissed there wasn't any jobs available at this store for her. Since you're on your way out though I bet she'd be happy to know this job is about to be available"
So I turn to the racist fu** and say to her "Hey good news. I just found out this job you wanted is about to be open. It looks like you can move on up from Kmart now." She was speechless. I then grabbed my receipt and walked out. The look on her face was priceless.
Today is looking to be a great day.
Obamanaut (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #76
149. If you are free of retail, what are you now doing? There was the application w/ McDonalds,
and a job at under $8/hr (that's often retail of some sort), and then way back the move to Portugal.
Leaving soon for Portugal to live with son May 2010
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
So, how did the Portugal visit go? Did you find work? Was Portugal everything you expected, or anything like you expected? What made you come back to the US
Well, I have a new job March 18, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
That job must not have been great
Applied at McDonalds April 19, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
TwixVoy (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-18-11 07:51 AM
Original message
I have a new job finally. Certainly not my finest moment..... $7.25 an hour but it's something.
I've already had to work along a white republican who informed me that it's all the fault of the "illegal Mexicans" that he isn't a rich man, and that he's so upset that if it wasn't for "the Mexicans" he'd be making big money thanks to "a few bible college classes" he's taken.
TwixVoy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM
Original message
"It's because of these mexicans that I can't pay my bills. If it wasn't for them I know I would be making more money because they are taking all of our jobs like this cashier." Ok heard that one before.
Turns out she hates the president and her education consists of "some bible college classes
Uh Oh GoBucks, so basically a :bouncy: was remade from an older :bouncy:?Yep. He plagiarized himself.
DUmmy Twix has as much trouble with honesty as Pam Dawson. He just spells and punctuates better.
He's apparently been fired by someone who attended a bible college. Maybe a Mexican.
You know, in your spare time, BEG :lmao:
Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.
Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.
Dreamer Tatum (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:18 PM
Original message
My grocery store smackdown.
So, I needed a couple of breakfast items, and I live in the reddest part of the reddest city in the reddest state
in the United States. I mean, it's nothing but McMansions, giant trucks, an late-model German sedans where I live,
all with vile bumperstickers, Truck Nutz, and everything you'd expect from a culture that values gain over everything
and everyone else. I would move, of course, but then they would win, and I have to stay here. I have to stay to stick
it to them.
Myself, I drive a paid-off 2005 Prius, and I used to get intimidated in traffic all the time. That was until it dawned
on me that all the truck drivers were compensating for incredibly small penises. When one of them cuts
me off in traffic, which is to say, ALL the time, I just hold up my thumb and forefinger about a quarter inch
apart so they can see it in their rear-view mirrors. I can't tell you the number of trucks that pull over
immediately when I do that. They know exactly what I'm referring to, and it shames them every time.
Anyway, I need some tofu and wheat germ for my usual breakfast, so I walk into the store at about seven AM. It's
packed full of people headed to work. Ordinarily, I'd feel sorry for them, but the volume or giant trucks and
German cars in the lot just made me feel glad that I work from home as a consultant to businesses that generate
green, sustainable energy from composted hemp and edamame husks. While I walked to the cooler where the tofu
is kept, I noticed a long line of angry-looking people at the donut counter. They were mostly fat and baggy-faced,
almost demanding that their donuts be boxed immediately so they could get on the road and cut off other people
while they waited for Rush Limbaugh to come on. I chuckled and thought, 'enjoy your donuts, along with the diabetes
and colon cancer, you freeptards. You don't even want single-payer, you idiots.'
The checkout line was long. Even though there are always a lot of people in that store, they never have enough
checkstands open. This is probably because the store manager wants to save payroll so he gets a bigger bonus,
because I know he sees all the expensive cars in his lot and it kills him. I'll never forget the time I overheard
him tell a stocker that he needed to clock out before he hit overtime, but that didn't mean he could go home,
because the beer cooler needed to be stocked before the football game the next day. Then he told the kid, "And
if I hear that union bullshit from you one more time, you're fired."
Anyway, I'm standing behind this behemoth guy with a giant tattoo on his bicep that I can't make out. He's
a typical suburban rethuglican: tall and fat, with enormous love handles. As he turned slightly, I was not
surprised to see that his tattoo was of a giant Ayn Rand. Seriously: an Ayn Rand tattoo. There is a RW tattoo
parlor here that advertises them on hate radio, and it's the latest thing in rethug fashion. Behind me, meanwhile,
is a guy in a knockoff Zegna suit and fake Chanel sunglasses (I know knockoffs when I see them, even though I
pretty much make all of my own clothes from hemp. When you make your own stuff, you can spot fakes easily.)
I noticed also that the guy in front of me has his keys on a belt clip, and of course there is a giant clump
of padlock keys next to a Ford key. He also has a keychain fob that I can make out as a long quote from Milton
Friedman, which I'm sure this dickhead thinks is just the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Anyway, the guy in front of us trying to pay is an immigrant worker from Mexico. I know this because some mornings
I sit outside the store with him as he waits for some of the assholes in giant trucks to offer him a day's
labor. My Spanish is just a little shaky, but I can understand it pretty well from the downloads I get of
Caracas news stations. His name is Isidro, and he's even given me a nickname: Ben Dayho. I don't know if there's
a sidekick from Mexican folk tales named Ben Dayho, or what, but I like it, and he lights up whenever I walk up
to him and say, "Hola, Isidro! Es mi, Ben Dayho!" Seems to make his day, which is the least I can do.
Isidro is buying an agua fresca, which is a fruit drink, and an apple. Or at least he's trying to buy it, because
there is some confusion at the register. The whole thing usually costs a dollar even, and Isidro is trying to
give a crumpled bill to the cashier. But I can see from the register screen (which has a picture-in-picture
of Fox News playing, naturally) that the price is now $1.10, and evidently Isidro doesn't understand. The cashier,
who this whole time has been winking at the guy with the Ayn Rand tattoo, keeps yelling, "NO! MAS!" And I see
Isidro turning beet red, not knowing what to do, surrounded by all these evil people leering at him. The irony
is that besides me, Isidro has the most healthful purchase...everyone else has what I call Freeper Chow: donuts,
sugared sodas, even beer.
I excuse myself and attempt to give Isidro the extra dime so we can all get going, but before I can, the massive
truck-driving asshole in front of me says, "Whoa, son. See this tattoo? She says we shouldn't be helping each
other. This meskin guy is on his own. And he should be - he looks illegal as hell to me, anyway." The cashier
winked at the guy again, and my blood started a fast boil. The guy behind me pretty much put the icing on the cake
when he said, "You guys are holding up the line. Do you know how much money I make? If you can't afford whatever
it is you're trying to buy, just put it down and be satisfied with whatever you stuffed into your pants anyway.
I work at Goldman Sachs. Won't be long before we own this store, but for now, hurry the **** up. My bonus is on the
line, and that Benz out there ain't free. But you'll never know that." He jingled his keys as though he was making
his point even more.
I cleared my throat with a loud AHEM and said, "Let me tell you something. Your savior may be Ayn Rand, but
I doubt you're capable of reading page one of that republican wet dream rag, and that's saying something,
because it would take a thousand Rands to equal one Gabriel Garcia Marquez on his WORST day. (I used Marquez
because I thought Isidro might recognize the name, him being Mexican and all, and I wanted to be sure that
I picked a Nobel Prize winner. My other choice was Gunther Grass, but that might have been too symbolic for
the freeper and the cashier.) And as for not helping, well, that attitude is what got us where we are now as
a country, not to mention thieves like you (I said that as I turned on my heel and pointed to the guy behind me.).
As for you ' - I pointed at the cashier - 'you should be looking out for guys like him. Since you aren't unionized,
thanks to your manager here, you're one missing dollar short of sitting on that same sidewalk outside. That's
how things are these days. And none of this is sustainable. We're losing rainforest. The seas are rising. Ice
caps are melting. Bank of America is foreclosing on people who haven't been born yet. Education has been slashed
to the degree that students use gum wrappers for textbooks. Our infrastructure is crumbling. There hasn't been
a decent movie since V is for Vendetta. And I. Blame. You."
I flipped a dime to Isidro, who caught it in midair and slammed it down on the counter. I dropped the tofu and
wheat germ on the floor, kicking off my latest boycott. I looked at the store manager and said, "Don't worry -
you'll have your pick of monster trucks soon, because assholes like everyone in this line will be selling
theirs soon to make a single house payment. Except Mr. Goldman here: oil is falling, and so will he be, from
a tall building, because of his losses."
A slow, faint clapping rose from the back of the line, which gathered into a crescendo of raucous applause. As
I walked out, I saw the men on either side of me bow their heads, and the giant freeper clasped his hand over his
Ayn Rand tattoo in shame. The Goldman guy had dialed his cell and was clearly describing me to someone on the other
line; it would probably get rough later. Not that I'm not accustomed to cracking some Blackwater skulls. As I walked
out, Isidro looked up at me with bright, shining eyes and simply said, "Gracias. Gracias, Ben Dayho. Muy Ben Dayho."
I have never been so proud as to be given a nickname by a new friend.
I'm writing all of this as I'm waiting for the news truck to show up. As I calmly walked out of the store
with my tofu and wheat germ, a woman in sweats ran up from behind me, begging me to wait. When I turned and
saw her face, without makeup, I assumed that she was just a victim of domestic violence, ie, the wife of
one of the rethugs I'd just left agape in the store. It wouldn't be the first time I helped the battered wife
of a truck-driving needledick rethug see a better way in life. It turns out, though, that she was a local news
anchor who was just buying some milk. I didn't recognize her because I got rid of my television years ago.
She gave me her card and told me she'd witnessed the entire thing, and she wanted to run a story on me one
night this week. I told her, "Look, Mindy, there are a million other people in this town that deserve a
news story more than me. But I'll do it, if for no other reason than to let people in this town know that the
tide is turning." She took her card back from me, turned it over, and wrote a phone number on the back. She
said it was her personal cell number, and I should call her sometime. I told her I'd consider it, but only
if she dyed her hair a different shade of Fox Anchor Blonde. She winked and said she suddenly realized she
needed to go back into the store for something she forgot.
I swear this happened.
Refresh | +5 Recommendations
PeaceNikki (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. meh. No organic drum circles. Sounds fake.
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hatrack (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. Uh, no, sorry - satire requires brevity. This lacks it.
nt
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Liberal Veteran (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. aka tl:dr - nt
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eleny (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
3. I'm always amazed at how much dialog people remember for postings like this
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XanaDUer (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. Thank you
I laughed so hard at this, I had to get up and get a Kleenex for the water running from my eyes. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I've had a crappy last year, and thank you for the laugh.
Much appreciation, amigo!
XD
(PS - this is better than the OP that inspired it)
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A-Schwarzenegger (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
6. Who would dare doubt it?
ibtl
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tammywammy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Original message
k&r
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proud2BlibKansan (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
7. You might want to change the part about the tofu purchase
First you say you drop it on the floor and are boycotting the store, then you say you walked out with it after buying it.
And yep, that's when you lost me completely.
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XanaDUer (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. But, was the tofu in front of him, or behind him?
It keeps moving. And, it's bitter-looking tofu.
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Newsjock (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
8. This is fake, and I can prove it!
Look, right there in the corner. See those artifacts? This story has been PHOTOSHOPPED!
K&R
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Bluzmann57 (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
9. You're trying too hard.
The story is too long, the situation you say you live in is just too "perfect", the things you say you do are rw talking points (hippie stuff), and it just doesn't sound right. Nice try though.
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redwitch (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
11. Dashiell Hammet meets John Wayne meets Tom Joad meets
Steven Colbert meets Keith Olbermann meets Garrison Keeler meets, gosh, I don't know who, maybe Jesus of Nazareth? The Truck Nutz was the giveaway.
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demmiblue (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. Admit it people: did anyone actually read this?
Your secret is safe with me. Honest!
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LiberalAndProud (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
13. Wait. What?
I *like* donuts.
Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.
Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.
Most ground level republicans
It may be a subconscious desire. But you may as well not even try.
They're a bitch to keep lit.
MellowDem (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 10:48 PM
Response to Original message
206. A made up, hateful story...
gets a ton of recommendations on DU. That's the saddest part of this whole thread.
Strangely enough, the OP comes across as more bigoted than the "racist ****" they concocted out of thin air.
The first troubling aspect is that so many DUers could not see that this story was made up.
The second troubling aspect is that so many actually cheered on the OP's hateful little fiction, enough that it had a + 47 recommends when I clicked on it.
This little story is the story of a bully. For DUers that initially cheered it on, I recommend you rethink your reasoning. I've known many Republicans and conservatives in my life, so I find the demonization of them to always be rather ignorant. If you want to change people's minds, demonization and bullying is not the way to do it. Doing it for personal gratification is disgusting.
I think TwixVoy's stories have one thing in common. It's always the other way around. He's the one who is called out in public for his idiotic views and beliefs.
:loser:
:lmao:
TwixVoy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM
Original message
Played the "personal responsibility card" at the grocery store today
Edited on Sun Jun-19-11 12:48 PM by TwixVoy
I have to admit - the personal responsibility card is great fun.
Most ground level republicans are uneducated, poor, and generally have made bad choices in life based on hateful personalities. They really love to blame others, and come across as if they have done everything right in life compared to everyone else. I have found that in 99% of the cases once you actually start to know a little personal information about these people the exact opposite is true. Almost always their life is a self made train wreck.
...and the smell !
Dear lord the smell !
Tooo funny, Twixboy plagairizing himself. That's just lazy.I'm not Catholic, but I think self-plagiarization may be a venal sin.
ALL the time, I justhold up my thumb and forefingerpull the corners of my mouth abouta quarter inchsix inches apart so they can see it in their rear-view mirrors. I can't tell you the number oftrucksPriuses, Volvos, and Subaru Outbacks that pull over immediately when I do that. Then when I pull over they get a panicked look in their eyes, never expecting someone to actually take them up on their public callouts. They know exactly what I'm referring to, and it shames them every time.
undeterred (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-20-11 07:54 AM
Response to Reply #237
242. Henceforth it will be known as "The Legend of the Personal Responsibility Card"
uponit7771 (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-20-11 07:57 AM
Response to Original message
243. There are WAAAAAY too many people in this thread sympathizing with the racist.
Lex (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-20-11 11:53 AM
Response to Original message
289. bouncy?
I'm surprised George Soros isn't using Twixt as an instructor in those socialist broadcasting schools he's set up.I doubt Soros would be interested. The boy has no education beyond a few classes at a bible college.
I doubt Soros would be interested. The boy has no education beyond a few classes at a bible college.Algore was a divinity school drop out too.
Algore was a divinity school drop out too.