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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 12:54:17 PM

Title: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 12:54:17 PM
Quote
TwixVoy (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM

Original message
 
Played the "personal responsibility card" at the grocery store today

 Edited on Sun Jun-19-11 12:48 PM by TwixVoy

I have to admit - the personal responsibility card is great fun.

Most ground level republicans are uneducated, poor, and generally have made bad choices in life based on hateful personalities. They really love to blame others, and come across as if they have done everything right in life compared to everyone else. I have found that in 99% of the cases once you actually start to know a little personal information about these people the exact opposite is true. Almost always their life is a self made train wreck.

This morning I had a very interesting encounter with a republican in line at the grocery store.

So I'm standing in a line of about 4 people. The cashier and person being checked out were speaking in spanish to each other. Here's the thing - I always shop at this store and have spoken to this cashier several times before. She's a really nice person that is just working part time while going through school.

This bitter looking 50 year old white person was standing in front of me and CLEARLY said in earshot of the cashier "you need to learn to speak english. you're in america.". I think to myself this is going to be interesting. So I quietly tell her "yea I know what you mean the whole country is turning mexican. I can't even go anywhere without seeing everything in spanish it's ridiculous". All of a sudden she's completely open to me. After all we must think alike.

So I got to talking to her and asked why she felt that way. "It's because of these mexicans that I can't pay my bills. If it wasn't for them I know I would be making more money because they are taking all of our jobs like this cashier." Ok heard that one before.

So I setup my personal responsibility card. I don't say anything at all that could provoke her. I just keep casually agreeing with everything she says. I get to casually asking some questions. Turns out she hates the president and her education consists of "some bible college classes", and she's been working a customer service job at Kmart for the past 10+ years. (I've found most republicans I play this card with fall in to the same category. Hate everyone different than them, low educational attainment, low paying job, etc.)

So I ask her what she meant when she said she can't pay her bills. Turns out she had her $30K car repossessed, got in on the mortgage disaster with a NINJA loan and an interest payment only mortgage so she just lost her house, makes $10/hour, and generally made bad choices in life. Of course this was all worded to suggest none of this was her doing.

So by this point it is my turn to get checked out so I tell her "well nice talking to you I've got to get checked out now".

So while the young cashier is checking me out I say to her "Hey good to see you again. How's school coming along?" She tells me it's going along great and I ask her what her major was again. She replies "I'm getting my bachelors in nursing. I'm actually finishing at the end of the summer semester and I'm hopefully going to have a job at the hospital after that."

The racist fu** I was talking to was standing right behind me in line and could hear everything.

So I say to the cashier "Wow that's awesome. You're going to have a great job and get places in life. I know it takes a lot of hard work and intelligence to get in to nursing. You're probably going to be making six figures in no time. You know just a minute ago I was talking to some idiot loser who couldn't even make it through bible college, never had the initiative to get out of working retail, made bad choices in life and had her car that she couldn't afford repossessed and her house that she took out an interest only loan for foreclosed on, and was pissed there wasn't any jobs available at this store for her. Since you're on your way out though I bet she'd be happy to know this job is about to be available"

So I turn to the racist fu** and say to her "Hey good news. I just found out this job you wanted is about to be open. It looks like you can move on up from Kmart now." She was speechless. I then grabbed my receipt and walked out. The look on her face was priceless.

Today is looking to be a great day.
 

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1327727

Twix is all et up wit da hate.  And his fellow DUmmies smack him around.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 19, 2011, 01:15:45 PM
Well, most of the DUmbasses believe Twix's story, but he does get slapped around:

Quote
ScreamingMeemie (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
7. I wish we had these kinds of grocery stores in my town.



Quote
auntAgonist (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 01:22 PM
Response to Reply #15
I've never ever heard remarks like that in any store I've been in. I've traveled the entire USA, never once witnessed a scene like you describe


Quote
ScreamingMeemie (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 01:31 PM
Response to Reply #32
I'm sorry, but I'm having difficulty believing the story you have written, as written. I live in Houston, TX. We have a wide and diverse culture... I go to the grocery store often. I wish just once one of these stories would happen to me. 


Most of the DUmmies remember that TwixVoy, who once had a promising career uncrating melon ballers at the local Target store, was fired for insubordination.

After failing to land any kind of job, due to failed drug screenings (one job, at the air  port was a done deal until an unfair last-minute piss test), he announced to the DUmp that he was leaving this shithole of country to seek his fortune in a more civilized nation. That led to a claimed search for which countries would issue a resident visa to an unemployed, drug-using pauper. His choices boiled down to Somalia and Chad, so that plan was abandoned.

His next plan was to smuggle himself into Portugal as a tourist, and then permanently sponge off his son, who apparently lives in that impoverished little country. That plan failed as well, due to his son deciding against giving TwixVoy his address.

Since then, Twix has been scarce at the DUmp, popping up only once in a great while to explain why his utter failure in life is due to the white man keeping a brother down. Good to see him back. He could be a contendah.

Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Skul on June 19, 2011, 01:31:02 PM
Quote
TwixVoy (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM

Original message
 
Played the "personal responsibility card" at the grocery store today

 Edited on Sun Jun-19-11 12:48 PM by TwixVoy


So I'm standing.....
So I got to talking.....
So I setup......
So I ask her.....
So by this point.....
So while.....
So I say.....
So I turn.....
The look on her face was priceless

Two bongs. :rotf:
The "so-fu" is strong.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 01:39:50 PM
 :rotf:

Quote
LeftyMom (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 02:15 PM

Response to Original message

80. Wow, your grocery store must have the slowest lines in the world. nt
 
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 01:42:58 PM
BWAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!

Quote
Obamanaut  (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 02:36 PM

Response to Original message

101. How did you like living in Portugal? Was finding work there difficult?

 http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph... 
 
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 01:45:44 PM
From the above link, he's a regular grocery store chit chatter.   :lmao:

Quote
Yesterday I was in line at the grocery store talking to some 20 something in line with me who had just graduated with his bachelors. I asked him what he thought of the oil disaster and he asked me "What oil spill?". Fu** if this nation isn't in some trouble if this is the kind of awareness new college grads have.

Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: BEG on June 19, 2011, 03:17:52 PM
Quote
alphafemale   (1000+ posts)             Sun Jun-19-11 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #8
60. We're NEVER going to come together with these hateful ****s.
   
They don't want to join us at the table of brotherhood.

They want to nail up the doors and windows of our houses while we are inside douse it with gasoline and set it ablaze.

They will dance to our dying screams.

They will get joy from it.

The time is long past to cut them off at the knees and publicly expose them for what hey are at every chance.

**** them.


Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: jukin on June 19, 2011, 03:29:10 PM
Quote
Most ground level republicans are uneducated, poor, and generally have made bad choices in life based on hateful personalities. They really love to blame others, and come across as if they have done everything right in life compared to everyone else.

Projection, pure projection.

Oh, ZERO BONG.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 19, 2011, 04:16:15 PM
Quote
alphafemale   (1000+ posts)             Sun Jun-19-11 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #8
60. We're NEVER going to come together with these hateful ****s.
   
They don't want to join us at the table of brotherhood.

They want to nail up the doors and windows of our houses while we are inside douse it with gasoline and set it ablaze.

They will dance to our dying screams.

They will get joy from it.

The time is long past to cut them off at the knees and publicly expose them for what hey are at every chance.

**** them.
As a high school student, I was privileged to visit New York City, before it went crazy and destroyed itself. One of the most memorable events of that trip was seeing the original production of "My Fair Lady", at the Mark Hellinger Theater in midtown Manhattan. DUmmy alphafemale brought that memory back to me, because I can still hear the famous line from Professor Higgins, when Eliza Doolittle first properly pronounces "the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain".

Apropos to DUmmy alphafemale's silly post, Professor Higgins declares, "By George, I think she's got it!"
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: formerlurker on June 19, 2011, 04:27:37 PM
Quote
This bitter looking 50 year old white person was standing in front of me and CLEARLY said in earshot of the cashier "you need to learn to speak english. you're in america.". I think to myself this is going to be interesting. So I quietly tell her "yea I know what you mean the whole country is turning mexican. I can't even go anywhere without seeing everything in spanish it's ridiculous". All of a sudden she's completely open to me. After all we must think alike.

So I got to talking to her and asked why she felt that way. "It's because of these mexicans that I can't pay my bills. If it wasn't for them I know I would be making more money because they are taking all of our jobs like this cashier." Ok heard that one before.

So I setup my personal responsibility card. I don't say anything at all that could provoke her. I just keep casually agreeing with everything she says. I get to casually asking some questions. Turns out she hates the president and her education consists of "some bible college classes", and she's been working a customer service job at Kmart for the past 10+ years. (I've found most republicans I play this card with fall in to the same category. Hate everyone different than them, low educational attainment, low paying job, etc.)

So I ask her what she meant when she said she can't pay her bills. Turns out she had her $30K car repossessed, got in on the mortgage disaster with a NINJA loan and an interest payment only mortgage so she just lost her house, makes $10/hour, and generally made bad choices in life. Of course this was all worded to suggest none of this was her doing.

So by this point it is my turn to get checked out so I tell her "well nice talking to you I've got to get checked out now".

So while the young cashier is checking me out I say to her "Hey good to see you again. How's school coming along?" She tells me it's going along great and I ask her what her major was again. She replies "I'm getting my bachelors in nursing. I'm actually finishing at the end of the summer semester and I'm hopefully going to have a job at the hospital after that."


The racist fu** I was talking to was standing right behind me in line and could hear everything.

So I say to the cashier "Wow that's awesome. You're going to have a great job and get places in life. I know it takes a lot of hard work and intelligence to get in to nursing. You're probably going to be making six figures in no time. You know just a minute ago I was talking to some idiot loser who couldn't even make it through bible college, never had the initiative to get out of working retail, made bad choices in life and had her car that she couldn't afford repossessed and her house that she took out an interest only loan for foreclosed on, and was pissed there wasn't any jobs available at this store for her. Since you're on your way out though I bet she'd be happy to know this job is about to be available"

So I turn to the racist fu** and say to her "Hey good news. I just found out this job you wanted is about to be open. It looks like you can move on up from Kmart now." She was speechless. I then grabbed my receipt and walked out. The look on her face was priceless.

Today is looking to be a great day.


Is it too much to ask for a little consistency in a bouncy?   
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 05:08:00 PM
Twix is getting spanked.

This is HILARIOUS !!!!

Quote
Obamanaut  (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 06:02 PM

Response to Reply #76

149. If you are free of retail, what are you now doing? There was the application w/ McDonalds,
 and a job at under $8/hr (that's often retail of some sort), and then way back the move to Portugal.

Leaving soon for Portugal to live with son May 2010

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

So, how did the Portugal visit go? Did you find work? Was Portugal everything you expected, or anything like you expected? What made you come back to the US


Well, I have a new job March 18, 2011

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

That job must not have been great

Applied at McDonalds April 19, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...


 
 
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Ballygrl on June 19, 2011, 05:24:56 PM
OMG! he's describing the entire DU, except for the moles who are pretending to be miserable.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Ballygrl on June 19, 2011, 05:35:49 PM
Oh wow, he totally got spanked in that thread, I think they're tired of :bouncy: too.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 19, 2011, 05:38:03 PM
Quote
TwixVoy (1000+ posts)        Fri Mar-18-11 07:51 AM
Original message
I have a new job finally. Certainly not my finest moment..... $7.25 an hour but it's something.

I've already had to work along a white republican who informed me that it's all the fault of the "illegal Mexicans" that he isn't a rich man, and that he's so upset that if it wasn't for "the Mexicans" he'd be making big money thanks to "a few bible college classes" he's taken.

Quote
TwixVoy (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM

Original message
 
"It's because of these mexicans that I can't pay my bills. If it wasn't for them I know I would be making more money because they are taking all of our jobs like this cashier." Ok heard that one before.

Turns out she hates the president and her education consists of "some bible college classes

DUmmy Twix has as much trouble with honesty as Pam Dawson. He just spells and punctuates better.
He's apparently been fired  by someone who attended a bible college. Maybe a Mexican.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Ballygrl on June 19, 2011, 05:40:28 PM
Uh Oh GoBucks, so basically a :bouncy: was remade from an older :bouncy:?
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Traveshamockery on June 19, 2011, 05:45:10 PM
I think TwixVoy's stories have one thing in common.  It's always the other way around.  He's the one who is called out in public for his idiotic views and beliefs. 

 :loser:

 :lmao:
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 19, 2011, 05:48:37 PM
Uh Oh GoBucks, so basically a :bouncy: was remade from an older :bouncy:?
Yep. He plagiarized himself.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: LC EFA on June 19, 2011, 05:56:03 PM
Amazing that they can create and defeat regiment upon regiment of strawmen in a fictional tale but still be unable to find a paying job.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: dandi on June 19, 2011, 06:08:05 PM
Oooooh, busted left and right in that thread.

 :lmao: :loser:

 If only they were that skeptical of all the other Bouncies.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: ChuckJ on June 19, 2011, 06:12:40 PM

DUmmy Twix has as much trouble with honesty as Pam Dawson. He just spells and punctuates better.
He's apparently been fired  by someone who attended a bible college. Maybe a Mexican.

That is a good find. I wish you would start a separate thread with just that so the lurking DUmmies could find it easier.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: jtyangel on June 19, 2011, 06:18:33 PM
Besides the fact that it's utter horseshit, one wonders where the hypocrite that is TwixVoy gets off calling anyone on the carpet for having a hateful personality. I think that little display, most likely not true, is the epitome of a hateful sob.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: jtyangel on June 19, 2011, 06:20:24 PM

Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.
You know, in your spare time, BEG :lmao:
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on June 19, 2011, 07:11:37 PM
Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, sister.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: zeitgeist on June 19, 2011, 07:32:02 PM
Imitation,the sincerest form of flattery?

Looks like someone is having a little fun at Twix expense. :popcorn:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1329640

Quote
Dreamer Tatum  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:18 PM
Original message
My grocery store smackdown.
 So, I needed a couple of breakfast items, and I live in the reddest part of the reddest city in the reddest state
in the United States. I mean, it's nothing but McMansions, giant trucks, an late-model German sedans where I live,
all with vile bumperstickers, Truck Nutz, and everything you'd expect from a culture that values gain over everything
and everyone else. I would move, of course, but then they would win, and I have to stay here. I have to stay to stick
it to them.

Myself, I drive a paid-off 2005 Prius, and I used to get intimidated in traffic all the time. That was until it dawned
on me that all the truck drivers were compensating for incredibly small penises. When one of them cuts
me off in traffic, which is to say, ALL the time, I just hold up my thumb and forefinger about a quarter inch
apart so they can see it in their rear-view mirrors. I can't tell you the number of trucks that pull over
immediately when I do that. They know exactly what I'm referring to, and it shames them every time.

Anyway, I need some tofu and wheat germ for my usual breakfast, so I walk into the store at about seven AM. It's
packed full of people headed to work. Ordinarily, I'd feel sorry for them, but the volume or giant trucks and
German cars in the lot just made me feel glad that I work from home as a consultant to businesses that generate
green, sustainable energy from composted hemp and edamame husks. While I walked to the cooler where the tofu
is kept, I noticed a long line of angry-looking people at the donut counter. They were mostly fat and baggy-faced,
almost demanding that their donuts be boxed immediately so they could get on the road and cut off other people
while they waited for Rush Limbaugh to come on. I chuckled and thought, 'enjoy your donuts, along with the diabetes
and colon cancer, you freeptards. You don't even want single-payer, you idiots.'

The checkout line was long. Even though there are always a lot of people in that store, they never have enough
checkstands open. This is probably because the store manager wants to save payroll so he gets a bigger bonus,
because I know he sees all the expensive cars in his lot and it kills him. I'll never forget the time I overheard
him tell a stocker that he needed to clock out before he hit overtime, but that didn't mean he could go home,
because the beer cooler needed to be stocked before the football game the next day. Then he told the kid, "And
if I hear that union bullshit from you one more time, you're fired."

Anyway, I'm standing behind this behemoth guy with a giant tattoo on his bicep that I can't make out. He's
a typical suburban rethuglican: tall and fat, with enormous love handles. As he turned slightly, I was not
surprised to see that his tattoo was of a giant Ayn Rand. Seriously: an Ayn Rand tattoo. There is a RW tattoo
parlor here that advertises them on hate radio, and it's the latest thing in rethug fashion. Behind me, meanwhile,
is a guy in a knockoff Zegna suit and fake Chanel sunglasses (I know knockoffs when I see them, even though I
pretty much make all of my own clothes from hemp. When you make your own stuff, you can spot fakes easily.)
I noticed also that the guy in front of me has his keys on a belt clip, and of course there is a giant clump
of padlock keys next to a Ford key. He also has a keychain fob that I can make out as a long quote from Milton
Friedman, which I'm sure this dickhead thinks is just the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Anyway, the guy in front of us trying to pay is an immigrant worker from Mexico. I know this because some mornings
I sit outside the store with him as he waits for some of the assholes in giant trucks to offer him a day's
labor. My Spanish is just a little shaky, but I can understand it pretty well from the downloads I get of
Caracas news stations. His name is Isidro, and he's even given me a nickname: Ben Dayho. I don't know if there's
a sidekick from Mexican folk tales named Ben Dayho, or what, but I like it, and he lights up whenever I walk up
to him and say, "Hola, Isidro! Es mi, Ben Dayho!" Seems to make his day, which is the least I can do.

Isidro is buying an agua fresca, which is a fruit drink, and an apple. Or at least he's trying to buy it, because
there is some confusion at the register. The whole thing usually costs a dollar even, and Isidro is trying to
give a crumpled bill to the cashier. But I can see from the register screen (which has a picture-in-picture
of Fox News playing, naturally) that the price is now $1.10, and evidently Isidro doesn't understand. The cashier,
who this whole time has been winking at the guy with the Ayn Rand tattoo, keeps yelling, "NO! MAS!" And I see
Isidro turning beet red, not knowing what to do, surrounded by all these evil people leering at him. The irony
is that besides me, Isidro has the most healthful purchase...everyone else has what I call Freeper Chow: donuts,
sugared sodas, even beer.

I excuse myself and attempt to give Isidro the extra dime so we can all get going, but before I can, the massive
truck-driving asshole in front of me says, "Whoa, son. See this tattoo? She says we shouldn't be helping each
other. This meskin guy is on his own. And he should be - he looks illegal as hell to me, anyway." The cashier
winked at the guy again, and my blood started a fast boil. The guy behind me pretty much put the icing on the cake
when he said, "You guys are holding up the line. Do you know how much money I make? If you can't afford whatever
it is you're trying to buy, just put it down and be satisfied with whatever you stuffed into your pants anyway.
I work at Goldman Sachs. Won't be long before we own this store, but for now, hurry the **** up. My bonus is on the
line, and that Benz out there ain't free. But you'll never know that." He jingled his keys as though he was making
his point even more.

I cleared my throat with a loud AHEM and said, "Let me tell you something. Your savior may be Ayn Rand, but
I doubt you're capable of reading page one of that republican wet dream rag, and that's saying something,
because it would take a thousand Rands to equal one Gabriel Garcia Marquez on his WORST day. (I used Marquez
because I thought Isidro might recognize the name, him being Mexican and all, and I wanted to be sure that
I picked a Nobel Prize winner. My other choice was Gunther Grass, but that might have been too symbolic for
the freeper and the cashier.) And as for not helping, well, that attitude is what got us where we are now as
a country, not to mention thieves like you (I said that as I turned on my heel and pointed to the guy behind me.).
As for you ' - I pointed at the cashier - 'you should be looking out for guys like him. Since you aren't unionized,
thanks to your manager here, you're one missing dollar short of sitting on that same sidewalk outside. That's
how things are these days. And none of this is sustainable. We're losing rainforest. The seas are rising. Ice
caps are melting. Bank of America is foreclosing on people who haven't been born yet. Education has been slashed
to the degree that students use gum wrappers for textbooks. Our infrastructure is crumbling. There hasn't been
a decent movie since V is for Vendetta. And I. Blame. You."

I flipped a dime to Isidro, who caught it in midair and slammed it down on the counter. I dropped the tofu and
wheat germ on the floor, kicking off my latest boycott. I looked at the store manager and said, "Don't worry -
you'll have your pick of monster trucks soon, because assholes like everyone in this line will be selling
theirs soon to make a single house payment. Except Mr. Goldman here: oil is falling, and so will he be, from
a tall building, because of his losses."

A slow, faint clapping rose from the back of the line, which gathered into a crescendo of raucous applause. As
I walked out, I saw the men on either side of me bow their heads, and the giant freeper clasped his hand over his
Ayn Rand tattoo in shame. The Goldman guy had dialed his cell and was clearly describing me to someone on the other
line; it would probably get rough later. Not that I'm not accustomed to cracking some Blackwater skulls. As I walked
out, Isidro looked up at me with bright, shining eyes and simply said, "Gracias. Gracias, Ben Dayho. Muy Ben Dayho."
I have never been so proud as to be given a nickname by a new friend.

I'm writing all of this as I'm waiting for the news truck to show up. As I calmly walked out of the store
with my tofu and wheat germ, a woman in sweats ran up from behind me, begging me to wait. When I turned and
saw her face, without makeup, I assumed that she was just a victim of domestic violence, ie, the wife of
one of the rethugs I'd just left agape in the store. It wouldn't be the first time I helped the battered wife
of a truck-driving needledick rethug see a better way in life. It turns out, though, that she was a local news
anchor who was just buying some milk. I didn't recognize her because I got rid of my television years ago.
She gave me her card and told me she'd witnessed the entire thing, and she wanted to run a story on me one
night this week. I told her, "Look, Mindy, there are a million other people in this town that deserve a
news story more than me. But I'll do it, if for no other reason than to let people in this town know that the
tide is turning." She took her card back from me, turned it over, and wrote a phone number on the back. She
said it was her personal cell number, and I should call her sometime. I told her I'd consider it, but only
if she dyed her hair a different shade of Fox Anchor Blonde. She winked and said she suddenly realized she
needed to go back into the store for something she forgot.




















I swear this happened.
 
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And the replies:


Quote

PeaceNikki  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. meh. No organic drum circles. Sounds fake.
 
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 hatrack  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. Uh, no, sorry - satire requires brevity. This lacks it.
 nt
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 Liberal Veteran  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. aka tl:dr - nt
 
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 eleny  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
3. I'm always amazed at how much dialog people remember for postings like this
 
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 XanaDUer  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. Thank you
 I laughed so hard at this, I had to get up and get a Kleenex for the water running from my eyes. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I've had a crappy last year, and thank you for the laugh.



Much appreciation, amigo!

XD

(PS - this is better than the OP that inspired it)
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 A-Schwarzenegger  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
6. Who would dare doubt it?
 ibtl   
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 tammywammy  (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Original message
k&r
 
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 proud2BlibKansan  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
7. You might want to change the part about the tofu purchase
 First you say you drop it on the floor and are boycotting the store, then you say you walked out with it after buying it.

And yep, that's when you lost me completely. 
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 XanaDUer  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. But, was the tofu in front of him, or behind him?
 It keeps moving. And, it's bitter-looking tofu.
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 Newsjock  (1000+ posts)       Sun Jun-19-11 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
8. This is fake, and I can prove it!
 Look, right there in the corner. See those artifacts? This story has been PHOTOSHOPPED!



K&R
 
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 Bluzmann57  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
9. You're trying too hard.
 The story is too long, the situation you say you live in is just too "perfect", the things you say you do are rw talking points (hippie stuff), and it just doesn't sound right. Nice try though. 
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 redwitch  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
11. Dashiell Hammet meets John Wayne meets Tom Joad meets
 Steven Colbert meets Keith Olbermann meets Garrison Keeler meets, gosh, I don't know who, maybe Jesus of Nazareth? The Truck Nutz was the giveaway. 
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 demmiblue  (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. Admit it people: did anyone actually read this?
 Your secret is safe with me. Honest!

 
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 LiberalAndProud  (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
13. Wait. What?
 I *like* donuts.



Uh huh, no one over there reads CC.  Really :rotf:
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 07:41:34 PM
OMG

BWAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!

They are clowning him BAD !!!!!
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Ballygrl on June 19, 2011, 08:18:14 PM
:lmao:
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Traveshamockery on June 19, 2011, 08:20:58 PM
 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Tucker on June 19, 2011, 08:23:53 PM

Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.

I'll bring the marshmellows. We'll burn a couple of fagots.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Chris_ on June 19, 2011, 08:40:22 PM
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff68/kayaktn/smileys/1f5ca520-2193-4534-bef8-dc7b5c5b9203.jpg)
:-)
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 19, 2011, 08:47:57 PM
Wow, I didn't know I wanted to set DUmmies ablaze.

It may be a subconscious desire. But you may as well not even try.
They're a bitch to keep lit.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: BEG on June 19, 2011, 09:23:49 PM
Quote
Most ground level republicans

What is a ground level republican?  Do they have ground level democrats too?
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: LC EFA on June 19, 2011, 09:27:31 PM
It may be a subconscious desire. But you may as well not even try.
They're a bitch to keep lit.

...and the smell !

Dear lord the smell !

Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 19, 2011, 11:13:53 PM
Speaking REAL truth to power   :rotf:


Quote
MellowDem (1000+ posts)      Sun Jun-19-11 10:48 PM

Response to Original message

206. A made up, hateful story...
 gets a ton of recommendations on DU. That's the saddest part of this whole thread.

Strangely enough, the OP comes across as more bigoted than the "racist ****" they concocted out of thin air.

The first troubling aspect is that so many DUers could not see that this story was made up.

The second troubling aspect is that so many actually cheered on the OP's hateful little fiction, enough that it had a + 47 recommends when I clicked on it.

This little story is the story of a bully. For DUers that initially cheered it on, I recommend you rethink your reasoning. I've known many Republicans and conservatives in my life, so I find the demonization of them to always be rather ignorant. If you want to change people's minds, demonization and bullying is not the way to do it. Doing it for personal gratification is disgusting.


SPANKALICIOUS
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: WinOne4TheGipper on June 19, 2011, 11:29:05 PM
I think TwixVoy's stories have one thing in common.  It's always the other way around.  He's the one who is called out in public for his idiotic views and beliefs. 

 :loser:

 :lmao:

It's safe to say that it's the same for all bouncies.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: delilahmused on June 20, 2011, 03:34:55 AM
So I'm standing in line at the grocery store with my cousin and see this liberal standing in line beside me. I know he's a liberal because he's unkempt and has this stained Che t-shirt on. So I figure I'll have a little fun with him. I love to tweak them. And I've been working on my photographic memory skills so I figure this would be a good time to practice them. Then I could come back here and tell you guys a completely implausible bouncy story that I'm sure you all will believe because it involves some basic stereotypes we know are characteristic of ALL lefties.

Naturally I was wearing my "White Warmongers for Sarah Palin" t-shirt. Now I know these idiots think they're so superior that if they hear something that even remotely triggers their "stereotypical, uneducated Republican" sensor their ears perk right up, so I said to my cousin, "I was listening to Rush and he said all those Mexicans coming over our border are taking our jobs and probably sneaking Al Qaeda across the border, too. I know they want to take over. Just look what they've done to California."

So she says, "Really?"

"Yeah, and they don't even bother learning English. They come over and take their snot-nosed brats to OUR emergency rooms, have a bunch of anchor babies so they don't have to leave. The only way we're going to get rid of them is to round them up and put them in camps. Then we can throw the criminal ones in jail and take the rest of them back to Mexico or Chile or wherever the hell they're from. If they're going to come to this country they should at least take responsibility for themselves instead of using our tax dollars for their health care, food and housing.

So my cousin says, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I was at the food pantry the other day and the line of Mexicans in front of me was so long by the time I got up to get my bag of free food all the government cheese was gone. I love that stuff, it's almost as good as Velveeta!"

So I says, "What did you do?"

My cousin goes, "When my turn came I told that lady she should be checking ID's of all the people who don't look like they belong here, especially the ones that don't speak English."

And I said, "Well what do you expect! We have a president who isn't even an American citizen. He's a Muslim."

About this time I can see this lefty practically has steam coming out of his ears and my cousin and I were laughing so hard neither of us could go on. Well, the guy paid for his groceries, gave me a dirty look and stormed out. I thought that would be the end of it. But some people just don't know when they're beings suckered. So next thing I know, he follows me to the gas station. I get out of my truck with my Marine Corps & Palin 2012 bumper stickers. I love my truck...and it's paid for. Anyway, he gets out of his old VW van that's in worse shape than his t-shirt and he starts screaming at me that I'm an uneducated racist. He says, "They're better people than you. At least they're trying to earn their way in this world! If you'd stop listening to Rush and doing what he said you might not be so uneducated."

I started laughing so hard I could barely put the nozzle in my tank! That put him over the edge and he turned three shades of red! I thought he was gonna come at me but just at that moment a policeman came out of the door (this was one of those AM/PM gas stations where you can get coffee and stuff). It kinda looked like he jumped out from behind the potted plant by the door. At first I didn't think it was going have it be one one of those with a store but then I remembered I had to have some place for the cop to jump out of.

The cop asked me if I was having any problem with the dirty Che guy. I just laughed and said, "No, he's one of those lefties who turned his balls in a long time ago. Besides, (and I turned right around and looked at this liberal) I may have only had a semester of Bible classes before I got my English degree, but I do know how to find a man with enough assets so I can stay home and listen to Rush. If you'll excuse me, I need to get home. I'm expecting my pool boys, Jose & Achmed. They're so damn cute. Too bad they're gay!"

That gullible liberal idiot had no idea he was being played.

Cindie
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Tucker on June 20, 2011, 06:08:57 AM
Couldn't have happened that way. In the real world, the little TV screen on top of the gas pumps would have FAUX playing.

H5 none the less.  :-)
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Karin on June 20, 2011, 07:36:41 AM
Tooo funny, Twixboy plagairizing himself.  That's just lazy. 
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: dandi on June 20, 2011, 09:00:27 AM
Quote
TwixVoy (1000+ posts)        Sun Jun-19-11 12:45 PM

Original message
 
Played the "personal responsibility card" at the grocery store today

 Edited on Sun Jun-19-11 12:48 PM by TwixVoy

I have to admit - the personal responsibility card is great fun.

Most ground level republicans are uneducated, poor, and generally have made bad choices in life based on hateful personalities. They really love to blame others, and come across as if they have done everything right in life compared to everyone else. I have found that in 99% of the cases once you actually start to know a little personal information about these people the exact opposite is true. Almost always their life is a self made train wreck.

I must admit I had to stop reading after this, I was  :lmao:  too hard.

What a silly assed idiot.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: BlueStateSaint on June 20, 2011, 09:49:06 AM
...and the smell !

Dear lord the smell !



It goes along with the EIS (Environmental Impact Statement) that one has to file.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 20, 2011, 10:36:25 AM
Tooo funny, Twixboy plagairizing himself.  That's just lazy. 
I'm not Catholic, but I think self-plagiarization may be a venal sin.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: NHSparky on June 20, 2011, 11:07:07 AM
Quote
ALL the time, I just hold up my thumb and forefinger pull the corners of my mouth about a quarter inch six inches apart so they can see it in their rear-view mirrors. I can't tell you the number of trucks Priuses, Volvos, and Subaru Outbacks that pull over immediately when I do that.  Then when I pull over they get a panicked look in their eyes, never expecting someone to actually take them up on their public callouts. They know exactly what I'm referring to, and it shames them every time.

FIFY, DUmbasses
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: shadeaux on June 20, 2011, 02:00:26 PM
 delilahmused    :rotf:  You silly girl !!

Quote
undeterred  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jun-20-11 07:54 AM

Response to Reply #237

242. Henceforth it will be known as "The Legend of the Personal Responsibility Card"
 

 :lmao:

Quote
uponit7771  (1000+ posts)      Mon Jun-20-11 07:57 AM

Response to Original message
 
243. There are WAAAAAY too many people in this thread sympathizing with the racist.

Yep.  Shining brightly I might add.

Quote
Lex (1000+ posts)        Mon Jun-20-11 11:53 AM

Response to Original message

289. bouncy?

BWAHAHAHA !!!!  Game over.

Where's Twix ?
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Duke Nukum on June 20, 2011, 07:05:01 PM
If I were a talent scout for CBS 60 Minutes, I'd scoop this lad up for bouncy training camp.

I'm surprised George Soros isn't using Twixt as an instructor in those socialist broadcasting schools he's set up.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: BEG on June 20, 2011, 07:18:09 PM
Has he posted since his very unfortunate bouncy?
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: GOBUCKS on June 20, 2011, 07:29:40 PM
I'm surprised George Soros isn't using Twixt as an instructor in those socialist broadcasting schools he's set up.
I doubt Soros would be interested. The boy has no education beyond a few classes at a bible college.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: Duke Nukum on June 20, 2011, 08:15:12 PM
I doubt Soros would be interested. The boy has no education beyond a few classes at a bible college.
Algore was a divinity school drop out too.
Title: Re: Played the "personal responsibility card" Twix Voy
Post by: DefiantSix on June 20, 2011, 08:55:23 PM
Algore was a divinity school drop out too.


Wasn't the "Breck Girl" a beauty school dropout?

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TOxhzAm7fY[/youtube]