The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Freeper on April 17, 2011, 10:44:02 AM
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ck4829 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Apr-17-11 10:41 AM
Original message
Introducing new board game - Tea Party Monopoly Updated at 10:41 AM
What you need:
A Monopoly board
A piece of paper
And obviously, players
It's just like a regular game of Monopoly, just with a few new rules.
No Estate Tax:
Divide the players up before the start of the game, one half on one side and the other half on the other. Flip a coin, have one side call it. Whoever gets heads gets an extra 2000 dollars because they're the nephews of the late Uncle Moneybags and they EARNED that money, right? Right?
White Collar Crime:
Never go immediately to jail. Instead you continue on for six turns (And being able to collect property and collect your 200 dollars when you pass Go) before going to jail for one turn. Exception is for the player with the least amount of money where regular jail rules apply.
Trickle Down Economics:
The player with the most amount of money never pays any taxes (In the form of landing on a spot where taxes are paid, from community chest, or chance), if they did, then the game would be considered SOCIALISM.
Corporate Welfare:
With the piece of paper, you make a new card for the Community Chest, the Corporate Welfare card. With this card, any player except for the one with the least amount of money will have the bank pay for their next house or hotel. This is paid for by the player with the least amount of money 'sacrificing' their 200 dollars when they pass Go and then the card will be returned to the pile. If the player with the least amount of money gets this card, then they will simply get 100 dollars.
So have fun, and remember, if it's not Tea Party Monopoly, then it's MARXISM.
Refresh | +1 Recommendations
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x909829
Ok how about Monopoly for DUmmies,
What you need:
A Monopoly board
A piece of paper
And obviously, players
It's just like a regular game of Monopoly, just with a few new rules.
The pay your fair share tax:
After every player is dealt out their money at the beginning, a 50% tax is imposed leaving everyone only 50%.
The property tax:
When you land on a space and it is not owned, you can buy that piece of property plus a 20% property tax.
As an added bonus every time you pas that property again you get assessed another property tax and have to pay it.
The pass Go tax:
Every time you pass Go, 50% of that $200 gets redistributed amongst the other players. If you are in the lead then it goes up to 75%.
The player with the least amount of money, gets the most from the money that you fairly pay to everyone.
Welfare tax:
If you own Boardwalk and the player who lands there can't afford the rent he doesn't have to pay.
If he or she can pay then 50% of the proceeds go to taxes.
House tax:
When you buy a house there is a 10% tax on top of the purchase price of the house.
There is also a 20% carbon tax for constructing such house.
Hotel tax:
When you purchase a hotel there is an automatic 75% tax added in, plus 20% for carbon.
You are also required to have at least 10 employees in each hotel where you have to pay them a living wage and give them benefits.
On every fourth pass by your property the unions demand another 10% increase in pay and benefits.
Go to jail card:
If you buy too many properties you get an automatic jail sentence of 10 turns, unless you vote Democrat then you get a waiver.
So have fun, and remember: if it's not DUmmy Monopoly, then it's capitalism.
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I'd like to see the player pieces you come up with, Freeper. :-)
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I'd like to see the player pieces you come up with, Freeper. :-)
One of them would have to be a bong or a crack pipe. Then, another would have to be a pacifier . . . then another could be some sort of "marital aid," and another could be a litter box . . . :fuelfire:
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One of them would have to be a bong or a crack pipe. Then, another would have to be a pacifier . . . then another could be some sort of "marital aid," and another could be a litter box . . . :fuelfire:
What about the "Skittles shitting Unicorn" ?
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What about the "Skittles shitting Unicorn" ?
:thatsright:
Okay, a unicorn, too.
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I'd like to see the player pieces you come up with, Freeper. :-)
The car has to go, it will be replaced by a model Chevy Volt.
The Iron is oppressive to women, so it will be replaced by a laptop.
The wheelbarrow is representative of slavery or hard manual labor at non union wages, it will be replaced by a surfboard.
The dog is ok as long as it can run free and only eats vegetarian dogfood.
The hat is ok, but to be cool it will be the same hat as Indy wore in the movies.
The shoe is fine since it is only one it can represent the handicapped.
The battleship has to go as well, large carbon footprint and it's an evil war machine. An environmentally friendly rowboat will replace it.
The thimble is once again oppressive of women so it will be replaced by a environmentally friendly box of sugar free chocolates.
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an environmentally friendly box of sugar free chocolates
:rotf: :mental:
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The car has to go, it will be replaced by a model Chevy Volt.
The Iron is oppressive to women, so it will be replaced by a laptop.
The wheelbarrow is representative of slavery or hard manual labor at non union wages, it will be replaced by a surfboard.
The dog is ok as long as it can run free and only eats vegetarian dogfood.
The hat is ok, but to be cool it will be the same hat as Indy wore in the movies.
The shoe is fine since it is only one it can represent the handicapped.
The battleship has to go as well, large carbon footprint and it's an evil war machine. An environmentally friendly rowboat will replace it.
The thimble is once again oppressive of women so it will be replaced by a environmentally friendly box of sugar free chocolates.
Much better than mine. H5.
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Much better than mine. H5.
I liked yours, I didn't want to steal your ideas. :-)
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I liked yours, I didn't want to steal your ideas. :-)
However, sir, yours were adaptations of the original tokens. Much truer to the original game than mine. :bow:
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Their game will sell just about as well as the Chevy "Volt". :lmao: :rotf:
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You are also required to have at least 10 employees in each hotel where you have to pay them a living wage and give them benefits.
Don't forget that two of them have to be gay and another has to be a sequential hermaphrodite.
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One of them would have to be a bong or a crack pipe. Then, another would have to be a pacifier . . . then another could be some sort of "marital aid," and another could be a litter box . . . :fuelfire:
Its so great that you thought about underground panther.
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The car has to go, it will be replaced by a model Chevy Volt.
The Iron is oppressive to women, so it will be replaced by a laptop.
The wheelbarrow is representative of slavery or hard manual labor at non union wages, it will be replaced by a surfboard.
The dog is ok as long as it can run free and only eats vegetarian dogfood.
The hat is ok, but to be cool it will be the same hat as Indy wore in the movies.
The shoe is fine since it is only one it can represent the handicapped.
The battleship has to go as well, large carbon footprint and it's an evil war machine. An environmentally friendly rowboat will replace it.
The thimble is once again oppressive of women so it will be replaced by a environmentally friendly box of sugar free chocolates.
The car has to go, it will be replaced by a model Chevy Volt.
The Iron is oppressive to women, so it will be replaced by a laptop.
The wheelbarrow is representative of slavery or hard manual labor at non union wages, it will be replaced by a surfboard.
The dog is ok as long as it can run free and only eats vegetarian dogfood.
The hat is ok, but to be cool it will be the same hat as Indy wore in the movies.
The shoe is fine since it is only one it can represent the handicapped.
The battleship has to go as well, large carbon footprint and it's an evil war machine. An environmentally friendly rowboat will replace it.
The thimble is once again oppressive of women so it will be replaced by a environmentally friendly box of sugar free chocolates.
The cowboy and horse would have to go because it represents aggressive jingoism. It will be replaced by an enlightened dolphin.
The money bag would go since it represents evil capitalism. It will be replaced by a welfare check.
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What if they're gay cowboys?
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Is there a welfare mom piece? You can make it a woman with eight kids hanging off the side of her while she's talking on an iPhone.
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What if they're gay cowboys?
Then, the hat and horse obviously should stay. The horse should be a rainbow horse to confirm their solidarity with gay cowboys every where. And the hat and boot MUST coordinate. And of course there needs to be a bowl of pudding.
Cindie
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One of the pieces should be a broken down buick with Colorado plates.
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1. bowl of stale Cheetoes
2. bong
3. Buick
4. Communist Manifesto or Mein Kampf
5. tinfoil hat
6. flat basketball (non-bouncing Bouncy Ball)
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1. Thorazine
2. Straight jacket
3. Klan hood
4. Bong
5. Handcuffs
6. ACORN
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You know, all joking aside, I think you guys might really be on to something here.
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You know, all joking aside, I think you guys might really be on to something here.
Just think of the fun community chest cards we could come up with.
When you get the inheritance card you get assessed a 40% tax.
If you win the beauty contest NOW protesters destroy your car costing you 5k for repairs.
Advance to GO collect $200 and pay 90% in taxes because it isn't fair you get to advance to Go.
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I think a DUmmie version would be better...you know...you get sent to Detroit, you become unemployed, you buy a vacant lot, you put a tent on it, then a crack house, etc... :-)
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Their game will sell just about as well as the Chevy "Volt". :lmao: :rotf:
:lmao: :lmao:
Yeah, and cost as much as well.
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Well, in the DUmmy version the tonier properties of Park Place and Boardwalk would be replaced with the Edward M. Kennedy Memorial Housing Projects. Instead of buying houses and hotels to put on your property it would be crack houses and Planned Parenthood clinics.
The traditional railroads, B&O, Short Line, etc., would be exchanged for Subsidized High-Speed Rail which would double in price every time you landed on it.
The Electric Company and Water Works utilities could no longer be bought and sold as they would be nationalized.
Free parking would remain, of course, free.
Landing on the Luxury Tax square used to cost $100. It would now be 50% of your entire assets.
The "Go" square would be replaced with the "1st Of The Month" square, the passing of which would let you collect $200 in welfare.
"Jail" would become "Gitmo".
Some updates to the Chance and Community Chest cards would be required:
"Democratic House elected - collect $500 from the richest player on the board"
"Your medical marijuana application is approved - lose two turns due to drug-induced stupor"
"Bobo The Hobo Is Elected Mayor - You May Squat On Any Property Without Paying Rent"
"Gay Marriage Is Repealed - Go Back Three Spaces"
...and so on... :stoner:
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Funny thing is... there were only two (yes two) responses to that post.
I do better when I fart at work. :-)
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"Bobo The Hobo Is Elected Mayor - You May Squat On Any Property Without Paying Rent"
:lmao: :rotf:
That one actually brought tears of joy to my eyes.
Baltic and Mediteranian would also have to become "Detroit," and "Compton."
One of the pieces should be a broken down buick with Colorado plates.
Thank heavens at least SOMEONE was thinking of the homeless!1! [/bobbolink]
This thread is all kinds of funny. Hi5 Freeper. I love all of this.
The battleship has to go as well, large carbon footprint and it's an evil war machine. An environmentally friendly rowboat will replace it.
What about a Prius or a Segway?
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Here are some related Chance cards from Moonbattery. (http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2011/04/open-thread-990.html#comments)