The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Lauri on April 13, 2008, 11:01:07 PM
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this may be, hands down, the most pathetic post I've ever read from DU... and that's saying something.
Xema writes a man and asks for a small favor.
I have two other favors to ask.
I got you a present, and I'd like you to accept it. Like, when I give it
to you I'd like you to say "Thank you, this was very thoughtful of you! I
appreciate it!" Then you can go throw it away, or whatever.
The other thing is sort of complicated and I'm not sure how to phrase it.
Basically, I am still confused about why you'd ever be remotely interested
in me. I really don't understand it. The cynical interpretation suggests
that you just thought I'd be easy, but maybe that's not the case. In the
service of helping me understand this, I'd like you to write me a
handwritten note with a few NICE things about myself. If you can't think
of anything true, make stuff up. (Short history: The last person I liked
took it upon himself to say MEAN things about me, so I'm trying to counter
that here.) I'd like it written out by hand, but you don't have to sign
it, and no-one else will ever see it or know it exists.
I know I've totally overthought this, and it's sort of pathetic,
demanding, and high-maintenance, but both of these things would be much
appreciated.
Oh, and if I decide to have a good-bye party, I'd like you to go.
After that I will drop off the face of the earth and leave you alone.
and the man responds..
Xema-
This is not, and has never been, a relationship, yet there is drama. I do not like drama, especially when it is unnecessary. I have been telling you for some time that I thought you were a nice person, who is smart and interesting, but that I was just vulnerable (and horny) that night when we were both drunk. Yes, the reason I RESPONDED to your advance that night when, again, we were both drunk, is because I thought you were interested in sex--not a relationship. Please don't make me spell it out any more plainly. Also, as a reminder, and to be very clear...we did not ever have sex.
Subsequently, during both of our discussions, I explained my vulnerability to you, and also let you know that a sexual relationship with you was not going to work for me, and that, in effect, it was a mistake for me to have attempted to have sex with you. You're smart--I know you can understand this. However, it seems that you are, and have been, creating something from nothing. I am now starting to get annoyed. As I have mentioned, I think it would be best (and I must now insist) that we do not spend time alone, not that we have--other than our one meeting to discuss this, and then another time, at your request, for twenty-minutes, to again discuss this, after DL. I hope it will not get to the point where I will feel I cannot show up at DL.
I am so sorry that you have any painful or unpleasant feelings directed toward me or, especially, as a result of me. However, the fact is that we are both adults and I would have expected this confusion to be over by now. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of a gift. However, I think you will understand when I say that I do NOT feel it appropriate for me to accept it, nor for you to give it. Please try to understand that if you are not able to move on from the problem you have with me, then I will concede the DL group to you.
Again, Xema, you are a very intelligent, compassionate and thoughtful person. Good luck with your job hunt. I'm sure it will all work out fine. BTW, the greatest gift you could give me (AND YOU) is to stop thinking about me. And, do yourself a favor: don't over-analyze this letter. It's all good.
Take care,
Jefe
P.S. If you write me back, please understand if I don't respond.
and it gets better..
bicentennial_baby
6. Oh Christ, he's MARRIED?!
:wtf:
Step away, and quickly... Jeebus. Bad idea, sister.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7653347
most of them tell Xema to stop stalking the man.. she seems to be reveling in being a huge loser and posting about it on the internet.. after telling the guy she wont tell anyone about the hand written letter she asks him to write.
*cookoo*
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What missing enzyme causes people like this to discuss this in public?
My God, have we become so Oprah/Dr. Phil/Spinger-ized that we we will take what is both a personal issue and one we should feel shame about and post it for the world to read?
Shame is what is missing from the modern western world.
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(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/Motivational/anonymity.jpg)
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Bi-baby commenting on this???? She who stole a married man and ended up driving another woman to near insanity commenting on this?
Yanno... Metal tastes like.... Sometimes it's Goldy; sometimes, it's bronzy; but this tastes... Irony.
*Red*
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I used to date a psycho chic like this one.
Over analyzing everything and coming to consistently wrong conclusions was a hallmark of hers.
The best thing I ever did was break it off.
I don't think men are fearful of commitment. I think we have all been scarred for life by dating a psycho chick. We all know a psycho chick. Ones ever running for president.
Normal gals have no concept of the damage a psycho chick can do to a man.
Dating a psycho chick can keep a man single for years afterwards!
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I used to date a psycho chic like this one.
Over analyzing everything and coming to consistently wrong conclusions was a hallmark of hers.
The best thing I ever did was break it off.
I don't think men are fearful of commitment. I think we have all been scarred for life by dating a psycho chick. We all know a psycho chick. Ones ever running for president.
Normal gals have no concept of the damage a psycho chick can do to a man.
Dating a psycho chick can keep a man single for years afterwards!
Pffft. Oh, I know the damage of psycho chicks.
The psycho chick is not merely the bane of straight men. . .no sir.
*Red*
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I'm going to cut Xema some slack. We have no idea how much this fella encourages it despite his protests. I've been around long enough to know that men can sometimes really play with a woman's emotions. That said, Xema would be wise to leave it alone. Her self-worth does not revolve around what this guy thinks of her.
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ATTENTION MEN! This is why you should NEVER cheat on your wife. If you think she is crazy and bitter just wait a couple of months until skanky home wrecker shows her true colors. I have never met a home wrecker who wasn't a psycho bitch.
This ad cracked me up though......
Liberal Quicksand
Providing education on the dangers of Liberals and their policies.
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(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l307/asdf2231/Motivational/anonymity.jpg)
Hi5 ASDF :lmao: :cheersmate:
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ATTENTION MEN! This is why you should NEVER cheat on your wife. If you think she is crazy and bitter just wait a couple of months until skanky home wrecker shows her true colors. I have never met a home wrecker who wasn't a psycho bitch.
This ad cracked me up though......
Liberal Quicksand
Providing education on the dangers of Liberals and their policies.
It would seem a SPOUSE stepping out in a HAPPY marriage is a little unbalanced too wouldn't it?
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
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I've never understood the mindset of women (or men) who pursue someone who is married. What can you possibly gain other than drama and heartache?
My uncle (I no longer refer to him as such tho) and aunt were married for 27 years. Once my cousins were grown and gone, he decides he no longer loves her, has an affair, causes much drama, and they divorce. He marries his "home wrecker", 2-3 years later pursues another woman, whom he later marries.
WTH? Isn't that what the latter years of life are all about? Once the nest is empty and your lives together become your own, all that you've worked and strived for, all that you've given each other, heartfully, doesn't it mean anything? Shouldn't this be a time of celebration, a time to re-acquaint yourselves with what drew you to this person in the first place? A time to enjoy the new generation (grandkids)? A time to enjoy the lesser responsibilities of not having to provide for a full sized family any more?
Idealistic, I know. Maybe this is why renewing vows is so popular these day.
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
Do you think these things happen in a vacuum mama? Do you really think people cheat just for sex?
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ATTENTION MEN! This is why you should NEVER cheat on your wife. If you think she is crazy and bitter just wait a couple of months until skanky home wrecker shows her true colors. I have never met a home wrecker who wasn't a psycho bitch.
This ad cracked me up though......
Liberal Quicksand
Providing education on the dangers of Liberals and their policies.
(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005LC4R.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
Do you think these things happen in a vacuum mama? Do you really think people cheat just for sex?
Yes. Either they are just in it for the sex or they are just in it because they are a piece of shit that has no respect for anyone else.
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
Do you think these things happen in a vacuum mama? Do you really think people cheat just for sex?
Are you defending extra-marital affairs?
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
Do you think these things happen in a vacuum mama? Do you really think people cheat just for sex?
Are you defending extra-marital affairs?
Defending? No. I don't believe that people engage in them just for sex. There is usually something missing from the marriage and its not always sex. I've talked to quite a few people who have had affairs and very rarely is it just sex. I just thought that mamas view was a little simplistic{no offense implied mama!}.In a perfect world if you are unhappy you should get out of the marriage before an affair. Lots of things go into destroying a marriage, sex is but one. If your marriage is a happy one to begin with no other person should be able to take you from it.
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I have a BIL who takes the cake....not only was he having an affair, his wife was in the hospital on bedrest, pregnant with their 2nd baby. Then, after the baby was born, he brought the mistress to the HOSPITAL and introduced her to the wife as a co-worker because she wanted to see the baby. AND, when the wife wants to name the baby "x" (don't want reveal names), the husband doesn't say anything, even though the mistress HAS THE SAME NAME!
Oh, and this all happened the end of Oct...wife found out about the affair, they separated, and the BIL brought the mistress to the family Thanksiving gathering!!
Yeah, it was interesting.
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There are certain things I only see in black or white
A. Cheating: If you cheat you are a piece of shit no matter what your reasons are
B. Abortion: It is murder no matter how you got pregnant
C. Death Penalty: We don't use it enough and I don't have any pity for the condemned
D. America: Greatest country on Earth and if you are an American and don't agree you should get your ass kicked out. :-)
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
I think there is probably more depth to these situations and people then you are giving them credit. There are a lot of marital vows that can be broken and many are or have been up until the point of infidelity by BOTH parties. I understand people as complicated emotional creatures. It is not a defense, but I do think you are being very simplistic about this issue.
And yes, I see this personal. My best friend was involved in something like this in her early 20's. She is NOT a piece of shit, nor has she never been such.
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Yes a cheating spouse is the definition of piece of shit. I never understood why people risk loosing their family, love, marriage, trust and friendships over sex.
Do you think these things happen in a vacuum mama? Do you really think people cheat just for sex?
Are you defending extra-marital affairs?
Acknowledging the depth of human psychology is not a defense of a behavior because of that psychology, free. We are all adults here and are capable of understanding the whys even if we don't approve of the results. It shouldn't scare anyone to say that sometimes affairs are born out of bad marriages. If anything, you would think acknowledging the marriage is bad would maybe burn a fire under one or both parties that it's time to put some work in and salvage it.
I'm not defending it either, I'm just not naive enough to think that affairs happen to good, healthy relationships or good, healthy people. I think usually one of those two things are broken. What mama describes is a broken person, but there are indeed broken relationships too. :fuelfire: :fuelfire: :-)
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We differ in opinions then. We were given free will for a reason. We choose what to do with ourselves. If you are sleeping with someone besides your spouse you are a piece of shit. Get a freaking divorce! It isn't that hard. It costs less than $1000 in most places and then you are free to bed whoever you want.
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There are certain things I only see in black or white
A. Cheating: If you cheat you are a piece of shit no matter what your reasons are
B. Abortion: It is murder no matter how you got pregnant
C. Death Penalty: We don't use it enough and I don't have any pity for the condemned
D. America: Greatest country on Earth and if you are an American and don't agree you should get your ass kicked out. :-)
Fair enough. I guess I'm always interested in getting to the heads of people who are there. It probably is good to know so we all know what to avoid in our marriages and make sure we are putting the work in. I know that was my point..knowing about something does not mean saying it is ok. There are lessons to be learned there, no matter your feeling on it.
and my best friend is still not a piece of shit, but of course I understand all the dynamics there and I also know this same 'piece of shit' did not choose to abort the product of that coupling and now has an almost 16 year old daughter who is an absolute delight. Ahh, well...life goes on.
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We differ in opinions then. We were given free will for a reason. We choose what to do with ourselves. If you are sleeping with someone besides your spouse you are a piece of shit. Get a freaking divorce! It isn't that hard. It costs less than $1000 in most places and then you are free to bed whoever you want.
Again, a simplistic view, but meh, you are entitled to it.
And you are leaning on Christian view of free will? I doubt Jesus sees even cheaters as 'pieces of shit', but hey, that's just me and I lean in the camp of contrition and forgiveness from the Savior, not endless apologies or justifications to imperfect men and women who by definition of sin are just as much 'pieces of shit' as any other sinner.
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We differ in opinions then. We were given free will for a reason. We choose what to do with ourselves. If you are sleeping with someone besides your spouse you are a piece of shit. Get a freaking divorce! It isn't that hard. It costs less than $1000 in most places and then you are free to bed whoever you want.
Actually mama! if you are a man in a divorce especially in my state you get ****ed six ways from sunday even if you were not the one cheating or even wanting the divorce to begin with. It will cost considerably more than $1000. Gotta love the no fault divorce laws. :whatever:
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ATTENTION MEN! This is why you should NEVER cheat on your wife. If you think she is crazy and bitter just wait a couple of months until skanky home wrecker shows her true colors. I have never met a home wrecker who wasn't a psycho bitch.
This ad cracked me up though......
Liberal Quicksand
Providing education on the dangers of Liberals and their policies.
It would seem a SPOUSE stepping out in a HAPPY marriage is a little unbalanced too wouldn't it?
but read the context though; they were both drunk and SHE made the first move.
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We differ in opinions then. We were given free will for a reason. We choose what to do with ourselves. If you are sleeping with someone besides your spouse you are a piece of shit. Get a freaking divorce! It isn't that hard. It costs less than $1000 in most places and then you are free to bed whoever you want.
Actually mama! if you are a man in a divorce especially in my state you get ****ed six ways from sunday even if you were not the one cheating or even wanting the divorce to begin with. It will cost considerably more than $1000. Gotta love the no fault divorce laws. :whatever:
Same here in the PRNY.
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ATTENTION MEN! This is why you should NEVER cheat on your wife. If you think she is crazy and bitter just wait a couple of months until skanky home wrecker shows her true colors. I have never met a home wrecker who wasn't a psycho bitch.
This ad cracked me up though......
Liberal Quicksand
Providing education on the dangers of Liberals and their policies.
It would seem a SPOUSE stepping out in a HAPPY marriage is a little unbalanced too wouldn't it?
but read the context though; they were both drunk and SHE made the first move.
I know the context of the story, but the comment i addressed was made generally and has been stood by in a general context--there were no ambiguities or allowances made for situations other then this one, in fact quite the opposite.
I'm sorry, but I do NOT believe everyone who cheats is a piece of shit because I know it is indeed not as black and white(the reasons why or leaving the reasons why) as stated here. I will continue to refute that and mama and I have agreed that we differ in opinion on it. It's all good.
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I have to agree with jtyangel on the issue in general. It's not always so black and white. I'm not excusing infidelity either. I'm merely acknowledging that sweeping proclamations don't always take everything into account. Yes, at the end of the day, the cheater is guilty of breaking their vows. But the dynamics of the marriage come into play. You cannot fathom the actions of another unless you are in their shoes.
On the specific DUmmie thread posted? She's a stalker and should back away slowly. Nothing good can come of this. And I do think he's no angel. Sounds like they both got down and dirty and he was looking for a fling with no strings attached and he got a a little more than he bargained for.
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Bi-baby commenting on this???? She who stole a married man and ended up driving another woman to near insanity commenting on this?
Yanno... Metal tastes like.... Sometimes it's Goldy; sometimes, it's bronzy; but this tastes... Irony.
Oh my yes.
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Another display of the lack of DUmmy integrity found here.
skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Sun Apr-13-08 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. I saw that up above after I posted
But you're still trailing him with emails. Why? He's made it very clear that he's not playing so why keep poking at it?
And I'm just sick and twisted enough to ask - this isn't Catsbrains' husband, is it?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7652554
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No discussion whatsoever over there of the moral aspects of the situation or how it might effect this guys wife. Nothing but a cost/benefit analysis for the DUmmy. How typically DU.
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Acknowledging the depth of human psychology is not a defense of a behavior because of that psychology, free. We are all adults here and are capable of understanding the whys even if we don't approve of the results. It shouldn't scare anyone to say that sometimes affairs are born out of bad marriages. If anything, you would think acknowledging the marriage is bad would maybe burn a fire under one or both parties that it's time to put some work in and salvage it.
I'm not defending it either, I'm just not naive enough to think that affairs happen to good, healthy relationships or good, healthy people. I think usually one of those two things are broken. What mama describes is a broken person, but there are indeed broken relationships too.
I must agree with you with all respect for anyone else's opinion on this subject. An affair doesn't guarantee the end of a marriage, but starkly indicates a serious problem with the relationship or the perpetrator.
AFA this DUmmie is concerned; she needs to leave the guy alone. She's already made a complete ass of herself and should be content with that.
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Dang that is seriously wrong. The ad the page put up was "Mate1"... my question Mate1 what? a psycho?
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Really, there is NO excuse for an affair. I've been a child in those circumstances and if you have NO respect/love for your spouse, for the love of God at least think of your children. Why not employee the same effort to save a marriage that was loving enough (at least at one time) to produce children? If there aren't kids no harm, no foul...just go your separate ways. But DO have enough respect for your children to wait before you introduce them to the skank (or whatever the male equivalent) that got between you and your family.
Marriage today is treated like super-exclusive dating instead of covenant between two people. You don't even have to be a Christian to believe it's sacred. It is, after all, the foundation on which society is built. Just look at what's left of inner city black families. Democrats thought nothing of splitting up slave families and they don't seem to have any more respect for them now because they actually facilitate a situation where they no longer even put the effort forth to BE a family. That is the most broken segment of our country and it's very sad because it seems once that road has been crossed you can't go back. And these Christians for the most part.
Morals matter. I don't care how big of a harpy (or wimp or whatever) the person you married is...you made a choice. Get a divorce before you dip the stick (or are the dipee). At least your children will see you had a modicum of respect for the family unit you brought them into. Divorce is hard enough on children and they absorb more than people think. I just don't get it. It's such selfish behavior. No excuse is good enough to justify trashing what should be sacred vows.
Cindie
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Bi-baby commenting on this???? She who stole a married man and ended up driving another woman to near insanity commenting on this?
Yanno... Metal tastes like.... Sometimes it's Goldy; sometimes, it's bronzy; but this tastes... Irony.
*Red*
Hey Red, good to see ya back again!
And this DU thread is one for the archives of pathetic, fer sure. Life imitates art....well, if the Jerry Springer Show was actually art.
:popcorn:
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Umm..you all do realize this thread is over a year old right? :uhsure:
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Umm..you all do realize this thread is over a year old right? :uhsure:
I wanted to say that, but couldn't find the right way to remind others.
The lapse is wholly mine.
I was looking around for old observances of a particular threesome that's now two and one.
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Really, there is NO excuse for an affair. I've been a child in those circumstances and if you have NO respect/love for your spouse, for the love of God at least think of your children. Why not employee the same effort to save a marriage that was loving enough (at least at one time) to produce children? If there aren't kids no harm, no foul...just go your separate ways. But DO have enough respect for your children to wait before you introduce them to the skank (or whatever the male equivalent) that got between you and your family.
Marriage today is treated like super-exclusive dating instead of covenant between two people. You don't even have to be a Christian to believe it's sacred. It is, after all, the foundation on which society is built. Just look at what's left of inner city black families. Democrats thought nothing of splitting up slave families and they don't seem to have any more respect for them now because they actually facilitate a situation where they no longer even put the effort forth to BE a family. That is the most broken segment of our country and it's very sad because it seems once that road has been crossed you can't go back. And these Christians for the most part.
Morals matter. I don't care how big of a harpy (or wimp or whatever) the person you married is...you made a choice. Get a divorce before you dip the stick (or are the dipee). At least your children will see you had a modicum of respect for the family unit you brought them into. Divorce is hard enough on children and they absorb more than people think. I just don't get it. It's such selfish behavior. No excuse is good enough to justify trashing what should be sacred vows.
Cindie
Lotsa ways to "trash vows" cheating is but one!
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Umm..you all do realize this thread is over a year old right? :uhsure:
LOL! I sure got punked.
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Okay, it's time I put my two cents in here.
I've been married for 36 years. It has not always been cream and sugar. We had a falling out about 20 years ago. Contrary to Mama, it had nothing to do with sex. Sex was the one thing we have always had, mostly because my enjoyment comes from her's, unlike many of the assholes that merely worry about themselves, roll over and fall asleep.
No, what we were missing was the togetherness we had when we were young. Eventually we worked it out. Mainly BECAUSE of the children. No man or woman is perfect. There are many bumps in the road of life. We, managed to smooth them out but, we all have our faults. The point is, it was NOT the sex we lacked, it was more of a spiritual nature.
I am happy to say that "Toots" is, and will always be, the apple of my eye. Sometimes couples get blinded to what they have. It's very hard to find your soul mate. We tend to forget that in the scheme of things. One can easily get bored if you both don't pay attention. It is something you have to work on together. We are now inseparable, for a while back then, it was a toss up.
Stalking like this loony tune is doing, is another matter. She just has not yet found her soul mate and is trying to invent one. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.
edited 'cause i can't spelle for shit!
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I wanted to say that, but couldn't find the right way to remind others.
The lapse is wholly mine.
I was looking around for old observances of a particular threesome that's now two and one.
The battle between the sexes is timeless, Coach.
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Umm..you all do realize this thread is over a year old right? :uhsure:
No, and I fall for Frank's love of dredging the river for old news all too often, I'm afraid. If someone is going to bring zombie threads back to life, it would be nice to identify them as last year's re-gifted fruitcake in the title or put in a separate sub-division of the sewer for those interested in archaeology.
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No, and I fall for Frank's love of dredging the river for old news all too often, I'm afraid. If someone is going to bring zombie threads back to life, it would be nice to identify them as last year's re-gifted fruitcake in the title or put in a separate sub-division of the sewer for those interested in archaeology.
Right, sir, because I don't like unpleasant surprises myself.
The next time I do that, I'll clearly identify it; but I saw this and was in a haste to get it going, and couldn't in a hurry figure out what to do.
But yeah, I don't mean to deceive, and will figure out something for future use.
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No, and I fall for Frank's love of dredging the river for old news all too often, I'm afraid. If someone is going to bring zombie threads back to life, it would be nice to identify them as last year's re-gifted fruitcake in the title or put in a separate sub-division of the sewer for those interested in archaeology.
C'mon Tank, still gave us a helluva topic to discuss. Nothin' wrong with wallowing in the pathetic crap the DUmp brings us. Kinda reminds us of why we use them as an ant farm. lol!
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C'mon Tank, still gave us a helluva topic to discuss. Nothin' wrong with wallowing in the pathetic crap the DUmp brings us. Kinda reminds us of why we use them as an ant farm. lol!
But Tanker's right, sir; it was just that I was in a hurry.
I think I shall add something to the original title if I archaeologize something, indicating its antiquity.
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C'mon Tank, still gave us a helluva topic to discuss. Nothin' wrong with wallowing in the pathetic crap the DUmp brings us. Kinda reminds us of why we use them as an ant farm. lol!
Oh, I grant you it is a spectacle of deviant thinking on parade, worthy of preservation as an archetype of "Insane woman writing," its tailfeathers spread as widely as sub-humanly possible, no doubt about that! And BTW, no offense intended, Frank.
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But Tanker's right, sir; it was just that I was in a hurry.
I think I shall add something to the original title if I archaeologize something, indicating its antiquity.
Probly a good idea Coach. However, I am of the belief that DUmmies and their escapades are timeless! Heh, heh!
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Probly a good idea Coach. However, I am of the belief that DUmmies and their escapades are timeless! Heh, heh!
Of course they're timeless.
But in this case, this had been originally posted by a member here who's been dealing with things in real life (good things and bad things), and so who's been absent for a while. And then there's a couple of others with similar cases.
It gave the erroneous impression these members were back.
They'll be back, but they're not back yet.
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Of course they're timeless.
But in this case, this had been originally posted by a member here who's been dealing with things in real life (good things and bad things), and so who's been absent for a while. And then there's a couple of others with similar cases.
It gave the erroneous impression these members were back.
They'll be back, but they're not back yet.
Ahhh! I understand now.