The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on March 20, 2011, 04:51:12 PM
-
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x86096
Oh my.
It's an early spring late afternoon, and I just came back inside and was wondering what acts of treason, sedition, and stupidities the cooking and baking primitives were up to.
This campfire's a little old, but still burning. I have no idea how I managed to miss it until just now.
hippywife (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:23 PM
MRS. ALFRED PACKER
Original message
No dinner for me tonight.
Not because I can't eat, just because I don't wanna. Life keeps handing this former city girl new challenges all the time. Today I was in a lovely museum enjoying a couple of new exhibits, and this evening I found myself oiling my fingers and sticking them up a chicken's butt.
It didn't make me sick or even nauseous, I just can't bring myself to find anything terribly appetizing at the moment. Bill has agreed to fix his own simple dinner tonight.
Seriously though, we think she's egg-bound but I couldn't find anything so hard to know. I hope she will be okay by morning. But she may very well be dead. If she's still alive but not any better, Bill is going to put her down.
One suspects Wild Bill's going to put the poor chicken down, because he had to fix his own supper all because of it.
grasswire (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:33 PM
THE PIE-AND-JAM FARMERETTE PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
1. oh a LIVE chicken
Oh dear. Poor thing. Poor you and poor her.
It all puts a new meaning to, uh, chicken being "finger-lickin' good."
Denninmi (677 posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'm sorry. Been there, done that.
If they're egg bound, it's usually pretty easy to tell once you do the "exam".
I guess you probably already know this, but for those that don't, if you have a sick bird and don't know what the specific problem is, the best you can do is keep the bird warm, give it vitamins and electrolyte solution, antibiotics if you have them, and hope for the best.
I hope she pulls through for you. I've done the above treatment to birds that looked bad, and they perked up considerably overnight. Of course, some haven't made it, as you know.
hippywife (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:42 PM
MRS. ALFRED PACKER
Response to Reply #2
4. I'm just really amazed that in the four or five years we've been keeping chickens, this is the first time this has happened. I couldn't feel a thing, nor could I feel anything farther up when palpating her belly. Could be something else, but the symptoms are so classic, it's hard to think that's not what it is. I couldn't get my finger any further, so we're just going to have to wait and see what happens. When I was massaging her belly some white thick stuff did release, so who knows.
They aren't exactly pets but we don't butcher them. Did a rooster once, but the hens get to live as long as they will.
Warpy (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:36 PM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
3. Raising livestock animals is not for the faint hearted or squeamish but putting her down is probably the best policy if she's that poorly. She'll be honored tomorrow by turning her into a fine Sunday dinner.
It's just hard doing it to a critter you know. It's why I don't have that backyard sheep for my spinning and weaving. Too many hard decisions have to be made. Well, and I'm too past it to wrestle one around at shearing time.
My next door neighbor lets her hens die of old age and cussedness long after they stop laying. I'm not convinced that's particularly humane, either. Old age aint for sissies and a quick death followed by a chicken stew might be preferable, even to the chicken.
hippywife (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:44 PM
MRS. ALFRED PACKER
Response to Reply #3
6. Well, on the off chance that she isn't egg bound, we don't want to cook and eat her since we won't know what's wrong with her. We usually don't eat our hens, anyway. And ours will live as long as they are doing well, laying eggs or no.
Warpy (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:49 PM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #6
7. Proper cooking (and I'd use the pressure cooker for an old hen) will kill anything contagious except prion diseases and chickens don't live long enough to accumulate a lot of prions and besides, you don't eat the brains, anyway.
I grew up watching my sweet old granny off her chickens for Sunday dinners, so I'm OK with the concept.
trud (404 posts) Sun Mar-06-11 05:05 AM
Response to Reply #3
9. what are your plans for your old age, warpy?
Warpy (1000+ posts) Sun Mar-06-11 07:56 PM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #9
17. I'm going to be a recluse who only comes out on Halloween to scare children.
You?
I dunno; the defrocked warped primitive, who's 100% femme alas has the body and shoulders of a football defensive back and considerable body hair, probably already scares children.
It appears from clues in further comments by Mrs. Alfred Packer that hippyhubby Wild Bill got the chicken dinner he wanted.
-
I'm a city person so someone needs to explain why her hand was up there and what the heck is being egg-bound but not finding anything up there? I thought chickens just laid eggs?
And poor chicken!
-
I'm a city person so someone needs to explain why her hand was up there and what the heck is being egg-bound but not finding anything up there? I thought chickens just laid eggs?
And poor chicken!
The chicken had an egg stuck up its ass and Mrs. Alfred Packer was trying to pull it out.
Apparently it didn't work.
-
The chicken had an egg stuck up its ass and Mrs. Alfred Packer was trying to pull it out.
Apparently it didn't work.
Oh jeez! if a chicken has an egg stuck how do you know?
BTW frank, this is a nice break from Nadinmania.
-
Oh jeez! if a chicken has an egg stuck how do you know?
BTW frank, this is a nice break from Nadinmania.
A chicken with an egg inside that won't come out is reminescent of a primitive running around trying desperately to expel from his intestines, but it won't come out.
I give you Pedro Picasso as the classic example; his retention of anal matter is extraordinary.
-
:lmao:
-
Someone needs to introduce that chicken to DUmmy benburch.
-
Someone needs to introduce that chicken to DUmmy benburch.
But hippyhubby Wild Bill probably already ate it.
He wanted something different for dinner, different from his usual fare.
-
But hippyhubby Wild Bill probably already ate it.
Sooner or later, every Packer pet suffers the same fate. I think that's why hippywife (sic) goes through 25 pounds of flour with her baking every week. She's trying to save the puppies.
-
I'm a city person so someone needs to explain why her hand was up there and what the heck is being egg-bound but not finding anything up there? I thought chickens just laid eggs?
And poor chicken!
It's something you have to do once in a while. An egg will get stuck and you have to stick a finger in and break it then very gently pull the shell out. The other thing that happens is a prolapsed vent from pushing the egg out too are (the equivalent of getting hemorrhoids from pushing a baby out really hard) and you have to stick the part that's sticking back in.
The chickens don't mind, especially if you think about the size of a finger in relation to the egg.
Chicken trivia: The longer an egg takes to get through the birth canal, the darker the egg will be. Kinda like the chicken version of spray paint.
Cindie
-
It's something you have to do once in a while. An egg will get stuck and you have to stick a finger in and break it then very gently pull the shell out. The other thing that happens is a prolapsed vent from pushing the egg out too are (the equivalent of getting hemorrhoids from pushing a baby out really hard) and you have to stick the part that's sticking back in.
The chickens don't mind, especially if you think about the size of a finger in relation to the egg.
Well, madam, my dear delilah, that told me, uh, rather more than I wanted to learn.
-
Warpy (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:36 PM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
3. Raising livestock animals is not for the faint hearted or squeamish but putting her down is probably the best policy if she's that poorly. She'll be honored tomorrow by turning her into a fine Sunday dinner.
I know someone who is "that poorly"...her name is bobolink...she is rather rancid via her very own self-ordained existence.
Fine Sunday dinner?
Maybe for the homeless DUmmy crew sitting down on the corner...
Me? Burger King XTB burger will suffice...
-
hippywife (1000+ posts) Sat Mar-05-11 06:23 PM
MRS. ALFRED PACKER
Original message
No dinner for me tonight.
Not because I can't eat, just because I don't wanna. Life keeps handing this former city girl new challenges all the time. Today I was in a lovely museum enjoying a couple of new exhibits, and this evening I found myself oiling my fingers and sticking them up a chicken's butt.
Good Lord!!!111
Hatchet - meet chicken's neck. It's just that simple.
-
I'm a city person so someone needs to explain why her hand was up there and what the heck is being egg-bound but not finding anything up there? I thought chickens just laid eggs?
And poor chicken!
Fetish...
Now close your mind... :-)
-
It's something you have to do once in a while. An egg will get stuck and you have to stick a finger in and break it then very gently pull the shell out. The other thing that happens is a prolapsed vent from pushing the egg out too are (the equivalent of getting hemorrhoids from pushing a baby out really hard) and you have to stick the part that's sticking back in.
The chickens don't mind, especially if you think about the size of a finger in relation to the egg.
Chicken trivia: The longer an egg takes to get through the birth canal, the darker the egg will be. Kinda like the chicken version of spray paint.
Cindie
Unfortunately, there are things I have read that I cannot unread.
"Finger in a chicken's butt".
Mental images that will never go away... :-)
-
ewwwwwww just get another damn chicken and let that one explode
-
Well, madam, my dear delilah, that told me, uh, rather more than I wanted to learn.
But Frank, you know you have to learn something new every day. This was it.
-
But Frank, you know you have to learn something new every day. This was it.
Me also Karin, I raised if you want to call it that, chickens and have never heard of this.
Tell you the truth all we did with them was give them a nesting area and an in closed area so they could semi-range outside and when the bugs got bad we turned them loose in the barn yard. Good DE buggers those critters are, they are Conniver's you know.
Chickens are nasty, we had to rake and clean out the pens and nesting area every 3 days keep their water fresh every day as they did tend to poop in it and feed the suckers and hope they did not poop in it. The hay or straw we changed in their nests once a week and kept a shot gun handy at the door in case some varmint decided to find a way in to eat the chickens.
I never paid that much attention to a chickens anatomy, I would have no idea where to stick anything to break a egg inside one.
-
I too learned more than I ever wanted to in this almost 2 full pages of thread.
PG: What has been seen...
:rotf:
-
Constipated chicken.....wonder if EX-LAX might work.
You know, chickens do get so old they stop laying...then it's chop-chop time.
....and chickens taste like chicken.
-
What an eggxtraordinary thread.
-
BS for the extremely corny joke. :lmao:
-
What an eggxtraordinary thread.
:lmao:
I love puns and that totally cracked me up!
-
BS for the extremely corny joke. :lmao:
Not nice to BS over a cute yolk!
-
Not nice to BS over a cute yolk!
It was bad, but omelet it slide.
-
It was bad, but omelet it slide.
:lmao:
-
It was bad, but omelet it slide.
:lmao: WINNING at punning!
-
trud (404 posts) Sun Mar-06-11 05:05 AM
Response to Reply #3
9. what are your plans for your old age, warpy?
Warpy (1000+ posts) Sun Mar-06-11 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #9
17. I'm going to be a recluse who only comes out on Halloween to scare children.
You?
Sounds like Halloween everyday then.
-
:lmao: WINNING at punning!
Gina, your tie-in of Charlie Sheen into this thread has cracked my shell of indifference.
-
Not nice to BS over a cute yolk!
One ain't gonna hurt, Bally. I say that because that's all I've ever given him :p
-
Gina, your tie-in of Charlie Sheen into this thread has cracked my shell of indifference.
Yes, Charlie's brain is fried but it's his messages that are really scrambled. The women he frequents tend to be a bit over easy and I hear his favorite position is sunny side up.
-
Does scrambled eggs = abortion in chicken years?
-
Well, madam, my dear delilah, that told me, uh, rather more than I wanted to learn.
I knew there was a reason I don't raise chickens!!!! If the mules or horses need such a thing, I call the damn Vet!
I'd just 'wack" the chicken and buy another, before I'd do that!
-
Perhaps the primative OP should change her user name to Mrs. Chicken Packer, or Mrs. Alfred Poker. O-)
-
ewwwwwww just get another damn chicken and let that one explode
It'd be better to kill it. An egg bound hen is in a great deal of pain. I just couldn't let any animal suffer like that.
Cindie
-
It'd be better to kill it. An egg bound hen is in a great deal of pain. I just couldn't let any animal suffer like that.
Cindie
Yes, you are correct.
Accept a H5 for that.
-
It'd be better to kill it. An egg bound hen is in a great deal of pain. I just couldn't let any animal suffer like that.
Cindie
Yep! Off with her head! Isn't it pretty normal if a hen starts havin' trouble they will continue to have the same prob and more often in the future, Cin?