The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on March 15, 2011, 01:48:26 PM

Title: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: bijou on March 15, 2011, 01:48:26 PM
(http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2011/03/14/article-1300121690760-0B2B4A3A00000578-466982_466x310.jpg)

Quote
The knee and ankle-length zip-up hoof shoes were commissioned by betting company Betfair to celebrate 100 years of the festival, which starts tomorrow.

The horseshoes are being sold for £1,300 a pair, with all proceeds going to charity.

Each shoe is made using an imitation carbon-fibre hoof and up to 5,000 individual horse hairs stitched into a knee-length (55cm) or ankle-length (25cm) design.

Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/858061-horse-shoes-for-humans-are-hot-to-trot-at-cheltenham-festival#ixzz1GhBKKDU6

I bet if you haggled on the price you could nail down a bargain.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 01:50:17 PM
Ain't that just a kick in the ass.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 01:50:43 PM
yeah, but whoof would be buying something like that anyway?

Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: FreeBorn on March 15, 2011, 01:51:27 PM
Those are fugly. Probably be all the rage around Berkeley and San FranFreako.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 01:51:28 PM
That particular color is a ringer, though, I have to say.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 01:51:57 PM
yeah, but whoof would be buying something like that anyway?



Maybe they just want to look hot to trot!
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 01:52:52 PM
Maybe they just want to look hot to trot!

Can'ter they just take it like it is?
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: bijou on March 15, 2011, 02:03:35 PM
yeah, but whoof would be buying something like that anyway?


Well there in lies a tail.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 02:05:30 PM
Well there in lies a tail.

Maybe they were going to a bridle party?
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: dutch508 on March 15, 2011, 02:14:45 PM
This just in: High-Heels for Furries all the rage at Brit Git Get-together. Film at eleven.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: bijou on March 15, 2011, 02:20:11 PM
Maybe they were going to a bridle party?
I suspect that was the mane reason.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 02:28:15 PM
This is a bit story with very little substance.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: FreeBorn on March 15, 2011, 02:35:24 PM
I wonder if they come in a Belgian Draught Horse Moo-chelle size?
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 02:59:13 PM
Let's rein in the puns. It's getting to the point where bijou's getting pommeled by all the merry-making.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 03:06:13 PM
Let's rein in the puns. It's getting to the point where bijou's getting pommeled by all the merry-making.

You sayin you want me to harness my punnyness?  Well, ain't that a load of manure.  Horse-pucky I say!
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: DixieBelle on March 15, 2011, 03:21:49 PM
Neigh!!! I bet Sarah Jessica Parker would wear them. :-)
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 03:25:18 PM
Neigh!!! I bet Sarah Jessica Parker would wear them. :-)

Yeah, I didn't think of her, silly little filly that she is.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 03:47:58 PM
You sayin you want me to harness my punnyness?  Well, ain't that a load of manure.  Horse-pucky I say!

Your comment is quite tacky, m'dear.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 03:50:09 PM
Your comment is quite tacky, m'dear.

Can't help it.  Sometimes I have to stirrup stuff up. 
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: bijou on March 15, 2011, 03:50:45 PM
Your comment is quite tacky, m'dear.
That's unkind. I think you are trying to stirrup trouble.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 03:51:49 PM
Well, now that I'm getting beat up by both of you, mebbe it's time for me to saddle up and head outta town!  :rotf:
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 03:52:55 PM
Well, now that I'm getting beat up by both of you, mebbe it's time for me to saddle up and head outta town!  :rotf:


Whoa!  Same pun at the same second!  Giddy-up now, go on!   :tongue:
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 03:55:59 PM
You can be awful colt (<shivers>) in your delivery sometimes, Tots.

Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:01:50 PM
It's time to rein in the puns.....
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:02:20 PM
It's time to rein in the puns.....

bitchslapped for repeating a pun that's already been said.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:03:33 PM
bitchslapped for repeating a pun that's already been said.

Hmmm, I must have missed the rodeo on that pun
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:05:11 PM
bitchslapped for repeating a pun that's already been said.

Your BS  was felt in my withers  :bird:
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:05:46 PM
Hay! All we need is a crop of oats, and the horses will be fine.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:06:44 PM
Hay! All we need is a crop of oats, and the horses will be fine.

Careful, too much horse feed and it will founder.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:07:55 PM
Uh.....dontcha mean fodder?
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:09:59 PM
No, I meant "founder". Don't get froggy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_hoof) with me damned city boy.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:11:54 PM
No, I meant "founder". Don't get froggy with me damned city boy.

If it weren't for us damned city boys, you'd still be mucking out stables.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 04:12:24 PM
Hay! All we need is a crop of oats, and the horses will be fine.

Well pony up bub!
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:13:48 PM
If it weren't for us damned city boys, you'd still be mucking out stables.

It wouldn't be the first time. Quit trying to out flank me other wise I'm going to have to spur you out of here.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:14:44 PM
Well pony up bub!

Can't. Damned farrier and vet bills have bloated me out.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 04:15:36 PM
It wouldn't be the first time. Quit trying to out flank me other wise I'm going to have to spur you out of here.

You sound like you think this one's a cinch.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:17:20 PM
There's a cure for the bloat and/or colic..... it's called a walker (http://www.southernhorsewalkers.com/) and then you can head back to the stall.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:18:25 PM
It wouldn't be the first time. Quit trying to out flank me other wise I'm going to have to spur you out of here.

You're too late. I've already saddled up and am headin' outta town. So stop hitchin' on my britches, dood, or I'll havta whack you with my saddlebags.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:19:34 PM
You're too late. I've already saddled up and am headin' outta town. So stop hitchin' on my britches, dood, or I'll havta whack you with my saddlebags.

At a trot or a gallup??
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 04:20:04 PM
You're too late. I've already saddled up and am headin' outta town. So stop hitchin' on my britches, dood, or I'll havta whack you with my saddlebags.

 :bawl:

and here I thought you were a stud....
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:20:31 PM
There's a cure for the bloat and/or colic..... it's called a walker (http://www.southernhorsewalkers.com/) and then you can head back to the stall.

There's a better cure.

A .45 slug from a Colt Peacemaker. Lights out, baby! Now stop that whinny. It just doesn't look good when you do that.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:21:19 PM
:bawl:

and here I thought you were a stud....

Nope, I've been rendered studless. Not quite a gelding, but close.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:22:03 PM
At a trot or a gallup??

A nice gentle "**** you" canter.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 04:24:26 PM
A nice gentle "**** you" canter.

All the way out the gait???
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:25:46 PM
All the way out the gait???

Yeah, until he's hobbled. Gotta do that, yunno. Otherwise they spook and you're left holding the feed bag.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:30:54 PM
A nice gentle "**** you" canter.

BS for using an previously used pun.

We can always fix your studliness by using an emasculator (http://jupitervetproducts.com/j37jvpjupiterssemasculatorwithblade.aspx) or has Mrs E already done that ??  :popcorn:


I'll grab a twitch and that'll help during the procedure
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:33:18 PM
BS for using an previously used pun.

We can always fix your studliness by using an emasculator (http://jupitervetproducts.com/j37jvpjupiterssemasculatorwithblade.aspx) or has Mrs E already done that ??  :popcorn:


I'll grab a twitch and that'll help during the procedure

Not quite, you silly foal.

I used "Can'ter" the first time and "canter" the second time. Bitchslapped for failing to see the difference.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 04:34:52 PM
This thread has turned in to a big ole pile of manure. 

 :pokingpoop:
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:35:16 PM
Not quite, you silly foal.

I used "Can'ter" the first time and "canter" the second time. Bitchslapped for failing to see the difference.


Semantics....... it's still the same. Besides, don't horse around with a cowboy or I'll get my quirt after you.....:wink:
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:36:06 PM
Semantics....... it's still the same. Besides, don't horse around with a cowboy or I'll get my quirt after you.....:wink:

Don't make promises you can't keep, pitchfork breath.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 04:37:00 PM
This thread has turned in to a big ole pile of manure. 

 :pokingpoop:

yeah, Thor came in and lamed it up pretty good.

 :-)
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: bijou on March 15, 2011, 04:40:57 PM
This thread has turned in to a big ole pile of manure. 

 :pokingpoop:
It does need whipping into shape.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 04:41:20 PM
Yeah, I can see that it's become quite the steeplechase for you. However, I really don't want to stifle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stifle) you.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: thundley4 on March 15, 2011, 07:46:32 PM
The puns are getting saddle worn, time to latigo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latigo) .
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: DixieBelle on March 15, 2011, 07:55:28 PM
Keep it up and this thread will end up in the glue factory. :-)
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: FreeBorn on March 15, 2011, 08:27:47 PM
Doh! Somebody put their hoof & mouth...
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 15, 2011, 08:35:08 PM
Time to put it out to pasture.  This one's done.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 15, 2011, 08:52:58 PM
You know, these puns wouldn't be so bad if we all had at least one blinder on. That way we could look around each other in circles.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 15, 2011, 09:51:33 PM
 :beathorse:
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: IassaFTots on March 16, 2011, 07:47:56 AM
:beathorse:

Ain't no reason to beat a dead horse.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 16, 2011, 08:25:40 AM
:beathorse:

Oh, I think there's a lot of life left in this thread. We just have to be stubborn as a mule.
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Thor on March 16, 2011, 08:58:06 AM
Oh, I think there's a lot of life left in this thread. We just have to be stubborn as a mule.

Oh, don't be an ass........
Title: Re: Horse shoes for humans are hot to trot at Cheltenham Festival
Post by: Eupher on March 16, 2011, 11:38:40 AM
Oh, don't be an ass........

Can't help it - it just comes naturally. Sorta like fetlocks.