The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: dandi on January 11, 2011, 11:22:14 AM
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Trig Palin Picks Nose: Legislation Proposed
dandiNewsAssoc.
By Joseph Stalling
Jan. 12, 2011
All Rights Reserved
Scores of Progressive bloggers decended on the sleepy town of Wasilla, Alaska today in response to a controversial photo making its rounds on the internet of two-year-old Trig Palin engaged in what has been described as a "blatant and provocative probing of his right nasal passage". This writer caught up with some of these investigative journalists at a local coffee house and head shop to gauge reaction to this latest affront.
"Family values, my ass," intoned Moon Stoner of www.****everyone.com. "After telling everyone else how to raise their children, Palin can't even stop her own from mining dried mucus in public? What a whore!" Bertha Dykes, administrator of www.womynsrightsandlefts.com, offered, "Sarah Palin should be staying at home and taking care of her family, raising her kids. That's her main responsibility. She has no business out traveling...speaking...making her views known...but that's how these Palins are, and now you see the consequences."
The main point of contention seemed to be though, that he not only picked it, he flicked it. "This is the kind of g** d*** f****** s*** that says, 'Aggression and violence against others is good'" declared Willy Stryker, columnist for www.reasoneddiscourse.com. "By allowing Fig or Trog or whatever the f****** crotch-dropping's name is to fire semi-hardened nose debris at random, the b**** is symbolically encouraging aggression and assault on the part of her f******-up minions against peaceful and reasonable liberals like myself, and anyone who doesn't like that can suck my c****. Not that there's anything wrong with that s***, I'm just turning the tables on the homophobes. Or something."
Pressed as to why a toddler should be attacked so viciously, given a child's natural lack of guile, Neal and Bob Alott of www.democratsundertheground.com opined, "Hey, Caribou Barbie put him in the spotlight. We hold no responsibility whatsoever for our actions beyond that. She made him fair game, using him as a prop, carrying him around with her instead of keeping him at home locked in a closet, like all those funny-looking kids like him ought to be. She has no one to blame but herself. We would have had him aborted, but she obviously didn't care about his well-being. Giving him birth. Knowing he would be exposed to people like us. It's the ultimate in insensitivity."
Nor were the modern-day Edward R. Murrows of the Left the only ones affected. U.S. Rep. Usa Crysis (D-Mass) introduced new legislation into commitee. Labeled the Pick Acts, Crysis described the new laws as, "an effort to curtail this dogwhistle behavior of Republican crumbsnatchers against the pure and innocent liberals of this great nation."
"Today it is boogers. Tomorrow it may be bricks, bullets and bombs. Some people may call it an overreaction, but it's snot."
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I don't care how hard you flick nor carefully you measure the moisture content of your boogers for "Stickability", you can't make 'em stick on DUmmies....DUmmies are just to slimey.
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Even boogers don't like dummies
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Wholly shit Dandi! Ya need to publish that shit! You'd sell more in an hour than ShitStain has sold in his entire life!
^5!!
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That was too funny. :rofl:
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Neal Allot and Bob Allot! :lmao: :rotf: That was fantastic! Like the Parody at the end of each Weekly Standard. You could get a job there.
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I loved Rep. Usa Crysis.
:rofl:
H5
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Dandi, sir, I'd buy you a beer (but not one for myself, as I'm clean and sober almost 15 months). H5 given. That is great. You ought to email that to Hannity or Rush and see if they read it as a satire on the Left.
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Excellent work you mouth breathing racist killer.
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Ha ha h5
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Dandi, sir, I'd buy you a beer (but not one for myself, as I'm clean and sober almost 15 months). H5 given. That is great. You ought to email that to Hannity or Rush and see if they read it as a satire on the Left.
Funny, I never figured ya for a quitter!!! lol!
If I didn't have my scotch, DUmmies would be in trouble!
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Funny, I never figured ya for a quitter!!!
I turn into a truly evil person around alcohol. I won't say any more.
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HI5, dandi.
And I do think you ought to send this out to those "vitriolic, mouthbreathing right wing radio hosts" (DUmmie droppings have now ceased being channeled).
You really should send this out. Even if it's never read on air I bet Rush and the others would get a much needed belly laugh. None of these unfounded accusations against them can be making them feel very good. I would think there's only so much unfounded abuse even a thick skinned person can take.
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:lmao:
H5!
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I turn into a truly evil person around alcohol. I won't say any more.
'Bout the only thing that gets my dander up is TaKillYa! I'm absolutely sure the stuff is made just to piss me off! Otherwise I pretty much just mellow out. As long as I stay away from it, I'm pretty much a happy drunk. Unless one of my critters kicks my ass, then he/she and I have to have a talk about how ya don't kick the hand/arm/leg that feeds ya! hehe!
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Bravo!!
I am going to have to share this one. :lmao:
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Bravo!!
I am going to have to share this one. :lmao:
Heh, I've already sent it to everyone I know! I'm gonna post it on the Bulletin Board down out the local feed store this afternoon! It's where all us gun totin' rednecks communicate! heh!
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I didn't read it the first time. That was just biblical. :cheersmate:
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Heh, I've already sent it to everyone I know! I'm gonna post it on the Bulletin Board down out the local feed store this afternoon! It's where all us gun totin' rednecks communicate! heh!
As you post this on your bulletin board, Allo, ask everyone reading it to pick at least one booger in solidarity with Trig. :cheersmate:
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As you post this on your bulletin board, Allo, ask everyone reading it to pick at least one booger in solidarity with Trig. :cheersmate:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!
If I did that the board would be so full 'o boogers we couldn't read who had the next litter of piglets for sale!
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"Today it is boogers. Tomorrow it may be bricks, bullets and bombs. Some people may call it an overreaction, but it's snot."
Classic, dude. Just classic.