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The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Doc on December 12, 2010, 08:27:29 PM

Title: Densest Element in Universe Discovered
Post by: Doc on December 12, 2010, 08:27:29 PM
Pelosium:

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named Pelosium.  Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.

Source:  Reader humor section - American Journal of Physics


doc
Title: Re: Densest Element in Universe Discovered
Post by: Eupher on December 12, 2010, 08:30:57 PM
I'd seen that before, but it's always good to repeat it on occasion.  :lmao:
Title: Re: Densest Element in Universe Discovered
Post by: true_blood on December 12, 2010, 08:53:11 PM
 :rotf: :-)
Title: Re: Densest Element in Universe Discovered
Post by: Boudicca on December 12, 2010, 10:26:39 PM
 :lmao:
Title: Re: Densest Element in Universe Discovered
Post by: DefiantSix on December 13, 2010, 02:10:16 PM
Pelosium:
...The symbol of Pelosium is PU...

I know of someone who can find a use for Pelosium, at least the PU-86 isotope of Pelosium, anyway.
(http://www.critical-end.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Marvin-Wallpaper-marvin-the-martian-742220_1024_768.jpg)