The Conservative Cave

Interests => All Things Edible (and how to prepare them) => Topic started by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 01:31:09 PM

Title: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 01:31:09 PM
I am the chairman of the Fellowship Committee, which is a euphemism for "he who gets to cook for us at church a lot and work his ass off in the process".

My tenure in this position is rapidly coming to a close, as I have been serving on Session (the church council) for almost 3 years - an entire term.

At any rate, I am tired and want to move on, but the last great major hurdle to leap over is the church Thanksgiving meal, which we're having tomorrow.

Mrs E and I ordered up a whole hog about a month ago or so, so I'm taking one of the hams (a big bastard at 17 lbs, btw) and have done a few things to it - brined it overnight (the brine is a mixture of kosher salt, brown sugar, mustard seed, red pepper flakes, bay leaves, and a cinnamon stick) and then started roasting it late this morning.

But not before preparing a rub, which is essentially a paste of EVOO, an entire bulb of garlic cloves, whole grain mustard (okay, I cheated and used Dijon), a large handful of Italian parsley, sage, salt and pepper; pulsing that in a food processor, then smearing that all over the ham.

In the bottom of the roaster went two large Spanish onions, cut in wedges, along with about 2 cups of apple cider.

The ham goes on the top of the onion/cider mixture and gets blasted in a 425 deg. oven for 30 minutes, before cranking down to 325 for probably 5 hours or so.

The last two hours of roasting, I take the half gallon of cider that I'd reduced down to about a pint (OMG, the apple flavor is enough to knock your socks off) and brush it on the nicely-developing ham.

The house smells heavenly at the moment.

While all that's going on, I made up two pounds of cranberry compote (the zest of 3 oranges and 3 lemons, along with their juice), a couple cups of sugar, a very nice healthy slug of Grand Marnier, simmered for a few minutes, then thickened with a cornstarch/water whitewash.

Next up is the cornbread stuffing. First a mirepoix of onions and celery, along with some Italian sausage, walnuts, dried cranberries, sage. That gets mixed with the cornbread, then soak it down with some chicken stock (not homemade).

That gets thrown in the oven later tonight.

Fellowship Hall is already set up. We're planning on 100 people. We've got the  ham, and other people are bringing in 3 turkeys, mashers, some regular bread stuffing, and gravy which I'll probably finalize in the church kitchen. Most of the rest of the church is bringing in side dishes and desserts.

It will be good to get all this behind me.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: ColonialMarine0431 on November 13, 2010, 01:46:13 PM
 :drool:

What's the address?  :-)  Sounds excellent.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Chris_ on November 13, 2010, 01:48:45 PM
Yeah, I'm thinking ham and biscuit sandwiches right now. :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 01:49:33 PM
:drool:

What's the address?  :-)  Sounds excellent.

601 W. Coates St.
Moberly, MO  65270

Unfortunately, both St. Louis and KC airports are socked in, plus you have to pay $50 per carryon item. I won't even tell you how much it costs to actually check a bag.  :banghead:

Yes, I'm an optimist.  :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Chris_ on November 13, 2010, 01:50:34 PM
Shoot, I can be there in eight hours.  Let me get my stuff.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: ColonialMarine0431 on November 13, 2010, 01:53:01 PM
601 W. Coates St.
Moberly, MO  65270

Unfortunately, both St. Louis and KC airports are socked in, plus you have to pay $50 per carryon item. I won't even tell you how much it costs to actually check a bag.  :banghead:

Yes, I'm an optimist.  :-)

My family's farm is in N.E. Arkansas just outside of Pocahontas. I'll have them drive up there for me.  :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: cavegal on November 13, 2010, 01:57:35 PM
I am the chairman of the Fellowship Committee, which is a euphemism for "he who gets to cook for us at church a lot and work his ass off in the process".

My tenure in this position is rapidly coming to a close, as I have been serving on Session (the church council) for almost 3 years - an entire term.

At any rate, I am tired and want to move on, but the last great major hurdle to leap over is the church Thanksgiving meal, which we're having tomorrow.

Mrs E and I ordered up a whole hog about a month ago or so, so I'm taking one of the hams (a big bastard at 17 lbs, btw) and have done a few things to it - brined it overnight (the brine is a mixture of kosher salt, brown sugar, mustard seed, red pepper flakes, bay leaves, and a cinnamon stick) and then started roasting it late this morning.

But not before preparing a rub, which is essentially a paste of EVOO, an entire bulb of garlic cloves, whole grain mustard (okay, I cheated and used Dijon), a large handful of Italian parsley, sage, salt and pepper; pulsing that in a food processor, then smearing that all over the ham.

In the bottom of the roaster went two large Spanish onions, cut in wedges, along with about 2 cups of apple cider.

The ham goes on the top of the onion/cider mixture and gets blasted in a 425 deg. oven for 30 minutes, before cranking down to 325 for probably 5 hours or so.

The last two hours of roasting, I take the half gallon of cider that I'd reduced down to about a pint (OMG, the apple flavor is enough to knock your socks off) and brush it on the nicely-developing ham.

The house smells heavenly at the moment.

While all that's going on, I made up two pounds of cranberry compote (the zest of 3 oranges and 3 lemons, along with their juice), a couple cups of sugar, a very nice healthy slug of Grand Marnier, simmered for a few minutes, then thickened with a cornstarch/water whitewash.

Next up is the cornbread stuffing. First a mirepoix of onions and celery, along with some Italian sausage, walnuts, dried cranberries, sage. That gets mixed with the cornbread, then soak it down with some chicken stock (not homemade).

That gets thrown in the oven later tonight.

Fellowship Hall is already set up. We're planning on 100 people. We've got the  ham, and other people are bringing in 3 turkeys, mashers, some regular bread stuffing, and gravy which I'll probably finalize in the church kitchen. Most of the rest of the church is bringing in side dishes and desserts.

It will be good to get all this behind me.
Wow that sounds just dandy!  Hope everything turns out the way you planned it!
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: IassaFTots on November 13, 2010, 02:14:44 PM
8 hours is about right.  See ya tomorrow!!

Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 13, 2010, 03:17:57 PM
8 hours is about right.  See ya tomorrow!!



Meet up in Denison and we can "convoy" up there.......  :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 13, 2010, 03:23:56 PM
Isn't it a little early in the month for Thanksgiving dinner??
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 13, 2010, 04:58:39 PM
Anybody notice that Eupher didn't say a time??
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 05:42:24 PM
Isn't it a little early in the month for Thanksgiving dinner??

It's traditional for the church - they like to do it before the weekend before T-day weekend rolls around what with all the shopping, etc.

Went to Wally World yesterday and it was already insane.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 05:44:00 PM
Anybody notice that Eupher didn't say a time??

Church starts at 10:30 and the meal starts immediately afterward - about 11:45 a.m.

Oh, btw Tots, Thor, and Chris - I'll believe it when I see it.  :popcorn:
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: IassaFTots on November 13, 2010, 08:12:28 PM
Church starts at 10:30 and the meal starts immediately afterward - about 11:45 a.m.

Oh, btw Tots, Thor, and Chris - I'll believe it when I see it.  :popcorn:

Shoot.  That sounds like a double dog dare!
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Chris_ on November 13, 2010, 08:21:31 PM
I didn't know he was going to roll the red carpet out for us or I would have left the house by now.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 08:25:25 PM
I didn't know he was going to roll the red carpet out for us or I would have left the house by now.

I think it's green, and it won't reach all the way to the parking lot, but will a throw rug work?   :rotf:
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 13, 2010, 08:26:11 PM
Shoot.  That sounds like a double dog dare!

Ain't gonna happen, Tots, and you know it.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: IassaFTots on November 13, 2010, 08:38:05 PM
Ain't gonna happen, Tots, and you know it.

Well, if you had given a little more notice, ya never know bub.   :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: JLO on November 13, 2010, 11:02:03 PM
I am the chairman of the Fellowship Committee, which is a euphemism for "he who gets to cook for us at church a lot and work his ass off in the process".

The house smells heavenly at the moment.

Fellowship Hall is already set up. We're planning on 100 people. We've got the  ham, and other people are bringing in 3 turkeys, mashers, some regular bread stuffing, and gravy which I'll probably finalize in the church kitchen. Most of the rest of the church is bringing in side dishes and desserts.



Sounds great - have a fun event - your cooking method sounds 'heavenly'.

 O-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 14, 2010, 07:10:13 AM
Well, if you had given a little more notice, ya never know bub.   :-)

Here's one for ya - Dec. 18, Ft. Leonard Wood, MO; noon; PX parking lot.

The event title is - don't laugh now:

"TubaChristmas"

Yes, it's for real, and yes there are a whole shitload of euphers and tubists out there playing Christmas carols and terrorizing the neighborhood. Dogs love us because the pitches don't get all that high.

Check your local listings! There'll be one in your area! In the meantime, here's your notice, sweetums.

Facebook Entry (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=117822991615519)


TubaChristmas web site - locations (http://tubachristmas.com/selectloc.php)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: ExGeeEye on November 14, 2010, 08:07:27 AM


Mrs E and I ordered up a whole hog about a month ago...

Oy!  Trayf!

 
...a mixture of kosher salt, brown sugar, mustard seed, red pepper flakes, bay leaves, and a cinnamon stick...

Dat von't help.

(Seriously...yum!  :drool:)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: chitownchica on November 14, 2010, 09:26:12 PM
My family's farm is in N.E. Arkansas just outside of Pocahontas. I'll have them drive up there for me.  :-)

My dad graduated HS from Pocahontas.  Small world  :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: chitownchica on November 14, 2010, 09:31:01 PM
In my haste to post, I forgot to say the meal sounds excellent! I hope you had a great dinner.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 06:37:23 AM
In my haste to post, I forgot to say the meal sounds excellent! I hope you had a great dinner.

Yeah, it actually did turn out very well. We had about 80 people. I got a standing ovation, which was rather humbling since there were several people who prepared food and worked.

But there's a little vinegar with the sweetness. I managed to lose my keys somewhere in the church and the dishwasher broke down.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: IassaFTots on November 15, 2010, 08:23:51 AM
Yeah, it actually did turn out very well. We had about 80 people. I got a standing ovation, which was rather humbling since there were several people who prepared food and worked.

But there's a little vinegar with the sweetness. I managed to lose my keys somewhere in the church and the dishwasher broke down.

Both of those things are much easier to recover from, than having people not like all of your food! 
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 08:29:48 AM
Both of those things are much easier to recover from, than having people not like all of your food! 

I dunno. Getting a key made for my car? $65 a pop (getting two made). Keyless remote? $75.

I gotta get 3 keys replaced from work (no charge to me), and the rest of my key wad - not too bad. Outdoor shed I'll have to get made.

Shit.  :argh:  PITA.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: IassaFTots on November 15, 2010, 08:45:24 AM
I dunno. Getting a key made for my car? $65 a pop (getting two made). Keyless remote? $75.

I gotta get 3 keys replaced from work (no charge to me), and the rest of my key wad - not too bad. Outdoor shed I'll have to get made.

Shit.  :argh:  PITA.

EEK.  Ok.  You know next week you will find them. 

Still sucks though. 
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 15, 2010, 09:12:55 AM

But there's a little vinegar with the sweetness. I managed to lose my keys somewhere in the church and the dishwasher broke down.

My dishwasher "broke down" this last week, too!! She's better now, though!!  :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 10:59:37 AM
Keys were found. Dodged a $200 bullet.

Somebody apparently dropped them into a nearby purse. The woman didn't even know she had them until this morning when she went digging for something and pulled out a wad of keys she didn't recognize.

I should've done a better job in securing my keys. Lesson learned.

**** the dishwasher. Ain't my problem.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: IassaFTots on November 15, 2010, 12:44:35 PM
Keys were found. Dodged a $200 bullet.

Somebody apparently dropped them into a nearby purse. The woman didn't even know she had them until this morning when she went digging for something and pulled out a wad of keys she didn't recognize.

I should've done a better job in securing my keys. Lesson learned.

**** the dishwasher. Ain't my problem.

And they still like your cooking! 
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 02:02:30 PM
And they still like your cooking! 

Yeah, but stick a fork in me. I'm done.

I'll make up dishes and bring them to future occasions, but I'm done trying to feed 80 people. I quit that shit better than 30 years ago for a reason.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 15, 2010, 02:13:24 PM
Yeah, but stick a fork in me. I'm done.

I'll make up dishes and bring them to future occasions, but I'm done trying to feed 80 people. I quit that shit better than 30 years ago for a reason.

Ohhh Eupher, who are you trying to BS?? You KNOW that you'll do it again when called upon....
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 02:15:09 PM
Ohhh Eupher, who are you trying to BS?? You KNOW that you'll do it again when called upon....

they've already asked me and I've already said no thanks.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: debk on November 15, 2010, 03:13:33 PM
Sounds like you deserved every accolade in that standing ovation!!!  :bow: :bow: :bow:

The "Ladies of the Church" are doing a bake sale fundraiser next weekend, selling stuff after each of the Masses. First one is Saturday at 5, and there are 4 on Sunday morning.

This is the first time I am participating. There was a notice in the bulletin, with a number to call if anyone had questions....so I called. I don't really know many people there, unless I knew them from somewhere else.

I'm making a couple of baked ziti with ground beef and Italian sausage, giant blueberry muffins with lemon glaze and cinnamon sugar cookies with orange cream cheese frosting and "autumn" sprinkles.

I hope my stuff sells....
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 04:30:41 PM
Sounds like you deserved every accolade in that standing ovation!!!  :bow: :bow: :bow:

The "Ladies of the Church" are doing a bake sale fundraiser next weekend, selling stuff after each of the Masses. First one is Saturday at 5, and there are 4 on Sunday morning.

This is the first time I am participating. There was a notice in the bulletin, with a number to call if anyone had questions....so I called. I don't really know many people there, unless I knew them from somewhere else.

I'm making a couple of baked ziti with ground beef and Italian sausage, giant blueberry muffins with lemon glaze and cinnamon sugar cookies with orange cream cheese frosting and "autumn" sprinkles.

I hope my stuff sells....

I'd definitely buy one of your muffins and maybe one of your sugar cookies. Not too sure about the baked ziti since my heartburn has kicked up today for some unknown freaking reason........
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: chitownchica on November 15, 2010, 04:39:42 PM
I'm glad you found your keys. Boy, that sucks if you don't have backup copies.

Glad it was a success  :cheersmate:
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Odin's Hand on November 15, 2010, 04:40:22 PM
Hi-5 for the ham and BS for not taking a pic of the final ham before serving.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 15, 2010, 04:42:59 PM
Hi-5 for the ham and BS for not taking a pic of the final ham before serving.

BS accepted, only because I'm too damned tired and cranky to fight about it.

Didn't even think about taking a pic - another reason for taking it on the chin.  :p
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: debk on November 18, 2010, 08:08:07 PM
I'd definitely buy one of your muffins and maybe one of your sugar cookies. Not too sure about the baked ziti since my heartburn has kicked up today for some unknown freaking reason........

stressing over something?
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 19, 2010, 06:36:58 AM
stressing over something?

The usual pre-holidays "God, I can't wait to get this shit behind me" stuff.

Bah  :censored:  humbug.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 19, 2010, 07:42:17 AM


Quote
Bah :censored: humbug.........

  ::) You just like to act like a Scrooge!!  :hammer: :-)
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 19, 2010, 07:44:33 AM
 ::) You just like to act like a Scrooge!!  :hammer: :-)

 :yourpoint: 

It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: debk on November 19, 2010, 10:24:18 AM
The usual pre-holidays "God, I can't wait to get this shit behind me" stuff.

Bah  :censored:  humbug.

Yeah...I get that way starting at Halloween. I'm determined this year, to try to be different. I AM trying.  :banghead:
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Eupher on November 19, 2010, 10:30:07 AM
Yeah...I get that way starting at Halloween. I'm determined this year, to try to be different. I AM trying.  :banghead:

It'll be okay after I play a few Christmas gigs.

The one year I missed playing Christmas completely (1994), I was a complete wreck until I figured out what happened.

I gotsta play me some Christmas gigs. That's all there is to it.
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: debk on November 19, 2010, 10:37:48 AM
It'll be okay after I play a few Christmas gigs.

The one year I missed playing Christmas completely (1994), I was a complete wreck until I figured out what happened.

I gotsta play me some Christmas gigs. That's all there is to it.


My plan is to do the Christmas tree next weekend. If I get that over with, I should be ok.

I detest the tree process, and have been known to procrastinate it up to Christmas Eve, and have also just put it up and done nothing else to it.

It's all assembled and in plastic wrap in the garage. All I have to do is decorate it.

I'm hoping that will make a difference.  :(
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: Thor on November 19, 2010, 02:37:37 PM
I don't like to put up a tree prior to Thanksgiving. This year, we're really going to have to be inventive as there is ZERO room for a nice tree.... :(
Title: Re: Prep for Church
Post by: thundley4 on November 19, 2010, 04:55:46 PM
I don't like to put up a tree prior to Thanksgiving. This year, we're really going to have to be inventive as there is ZERO room for a nice tree.... :(

We won't put up a tree either this year. Our pup Tara is to inquisitive and likes to try and eat everything.