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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on November 10, 2010, 08:23:50 AM

Title: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: franksolich on November 10, 2010, 08:23:50 AM
Well, well.

Well, well.

Today's the birthday of the famous punidiot of Skins's island, the best-selling novelist William Rivers Pitt, otherwise known as the Bostonian Drunkard.  His thirty-ninth.

Well, well.

There are some who don't know who the Bostonian Drunkard is, and that's okay, because while the Bostonian Drunkard may be a bigwig on Skins's island, he's a nobody out in the wider world.

The Bostonian Drunkard, one of the most-senior primitives (late January 2001), is from Boston and is a trust-fund kiddie, really loaded, although for some peculiar reason he can't have any of the dough yet, and so in addition to his writing chores for TruthOut, he's compelled to work as a bouncer at some obscure bar.

The Bostonian Drunkard used to be second-from-the-top at TruthOut, managing editor or something like that, until his Fitzmas Debacle of May 12, 2005, after which he was demoted to guest columnist.

I'm tired at the moment, worn out, and so am not up to writing a Pitt-length piece, but I hope readers will find the link below illuminating; franksolich considers that particular thread one of his finest works.

The "backstory" on it, before one goes to the link, is that in January 2010, Scott Ritter, the notorious arms-inspector and collaborator of the Bostonian Drunkard, was arrested for trying to make nice-nice with a 13-year-old girl who turned out to be an undercover cop.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,39228.0
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Ballygrl on November 10, 2010, 08:34:04 AM
Happy Birthday Will!
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on November 10, 2010, 08:37:24 AM
It's 9:37 AM on the East Coast, what do you suppose the odds are that Wee Willie is already sucking back some cold brews at Bukowski's?
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Chris_ on November 10, 2010, 08:41:28 AM
It's 9:37 AM on the East Coast, what do you suppose the odds are that Wee Willie is already sucking back some cold brews at Bukowski's?
ha ha ha... :-)
Quote
I think if Charles Bukoski saw this place, he would punch out all the windows and scream like a lunatic. 

I've been dragged here a number of times by my shameless lit-hipster friends.  Beer snobs tend to love it.  I, on the other hand, just want Bass ale and the option of drinking one or two weird bottled novelty.  Not hundreds of them.

The Inman square location is way better, with garage windows and less of a rich-f*ck population, but I'll keep my yelping of this disgusting chain to this one location.

If you're interested, check it out.  If you're down for the gimmick of the beer wheel, give it a spin.  But don't fool yourself into thinking this place is unique. 

It's as cheesy as an outback steak house, but the worst part is the name.  It's a worse mismatch than a John Lennon's Gun Shoppe, or a Robert Frost Tanning Salon.  The spirit of the artist is sullied as bad in the actual existence of this place, even more so than my lame fictional examples.

Reasons why Chinanski would never stick around:
- it's too crowded
- it's too expensive
- it's too bright
- it's too loud
and there are bukowski quotes littering the wall paper, like some sort of children's library. 

really now, what's going on?

http://www.yelp.com/biz/bukowski-tavern-boston

I think this got posted before, but it's still funny.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Odin's Hand on November 10, 2010, 08:45:55 AM
It's 9:37 AM on the East Coast, what do you suppose the odds are that Wee Willie is already sucking back some cold brews at Bukowski's?

Ralph, it's the man's birthday...he's already liver-deep in the Kentucky Deluxe.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: dandi on November 10, 2010, 09:01:44 AM
Happy birthday, dipshit.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on November 10, 2010, 09:02:56 AM
ha ha ha... :-)
I think this got posted before, but it's still funny.

Sounds just as cheesy as the "Viagra Triangle" in Chicago.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: njpines on November 10, 2010, 09:38:17 AM
Is he really 39??  He looks at least 10 years older than that  :-) -- I thought booze had preservative qualities but I guess quantity cancels that out.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Duke Nukum on November 10, 2010, 09:40:57 AM
Is he really 39??  He looks at least 10 years older than that  :-) -- I thought booze had preservative qualities but I guess quantity cancels that out.
I was thinking the same thing insofar as he looked in his mid-40s 2 or 3 years ago. 

Progressivism kills.

Don't let your children grow up to be Will Pitt.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 10, 2010, 12:55:04 PM
Happy Birthday, (Sh)Pittstain!
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: franksolich on November 10, 2010, 05:03:06 PM
Aw, nobody's interested in the Bostonian Drunkard, so I'm "unstickying" this.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: miskie on November 10, 2010, 05:29:03 PM
Happy birthday USMC !

(and you too, Pitt..)
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: blitzkrieg_17 on November 10, 2010, 05:35:48 PM
Happy Birthday, (Sh)Pittstain!

 :lmao: Hi-5!
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Randy on November 10, 2010, 06:45:02 PM
RIP 29 souls on the Edmund Fitzgerald.

FY Will :loser: Pitt
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: true_blood on November 10, 2010, 06:58:40 PM
Happy Birthday, (Sh)Pittstain!
HA HA! :cheersmate: :lmao:
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: franksolich on November 10, 2010, 07:15:03 PM
Is he really 39??  He looks at least 10 years older than that  :-) -- I thought booze had preservative qualities but I guess quantity cancels that out.

Not only is the Bostonian Drunkard prematurely aged, he's also purposely aged.

For example, he has a full head of hair, but chooses to shave it all off, thinking it makes him look "cool."

Actually, it makes him look pretty stupid.

One notices the alcoholic deterioration from his flaccid cheeks and rather ruddy nose.

In case one didn't know this, the Bostonian Drunkard is also a boryborygmiac.

One doesn't want to step inside an elevator with him, or sit next to him on an airplane.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 11, 2010, 05:08:27 AM
the Bostonian Drunkard is also a boryborygmiac

Yes, I searched this.  Is he also flatulent, moreso than most?
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: Splashdown on November 11, 2010, 08:23:29 AM
(http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/p-jokes/fake/brick.jpg)
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: franksolich on November 11, 2010, 08:36:11 AM
Yes, I searched this.  Is he also flatulent, moreso than most?

Yeah.

"Boryborygmous" = constant involuntary flatulence.

It's from the mid-19th century, but for some peculiar reason never got into popular use.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 11, 2010, 09:10:18 AM
Yeah.

"Boryborygmous" = constant involuntary flatulence.

It's from the mid-19th century, but for some peculiar reason never got into popular use.

He's full of hot, stinky air.  Don't get near one of these, Pittstain! :fuelfire:
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: franksolich on November 11, 2010, 09:22:58 AM
He's full of hot, stinky air.  Don't get near one of these, Pittstain! :fuelfire:

Once in a while I have this image of the Bostonian Drunkard and his wife in bed, but can't imagine how she copes with the constantly-refreshing odor emanating from him.
Title: Re: happy 39th birthday, William Rivers Pitt
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 11, 2010, 09:31:34 AM
Once in a while I have this image of the Bostonian Drunkard and his wife in bed, but can't imagine how she copes with the constantly-refreshing odor emanating from him.

She makes him use a huge butt-plug . . . :whistling: