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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: IassaFTots on November 05, 2010, 12:32:28 PM

Title: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: IassaFTots on November 05, 2010, 12:32:28 PM
Quote
mopinko   (1000+ posts)        Thu Nov-04-10 04:42 PM
Original message
can someone write a resume for me?
 
 [?]i haven't had a regular job in 25 years, but i have 2 interviews tomorrow. trying to get graphic design work. studying that right now, about halfway through, although i had quite a bit of practice before the classes.
one interview is with a political pr firm, the other is with my favorite beer company. got good things in my experience for both companies, although very different things. argh. i may just skip it and wing it. i have a portfolio to show, and that would be what both really want to know.
both are pretty informal situations. the beer company one is mostly a courtesy, as they don't have anything open right now anyway. the other one will likely be working in the feb. 2011 muni election. i was mostly just asked to come have a cup of coffee and meet and greet, so i don't feel much pressure.

but i am looking for work and will prolly need one soon one way or another. but damn i hate doing resumes. 

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=9543793&mesg_id=9543793

Now, we can go all around with why this person is such an epic fail, if they don't have a resume to take to these "meetings" tomorrow.  And the subsequent postings supporting why she really doesn't need to take a resume anyway.....

But I really brought it over for this.   :hyper:

Quote
RandomThoughts  (1000+ posts)        Thu Nov-04-10 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
7. Submitting a resume is a presumption someone should or could
 Edited on Thu Nov-04-10 07:36 PM by RandomThoughts
hire you. That is a presumption they have something you would trade for.

I am already due beer and travel money, so they will pay it, I don't have to work for it, it is already due to me.

When they pay what is due, I figure millions by now, then I will think about working again. It would be insane to work when I am already due that money.

Side note, I have no problems with those without material money, or that use such money for other good causes, if they can defend the use of that money and what it is used for.

I swear, I get stoned just by reading this. 
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Mike220 on November 05, 2010, 12:37:39 PM
Yeah, I hate doing resumes too. But I did my own since I'M the one looking for a job.

 :loser:
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Carl on November 05, 2010, 12:39:40 PM
There was a thread at the DUmp a few weeks ago asking if any would take a job that violated their progressive prinicples.
It was pretty boring outside of a few that said having a job or working period violated their progressive principles.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Karin on November 05, 2010, 12:46:48 PM
Oh yeah, that was pretty funny, Carl. 

Mopinko doesn't have any meat to put in that resume. 

RandomThoughts....RandomThoughts...........oh I'm sorry, I zoned out there and my eyes glazed over.  I see what you mean, Tots. 
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: jukin on November 05, 2010, 12:49:34 PM
The best resumes are short, nt pages long.  Many years ago a mentor told me that the ultimate resume is just your name. He said "Lee Iacocca" is a hell of resume and will get every job it is sent to.  It was right after he brought Chrysler back.

My one thought for the hopeful job seeking OP is to find away around that teeny, tiny 25 year gap.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: ScubaGuy on November 05, 2010, 01:19:33 PM
Quote
mopinko DU Moderator Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Thu Nov-04-10 10:49 PM
Response to Original message
11. ok, a draft here
   
i will use my usual letterhead, which is my autograph, then address and contact info.


public service
2001-2009 woman made gallery annual benefit.
chair program subcomittee, write and prepare sales materials and appeals. make ad sales. prepare copy and design ads. and some years design, print and assemble books and event signage.

political
volunteered for candidates-
jan schakowsky for congress- 2010
barack obama for president- 2008
joe moore for alderman- 2007
christine cegelis for congress- 2004 and 2006
2005-2009 created pinkobuttons.com, designed and produced over 300 political buttons. direct sales, bulk sales and web site sales.
issue advocacy
founding member of chicago women in trades, an advocacy agency for blue collar women

fine art
conceptual ceramic sculpture and life size abstract figures on paper
2004-2009 member midwest clay guild
numerous group shows, art fairs, and self organized exhibitions
see mo-clay.com for images and statements

education
2009-present saic continuing studies pursuing certificate in graphic design
1983-1985 attended school of the art institute with emphasis in ceramics
1978-1981 apprentice carpenter
1976-a.a. liberal arts, waubonsee community college

skills
adobe photoshop version 6 to cs5
adobe pagemaker and indesign
illustrator, dreamweaver, flash


That's one killer resume.

Right off the bat I wouldn't consider someone who doesn't know about the caps key and when it should be used.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 05, 2010, 01:47:06 PM

That's one killer resume.

Right off the bat I wouldn't consider someone who doesn't know about the caps key and when it should be used.

Note one thing that is missing from that "resume" . . .

Work Experience!
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Karin on November 05, 2010, 01:52:39 PM
Yeah.  Work.

The beer company is a no-go, because presumably it's a capitalist going concern, and anybody that founds an outfit called "Pinkobuttons" doesn't have the profit motive of a company at heart. 

The political PR firm will likely just refer her to the candidate as a volunteer.  Assuming the candidate is a moonbat. 
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: true_blood on November 05, 2010, 06:33:45 PM
Quote
mopinko   (1000+ posts)        Thu Nov-04-10 04:42 PM
Original message
can someone write a resume for me? [?]i haven't had a regular job in 25 years, but i have 2 interviews tomorrow. trying to get graphic design work. studying that right now, about halfway through, although i had quite a bit of practice before the classes.
Haven't had a "regular" job for 25 years? What does he consider a "regular" job? :???:
By the way, I can almost guarantee that this DUmmie didn't get this job. I'm in a very similar field and no one wants to hire anyone without prior experience. It's a skilled job.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: chitownchica on November 05, 2010, 07:00:56 PM
Damn- Mopinko is L-A-Z-Y

Quote
mopinko DU Moderator
Response to Reply #1
2. yeah, but i need it tomorrow.
   
that's the trouble there. i just put it off until after the election, and i am just still exhausted.

Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Chris_ on November 05, 2010, 07:02:23 PM
You're exhausted... from writing a resume? ::)
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: true_blood on November 05, 2010, 07:06:22 PM
You're exhausted... from writing a resume? ::)
Let's face it. Gotta get those bong hits in.
Priorities man. :loser:
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: mamacags on November 05, 2010, 09:16:03 PM
You should never ever put anything political on a resume unless you are submitting it for a political position.  The rest of it just screams hippy bullshit.  They have resume templates online for free.  I would rather have seen a resume from someone admitting to being a huge loser than someone submitting some bullshit like that when I was hiring.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: thundley4 on November 05, 2010, 09:21:41 PM
Quote
i will use my usual letterhead, which is my autograph, then address and contact info.

Famous people sign autographs, normal people use their signature.  The DUmmie should limit their resume to their actual jobs and some examples of their work.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: PatriotGame on November 05, 2010, 10:18:19 PM
Quote
RandomThoughts  (1000+ posts)        Thu Nov-04-10 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
7. Submitting a resume is a presumption someone should or could
 Edited on Thu Nov-04-10 07:36 PM by RandomThoughts
hire you. That is a presumption they have something you would trade for.

I am already due beer and travel money, so they will pay it, I don't have to work for it, it is already due to me.

When they pay what is due, I figure millions by now, then I will think about working again. It would be insane to work when I am already due that money.

Side note, I have no problems with those without material money, or that use such money for other good causes, if they can defend the use of that money and what it is used for.
Good lord!
"Give me free beer and gas money or piss-off!"

Currently I have 27 resumes and associated cover letters from jobs I have applied to over the past 10 years. My resume and cover letter are adjusted for every job I apply to.

You can spend 32 IQ points and three hours on the Internet and learn to FORMAT and write a decent resume.
Remember, your resume is no more than a 30 second commercial of your skill set to a prospective employer's HR person.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Evil_Conservative on November 05, 2010, 11:05:28 PM
You should never ever put anything political on a resume unless you are submitting it for a political position.  The rest of it just screams hippy bullshit.  They have resume templates online for free.  I would rather have seen a resume from someone admitting to being a huge loser than someone submitting some bullshit like that when I was hiring.

Microsoft Works has a few templates as well. 

Another question...

Why did this person wait until the last possible minute to make a resume?  Shouldn't you always be updating yours?  Mine is updated, but I'm not looking for a job.  If I need to look for a new job, my resume is ready to be submitted right away.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 06, 2010, 05:37:03 AM
You can spend 32 IQ points and three hours on the Internet and learn to FORMAT and write a decent resume.

That's a big assumption there, PG--that he has 32 IQ points to spend.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Randy on November 06, 2010, 06:24:25 AM
Microsoft Works has a few templates as well. 

Another question...

Why did this person wait until the last possible minute to make a resume?  Shouldn't you always be updating yours?  Mine is updated, but I'm not looking for a job.  If I need to look for a new job, my resume is ready to be submitted right away.

If the Dems had won Tuesday then the gravy train would have rolled on unchecked. BUT, now that reality has reared its ugly head it looks to someone like they'll have to bite the bullet and get one of those job thingies they've been avoiding all these long years after all.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: JohnnyReb on November 06, 2010, 06:31:53 AM
That's a big assumption there, PG--that he has 32 IQ points to spend.

Oh he probably has 32 IQ points left but he wants to kill them off slowly with booze and dope.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: NHSparky on November 06, 2010, 07:34:55 AM
Bingo...always, always, always be updating your cover letters and resumes, especially if something comes along at the last moment.  I have no plans to leave my job, but if I do, I'm a phone call and and e-mail away from getting another job.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on November 06, 2010, 09:52:01 AM
Quote
mopinko   (1000+ posts)        Thu Nov-04-10 04:42 PM
Original message
can someone write a resume for me?

...So I can at least technically claim *I* didn't lie on it?

 :rotf: 

And 'RandomThoughts' really ought to consider changing his moniker to 'Scatterbrained.'  If he could focus long enough to do it, anyway.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: true_blood on November 06, 2010, 02:09:48 PM
Also, it's a good thing he put off the resume till the last minute. Nothing says procrastination like a DUmmie. :hammer:
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Evil_Conservative on November 06, 2010, 09:04:58 PM
This is probably how the job interview will go.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/interview.html
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: Chris_ on November 06, 2010, 09:09:02 PM
This is probably how the job interview will go.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/interview.html
:lmao:
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: USA4ME on November 06, 2010, 09:24:02 PM
Quote from:
mopinko

public service
2001-2009 woman made gallery annual benefit.
chair program subcomittee, write and prepare sales materials and appeals. make ad sales. prepare copy and design ads. and some years design, print and assemble books and event signage.

political
volunteered for candidates-
jan schakowsky for congress- 2010
barack obama for president- 2008
joe moore for alderman- 2007
christine cegelis for congress- 2004 and 2006
2005-2009 created pinkobuttons.com, designed and produced over 300 political buttons. direct sales, bulk sales and web site sales.
issue advocacy
founding member of chicago women in trades, an advocacy agency for blue collar women

fine art...

That's all you've done?!?

Don't bother with the resume.  Just ask the interviewer if they ever press charges.

.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: I_B_Perky on November 07, 2010, 12:00:54 AM
Quote
mopinko DU Moderator Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Thu Nov-04-10 10:49 PM
Response to Original message
11. ok, a draft here
   
i will use my usual letterhead, which is my autograph, then address and contact info.


public service
2001-2009 woman made gallery annual benefit.
chair program subcomittee, write and prepare sales materials and appeals. make ad sales. prepare copy and design ads. and some years design, print and assemble books and event signage.

political
volunteered for candidates-
jan schakowsky for congress- 2010
barack obama for president- 2008
joe moore for alderman- 2007
christine cegelis for congress- 2004 and 2006
2005-2009 created pinkobuttons.com, designed and produced over 300 political buttons. direct sales, bulk sales and web site sales.
issue advocacy
founding member of chicago women in trades, an advocacy agency for blue collar women

fine art
conceptual ceramic sculpture and life size abstract figures on paper
2004-2009 member midwest clay guild
numerous group shows, art fairs, and self organized exhibitions
see mo-clay.com for images and statements

education
2009-present saic continuing studies pursuing certificate in graphic design
1983-1985 attended school of the art institute with emphasis in ceramics
1978-1981 apprentice carpenter
1976-a.a. liberal arts, waubonsee community college

skills
adobe photoshop version 6 to cs5
adobe pagemaker and indesign
illustrator, dreamweaver, flash

Wow! If I ever had someone give me something like this it would be tossed in the trash. If they were sitting across the table from me in an interview I would politely tell them the position has been filled.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: soleil on November 07, 2010, 06:48:04 PM
I wonder about Random. That person writes down the most insane stuff and tries to make it make sense. Or not. I have to say that person has given me a chuckle or two.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: IassaFTots on November 07, 2010, 08:41:05 PM
I wonder about Random. That person writes down the most insane stuff and tries to make it make sense. Or not. I have to say that person has given me a chuckle or two.

I love reading his/her posts.  They always make me smile.   :whatever:
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: true_blood on November 08, 2010, 05:12:18 PM
The DUmmie version.
Bingo...always, always, always be updating your cover letters and resumes roledex, especially if something comes along your dealer gets busted at the last moment.  I have no plans to leave my have a job, but if I do, I'm a phone call and and e-mail away from getting another job bong hit.
Title: Re: can someone write a resume for me? (with randomthoughts goodness inside!)
Post by: jukin on November 08, 2010, 06:19:30 PM
Wow! If I ever had someone give me something like this it would be tossed in the trash. If they were sitting across the table from me in an interview I would politely tell them the position has been filled.

I'd be laughing so hard I would miss and then decide that this required a special place at the coffee machine bulletin board.