The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Dixie*Darling on March 28, 2008, 04:12:14 PM
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The Banana Quiz:
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who are standing under it. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . . Try to answer within 30 seconds.
Got your answer?
Now scroll down to see the analysis.
If your answer is:
Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're a moron.
Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax!
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:lmao:
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:rotf:
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A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Where's the button that allows me to take back the high-five I gave you a few minutes ago....
:tongue:
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A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Where's the button that allows me to take back the high-five I gave you a few minutes ago....
:tongue:
You do and I'll bitch slap you! :tongue:
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:popcorn:
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:popcorn:
Something to say, squirrel-girl?
:tongue:
:lmao:
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:popcorn:
Something to say, squirrel-girl?
:tongue:
:lmao:
:asssmack:
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A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Wait. Why is it not the squirrel? :thatsright: :p
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okay, so how did the bananas get in the coconut tree then? Was someone trying to make a daiquiri?:confused: :-)
Kind of makes me hungry for a banana split or a banana cream pie.
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A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Wait. Why is it not the squirrel? :thatsright: :p
I think because squirrels don't eat bananas, they eat nuts and plus the giraffe has the longer neck.
But how come there weren't any limes in the coconut tree?
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A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Wait. Why is it not the squirrel? :thatsright: :p
I think because squirrels don't eat bananas, they eat nuts and plus the giraffe has the longer neck.
But how come there weren't any limes in the coconut tree?
There were. I think the Chimpanzee put the lime IN the coconut and drank em both up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IG7vu16Fug
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A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Wait. Why is it not the squirrel? :thatsright: :p
I think because squirrels don't eat bananas, they eat nuts and plus the giraffe has the longer neck.
But how come there weren't any limes in the coconut tree?
There were. I think the Chimpanzee put the lime IN the coconut and drank em both up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IG7vu16Fug
Well, there we go! A perfectly reasonable explanation of how the bananas got into the coconut tree.
Now, why was the rooster on the roof trying to lay eggs? I mean, even assuming he suffered from something like MPDS, that doesn't explain why he was on the roof.
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I got it right...I kept thinking, coconut trees don't grow bananas so none of them. :lmao:
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I got it right...I kept thinking, coconut trees don't grow bananas so none of them. :lmao:
This thread is GROSS! :puke: :puke:
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I got it right...I kept thinking, coconut trees don't grow bananas so none of them. :lmao:
This thread is GROSS! :puke: :puke:
It's not our fault some people's tastes are so ill-refined as to not like the beautiful artwork in nature that is the coconut and the banana. Too many years in the frozen tundra. :evillaugh:
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I got it right...I kept thinking, coconut trees don't grow bananas so none of them. :lmao:
Well, you know, one should never be too proud of having a lack of imagination. Logic and reason are fine for school but in the real world the Universe demands creative vision. I mean, suppose the coconut tree's coconuts leave home and grow up, potentially on another island thousands of miles away, and never brings the grand-coconuts over to visit so the coconut tree is a lonely empty brancher and decides to become a foster parent for bananas or mangoes or such.
It's no more unlikely than a lion making bets with other animals it would normally eat about who can get the coconut tree's bananas.
I think what probably actually happened here is the lion and the giraffe where in on it together. The lion was hungry and the giraffe was tired of the squirrel and chimp spreading gossip throughout the jungle vine system so the giraffe put the bananas in the coconut tree and they were in easy reach for the bet and everyone knows chimps and squirrels are hopeless gamblers so as soon as the lion said "go!" the giraffe easily reached the bananas and the chimp and squirrel furiously raced up the giraffe's neck, the giraffe was holding a banana in it's mouth (and it was sweet sweet irony in the giraffe's mouth because other than the spreading of salacious gossip the chimp and squirrel would often taunt the giraffe by calling him "banana neck Brady" ) and when the squirrel and chimp both grabbed onto it, the giraffe let go of the banana and the chimp and squirrel, so surprised by the giraffe's sudden mean streak, tumbled helplessly to the earth where they were seriously stunned on impact provided lion with his easiest meal in many months.
It isn't all a happy ending for the giraffe, though, because he felt serious guilt for what he had done and six months later, he tried to hang himself but his neck was too long and he couldn't find a tall enough stool so he came to America and spent the rest of his days as mascot for a toy firm. He became so successful, in time he forgot all about the murder of the chimp and the squirrel until one day Robert DeNiro showed up eating hard boiled eggs, reminded him of his sins, and took the giraffe straight to Giraffe Hell where his hated nemeses were waiting to taunt him for all eternity.
The lion lived happily ever after, though, because he lived within his nature.
The moral of the story is: If you are ever in the jungle and see bananas seeming to grow from a coconut tree, run, because there is probably a hungry lion and a bitter giraffe nearby. Especially if you can't resist a bet. That's how they get you.
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Once upon a time there was a rooster named Tom who suffered from Multiple Personality Syndrome Disorder, or Multiple Personality Disorder Syndrome, as the case may be. Either way, it didn't make much difference to Tom because he had a very limited vocabulary and his vocabulary included none of those words. Nor did it include any of the words in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association. When it came to words and diseases such as MPDS or MPSD, as the case may be, Tom was blissfully ignorant.
Tom's blissful state of ignorance extended to his own mental state and his own multiple personalities, of which Tom had 3 in total. A catalog of Tom's various personalities went as such: 1) there was Tom the rooster who enjoyed the barn and crowing at the crack of dawn. 2) There was Midge the barn swallow who enjoyed nesting in and near barns, which was fortuitous because it gave Tom even more reason to love barns. And the third was a wrought iron weather vane who had no name as weather vanes have no need of names, but nonetheless enjoyed his perch atop the roof of buildings, especially Farmer Brown's barn, indicating the direction of the wind. Which was also fortuitous because Tom always knew which way face when the sun began to rise.
One day, Tom's personalities got together and built a nest on top of Farmer Brown's barn as it was a point of agreement between the three, even though they had never met nor had they any inkling of the existence of the other two. One day, Tom, as Midge, laid an egg on top of the barn who's two sides faced East and West. As the wind was out of the East the day, the egg would have rolled down the West side of the barn but Midge build a strong nest and the wrought iron weather vane personality of Tom's provided a small amount of protection from the wind.
So, in answer to the question "If a rooster laid an egg on a roof with one side facing East and the other side facing West, which way would the egg roll?" The answer to that is "It depends on the rooster and the competency of his multiple personalities."