The Conservative Cave
Interests => All Things Edible (and how to prepare them) => Recipes => Topic started by: Chris_ on August 10, 2010, 01:01:02 PM
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(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4098/4877524705_966b27cda9_z_d.jpg)
1) Plant a shipload of carrots.
2) Leave the country for two weeks, about a month after they really should have been harvested.
3) Return home, pull a carrot, and boggle: holy carp, this thing is the size of a baby's arm holding an apple.
4) Purchase a deep-fryer. (This is actually Step Zero; you should already have purchased a deep fryer.)
5) Peel the skin off your carrot, and then use extra pressure on the the peeler to slowly slice the meat of the carrot into thin, bacon-like strips.
6) To remove any vitamins, minerals, and/or lingering taste of carrot, deep-fry in 375-degree canola oil for a minute and a half. Batch size: the thin-sliced flesh of one very large carrot.
7) Blot gently with paper towel.
8) Sprinkle with truffled salt.
9) Try not to just snaffle them all up right there, standing over the sink.
10) Bask in the approbation of your family and friends, especially the vegan ones. (You might not want to tell the kids they're eating carrots until they've tasted one.)
Flickr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/kentbrew/sets/72157624692331946/)
I suppose this would come in handy in an emergency and you couldn't find real bacon. Oh, the humanity!
Looks more like carrot-chips than actual bacon, but whatever. This works pretty well with sweet potatoes too.
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THAT IS AN ABOMINATION WORTHY OF DAMNATION!
Coming from the guy that doesn't eat real bacon anymore...
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:rofl: I didn't write the headline. Apparently, vegetarians are so starved for protein and enzymes that they're confusing fried chips for slices of meat.
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Coming from the guy that doesn't eat real bacon anymore...
:panic:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:panic:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's been hard getting used to, but it's not kosher. I do slip up occasionally, but I'm managing.
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What about pastrami? I've heard thin sliced, pan fried pastrami is almost as good as bacon. Crispy and tasty.
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What about pastrami? I've heard thin sliced, pan fried pastrami is almost as good as bacon. Crispy and tasty.
I'll have to try that. There's a kosher deli/bakery down the street from the synagogue I've been attending.
I just can't bring myself to try turkey "bacon."
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I'll have to try that. There's a kosher deli/bakery down the street from the synagogue I've been attending.
I just can't bring myself to try turkey "bacon."
Turkey bacon is obviously NOT bacon, however, if you view it as something other than bacon, it is kinda good. I love me some turkey bacon. AGAIN, it is no substitute, but it is worth trying.
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I'll have to try that. There's a kosher deli/bakery down the street from the synagogue I've been attending.
I just can't bring myself to try turkey "bacon."
Oh bugger. I forgot. My bad. So, when you need a bacon fix, try out bacon salt. You can buy it at Krogers, that is where I do, and there is no bacon in it. So you can salt things with bacon salt and get the taste.
http://baconsalt.com/
It's Kosher too!
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I found this burger blog the other week... he mentions fried pastrami and makes it sound really, really good.
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2010/08/the-burger-lab-the-pastrami-burger-bomb.html
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Oh bugger. I forgot. My bad. So, when you need a bacon fix, try out bacon salt. You can buy it at Krogers, that is where I do, and there is no bacon in it. So you can salt things with bacon salt and get the taste.
http://baconsalt.com/
It's Kosher too!
I'll have to check that out. Thanks.
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I found this burger blog the other week... he mentions fried pastrami and makes it sound really, really good.
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2010/08/the-burger-lab-the-pastrami-burger-bomb.html
I'll be in Richardson tomorrow, so I'll pick some up and let you know how it is.
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Excellent.
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Excellent.
Oh man, that was some good stuff. Put a bit of olive oil on it as a condiment which was tasty. It's hideously expensive, but for an occasional treat I'll have to do it again. It doesn't taste like bacon of course, but to me, it actually tastes better and will make a more than acceptable substitute. Next I'll have to try it with burgers from the grill.
(http://lh5.ggpht.com/_PzK3jVFJHA8/TGngr2VEHUI/AAAAAAAAA3g/sTQgYkbG3aw/s400/IMG_0288.JPG)
(http://lh6.ggpht.com/_PzK3jVFJHA8/TGngsyIhVLI/AAAAAAAAA3k/kZiYvEprZ8w/s400/IMG_0289.JPG)
(http://lh6.ggpht.com/_PzK3jVFJHA8/TGngvJ1U4GI/AAAAAAAAA3s/2Mj0lx6vEfs/s400/IMG_0290.JPG)
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IF BACON IS SO BAD WHY DO THEY TRY TO IMITATE IT ALL THE TIME..? I sure hope imitate is the word I am looking for? :fuelfire:
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IF BACON IS SO BAD WHY DO THEY TRY TO IMITATE IT ALL THE TIME..? I sure hope imitate is the word I am looking for? :fuelfire:
Because some of us can't eat bacon. :-)
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$17 a pound? Holy crap! I don't remember it being that expensive here... I'll have to check some other time.
That does look good.
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$17 a pound? Holy crap! I don't remember it being that expensive here... I'll have to check some other time.
That does look good.
I don't think the normal stuff is as expensive, but I haven't bought deli meat in a long time. I usually just buy the prepackaged stuff. I'll check when I go grocery shopping tomorrow.
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Because some of us can't eat bacon. :-)
:-)
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I fried some bacon, I dropped a slice on the floor. Usually a 5 second rule would apply, but this one fell between my cabinet and fridge. It was sad. :bawl:
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I feel your pain. :lmao:
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I fried some bacon, I dropped a slice on the floor. Usually a 5 second rule would apply, but this one fell between my cabinet and fridge. It was sad. :bawl:
You do realize, of course, that the ants are having a bacon (hay) day.
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You do realize, of course, that the ants are having a bacon (hay) day.
Oh, I picked it up. It was a little too dirty to eat. Although I did consider it.
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Oh, I picked it up. It was a little too dirty to eat. Although I did consider it.
The rendering process does destroy most bacteria, but I admit some of the crunchies might be disturbing.
On the other hand, if you like your bacon chewy, there might've been an opportunity there.
Just sayin'.... :-)
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Bacon is a health food ..... just sayin