The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on July 15, 2010, 08:49:54 AM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x78923
Oh my.
Brief recap: the diet cola primitive is the primitive who was once a chef, but then got fired, apparently for sucking down the booze on the job. The diet cola primitive--who was once a chef, remember--is the nonworking primitive who was "too tired" to fix Thanksgiving dinner for his wife, who had been working in a job all day. The diet cola primitive is the primitive who turns on the oven without checking first to see if anything's in there.
Tab (1000+ posts) Sun Jul-11-10 06:24 PM
THE DIET COLA PRIMITIVE
Original message
Did some learnin' today about pizza
I finally, FINALLY, got myself into a how-to-make-pizza class at King Arthur Flour. I've been trying to do this for years, but it's always something (divorce, money, schedule, travel, illness, sold out, whatever), but I finally pulled it off. Some of you who have been here for years have heard me mention before how I wanted to take this class but never quite managed it.
For cooks not familiar with King Arthur Flour, they're the top flour company in the country in terms of quality flours, and they run baking classes for everyone from beginners to professionals. These guys take the science of baking Very Seriously. And they're a short driving distance from where I live.
note from franksolich: Martha gooch is the top flour company in the country in terms of quality
So, one of the classes is on making pizza in a wood-fired oven. I'll just start by saying that they had a couple of loaves of some kind of bread (and butter) out, along with coffee/tea/water, for anyone hungry to snack on while working. That was damned good bread. Damned good. Pretty much the best ever.
Anyway, in my quest for pizza over the years I've more or less perfected the technique of baking it in a home oven, and it came out similar to KAF, cooking-wise, but I usually didn't make my own dough, the making of which was the key point for the class. We made both a whole-wheat dough (with pre-ferment) and a Semolina (white) dough. Actually I really liked the whole wheat - I've had WW pizzas elsewhere but they're dry and marginal; this one was warm and soft and tasty.
So, a couple of quick snapshots. First, the oven and the layout tables in front, for final staging before putting the pizza in the oven (dough was mixed and prepped and topped sort of to the right and behind, sorry no pic for that):
after which a photograph
Oven was running about 550 or so degrees today - they like it more to 700, but 550 was still okay.
Time to put in the pizzas!
after which a second photograph
They cook relatively quickly. Interestingly they use a WOOD paddle to put it IN the oven, but a metal paddle to rotate it and take it out, because it's easier for the metal to slide under the pizza. Also, they recommended, when cooking on a pizza stone, to use parchment to cook the pizza on. The paper won't burn and you won't leave little semolinas or corn meal around to mess up your oven (not an issue in the wood oven).
Finally it's time to take it out and put it on the cooling rack. I used just some marinara sauce, slices of mozzarella, a couple roasted red peppers, basil after it comes out (but still is hot) et voila:
after which a third photograph
Yummm.
To given credit where credit is due: http://www.kingarthurflour.com/
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Sun Jul-11-10 11:33 PM
DOUG'S STUPID EX-WIFE, #03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message
4. Omg, I'm so jealous!
Good going, Tab! I would kill or at least bruise to be able to take a class there!
NJCher (1000+ posts) Mon Jul-12-10 09:27 AM
Response to Original message
6. loved the story and pic
What's "relatively quickly" in a 550 oven? Five minutes? Ten minutes?
Tab (1000+ posts) Mon Jul-12-10 11:55 AM
THE DIET COLA PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #6
7. Till it's done.
In a superhot oven it can be as little as 2 or 3 minutes to be fully cooked, but in this one it usually went through three phases:
1) Initial cook, 2 or 3 mins, crust rises, starts to harden up
2) Pull and rotate, put back in the oven
3) Another 2 or 3 mins, pull and check. Bottom should be done (but not burnt), toppings on their way to melting
4) You could pull it at that point, but usually you pop it back in, closer to the fire, to finish the top with more intense heat. You could rotate again after a few minutes but chances are you don't have to, and you just pull it out of the oven.
hippywife (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-13-10 07:24 PM
MRS. ALFRED PACKER
Response to Original message
9. Glad you finally got to do this and hope you are doing well these days.
WhiteTara (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-13-10 10:48 PM
Response to Original message
10. that's beautiful and I'm looking forward to the knowledge you gained. Thank you so much for sharing. I love pizza and have been striving to create a good crust for a long time. That the ww is really tasty excites me. I'm looking forward to great pizza that isn't killing my beloved with high glycemic white flour.
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"some kind of bread"...
WTF? Do you not know what sourdough looks like? Or pumpernickel, or rye, or white, or wheat, or flatbread? Chef? Maybe at McDonalds, but even that might be a stretch.
Oh, and DUmmies? Wanna make pizza? Go to store. Buy frozen (or thawed) dough balls. Roll them out on counter using flour so it doesn't stick to counter. Buy sauce. Buy toppings (doesn't matter what--get what you like!) Buy cheese (again, doesn't matter, get what you like!)
Place small amount of sauce on rolled out dough. Place on small amount of cheese, then toppings, then more cheese. Place on cookie or baking sheet if you don't have a pizza stone or sheet in the middle rack of a preheated oven. Shorter time at higher temps for crispy crust, longer time at lower temps for chewy crust. Remove from oven, allow to cool for a moment, cut and serve.
Gee, wasn't that ****ing easy? Can you give me $100 now? I'm guessing that's what you artsy-fartsy ****ers pay for a one-hour cooking class.
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"some kind of bread"...
WTF? Do you not know what sourdough looks like? Or pumpernickel, or rye, or white, or wheat, or flatbread? Chef? Maybe at McDonalds, but even that might be a stretch.
Oh, and DUmmies? Wanna make pizza? Go to store. Buy frozen (or thawed) dough balls. Roll them out on counter using flour so it doesn't stick to counter. Buy sauce. Buy toppings (doesn't matter what--get what you like!) Buy cheese (again, doesn't matter, get what you like!)
Place small amount of sauce on rolled out dough. Place on small amount of cheese, then toppings, then more cheese. Place on cookie or baking sheet if you don't have a pizza stone or sheet in the middle rack of a preheated oven. Shorter time at higher temps for crispy crust, longer time at lower temps for chewy crust. Remove from oven, allow to cool for a moment, cut and serve.
Gee, wasn't that ****ing easy? Can you give me $100 now? I'm guessing that's what you artsy-fartsy ****ers pay for a one-hour cooking class.
:hi5: that's how I do it too!
I checked the website....$90 for a 4 hr class. :o
Man...I'm going to start giving cooking lessons!!
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They cook relatively quickly. Interestingly they use a WOOD paddle to put it IN the oven, but a metal paddle to rotate it and take it out...
Groundbreaking stuff here, folks. :rotf:
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Groundbreaking stuff here, folks. :rotf:
What difference does it make to the pizza, if it's put in with a wooden paddle or a metal one, or a grain-scoop?
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I don't know if the pizza cares, but it obviously impressed the DUmmy.
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It is superb flour. I make my "everyday" bread with their white whole wheat and vital wheat gluten from Bob's Red Mill. King Aurthur makes the most beautiful, soft (sandwich soft), airy and tasty bread I've ever had. Even when I cheat and make it in the bread machine.
Cindie
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"Martha White" or "Southern Bisquit" flour + big glob of home made lard + some home made buttermilk + oven = cat head bisquits to die for.....or from as the case may be. :-)
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What difference does it make to the pizza, if it's put in with a wooden paddle or a metal one, or a grain-scoop?
Pizza dough is real sticky. A floured wooden paddle will allow the dough to slide off easier. Once it starts cooking, it doesn't matter.
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Pizza dough is real sticky. A floured wooden paddle will allow the dough to slide off easier. Once it starts cooking, it doesn't matter.
Flour is the key. It would do the same on a metal paddle.
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I don't think diet cola's pizza looks very appetizing. Poor presentation. I wouldn't pay for it, for example. In CT it was fashionable to put the fresh mozz on the pizza. Never much cared for it, it was too blah tasting.
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I don't think diet cola's pizza looks very appetizing. Poor presentation. I wouldn't pay for it, for example. In CT it was fashionable to put the fresh mozz on the pizza. Never much cared for it, it was too blah tasting.
Here's an idea for you...fried basil leaves. I'm not kidding. Get some out of your garden or buy them. Put them in a fryer for about 20-30 seconds, let them drain, then top your pizza with them.
If you haven't done it, you don't know what you're missing.
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I make pizza with Pillsbury Pizza dough that's in the dairy case.
Flatten in out in the pan, brush with olive oil and sprinkle with garlic salt. Bake at 450 for about 5 minutes.
Cover with sliced plum tomatoes (that I have de-seeded, and let sit on a paper towel while the dough cooks), sliced buffalo mozzarella, shreds of fresh basil, diced garlic and pepper.
Bake another 10-15 minutes until crust is done and cheese is melted.
Good for snack or appetizer...
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I like quick french bread pizza. Take a slice of it, top with Ragu Pizza Quick sauce, add some chunks of pepperoni, and top with shredded Kraft Mozzarella and pop in the toaster over for a few minutes.
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:drool:
this pizza talk is making me want one!!!
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I just go down the street to this great little mom and pop place that makes yummy pizzas from scratch. We can eat it there or get it to go. Or Papa Murpheys...not bad for a chain. In the oven 10-15 minutes and dinner's ready.
Cindie
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That was a butt ugly pizza....the cheese looked like someone splooged on it
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My pizza would blow this primitive's pizza out of the water. I make a white flour crust from scratch that is out of this world. I can even spread herbs throughout to make a really good Italian style (not authentic though) crust.
Pizza is all about the crust. I have a very high opinion about mine.
I usually stick to a cheese pizza, but I can make supreme as well. This guy has nothing on me in terms of "mouth watering" pizza. :tongue:
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:drool:
this pizza talk is making me want one!!!
:exactly:
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A wood fired oven? Think about the pollution, you silly primitives.
I'll tell you what, though. Being the generous type, I will let you have use of our wood fired oven. In exchange, and since I know you are all of the environmentally conscious persuasion, I will require you to wear a snorkel so as to trap the wood smoke fumes.
This will solve the only two potential issues that immediately come to mind. Firstly, the evil wood smoke fumes will be trapped by your lung tissue, and filtered out so that your favorite spotted owl/skunk/pubic bacteria will continue to thrive in the fresh air. Secondly, so that your hot cheese smegma fumes don't pollute my own (or my neighbor's) olfactory system.
Being primitives, I am sure you will want the choice of experiencing the wood smoke snorkel being attached to your other unholy bodily orifices. I cannot allow that, and I sincerely hope it is not a deal breaker.
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A wood fired oven? Think about the pollution, you silly primitives.
I'll tell you what, though. Being the generous type, I will let you have use of our wood fired oven. In exchange, and since I know you are all of the environmentally conscious persuasion, I will require you to wear a snorkel so as to trap the wood smoke fumes.
This will solve the only two potential issues that immediately come to mind. Firstly, the evil wood smoke fumes will be trapped by your lung tissue, and filtered out so that your favorite spotted owl/skunk/pubic bacteria will continue to thrive in the fresh air. Secondly, so that your hot cheese smegma fumes don't pollute my own (or my neighbor's) olfactory system.
Being primitives, I am sure you will want the choice of experiencing the wood smoke snorkel being attached to your other unholy bodily orifices. I cannot allow that, and I sincerely hope it is not a deal breaker.
Yeah, really, a WOOD FIRED OVEN!
That's that much less wood I will have to burn this winter to heat my house, all so some damned DUmmie can have a "pizza"....
:redbird: DUmbasses!
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"It's all right,
It's O.K,
We all need
Propane!"
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"It's all right,
It's O.K,
We all need
Propane!"
DUmmies don't need propane....
They need REAL PAIN! In gigantic quantities!
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DUmmies don't need propane....
They need REAL PAIN! In gigantic quantities!
Propane used in gigantic quantities can cause real pain. :fuelfire:
See how I reparsed your statement?
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I make pizza with Pillsbury Pizza dough that's in the dairy case.
Flatten in out in the pan, brush with olive oil and sprinkle with garlic salt. Bake at 450 for about 5 minutes.
Cover with sliced plum tomatoes (that I have de-seeded, and let sit on a paper towel while the dough cooks), sliced buffalo mozzarella, shreds of fresh basil, diced garlic and pepper.
Bake another 10-15 minutes until crust is done and cheese is melted.
Good for snack or appetizer...
If you want a real good pizza - cook it in a covered BBQ grill with medium heat. I make my own dough, flour good after rising, brush with olive oil. Drop on grill, (make sure grill is lubed too), close lid three minutes, open, flip crust. Add sauce and toppings - feta cheese, roast beef, real Canadian bacon, pepperoni, capers - be creative. Close lid for 10 minutes.
Enjoy!
Actually you can buy a Digiorno's pizza and cook it on the grill. You must be using charcoal though.
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For all of their insistence that society be forced by government to be "equal", the dummies surely spend a lot of time trying to be different. They're always going on about their ridiculous things, wood burned pizza, full of shit burgers, 70 hour boiled eggs... all in an attempt to be special since their lives are so meaningless.