The Conservative Cave

The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Eupher on July 14, 2010, 09:58:41 PM

Title: For Musicians....
Post by: Eupher on July 14, 2010, 09:58:41 PM

A C, an E-flat and a G go into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, but we don't serve minors".
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them....

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: dutch508 on July 14, 2010, 10:33:22 PM

Quote from: Eupher on July 14, 2010, 09:58:41 PM

A C, an E-flat and a G go into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, but we don't serve minors".
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them....

Who was the last note to loose their virginity?

The E flat.

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: PatriotGame on July 15, 2010, 03:44:37 PM

"I can C a bridge from my house".

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: Eupher on July 15, 2010, 04:03:09 PM

That would be hard when your vision is diminished. But if you augment your mediant, you won't have as much dissonance.

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: PatriotGame on July 15, 2010, 04:16:51 PM

Quote from: Eupher on July 15, 2010, 04:03:09 PM

That would be hard when your vision is diminished. But if you augment your mediant, you won't have as much dissonance.

Echo...echo...sibilance...sibilance...is there an echo in hear?

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: DefiantSix on July 15, 2010, 08:52:17 PM

Damn.  Musician humor is even worse than engineers humor.  :thatsright:

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: Rick on July 16, 2010, 05:30:45 PM

Yeh, Im going to need some clef notes to understand it.

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: littlelamb on July 19, 2010, 02:44:04 AM

Quote from: Ranger Rick on July 16, 2010, 05:30:45 PM

Yeh, Im going to need some clef notes to understand it.

Me too LOL

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: Thor on July 22, 2010, 05:39:55 PM

This joke went to hell in an allegro manner........

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: Eupher on July 23, 2010, 08:34:38 AM

Question: What's the difference between a viola and a violin?
Answer: The viola takes longer to burn.

Question: How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune?
Answer: Shoot one of them.

Question: How many musician jokes are there?
Answer: Just one. The rest are true.

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: Eupher on July 23, 2010, 08:42:21 AM

These are expressly for Thor:

Question: How do you know when there's a trombone player at your door?
Answer: His hat says "Domino's Pizza"

Question: What is the definition of "gentleman"?
Answer: Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.

Question: How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Answer: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all the notes.

My personal fave:

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.


 :tongue:

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: The Hollywood NeoCon on August 15, 2010, 05:08:21 PM

What do you call a drummer who's broken up with his girlfriend???



Homeless.  :bawl:

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: vesta111 on August 15, 2010, 05:17:41 PM

I keep breaking my G string, but my bra is still a B flat.

Title: Re: For Musicians....
Post by: Thor on October 10, 2010, 10:46:15 PM

Quote from: Eupher on July 23, 2010, 08:42:21 AM

These are expressly for Thor:

Question: How do you know when there's a trombone player at your door?
Answer: His hat says "Domino's Pizza"

Question: What is the definition of "gentleman"?
Answer: Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.

Question: How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
Answer: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all the notes.

My personal fave:

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.


 :tongue:

Hey Eupher??  :bird: :tongue: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: