Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 03:48 PM
HE LARGE-PROBOSCISED PRIMITIVE, OSCAR WILDE
Original message
The Dittohead at the party
To me, parties are a plague. But once in a while I’m obliged to go to a birthday party, an anniversary party, a wedding, etc. And the worst are those where you don’t get to choose where you sit.
So there I was, trapped sitting next to a Dittohead. I didn’t know it when I sat down, or I would have faked some kind of physical ailment and screamed for an ambulance.
It took about two minutes of “conversation†for me to realize my situation and at that point, I was seriously considering the ambulance option.
Without going into detail about the nature of this party, or when it took place, (because there were people there who read DU), I was stuck, screwed and miserable. I couldn’t get up and walk away. I couldn’t change seats. And although death seemed rather attractive at the moment, I didn’t have the guts to stab myself with a fork.
In effect, I was a captive audience. Perhaps I was a bit too polite. My brain instructed me to tell this guy that he was a screaming asshole, but my mouth refused to cooperate. I made a few half-hearted attempts to inform him of the error of his ways, all the while knowing that it’s impossible to reason with a zombie. (There were people there I knew and being rude was not an option.)
Anyhow, the few hours I spent at that party were the longest year of my life.
So here’s my question. What would you have done?
Bigmack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'm not lecturing you... I'm lecturing me.
We must be prepared with one-line Crushers for use in situations. Other situations, too.
And then we gotta practice them.... a lot... so that it only takes a second or two to whip it out.
"I won't talk politics with people with your views... it's pointless." is a good one.
Another, that I've used, is (Laughing ruefully... "Jesus.. You don't really believe that shit, do you? Just keep it to yourself and we'll be fine."
"You get your political advice from that Junkie Gasbag... you are hopeless."
And I'm practicing....
Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 04:16 PM
THE LARGE-PROBOSCISED PRIMITIVE, OSCAR WILDE
Response to Reply #7
12. Unfortunately, it was a rather small group and whatever I said might have been overheard. Further, I didn't want to make a scene, or insult the hostess. (I did, however, want to kill the hostess for inviting me.)
MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
17. By the time I was done with him, he'd be screaming for mercy
The one thing that I can not suffer is some fool.
tularetom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 05:07 PM
THE LAKE-FRONT REAL-ESTATE MAGNATE PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
18. Turned down the invitation to the party
The only parties I would attend are the ones we have here at the house where we can control who is there.
Unfortunately the family holidays like thanksgiving are the ones we have no control because we have to invite our asshat relatives.
One year I had to ask my nephew to leave because he kept bitching about the "N-words" that got jobs that he had applied for.
Even the other family wing nuts were glad to see him go. Even his wife.
Kelvin Mace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 05:17 PM
THE MALICIOUS CARTOON CHARACTER PRIMITIVE; A PROMINENT ANDYITE
Response to Original message
20. You don't have to call them an asshole or behave impolitely. I have found that mildly amused incredulity works very well. You treat them like you would a five year old who is explaining their views on brain surgery.
I routinely deal with truck drivers, very, very reactionary pro-Limbaugh types. I had one ranting about how unions were "destroying America and jobs". I smiled and responded:
"I might agree with you except for this curious article I read in the Financial Times during the Detroit bailout talks that while the U.S. divisions were broke, the European divisions were making money. This was strange since European countries have unions, plus severe (by American standards) laws about minimum vacation time, maternity/paternity leave, short work weeks, plus socialist programs like universal health care. It would seem to me that if unions, stringent government safety/work rules, and massive socialism are bad, then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money while their American counterparts, lacking all of these disadvantages, bled money."
Always smile, always be polite, but make your point. If they get upset, let them shout. I have driven many a loon to apoplexy with this approach.
Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 03:48 PMI would have grabbed YOUR fork and stabbed you square in the middle of your forehead, splitting your uni-brow.
HE LARGE-PROBOSCISED PRIMITIVE, OSCAR WILDE
Original message
The Dittohead at the party
So here’s my question. What would you have done?
I was stuck, screwed and miserable. I couldn’t get up and walk away. I couldn’t change seats. And although death seemed rather attractive at the moment,
Bigmack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Jul-07-10 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'm not lecturing you... I'm lecturing me.
We must be prepared with one-line Crushers for use in situations. Other situations, too.
And then we gotta practice them.... a lot... so that it only takes a second or two to whip it out.
"I won't talk politics with people with your views... it's pointless." is a good one.
Another, that I've used, is (Laughing ruefully... "Jesus.. You don't really believe that shit, do you? Just keep it to yourself and we'll be fine."
"You get your political advice from that Junkie Gasbag... you are hopeless."
And I'm practicing....
Let me see, these are the people that believe themselves to be so very much smarter than anyone else that the best they can come up with are inane responses that a 5 YO would use, and they have to practice them?
Kelvin Mace
I had one ranting about how unions were "destroying America and jobs". I smiled and responded:
"I might agree with you except for this curious article I read in the Financial Times during the Detroit bailout talks that while the U.S. divisions were broke, the European divisions were making money. This was strange since European countries have unions, plus severe (by American standards) laws about minimum vacation time, maternity/paternity leave, short work weeks, plus socialist programs like universal health care. It would seem to me that if unions, stringent government safety/work rules, and massive socialism are bad, then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money while their American counterparts, lacking all of these disadvantages, bled money."
What a flaming drama queen. How about just changing the subject to something non-political? Recently seen movies? The weather? Hobbies? Occupations? Hows Business? Family? A good joke? American Idol? Travels you've made?
Sometimes it may seem like it, but not EVERYTHING is about politics. And, those asshats up there crowing about how they'd wipe the floor with the person, would find themselves losing friends right and left after ruining their parties.
What a flaming drama queen. How about just changing the subject to something non-political? Recently seen movies? The weather? Hobbies? Occupations? Hows Business? Family? A good joke? American Idol? Travels you've made?
Sometimes it may seem like it, but not EVERYTHING is about politics. And, those asshats up there crowing about how they'd wipe the floor with the person, would find themselves losing friends right and left after ruining their parties.
Would still be trying to remember what the hell happened and why they're waking up in the ditch along I-90!
then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money blah blah blahWhat I would say to Kelvin is that European countries subsidize favored businesses, making it appear as if they were making money. We ran into this in the paper industry all the time. In that business, you don't compete with companies. You compete with countries. Finland, Sweden, all those northern timber countries spoonfeed their paper companies so as to undercut us in price.
These people have more political encounters than a DC hooker. Rarely will I talk politics with someone I've just met and if I do it's just one of those universal kinds of jokes of the "death & taxes" or the slowness of the DMV. My best friend gets his news from The Advocate and Seattle Weekly and my very dear friend, Mary thinks MoveOn Oregon is an unbiased news source. My life would be so much less without them and we rarely talk politics because the things we have in common and our history is the glue that holds our friendship together. No wonder they're miserable, they don't know how to talk to people without an agenda.
Cindie
I didn't know I-90 went all the way to Idaho lol.
And I don't make a habit of going places and delving into politics. Who does that?
Thru the Panhandle all the way to the socialist enclave over on the coast in WA state. I think they call it Seattle.
H5 to the party guest who had this misfit so rattled he had to create a bouncy about it.
I didn't know I-90 went all the way to Idaho lol.
Like I've told y'all before, all of my friends are republicans. Bigtime. We rarely talk politics, and I certainly don't find them to be disgusting people because we have different views. And vice versa. And I don't make a habit of going places and delving into politics. Who does that?Soleil, you're doing good here - hang with it.