The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on June 29, 2010, 10:38:00 PM

Title: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on June 29, 2010, 10:38:00 PM
one for his target

and one for the guy who thinks he can go around telling Chuck Norris how many graves to dig.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on June 30, 2010, 11:29:20 AM
So Chuck Norris jokes are out of vogue, huh?
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: IassaFTots on June 30, 2010, 12:03:28 PM
Not with me.  Wanna know why Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms?  Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. 


Incidentally, a brazillion years ago I ran into Chuck Norris.  Literally.  At the movie theater.  I was leaving the theater, and he was walking in.  We bumped shoulders.  (He is short)  He said excuse me, I said no problem, and didn't even know it was him until 3 steps later. 

Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: thundley4 on June 30, 2010, 12:28:17 PM
Quote from: IassaFTots on June 30, 2010, 12:03:28 PM
Not with me.  Wanna know why Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms?  Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. 


Incidentally, a brazillion years ago I ran into Chuck Norris.  Literally.  At the movie theater.  I was leaving the theater, and he was walking in.  We bumped shoulders.  (He is short)  He said excuse me, I said no problem, and didn't even know it was him until 3 steps later. 



It took him 3 steps to roundhouse kick you for bumping into him?  He was having an off day, I guess.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on June 30, 2010, 12:47:55 PM
Chuck Norris strangled his last enemy with a cordless telephone.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: Eupher on June 30, 2010, 02:26:03 PM
Quote from: Mr Snuggle Bunny on June 30, 2010, 12:47:55 PM
Chuck Norris strangled his last enemy with a cordless telephone.

that sounds like he's running out of creative weaponry....
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: Wineslob on June 30, 2010, 02:39:51 PM
Quote from: IassaFTots on June 30, 2010, 12:03:28 PM
Not with me.  Wanna know why Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms?  Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. 


Incidentally, a brazillion years ago I ran into Chuck Norris.  Literally.  At the movie theater.  I was leaving the theater, and he was walking in.  We bumped shoulders.  (He is short)  He said excuse me, I said no problem, and didn't even know it was him until 3 steps later. 
However, what actually happened is Chuck Norris roundhoused kicked me 3 steps into the future.






Fixed    :-)
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: IassaFTots on June 30, 2010, 04:52:47 PM
Quote from: Wineslob on June 30, 2010, 02:39:51 PM



Fixed    :-)

Probably Happened just that way.  I now have bursitis/arthritis in that shoulder.  Dang that Chuck Norris.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on June 30, 2010, 07:11:37 PM
Quote from: IassaFTots on June 30, 2010, 04:52:47 PM
Probably Happened just that way.  I now have bursitis/arthritis in that shoulder.  Dang that Chuck Norris.
Or maybe you're just old.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: IassaFTots on July 01, 2010, 08:12:37 AM
Quote from: Mr Snuggle Bunny on June 30, 2010, 07:11:37 PM
Or maybe you're just old.

I thought you were my friend.   :bawl:

 :-)
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: Chris_ on July 01, 2010, 10:08:29 AM
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands...
Now they're just called the Islands.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: IassaFTots on July 01, 2010, 10:23:41 AM
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 01, 2010, 12:50:10 PM
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: IassaFTots on July 01, 2010, 02:10:58 PM
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: soleil on July 01, 2010, 02:17:01 PM
Why does all of this remind me of SNL's Bill Brasky?   :-)
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 02, 2010, 01:14:43 PM
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: Madam Firecracker on July 02, 2010, 01:29:49 PM
Windows Vista runs just fine on Chuck Norris's PC.

They are making a sequel to 300 with Chuck Norris called 1.

Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: IassaFTots on July 02, 2010, 02:10:05 PM
Chuck Norris counted to infinity ~ twice.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 02, 2010, 08:12:33 PM
Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights on.

Because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: NHSparky on July 02, 2010, 08:16:57 PM
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.

Too bad Chuck never cries.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 02, 2010, 08:47:32 PM
"Brokeback Mountain" was originally a documentary about the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' front yard.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: cavegal on July 02, 2010, 09:14:45 PM
Chuck Norris  shot down an enemy plane once by pointing his finger and yelling "bang"! :popcorn:
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 03, 2010, 09:29:22 AM
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: NHSparky on July 03, 2010, 10:12:38 AM
There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 03, 2010, 11:48:22 AM
Quote from: NHSparky on July 03, 2010, 10:12:38 AM
There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.

It's descendants are called giraffes.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: NHSparky on July 03, 2010, 12:07:01 PM
Chuck Norris does not have a God Complex.

God has a Chuck Norris Complex.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: Airwolf on July 03, 2010, 01:38:19 PM
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: Chris_ on July 03, 2010, 01:57:11 PM
Quote from: Airwolf on July 03, 2010, 01:38:19 PM
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

:rotf:
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on July 03, 2010, 04:10:04 PM
Quote from: NHSparky on July 03, 2010, 12:07:01 PM
Chuck Norris does not have a God Complex.

God has a Chuck Norris Complex.
The Bible was originally titled, "Chuck Norris and Friends"
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: zeitgeist on August 05, 2010, 04:41:27 PM
Chuck Norris never opened a can of Whoop Ass, he whips it up from scratch!
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: NHSparky on August 06, 2010, 07:29:43 AM
Count from one to ten.  That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you.  47 TIMES.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

The chemical formula for the very deadly cyanide ion in CN-.  It is not a coincidence these are Chuck Norris' initials.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy.  There were no survivors.

Some people wear Superman pajamas.  Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris and Mister T walked into a bar.  The building was instantly destroyed as no building can contain that level of awesome.

The phrase, "Dead Ringer" is someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater who forgets to turn off their cell phone.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: NHSparky on August 26, 2010, 07:44:15 PM
Rainbows are created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the gheyness out of Justin Bieber.
Title: Re: When Chuck Norris goes out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves
Post by: debk on August 26, 2010, 11:22:08 PM
Quote from: Mr Snuggle Bunny on July 03, 2010, 11:48:22 AM
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.

It's descendants are called giraffes.


 :lmao: