CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-23-10 01:59 AMhttp://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9407400
Original message
Very new poem: The Promise
translucent orange
glowing across
the room I saw
salt rimmed
glass
in her
hand
full
browned softness
gathered across her
breasts showing
her life
freely given
hands float above the
glass
the sunset glows
inside
the salt rim
he watches her give
the
promise
freely
© 2010 MLC
Capn Sunshine (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-23-10 02:01 AM
Response to Original message
1. I love how your poems conjure up an image from a scene somewhere
Edited on Wed Jun-23-10 02:03 AM by Capn Sunshine
Nicely notated , Peg.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-23-10 02:03 AM:puke:
Response to Reply #1
2. My dear Capn Sunshine!
Thank you...
I am nothing if not visual...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9407400
:puke:
The Prom is..
That was... interesting. :rofl:
The poem
it sucks
just
like
a
hoover
Silver
gleaming
noisy like a jet
plane
straining to break
its earthly
bounds
oh
boy
time
for another
hit
No copywrite, feel free to use it as you see fit. :rotf:
The poem
it sucks
just
like
a
hoover
Silver
gleaming
noisy like a jet
plane
straining to break
its earthly
bounds
oh
boy
time
for another
hit
No copywrite, feel free to use it as you see fit. :rotf:
:lmao: :lmao: H5 if we still could.
:lmao:
That poem absolutely stinks and the few in that thread who said they loved the poem? well if it's so good than how come it has 0 recs? and what image is it supposed to conjure up? and is a salt rimmed glass supposed to be a margarita? or does the glass salt rimmed mean something sexual?
And what's with the soft brown crap all over her chest? :mental:
Roses are red violets are blue
Hope to never hear from you
And, why is she writing a poem from a man's point of view? :confused:
Commies are reds,
Mallards are ducks,
CalPig's a Commie,
And her poetry sucks!
:fuelfire:
Yeah, it was obtuse, stupid, and indecipherable even by the standards of her so-called poetic imagery. What the Hell was translucent orange, a window in early or late day light? A salt-rimmed glass is pretty specific to Margaritas, but nothing else seems to relate to an actual drink and you can't tell if 'Being inside it' means a reflected image or is suppose to be some particularly horrifying stab at creating a metaphor (Epic fail either way). And what's with the soft brown crap all over her chest? What does that have to do with anything, or did somebody wing a chocolate cream pie at her tits?
Jeeze. Terrible.
:mental:
I too, like the "Commies are Red" piece. It has a nice cadence.
Capn Sunshine (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-23-10 02:01 AMYea - an image like this:
Response to Original message
1. I love how your poems conjure up an image from a scene somewhere
Edited on Wed Jun-23-10 02:03 AM by Capn Sunshine
Nicely notated , Peg.
The Prom is..
agent orange
is what they called me
toxic
foul smelling
deadly
poison
gas
Depends full
brown softness
smeared across my
breasts showing
scatological
kink and fetish
after they all
leave
I am voted Prom Queen
and King
ex-lax kicking in again
the
prom is
awesome
© 2010 M.
Well, ........................ :rotf:Glad you caught that. I've seen "her" photo. :-)
:rofl: No love for Lou Holtz at the DUmp.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 06:43 PM
Original message
A lazy Sunday afternoon poem: The Purple Flower
in the car next to hers
is a girl with black
hair
coiled up in a bun
with a black
hat
the nape of her neck
sports a
purple flower
she’s zipping along
with the
rag top down
she never saw
the girl next to her
who was
weeping
while they stopped
at the
light
© 2010 MLC
She knocked this one off yesterday....
I can think of nothing to say.
I wonder what sort of hat would allow you to show off a purple flower at the nape of your neck to its best effect.
I've never seen a flower worn there. Come to think of it, wouldn't it look really stupid? It would look like an unfortunate tumor.
DesertFlower (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
2. interesting. made me wonder
why the girl was weeping.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. My dear DesertFlower...
You're supposed to wonder...
It's for whatever reason you want...
DesertFlower (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 09:09 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. her heart is broken because
her boyfriend left her.
WinkyDink (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
5. So many never notice the hurting. They start at the same spot, but some get to wear "the purple"
Edited on Sun Jun-27-10 08:26 PM by WinkyDink
whilst scorning the poor ("ragtop").
The favored are "black", "coiled" as a snake, recklessly offering their "nape" as they "zip...along".
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. My dear WinkyDink...
My poem does not have any political interpretations...
None.
However, if you want to see it that way, I can't stop you.
jotsy (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-28-10 11:26 AM
Response to Reply #12
15. Where is my birdie brain?
Congratulations on your second place finish in the photo contest, I voted for that shot in the first round and must confess, had I known it was your work, I'd have voted for it in the finals too. Really captivating ripples and how the reflection of the bird, looked sun soaked.
A diverse artist you are, Miss Peg.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Mon Jun-28-10 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Aw, thanks, sweetie...
It was a lucky shot...
I'm so glad you liked it!
I really did not want to win...the winner's prize is to run the next month's contest!
Thank you!
DesertFlower (1000+ posts) Sun Jun-27-10 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
2. interesting. made me wonder
why the girl was weeping.
Anyone would weep if they were subjected to CalPiggy's poem.
My Little Flower
The fragrance around you is thrilling
like the subtle perfume of a rose
so why do I blanch when you kiss me
as the smell of horseshit meets my nose?
I wonder why this is a problem
when your body and hands smell so sweet.
Is it the flatulent odours
or the reek of your horrible feet?
It could be the vomit-like current
of your sickening horrible breath
or the whiff of your dark lank hair
that reminds me so often of death.
So when you kiss me darling
forgive me if I fart
but I must combat the feeling
that the smell will stop my heart.
My Little Flower
The fragrance around you is thrilling
like the subtle perfume of a rose
so why do I blanch when you kiss me
as the smell of horseshit meets my nose?
I wonder why this is a problem
when your body and hands smell so sweet.
Is it the flatulent odours
or the reek of your horrible feet?
It could be the vomit-like current
of your sickening horrible breath
or the whiff of your dark lank hair
that reminds me so often of death.
So when you kiss me darling
forgive me if I fart
but I must combat the feeling
that the smell will stop my heart.