The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Ralph Wiggum on June 23, 2010, 09:19:58 AM
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June 18 marks the 68th anniversary of Paul McCartney's birth -- if he had lived.
Yes, that's right, if he had lived.
Because while that old "Paul is dead" urban legend was supposedly killed when McCartney himself did a news conference in 1969 announcing that the rumors of his death had been "greatly exaggerated," an upcoming new documentary is hoping to exhume it -- with the alleged help of George Harrison.
The death-oriented documentary is called "Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison," and it reviews all the old clues that supposedly were embedded in Beatles records (i.e. when "I'm So Tired" is played backward, John reportedly says, "Paul is dead miss him miss him.").
Documentary director Joel Gilbert claims that recordings made by Harrison were sent anonymously from London and arrived at the office of Highway 61 Productions, a company that specializes in Bob Dylan documentaries, on July 5, 2005, 3 1/2 years after the Beatle guitarist's death.
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But while there is little in the film that hasn't been discussed at Beatles conventions or bong shops for 40 years, there are two things that make this documentary unique.
First, it is narrated by a person with a Liverpudlian accent claiming to be Harrison, who supposedly recorded this confession on Dec. 30, 1999, days after the real Harrison was assaulted in his home outside London by an intruder.
Second: The person claiming to be Harrison suggests that McCartney's future ex-wife, Heather Mills, inadvertently caused the singer's death on the morning of Nov. 9, 1966 (which the Beatles supposedly hint on their song "She's Leaving Home": "Wednesday morning at 5 o'clock as the day begins").
Confused? Especially since Mills was born in January 1968, 14 months after her future ex-hubby allegedly "blew his mind out in a car." Well, Gilbert is willing to ride the fine line between objectivity and advocacy.
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But, wait? How is Mills allegedly responsible for McCartney's death if she wasn't born yet?
Well, according to the alleged Harrison narrator, it goes like this: On Nov. 9, 1966, McCartney left a Beatles recording session, angry at John Lennon. Driving home, he picked up a woman walking in the rain, whose name was "Rita," and, yes, she was lovely.
When the woman recognized her driver was a famous Beatle, she went nuts and started hugging him, distracting him to the point where he crashed into a truck.
Then "Harrison" claims the three surviving Beatles were called to the scene by a member of MI5, the British equivalent to the CIA, known as "Maxwell."
He said that the death of a Beatle might cause a rash of suicides around the world, and he threatened Lennon, Harrison and Ringo Starr with death unless they agreed to keep McCartney's death a secret and to use the services of William Campbell, the winner of a Paul McCartney lookalike contestant, as his replacement.
The right-handed Campbell was given lessons on playing the bass guitar left-handed and copious amounts of plastic surgery to make his resemblance even closer to McCartney's.
Meanwhile, the one witness, "Rita," was also given plastic surgery and a name change to Heather Mills. According to the documentary, she jumped out of sight until 1993 when she contacted the allegedly fake McCartney and threatened to reveal the secret unless the singer married her.
Then, the documentary claims, she was hit by a police motorcycle a few days later and lost her left leg 6 inches below her knee.
It's a lot to swallow, which is why rock experts like Anthony DeCurtis are calling the theory and documentary "ridiculous!"
LINK (http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/paul-is-dead-rumor-heather-mills-caused-paul-mccartneys-death-in-1966/19519306)
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Narrated by spooked911.
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spooked911 will be invited to Oprah's show.
It'll be the most-watched TV docu-drama EVAH.
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Good grief!