The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Carl on June 09, 2010, 12:36:33 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8520790
mwb970 (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-09-10 11:01 AM
Original message
Overheard during breakfast in a restaurant this morning....
Edited on Wed Jun-09-10 11:03 AM by mwb970
Elderly Woman: "That awful Helen Thomas was finally forced to retire."
Elderly Male Companion: "Why? What did she do?"
EW: "She made a terrible, disgusting comment."
EMC: "My goodness! What did she say?"
(awkward pause)
EW: "Well, I don't know exactly what it was, but it was a really, really terrible thing to say."
EMC: "Hmm. I wonder what it was."
And there you have it - the standard right-wing combination of a strong opinion, absolute certainty, and total ignorance of the subject at hand.
I think I may prefer to this case to my previous favorite example, which was when a good friend, after railing at length about the horribleness of teachers' unions, said "I don't know anything about industrial unions, but I'm sure they are exactly the same." Strong opinion? Check. Absolute certainty? Check. Total ignorance? Check. (She even acknowledged this last point herself, right in her own statement!)
Anyone else have an example of this?
av8rdave (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-09-10 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
2. A conservative friend of mine was ranting about Obama taking away our liberties
Finally, I asked him what rights Obama had taken away, other than the right to live under a white President.
He sounded exactly like Palin. He stammered, paused, and said, "I can guarantee you there have been several. I'll find out."
He's a fan of Glenn Beck on his facebook page. Need I say more?
Oh...you mean like the left did for 8 years?
Contrary1 (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-09-10 12:30 PM
Response to Original message
7. Here's my favorite, compliments of a sister-in-law:
SIL: "I won't vote for John Kerry because he's wishy-washy."
Me: Really? And how is he wishy-washy?
SIL: "He keeps changing his mind on everything."
Me: What did he change his mind on that bothers you most?
SIL: "Uhhhh..."
Me: Can you tell me anything John Kerry has changed his mind on?
SIL: "Not on such short notice, but I know he has."
They are all Sarah Palins. This is why she is so popular. She speaks stutters for them.
Yeah right. :whatever:
KonaKane (1000+ posts) Wed Jun-09-10 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
15. In Bagger-world, outrage does not require thought and reflection.
It just requires reacting. Like a worm to sunlight.
From the DUmp no less. :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
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Ask me that Obama/liberties question. I know the answer. I'm one rethug who would not stammer or be tongue-tied by your Little Goon brilliance.
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Ask me that Obama/liberties question. I know the answer. I'm one rethug who would not stammer or be tongue-tied by your Little Goon brilliance.
I'm pretty sure I can handle the Helen Thomas & John Kerry questions. Let's go find this moonbat, Undies.
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I'm pretty sure I can handle the Helen Thomas & John Kerry questions. Let's go find this moonbat, Undies.
I'm putting on my shoes.
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I'm putting on my shoes.
Take a ball bat with you.
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Take a ball bat with you.
A riot shotgun might be more approprtiate.
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Take a ball bat with you.
And leave the spiky ball on a chain at home? I got it at the Medieval Times gift shop.
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And leave the spiky ball on a chain at home? I got it at the Medieval Times gift shop.
I've got a cattle prod you can borrow!
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I've got a cattle prod you can borrow!
I like the way you think. Less marks.
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Fiftieth birthday party over the weekend. Frizzy haired unattractive women says that it is terrible that the Gores are getting divorced. I agree that no matter how misguided AlGore is that has to be tough. She says she lover Gore. I tell her i do not and he is the biggest con man in history. She leaves in a huff.
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Fiftieth birthday party over the weekend. Frizzy haired unattractive women says that it is terrible that the Gores are getting divorced. I agree that no matter how misguided AlGore is that has to be tough. She says she lover Gore. I tell her i do not and he is the biggest con man in history. She leaves in a huff.
Fifty-sixth birthday party coming up Saturday. I hope I'm so entertained!
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Fifty-sixth birthday party coming up Saturday. I hope I'm so entertained!
Knew there had to be a reason we think alike! I turned 56 in January!
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Knew there had to be a reason we think alike! I turned 56 in January!
This birthday is especially special since I "died" last July. I am suppose to be a year's worth of worm food now, but instead, I have a birthday coming up.
I'm a realist and I'm not a fool. I know I probably won't live to see 60. If I live to 65 it will be because Jesus Christ Himself intervenes, so it is an important birthday to me. They seem to be dwindling away now.
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This birthday is especially special since I "died" last July. I am suppose to be a year's worth of worm food now, but instead, I have a birthday coming up.
I'm a realist and I'm not a fool. I know I probably won't live to see 60. If I live to 65 it will be because Jesus Christ Himself intervenes, so it is an important birthday to me. They seem to be dwindling away now.
Yeah, I know the feeling! My pancreas shut down a coupla months ago! Thought I was a goner there for a while!
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Boy oh boy, I know what the DUmmie's talking about. Only I was in the line at the grocery store, or maybe a gas station. Could've been the Walmart parking lot. But that's not important right now. See, I have a photographic memory when I'm eavesdropping on other people's conversations that are completely none of my business. Sometimes I even save them up for weeks and actually add, I mean remember new details as it ferments in my brain.
Anyway these 2 lefties were talking. I know they were lefties because people on the right don't blame the jooooooos every time a Palestinian has a hangnail or some airhead college student gets flattened by a steamroller.
Anyway, the woman (I think it was a woman, sometimes it's hard to tell) says, "That Helen Thomas is so smart, she speaks truth to power and gets crucified...no pun intended."
Then the guy says, "I didn't get to hear the news for a few days cuz I was down in Arizona protesting the racist, fascist governor and her illegal law, then I was at Lou's house in Humboldt County helping him harvest his crop. What did she say?"
"Well," she says, "You have to understand nuance, which most rightwing nuts don't understand. She said the jooooooooos should leave Israel so the Palestinians can have their land back. I mean it's only those Bible-thumping idiots who believe that nonsense in the Bible. Well, even if the Romans did count them in the census but then they all left and went to Poland and Germany and the US. Besides I'm pretty sure their Bible mentions Palestine but they just want to ignore that."
"What did they do to her?"
"Who?"
"Helen Thomas!"
"Oh. They made her quit so Faux News can take her seat! Imagine giving her seat to those joooooooo-loving reich wing corporate whores!"
"Who made her quit?"
"Those Christian corporations! I'm pretty sure Poppy Bush got the CIA involved and Rove too! They forced her to say something the simple-minded couldn't understand."
Well, that's all I remember. Besides I was so disgusted I wanted to get away as fast as I could.
Cindie
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Yeah, I know the feeling! My pancreas shut down a coupla months ago! Thought I was a goner there for a while!
I had complete respiratory failure and heart failure shortly after midnight last July 17th. I stayed in a coma for eight days. I had been without oxygen for over six minutes. Even if I made it I was suppose to be "brain damaged". Luckily, they had no way to tell. ha ha.
Then I had an abdominal aorta aneurysms raise its ugly head, I went through that surgery in January. Other than an autopsy, that's the most traumatic thing a body can endure. But here I am. I'm gonna be 56. I wasn't suppose to be 56. But prayer kept me here.
I'm gonna be 56! Praise the Lord!
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I had complete respiratory failure and heart failure shortly after midnight last July 17th. I stayed in a coma for eight days. I had been without oxygen for over six minutes. Even if I made it I was suppose to be "brain damaged". Luckily, they had no way to tell. ha ha.
Then I had an abdominal aorta aneurysms raise its ugly head, I went through that surgery in January. Other than an autopsy, that's the most traumatic thing a body can endure. But here I am. I'm gonna be 56. I wasn't suppose to be 56. But prayer kept me here.
I'm gonna be 56! Praise the Lord!
If you're anything like me or most conservative men our age, you're just too ornery to leave!
They're goin' to have to take me kickin' and screamin'!
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A riot shotgun might be more approprtiate.
If your going to get close to one you might want to also bring soap, water and deodorant. :-)
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Why do these LWN's never tire of making up these preposterous tall tales? I am constantly amazed at this AND there self percieved ability to know what a Conservative is thinking. And it is ALWAYS racist. Why might that be?
Is it possible that these projections come from WITHIN?!? Some, well, many,head shrinks say it does! :censored:
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If you're anything like me or most conservative men our age, you're just too ornery to leave!
They're goin' to have to take me kickin' and screamin'!
No, I'm just stunned.
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I live in one of the bluest states in the union and not once -- never ever ever -- has anyone engaged me in a conversation that these misfits find themselves in on a regular basis.
I have the answers they are looking for. By all means just ask me next time I am in the grocery store/gas station/doctor's office/post office.
Let's talk doll.
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_lWET_BXRU9c/SnT0veTntzI/AAAAAAAADmk/JTdHWS72XkY/s400/snl101myersrichman010704.jpg)
:-*
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I live in one of the bluest states in the union and not once -- never ever ever -- has anyone engaged me in a conversation that these misfits find themselves in on a regular basis.
I have the answers they are looking for. By all means just ask me next time I am in the grocery store/gas station/doctor's office/post office.
Let's talk doll.
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_lWET_BXRU9c/SnT0veTntzI/AAAAAAAADmk/JTdHWS72XkY/s400/snl101myersrichman010704.jpg)
:-*
Who's got a pic of the Church Lady from Sat Night Live?
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Boy oh boy, I know what the DUmmie's talking about. Only I was in the line at the grocery store, or maybe a gas station. Could've been the Walmart parking lot. But that's not important right now. See, I have a photographic memory when I'm eavesdropping on other people's conversations that are completely none of my business. Sometimes I even save them up for weeks and actually add, I mean remember new details as it ferments in my brain.
Anyway these 2 lefties were talking. I know they were lefties because people on the right don't blame the jooooooos every time a Palestinian has a hangnail or some airhead college student gets flattened by a steamroller.
Anyway, the woman (I think it was a woman, sometimes it's hard to tell) says, "That Helen Thomas is so smart, she speaks truth to power and gets crucified...no pun intended."
Then the guy says, "I didn't get to hear the news for a few days cuz I was down in Arizona protesting the racist, fascist governor and her illegal law, then I was at Lou's house in Humboldt County helping him harvest his crop. What did she say?"
"Well," she says, "You have to understand nuance, which most rightwing nuts don't understand. She said the jooooooooos should leave Israel so the Palestinians can have their land back. I mean it's only those Bible-thumping idiots who believe that nonsense in the Bible. Well, even if the Romans did count them in the census but then they all left and went to Poland and Germany and the US. Besides I'm pretty sure their Bible mentions Palestine but they just want to ignore that."
"What did they do to her?"
"Who?"
"Helen Thomas!"
"Oh. They made her quit so Faux News can take her seat! Imagine giving her seat to those joooooooo-loving reich wing corporate whores!"
"Who made her quit?"
"Those Christian corporations! I'm pretty sure Poppy Bush got the CIA involved and Rove too! They forced her to say something the simple-minded couldn't understand."
Well, that's all I remember. Besides I was so disgusted I wanted to get away as fast as I could.
Cindie
Damned good, Cindie! Damned good!
You write better fiction than the DUmmies can write "fact"....
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Damned good, Cindie! Damned good!
You write better fiction than the DUmmies can write "fact"....
Cindie is coverin' for Frank while he takes care o' biz! Somebody has to take up the slack, huh Cin?
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I had complete respiratory failure and heart failure shortly after midnight last July 17th. I stayed in a coma for eight days. I had been without oxygen for over six minutes. Even if I made it I was suppose to be "brain damaged". Luckily, they had no way to tell. ha ha.
Then I had an abdominal aorta aneurysms raise its ugly head, I went through that surgery in January. Other than an autopsy, that's the most traumatic thing a body can endure. But here I am. I'm gonna be 56. I wasn't suppose to be 56. But prayer kept me here.
I'm gonna be 56! Praise the Lord!
A former neighbor had an aortic aneurysm about three months after I had moved a few miles. From what his widow told me a month later, he didn't have a chance.
You are one member here that, if you went to the Lord, I'd shed tears over. (There's others--AR, you're getting to that plateau.) But, I know that you'd be waiting for me once the Lord called me Home. However, since you're still with us, keep laying it to the DUmmies.
Praise the Lord!
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A former neighbor had an aortic aneurysm about three months after I had moved a few miles. From what his widow told me a month later, he didn't have a chance.
You are one member here that, if you went to the Lord, I'd shed tears over. (There's others--AR, you're getting to that plateau.) But, I know that you'd be waiting for me once the Lord called me Home. However, since you're still with us, keep laying it to the DUmmies.
Praise the Lord!
I cry about the chain of events. I would never have lived if I had not had the massive heart attack. I had a wonderful friend who died one morning, a Friday morning, because of an abdominal aneurysm. He was 52.
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A former neighbor had an aortic aneurysm about three months after I had moved a few miles. From what his widow told me a month later, he didn't have a chance.
You are one member here that, if you went to the Lord, I'd shed tears over. (There's others--AR, you're getting to that plateau.) But, I know that you'd be waiting for me once the Lord called me Home. However, since you're still with us, keep laying it to the DUmmies.
Praise the Lord!
Quite a compliment, sir, quite a compliment! I for one have no intention of goin' anywhere soon! With a little help from his friends, Undies will be with us for an extended length of time, too!
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Quite a compliment, sir, quite a compliment! I for one have no intention of goin' anywhere soon! With a little help from his friends, Undies will be with us for an extended length of time, too!
Well deserved, though. Of course, the Coach leads the list. Schade (wherever she is), and a few others.
I think that God Almighty has some people who need Undies' "unique perspective" on things, yet. (A lot of them!)
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And leave the spiky ball on a chain at home? I got it at the Medieval Times gift shop.
It's called a flail. :-)
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This birthday is especially special since I "died" last July. I am suppose to be a year's worth of worm food now, but instead, I have a birthday coming up.
I'm a realist and I'm not a fool. I know I probably won't live to see 60. If I live to 65 it will be because Jesus Christ Himself intervenes, so it is an important birthday to me. They seem to be dwindling away now.
First, congrats on your birthday. A special one indeed and enjoy it wholeheartedly
Secondly, you may outlive us all.... no one knows when your day will come but the Almighty God we pray to. So guessing an age that you may die is just silly...
I know what I speak of as I have dealt with my own mortality about a decade ago when like you, I guessed what age God would take me...and I was OH SO WRONG.