The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: thundley4 on May 25, 2010, 09:04:13 AM

Title: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: thundley4 on May 25, 2010, 09:04:13 AM
Quote
BanzaiBonnie   (1000+ posts)           Mon May-24-10 03:22 PM
Original message
message from the planet
   
Edited on Mon May-24-10 03:25 PM by BanzaiBonnie
I was awakened at about 4:15 am Saturday morning with words that needed to be written. These are not my words. These words do not come to me alone, but there are others receiving the same or a similar message. They are the words of the planet.

I am sending this to others I know. Repost or send to others as you feel is right.

The energy systems that were put in place to run this planetary body have been disrupted to a degree that drastic measures are now being moved into play. This is going to be a bumpy ride. This is a correction that is necessary to stabilize the system.


Disruptions have gone too far. A system dump may be necessary. This planet is a living breathing organism that has been abused. It is she who has kept you alive. It is she who was built for your comfort. The system dump is necessary to save what is left.
blah, blah, blah......
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8406519

Quote
wysimdnwyg   (1000+ posts)             Mon May-24-10 03:50 PM
Response to Original message
1. Shorter version...
   
"People of the Earth, listen to me. You understand that I, the Earth, am a self-regulating organism. What you don't seem to understand is that part of that whole 'self-regulation' stuff is to remove the cause of the problem. That would be you."

Alternately...

"Hey, morons! If you keep trying to kill me with greenhouse gas emissions, toxic waste dumping, coal ash and "spilled" oil, I'm going to have to beat you to the punch."

Quote
beam me up scottie   (1000+ posts)             Mon May-24-10 07:28 PM
Response to Original message
9. Why can't you guys do it? I mean you stopped NASA from nuking your secret base on the moon, right?
   
How hard is it to plug a few holes in the bottom of a pool?

Quote
Orrex   (1000+ posts)               Mon May-24-10 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
10. As the late George Carlin famously noted:
   
"The planet is fine. We're in a lot of trouble."

He was deriding the "save the planet" slogan that was so popular in the early 90s. He further suggested that we "ask the people of Pompeii if they think that the planet needs our help." If the planet wanted to get rid of us, it could do it with the equivalent of a mild shrug (which Carlin demonstrated along with a short of "shivering" sound).



Of course, while we're still here we're doing a great job of ****ing up huge swaths of the ecosystem, but maybe mass extinction is the basic purpose of humanity? I mean, can you name anything that we--as a species--are better at doing on a large scale?

Quote
Codeine   (1000+ posts)           Mon May-24-10 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
11. Second Planetary Transmission Received:
   
Transmission as follows:

Stop anthropomorphizing me already! I'm your standard Class M planet, a rock upon which some chemicals got really friggin' lucky and eventually spawned you lot. I have no intelligence, I am not a living organism, and I do not have cycles of in-breathing and out-breathing because I do not breath.

I am not a her, or for that matter a him. I am not your mother. I possess no wisdom. I am not a spirit. James Cameron has no special knowledge regarding me. I neither weep nor mourn, because I am a rock. I also do not bleed (You know, the whole "can't get blood from a stone" thing. HAHA! Planetary humor -- Mars loves that joke!)

That life has evolved on me does not indicate that I am somehow alive myself.

Also, homeopathy doesn't work, chiropractors are quacks, Season Two of The Wire was disappointing compared to the rest of the show, and please spay and neuter your pets.

PS: Deepak Chopra TOTALLY caused the oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico, that rat bastard!

Sent through My Blackberry Gaian Curve

End transmission.
:evillaugh:

Quote
SemiCharmedQuark   (1000+ posts)               Tue May-25-10 09:35 AM
Response to Reply #11
24. Dear Mother Earth: Why were you such an asshole to Dinosaurs?

Quote
Terra Alta   (678 posts)             Mon May-24-10 09:13 PM
Response to Original message
12. it's only a matter of time
   
before Yellowstone blows and destroys life as we know it on this planet. We need to stop destroying Earth before she decides to destroy us all.

Quote
SidDithers   (1000+ posts)             Mon May-24-10 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. If it's only a matter of time, why does it matter what we do?...nt
   
Sid

Quote
beam me up scottie   (1000+ posts)             Tue May-25-10 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #16
19. So how many of the crystal clutchers will volunteer to throw themselves into volcanoes?
   


Talk about reality teevee...

Quote
Confusious (1000+ posts)             Tue May-25-10 09:13 AM
Response to Reply #12
21. We could be really nice
   

It's still going to blow. The universe doesn't give two shits either way.

Quote
BlancheSplanchnik   (1000+ posts)             Mon May-24-10 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
18. But just try talking about limiting our birthrate..
   
and people go ballistic.

humans are high ****ing maintenance. The sheer volume of *us* is too much. We have the power to reason, but we won't address our *******ed fertility. Oh you're horrible for mentioning it! That's taboo!!

I've said it for years, we need to reduce our numbers. Having more than one kid is about selfish refusal to see the impact of our rising numbers. Guaranteed to get me flamed. And if I firmly hold my ground, maybe even get me TS'ed like it did years ago here.

funny, it's important to avoid offensive truths.

This message is too heartbreaking, especially to those of us who have been well aware and heartbroken over the damage we cause.

We don't take the over population complaints seriously, because those complaining are still alive, and aren't practicing what they preach.

Quote
Confusious (1000+ posts)             Tue May-25-10 09:18 AM
Response to Original message
23. Time to adjust the rabbit ears
   
Edited on Tue May-25-10 09:18 AM by Confusious

Or the medication.

This thread shows that some of the DUmmies actually have a sense of humor, or the Freeper trolls are feeling brave.  :lmao:
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 25, 2010, 09:22:08 AM
So is Mother Earth having an abortion or is it just menopausal hot flashes?
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: Mike220 on May 25, 2010, 09:31:15 AM
Quote
beam me up scottie   (1000+ posts)             Tue May-25-10 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #16
19. So how many of the crystal clutchers will volunteer to throw themselves into volcanoes?
   


Talk about reality teevee...

Hell, I'd pay to see it...  :-)

Quote
BlancheSplanchnik   (1000+ posts)             Mon May-24-10 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
18. But just try talking about limiting our birthrate..
   
and people go ballistic.

humans are high ****ing maintenance. The sheer volume of *us* is too much. We have the power to reason, but we won't address our *******ed fertility. Oh you're horrible for mentioning it! That's taboo!!

I've said it for years, we need to reduce our numbers. Having more than one kid is about selfish refusal to see the impact of our rising numbers. Guaranteed to get me flamed. And if I firmly hold my ground, maybe even get me TS'ed like it did years ago here.

funny, it's important to avoid offensive truths.

This message is too heartbreaking, especially to those of us who have been well aware and heartbroken over the damage we cause.

Well then kill yourself. I maintain that if every DUmmy and those that think like them offed themselves, the world would become a better place.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: diesel driver on May 25, 2010, 09:54:15 AM
I say DUmmies need to take the point and lead by example with this "overpopulation" problem....

Go ahead and kill yourselves....   :lmao:
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on May 25, 2010, 10:08:39 AM
Quote
SidDithers   (1000+ posts)             Mon May-24-10 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. If it's only a matter of time, why does it matter what we do?...nt
   
Sid

ZING!!!

 :rotf:
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: The Village Idiot on May 25, 2010, 10:10:01 AM
The Voluntary Human Population Reduction Plan = kill yourselves first

Of course they don't practice what they preach. They are special, they are the elite, the annointed who should be allowed to stick around and "manage" the depopulation.

Of course some will ask (no really it happened before) who will take care of the animals if we are all gone??

lol!!
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: miskie on May 25, 2010, 10:16:46 AM
I'm surprised nobody brought up that awful film, The Happening as example of whats to come - when the plants rise up and poison mankind...  :shortbus:
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: crockspot on May 25, 2010, 10:22:03 AM
Quote
beam me up scottie   (1000+ posts)             Tue May-25-10 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #16
19. So how many of the crystal clutchers will volunteer to throw themselves into volcanoes?
   


Talk about reality teevee...

Oooh, that gives me a great idea, either for a season of Survivor, or an episode of Wife Swap: Crystal Clutchers vs. Gun and Bible Clingers.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: Lord Undies on May 25, 2010, 10:32:51 AM
ZING!!!

 :rotf:


I thought the same thing before reading Little Goon SidDithers' comment.  What could it possible matter?

Hey, Little Goons!  Listen up!  Important information to follow:

EARTH IS AN INANIMATE OBJECT. 
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: The Village Idiot on May 25, 2010, 11:02:40 AM
I'm surprised nobody brought up that awful film, The Happening as example of whats to come - when the plants rise up and poison mankind...  :shortbus:

DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS??
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: Lord Undies on May 25, 2010, 11:05:00 AM
DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS??

I have bushes along my walkway I call my Triffids.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: The Village Idiot on May 25, 2010, 11:05:43 AM
lol
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: AllosaursRus on May 25, 2010, 11:11:55 AM
Quote
Well then kill yourself. I maintain that if every DUmmy and those that think like them offed themselves, the world would become a better place.

Talk about "Heaven on Earth"!!!!!
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: jinxmchue on May 25, 2010, 11:14:10 AM
Quote
I was awakened at about 4:15 am Saturday morning with words that needed to be written. These are not my words. These words do not come to me alone, but there are others receiving the same or a similar message. They are the words of the planet.

But believing that God inspired dozens of men from many diverse backgrounds and cultures over hundreds of years to write 66 books that all completely agree with each other (a feat that cannot be recreated today with just three writers from the same country!) is just silly.   :whatever:
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: BlueStateSaint on May 25, 2010, 11:38:21 AM
A small rewrite:

Quote
I was awakened at about 4:15 am Saturday morning with words that needed to be written. These are not my words.

They just happened to come out of my mouth, at the same time as the alcohol-induced vomiting was going on.  At least, that's what I think I said, but these small toliet bowls nowadays tend to have lousy acoustical properties (don't ask me where that came from!).
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: JohnnyReb on May 25, 2010, 12:09:11 PM
Like fleas on a monkey's butt, DUmmie thoughts are profuse and stink.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on May 25, 2010, 12:10:53 PM
Lead from the front you asswipes.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: Wineslob on May 25, 2010, 12:12:16 PM
Wipe from the front to the back you asswipes.







FIXED
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: delilahmused on May 25, 2010, 12:35:28 PM
Last night I had a dream too...Gaia (who looked a lot like the she-bitch in Army of Darkness) said she was really, really wasted...Captain Planet had a harvest party and the Maui Wowy and moonshine pretty much killed off her brain cells for about 24 business hours. But as far as she could remember, she let loose a gusher because she went home with Spongebob Squarepants and boy that sponge knows how to drill! Either that or she got real pissed at the damn sea turtles crapping in her swimming pool.

Cindie
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: dutch508 on May 25, 2010, 01:27:09 PM
I love the talk the leftists have about limiting the population. Whenever they do they never want to include the poor, the uneducated, those on welfare, drug addiction, in prison, unemployed or unemployable, birth defects, incurable deseases, etc etc etc...


Guess that leaves the healthy productive members of society who need to be culled.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: AllosaursRus on May 25, 2010, 01:32:55 PM
I love the talk the leftists have about limiting the population. Whenever they do they never want to include the poor, the uneducated, those on welfare, drug addiction, in prison, unemployed or unemployable, birth defects, incurable deseases, etc etc etc...


Guess that leaves the healthy productive members of society who need to be culled.

Boy, ain't that the truth! I see where terrorist are to be spared in their Shangri La, too!

"Off with their heads!" Spoken like a true DUmbass! After all sha admits to being "AA"! At first I thought she was just one "A" short of goin' to those damn meetin's!
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: dutch508 on May 25, 2010, 01:50:28 PM
Boy, ain't that the truth! I see where terrorist are to be spared in their Shangri La, too!

"Off with their heads!" Spoken like a true DUmbass! After all sha admits to being "AA"! At first I thought she was just one "A" short of goin' to those damn meetin's!

Far be it from me to be in charge of the world. My world would be pretty grimdark place. Oh sure, there'd be boobiez and beer for the masses, but lots of jack-booted thugs to walk the streets as well. No papers? Welcome to Project Solient Green...

Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: diesel driver on May 25, 2010, 02:55:00 PM
I love the talk the leftists have about limiting the population. Whenever they do they never want to include the poor, the uneducated, those on welfare, drug addiction, in prison, unemployed or unemployable, birth defects, incurable deseases, etc etc etc...


Guess that leaves the healthy productive members of society who need to be culled.

Yep, they have no need for us gun-totin', mouth-breathin', knuckle-draggin', beer-swillin', chain-smokin', hard-workin', fun-lovin', NASCAR watchin' Rednecks....

But that's alright.  We have no need for liberals, either, 'ceptin' fer target practice....
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: Randy on May 25, 2010, 04:56:32 PM
Yep, they have no need for us gun-totin', mouth-breathin', knuckle-draggin', beer-swillin', chain-smokin', hard-workin', fun-lovin', NASCAR watchin' Rednecks....

But that's alright.  We have no need for liberals, either, 'ceptin' fer target practice....

They ain't even good for that, they move to slow....

 :-)

They do have a brilliant future as fertilizer and hog slop though.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: thundley4 on May 25, 2010, 05:16:41 PM
They ain't even good for that, they move to slow....

 :-)

They do have a brilliant future as fertilizer and hog slop though.

I was going to comment about that being cannibalism, but that would be insulting to hogs.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: BlueStateSaint on May 25, 2010, 06:00:47 PM
I was going to comment about that being cannibalism, but that would be insulting to hogs.

Not only that, but all of the Environmental Impact Statements you'd have to fill out, to use them as fertilizer . . .  :fuelfire:
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: diesel driver on May 26, 2010, 01:34:10 AM
They ain't even good for that, they move to slow....

 :-)

They do have a brilliant future as fertilizer and hog slop though.

I'm not so sure about that....

There are some things a hog just won't do....

And as for fertilizer, that would make "salting the earth" seem like dusting crops....
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: MrsSmith on May 26, 2010, 05:54:14 AM
I love the talk the leftists have about limiting the population. Whenever they do they never want to include the poor, the uneducated, those on welfare, drug addiction, in prison, unemployed or unemployable, birth defects, incurable deseases, etc etc etc...


Guess that leaves the healthy productive members of society who need to be culled.
For now, they'll settle for most of the unborn (much better to kill them to appease their "mother" than to be responsible and practice self-control with sex)...and those that are too old to be useful.  Therefore Obamacare.
Title: Re: Mother Earth is Angry !!!!111 !!!
Post by: MrsSmith on May 26, 2010, 05:56:42 AM
But believing that God inspired dozens of men from many diverse backgrounds and cultures over hundreds of years to write 66 books that all completely agree with each other (a feat that cannot be recreated today with just three writers from the same country!) is just silly.   :whatever:
They'd have to go to the effort of reading it...and not just the blurbs on the lie-sites...before they could comprehend this.  That's way too much time away from the bong.  Besides, Mother Earth might not like it.   ::) ::)