The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on March 31, 2010, 06:18:41 PM
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Awful, simply awful. Responding to our criticism of her constant use of one-word lines, the CalPig goes overboard, with big, awkward, ugly wads of unrelated words:
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Mar-31-10 01:34 AM
Original message
The poem I didn't read tonight at the open mic...
Since I didn't go...I hurt my wrist last night and have felt weird all day...Yeah, I went to the doctor and am better now...
I'll read this next week...
Moonrise
Watched the moon come up tonight, high in the eastern sky she looked as though someone were painting her
as though the sky were
canvas
I walked and felt moonrise all round me
who is the artist and where does he work but in my mind and yours
do we see it together or does the canvas separate us from that great reality of
moonrise
soon she will be
full...
© 2010 MLC
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9314432
As always, you may recite this CalPig poem for the enjoyment of friends and family, as I plan to do, but you may not accept their offers of payment.
I believe DUmmy Steerpike may be a budding poet in the CalPiggian style:
Steerpike (1000+ posts) Wed Mar-31-10 07:28 AM
Response to Original message
1. Good Morning Peg
Nice job! The mind wraps around the poem like a snake on a hot summer day squeezing my heart softly hissing like a flat tire in a hot southern wind.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Mar-31-10 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. My dear Steerpike...
Thank you for rescuing me from complete ignominy!
And your sentence is a poem in its own right...
Yep, she likes it.
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Wed Mar-31-10 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. You are too kind...
I'm trying out a new way of writing, and I'm not very polished at it yet...
It would be interesting to know what "new way" she's talking about. It seems as awful as always.
I'm tempted to borrow use of the term "wordburger", but this "poem", embarrassingly bad as it is, falls far short of the worst she can do.
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What will she soon be full of?
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Steerpike (1000+ posts) Wed Mar-31-10 07:28 AM
Response to Original message
1. Good Morning Peg
Nice job! The mind wraps around the poem like a snake on a hot summer day squeezing my heart softly hissing like a flat tire in a hot southern wind.
Shouldn't the above be written as follow...
The mind
wraps around the poem
like a snake
on a hot summer day
squeezing my heart softly
hissing
like a flat tire
in a hot southern wind.
hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss.
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That sucked so hard I thought the windows in my house would shatter.
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Just stopping by to post the required CalPeg poetry warning.... oh, and to :puke:
Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad. It's awful. It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it. It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits. It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.
Her poetry needs immolation. She needs to have all writing implements and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes. Maybe medication will help.
--TLB
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I feel
kind of
full
too
Be right
back
...
Ah that's
much better.
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What's most annoying is how she starts every post with "my dear so and so". WTF is up with that?
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It just has to be trying to out stupid itself with each of these inane things.
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I'm telling you, she can do much, much worse. In fact, she has, on many occasions. Some of her lines can stick in your mind like a cyst, or an abcess. For an example, here's the "money shot" from one of her efforts. It's too disgusting to quote any more:
He empties the aching seed
Need I say more? At least one of the DUmbasses appreciates her as much as we do:
WCGreen (1000+ posts) Wed Nov-21-07 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
22. Penicillin will take care of that Aching seed....
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What will she soon be full of?
I think CPeg is mooning people again.
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IT'S A MAN BABY! :blah:
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Of course, Steerpike is blowing smoke up her ass. She doesn't see it, though.
Outstanding poetic efforts by ChuckJ and dandi.
This poem reminded me of some lyrics I hate....from Incubus' "Wish you were here."
"I lay my head onto the sand
The sky resembles a back lit canopy
With holes punched in it."
Dumb, just dumb.
I cannot offer comment on the aching seed, as it's the first time I've seen it and I am thus speechless.
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dug a hole
in the snow
took a poop
steam wafting up
covered it over
walked away
need more TP
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Meter, Peg. It's not just 39.37 inches.
:mental:
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Nice job! The mind wraps around the poem like a snake on a hot summer day squeezing my heart softly hissing like a flat tire in a hot southern wind.
You realize snakes squeeze to kill, right?
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How 'bout another couple lines from the CalPig? Remember, this is copyrighted material, so don't even think about charging admission when you recite it:
He strokes, and licks, and drinks me.
And then he enters
I feel almost no compassion for any DUmp family, but I have to admit to some twinges of sympathy for the unfortunate Mr. CalPig.
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How 'bout another couple lines from the CalPig? Remember, this is copyrighted material, so don't even think about charging admission when you recite it:
I feel almost no compassion for any DUmp family, but I have to admit to some twinges of sympathy for the unfortunate Mr. CalPig.
Oh sweet petunia, no! Why did I have to read that?
Curse you, GOBUCKS!
*rolls into a fetal position*
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I'm torn in my reaction. To the poetry, it's this:
:puke: :puke: :puke:
GOBUCKS, here's the one for you:
:bird: :bird: :bird: :bird: :bird:
But, it's only for posting that drivel. Where's TLB's review, anyway?
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Oh Dear God in Heaven.
Gobucks, you'd better head for the hills.
I have no sypathy for the Mr. Assuming nobody held a gun to his head, he did marry her. That's his problem. But wait. She actually posted this?
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I'm torn in my reaction. To the poetry, it's this:
:puke: :puke: :puke:
GOBUCKS, here's the one for you:
:bird: :bird: :bird: :bird: :bird:
But, it's only for posting that drivel. Where's TLB's review, anyway?
Up thread, first page, thanks to lastparker.
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Oh Dear God in Heaven.
Gobucks, you'd better head for the hills.
I have no sypathy for the Mr. Assuming nobody held a gun to his head, he did marry her. That's his problem. But wait. She actually posted this?
Indeed she did. I won't copy and paste it, because CalPig in the raw is way too much for this forum. You've been warned - follow the link at your own peril:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=216x4738
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Indeed she did. I won't copy and paste it, because CalPig in the raw is way too much for this forum. You've been warned - follow the link at your own peril:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=216x4738
I will give you one of these:
:hi5:
For having the discresion to give the warning. :tongue:
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I donned the HAZMAT suit and went over. Someone we know posted her own poem in response.
Rising Phoenix (1000+ posts) Wed Nov-14-07 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #14
15.
one for you...
The summertime has a different feel.
Hot and sensuous
Ecstasy radiates off
Sweaty skin
Kissed by gentle breeze and
Perfumed by magnolias
Raining petals over
Laughing eyes
That die in the
Face of love
Have you ever seen such a juvenile collection of cliches? This looks like it might be written by a 12-year old girl on a notepad decorated with unicorns and ponies, in purple ink with hearts used to dot the i's.
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Oh sweet petunia, no! Why did I have to read that?
Curse you, GOBUCKS!
*rolls into a fetal position*
Holy cow.
(http://kenth.razorsedgeau.net/unseen.jpg)
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Where's the drip, drip, drip, drip part of the secks poem? Surely that's how it ends.
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I was just recovering from greenbriar's "We're having secks tonight" thread. :sad1:
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Where's the drip, drip, drip, drip part of the secks poem? Surely that's how it ends.
No, it doesn't end with the "drip, drip, drip" part--it merely shifts venues to its' OB/GYN . . .