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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on March 23, 2010, 11:17:18 PM

Title: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: GOBUCKS on March 23, 2010, 11:17:18 PM
I really feel that reading these CalPig "poems" should qualify for that Discovery Channel show "Dirty Jobs". This one is mercifully short, but nasty nonetheless:
Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Mon Mar-22-10 05:37 PM
Original message
My poem for Spring: 
 Shining Darkness


the nipple
shines

as the clothing
peels
away

a flower
budding open
in
spring


© 2010 MLC
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=216&topic_id=6098
Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty.

I just counted 'em. Fourteen. Fourteen words. They were just minding their own business, making a living as part of a vocabulary, and then found themselves chosen, apparently at random, for this awful post by the CalPig. How can anyone make such horrid use of fourteen perfectly good, innocent words?
I couldn't copy DU Adbot. It was a flash animation for Duluth Trading Company's "Buck Naked Underwear".
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: Ree on March 23, 2010, 11:39:01 PM
Now I know she has that old timers disease...
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: dutch508 on March 23, 2010, 11:47:57 PM
What the **** was that?  ::)

It completely put me off watching Chinese porn.   :banghead:

I am going to now go out and punch a kitten, right in the face.  :hammer:
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: dandi on March 24, 2010, 01:08:14 AM
*shudder*
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: crockspot on March 24, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
First roses for Bella Pelosi, now CalPig's nipples in a sheer nightie....

I think I'll kill myself now.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: Chris on March 24, 2010, 03:47:51 AM
Mmmmm... nipples the size of silver dollars.  Yeah, baby.

 :rotf:
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: JohnnyReb on March 24, 2010, 05:46:50 AM
You know, with poetry that bad, she may be in line for a government grant.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: Karin on March 24, 2010, 07:49:22 AM
Hanging down to her knees. 

Oh My Good Lord In Heaven. 
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: Mike220 on March 24, 2010, 10:01:46 AM
You know, with poetry that bad, she may be in line for a government grant.

Which she'll "forget" to pay taxes on, setting her up for a high level government job.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: lastparker on March 24, 2010, 11:38:32 AM
You know, with poetry that bad, she may be in line for a government grant.

If there's ever a U.S. Department of Fine Arts, CalPeg is assured a civil service position therein.

ETA:  The disclaimer, a la TLB:

Quote
Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad.  It's awful.  It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it.  It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits.  It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.

Her poetry needs immolation.  She needs to have all writing implements and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes.  Maybe medication will help.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: The Village Idiot on March 24, 2010, 11:44:45 AM
Stomach pain
intestinal blockage
need to poop

much more bearable
than CalPig poetry
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: JohnnyReb on March 24, 2010, 12:02:41 PM
Stomach pain
intestinal blockage
need to poop

much more bearable
than CalPig poetry

Here

I stand

sun shining

sweat pouring

stink rising

Like Calpig

poetry stinking

Stink-stink-stink-stink
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: Mike220 on March 24, 2010, 12:05:13 PM
My poetic response:

Quote
That sucked.
More than Monica did Bill.
I think I just upchucked.

The end.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: delilahmused on March 24, 2010, 12:08:27 PM
I'm thinking a guy could take a handful of Viagra and still not get it up after seeing her tits.

Cindie
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: DefiantSix on March 24, 2010, 12:18:58 PM
I'm thinking a guy could take a handful of Viagra and still not get it up after seeing her tits.

Cindie

Those are tits?!?!?!  :puke:
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: GOBUCKS on March 24, 2010, 12:37:08 PM
the nipple
shines

red nipple
gleaming

blink, blink, blink, blink.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: DefiantSix on March 24, 2010, 12:40:20 PM
the nipple
shines

red nipple
gleaming

blink, blink, blink, blink.

Damn you man!!!  You're gonna burn through all the Mind Bleach(TM) I have left, and the next truck doesn't come until Monday.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: lastparker on March 24, 2010, 01:04:51 PM
I have some you can borrow.

(http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h141/phobucketforcu/mental_bleach.png) (http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h141/phobucketforcu/?action=view&current=mental_bleach.png)
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: njpines on March 24, 2010, 01:19:09 PM
Hanging down to her knees. 


horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible . . . :chairshot:
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: Gwitness on March 24, 2010, 10:12:11 PM
*insert puking smiley here*
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: diesel driver on March 25, 2010, 01:29:14 AM
Those are tits?!?!?!  :puke:

May have been at one time....

If they hang any lower, she'd step on them....
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: kenth on March 25, 2010, 01:54:18 AM
May have been at one time....

If they hang any lower, she'd step on them....

Doesn't have to wear a bra, just cargo pants?
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: miskie on March 25, 2010, 06:24:54 AM
oh that explains it -- they hang so low and are so wrinkly now that they are frequently mistaken for testicles.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: kenth on March 25, 2010, 06:41:31 AM
oh that explains it -- they hang so low and are so wrinkly now that they are frequently mistaken for testicles.

 :lmao:
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: JohnnyReb on March 25, 2010, 06:49:16 AM
oh that explains it -- they hang so low and are so wrinkly now that they are frequently mistaken for testicles.

TESTICLES!...well, she better get those 2 moles looked at.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on March 25, 2010, 09:20:35 AM
Shining nipple?  She must have put her tinfoil cap on the wrong lump of tissue today.
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: littlelamb on March 25, 2010, 09:28:11 AM
Yuck now share that mind bleach I have been out for a few days
Title: Re: DUmmy CalPig Manages A Tiny One - Seeks Out Jamie Lee Curtis For Yogurt
Post by: BlueStateSaint on March 25, 2010, 09:51:44 AM
Yuck now share that mind bleach I have been out for a few days

I need it, too, but I'll do this for a while . . .

 :puke: :puke: :puke: