The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: AllosaursRus on February 26, 2010, 12:22:35 AM
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Let me see if I got this right...
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM
AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND
YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL
PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:
1 - A JOB,
2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,
3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
4 - WELFARE,
5 - FOOD STAMPS,
6 - CREDIT CARDS
7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
8 - FREE EDUCATION,
9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,
10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
11 - MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
12 - AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU
DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT
* What's wrong with this picture!
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION...
ETA: .......if it looks like I'm yellin', it's 'cause I AM!!!!!!!!!!111111
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You forgot one:
If you are caught crossing Mexico's southern border illegally, you will be:
- Arrested, robbed of all valuables on your person and beaten by the Policia; if you are female, the odds are good that you will be raped by them as well;
- Jailed, charged with being an illegal alien and tried within 48 hours of charges; if you want to defend yourself in court, you must hire a Mexican defense attorney, somehow;
- Statistically, the charge of being an illegal alien in Mexico has a 98% conviction rate; odds are you will be convicted and sentenced to 5-15 years hard labor - usually mining hazardious materials in conditions and with tools that would cause wholesale coronary infarction among OSHA weenies, consuming food and water that would make a billy goat puke, and being beaten regularly by both your guards and fellow inmates. Oh, and if you're female, rape by the guards is still a regular part of the daily business of staying alive.
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You forgot one:
If you are caught crossing Mexico's southern border illegally, you will be:
- Arrested, robbed of all valuables on your person and beaten by the Policia; if you are female, the odds are good that you will be raped by them as well;
- Jailed, charged with being an illegal alien and tried within 48 hours of charges; if you want to defend yourself in court, you must hire a Mexican defense attorney, somehow;
- Statistically, the charge of being an illegal alien in Mexico has a 98% conviction rate; odds are you will be convicted and sentenced to 5-15 years hard labor - usually mining hazardious materials in conditions and with tools that would cause wholesale coronary infarction among OSHA weenies, consuming food and water that would make a billy goat puke, and being beaten regularly by both your guards and fellow inmates. Oh, and if you're female, rape by the guards is still a regular part of the daily business of staying alive.
I stand corrected, Sir!
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:fuelfire: Well no wonder why so many want to come here