The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on February 23, 2010, 12:24:14 AM
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Not sure how it got missed, but I don't recall seeing it. Here's a Valentine for everyone from the CalPig, in her unique style:
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Sun Feb-14-10 04:49 PM
Original message
My Valentine's Day Poem
Dessert
After dinner
the TV
glows blue
against the
walls
around the
corner
from your
kiss
the hunger is
ending
with
dessert
© 2010 MLC
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9255366
Blue TV light, glow, glow, glow, glow. Please note the copyright. As always, feel free to read and recite for your personal enjoyment, and that of your friends and family, but charging admission to hear this poem being read is strictly prohibited. And you will be arrested.
I would like to believe that this faceless, anonymous DUmmy is being sarcastic, but he's a DUmmy:
raptor_rider (504 posts) Sun Feb-14-10 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
3. Saucy Miss Peggy
Saucy... You are good with words.
Parche (1000+ posts) Sun Feb-14-10 06:21 PM
Response to Original message
9. My Dear CaliforniaPeggy
as always good!!
I sense a little kinkyness in this....??
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Sun Feb-14-10 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. My dear Parche!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Kinky? Moi? Nah.......maybe a little erotic...
I hate to use the term, it's so internetty, but I have to: Ewwww!
In case you did not know, the CalPig has great talent:
Terra Alta (578 posts) Sun Feb-14-10 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
18. you have such great talent
thanks for sharing, and hope you are having a wonderful Valentine's Day!
av8rdave (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-15-10 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
28. Nice!
Amazing how just a few words can build an entire stage set in my mind.
Thanks!
CaliforniaPeggy (1000+ posts) Mon Feb-15-10 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. My dear av8rdave!
Some poems just unreel in my mind, complete from the first word...
This was one of those.
Writing them is a complete mystery...
I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks!
It just slid right out onto the paper.
Tangerine LaBamba (1000+ posts)
Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad. It's awful. It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it. It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits. It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.
Her poetry needs immolation. She needs to have all writing impletments and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes. Maybe medication will help.
Enough said.
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OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. :-)
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(http://board.koffer.ee/files/what_has_been_seen_cannot_be_unseen_695.jpg)
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It would be completely funny if it wasn`t for the fact that DUmmies far and wide truly consider sophomoric nonsense like that are and their enlightened contribution to society.
This drivel is what they think entitles them to complete public care and support.
After reading
this so called
poem
The stomach rumbles
around the
corner
safely away
the pain is
ending
with a
huge crap.
My version.
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My Valentine's Day Poem
Dessert
After dinner
the TV
glows blue
against the
walls
around the
corner
from your
kiss
the hunger is
ending
with
dessert
WTF was that? Let me guess..Peggy still sees herself as a "beat"......
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TLB was right on the money
Rest In Peace
CalPiggy must be stopped before
any more kittens are harmed
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And now for something completely different, a girl wearing muskrats over her eyes:
See it here (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8324994)
4th post down is a special surprise.
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And now for something completely different, a girl wearing muskrats over her eyes:
See it here (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8324994)
4th post down is a special surprise.
That picture of her may be evidence of her suffering from some form of retardation. She has a note with her name on it pinned to her shirt. :lmao:
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What an absolutely boring poem :thatsright: Those who are claiming that it is "kinky" and "erotic" have obviously never any poetry that is actually erotic, because if that gets you worked up, I'm concerned about you.
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Plop Plop
Fizz fizz
O whatta
wiz she iz
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I make a vow to myself
No more Cal Peg verse.
The snow retreats from the field.
--a Splashdown Haiku
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Peggy, "Meter" is not just something that has to do with your utility bills.
Somewhere, puppies died because that poem was so horrible.
:banghead:
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I make a vow to myself
No more Cal Peg verse.
The snow retreats from the field.
--a Splashdown Haiku
See, now, that's good stuff right there. The whole "snow retreats from the field" part gives it a nice poetic flair. You ask, "What does that mean?" and then ponder the question for a while.
Calpig's offering came straight from the back end of a male bovine. I mean, I seriously want to reach through the computer screen and smack her back for that.
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I make a vow to myself
No more Cal Peg verse.
The snow retreats from the field.
--a Splashdown Haiku
To insure I have no red
lights blinking for me
I made the same vow as well
~Haiku by Tots.
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Fun haikus, my friends,
But the accepted format
is five, seven, five.
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Fun haikus, my friends,
But the accepted format
is five, seven, five.
:2muchgay:
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crap. Why did I think it was 7-5-7?
Hmm.
California Peg--
I've seen better poetry
On a bathroom wall.
Sorry!
There once was a "poet" named Pegs.
Whose poetry stank like a rotten eggs.
I try to be gallant
But she has less talent
Than a dancer with two wooden legs.
--Maybe a limerick would be more my milieu
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:2muchgay:
Everybody's a critic!
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Dutch doesn't like Haikus. Back when we had bitch-slaps, I believe it was him who gave me a bunch for following along in a Haiku thread.
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Dutch doesn't like Haikus. Back when we had bitch-slaps, I believe it was him who gave me a bunch for following along in a Haiku thread.
(virtual bitchslap) :hi5:
I feel that if you are gonna do Haikus you need to do them in Japanese...other wise it's just teh ghey.
Why don't you try sonnets?
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Dutch doesn't like Haikus. Back when we had bitch-slaps, I believe it was him who gave me a bunch for following along in a Haiku thread.
Agree. Haikus suck big time, and their perpetrators deserve unrecs, er, bitch slaps, even if they write in Japanese.
The only thing going for them is that "Red lights, blink, blink, blink, blink" will not fit in haiku meter. You would have to change the number of blinks, which would ruin the whole poetic experience.
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(virtual bitchslap) :hi5:
I feel that if you are gonna do Haikus you need to do them in Japanese...other wise it's just teh ghey.
Why don't you try sonnets?
I'm very impressed by anybody who can write a good sonnet.
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Fun haikus, my friends,
But the accepted format
is five, seven, five.
Oh well....bugger.
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:2muchgay:
...Sez the site expert on gayness.
:tongue:
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The sound of a CalPig poem reminds me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine.
.
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...Sez the site expert on gayness.
:tongue:
I know teh ghey when I seez it!
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The thought of CalPig as dessert is enough to make me want throw up a hairball.
Cindie
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This was a pretty big group of DUmmies fawning over CalPig's horrid poetry, but there was nary a word from our Top DUmmy of 2009. Special needs Pam NEVER misses a chance to gush over the CalPig, the only "name" DUmmy who ever comments on a Pammie thread these days. Two weeks since Grandma Bonnie checked out, with not a single word from Mrs. Dawson in all that time. I hope Mark didn't get drunk and pop her with the Glock.
It's getting very worrisome. Pam has disappeared, the Landlocked Cetacean out there in Las Vegas has disappeared, bobbo the hobo has disappeared, and we hardly hear a peep out of UGP. Before all that, DUmmy mythsaje dropped off the face of the earth, and that Walmart DUmmy was tombstoned. Right now, poor, stupid Beth is the highest ranking DUmmy with any activity at all, and her productivity has suffered greatly since she got her latest batch of medication. Has there been a mutation of the H1N1 virus that makes it deadly to morons? Warpy, ThomWV, and TwixVoy are way too stupid to carry the entire load of the DUmp.
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This was a pretty big group of DUmmies fawning over CalPig's horrid poetry, but there was nary a word from our Top DUmmy of 2009. Special needs Pam NEVER misses a chance to gush over the CalPig, the only "name" DUmmy who ever comments on a Pammie thread these days. Two weeks since Grandma Bonnie checked out, with not a single word from Mrs. Dawson in all that time. I hope Mark didn't get drunk and pop her with the Glock.
It's getting very worrisome. Pam has disappeared, the Landlocked Cetacean out there in Las Vegas has disappeared, bobbo the hobo has disappeared, and we hardly hear a peep out of UGP. Before all that, DUmmy mythsaje dropped off the face of the earth, and that Walmart DUmmy was tombstoned. Right now, poor, stupid Beth is the highest ranking DUmmy with any activity at all, and her productivity has suffered greatly since she got her latest batch of medication. Has there been a mutation of the H1N1 virus that makes it deadly to morons? Warpy, ThomWV, and TwixVoy are way too stupid to carry the entire load of the DUmp.
I was wondering the same thing. where did they go???
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I was wondering the same thing. where did they go???
we do not alk-tay about the issapiered-day ick-up-pay lan-pay...
umbass-day.
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Thank goodness the ever-vigilant bureaucrats of the United Nations are on the job:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Convention_for_the_Protection_of_All_Persons_from_Enforced_Disappearance
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we do not alk-tay about the issapiered-day ick-up-pay lan-pay...
umbass-day.
ilco-way.
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I'm very impressed by anybody who can write a good sonnet.
Challenge To Me From Celtic Rose Presents
I'll Write These Words Using Iambic Time.
To Write Sonnets Complete- As Shakespeare Meant
Impress The Lass I Shall With Ancient Rhyme.
Often My Verse Comes Through In Haiku Jive
Simple Words That Evoke Nature's Presence
In Syllables Of Five, Seven Then Five-
Without A Rhyme To Complete The Sentence.
So Now To This Final Stanza I Bring
My Closing Thoughts On Writing A Sonnet.
Some Words So Bouncy That They Almost Sing
You're Counting All The Syllables I Bet. :tongue:
Complete These Words To Celtic Rose The Fair,
I'll End This Rhyme with Perfect Matching Pair.
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(http://board.koffer.ee/files/what_has_been_seen_cannot_be_unseen_695.jpg)
Ow, that made my chest hurt when I laughed. Damn you!
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In past years, for the most part, all of our DUmmy of the year recipient hasn't made it through the following year without getting TS'd. It seems that this year is an exception. Mrs. Dawson, showing why she was a worthy winner, is in a self imposed TS.
In the hopes of carrying on this time honored tradition, what say Y'all that next year we elect CPeg as the winner? She can do the world a favor and OD on pizza.
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Ow, that made my chest hurt when I laughed. Damn you!
I totally stole that Image
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After dinner
I am
full.
wait, wait, wait, wait
an hour
maybe
longer
plop, plop, plop, plop
now
I
have room
for
dessert.
/liberal skank mode off
Cindie
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now
I
have room
for
dessert.
:lmao:
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After dinner
I am
full.
wait, wait, wait, wait
an hour
maybe
longer
plop, plop, plop, plop
now
I
have room
for
dessert.
/liberal skank mode off
Cindie
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Now I might need to call blink, blink, blink, blink!
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A DUmmie's
head
I thwack it
Thump thump thump thump
It thumps
like a ripe
melon
So full
of juice
and bullshit
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A DUmmie's
head
I thwack it
Thump thump thump thump
It thumps
like a ripe
melon
So full
of juice
and bullshit
wow.
Onomatopoeia. Alliteration. Assonance.
similes, metaphors. This has it all!
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It's getting very worrisome. Pam has disappeared, the Landlocked Cetacean out there in Las Vegas has disappeared, bobbo the hobo has disappeared, and we hardly hear a peep out of UGP. Before all that, DUmmy mythsaje dropped off the face of the earth, and that Walmart DUmmy was tombstoned. Right now, poor, stupid Beth is the highest ranking DUmmy with any activity at all, and her productivity has suffered greatly since she got her latest batch of medication. Has there been a mutation of the H1N1 virus that makes it deadly to morons? Warpy, ThomWV, and TwixVoy are way too stupid to carry the entire load of the DUmp.
Yeah, I'm really worried.
I just checked for the gigantic primitive in his new digs, and no show.
Members over there are asking too.
Has anyone happened to see any obituaries in the Last Vegas newspapers where it's mentioned burial was in a piano case?
Damn. I'm worried.
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Maybe they ran off together. Or at least lumbered away at a slow pace.
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"Waits", "plops", and "thumps" do not convey the poetic inspiration of "blinks". "Blink, blink, blink, blink" is simple genius. Or maybe not. Okay, not.
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"Waits", "plops", and "thumps" do not convey the poetic inspiration of "blinks". "Blink, blink, blink, blink" is simple genius. Or maybe not. Okay, not.
But it is catchy. :-)
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Yeah, I'm really worried.
I just checked for the gigantic primitive in his new digs, and no show.
Members over there are asking too.
Has anyone happened to see any obituaries in the Last Vegas newspapers where it's mentioned burial was in a piano case?
Damn. I'm worried.
Too hopelessly optimistic to think he has taken more of the advice here to heart and has actually gotten himself outside and enjoying some fresh air and scenery?
Probably huh.
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Yeah, have they all been re-assigned to another OCamp?? :-)
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Yeah, have they all been re-assigned to another OCamp?? :-)
Maybe they did swim away to another island.
Damn.
I feel like a laboratory scientist learning that some of my prized specimens have disappeared.
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Complete These Words To Celtic Rose The Fair,
I'll End This Rhyme with Perfect Matching Pair.
lol!! That was 10000% better than anything from the Pigsty
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he Last Vegas newspapers where it's mentioned burial was in a piano case?
I thought about checking the other night.. I really only know his first name though.
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lol!! That was 10000% better than anything from the Pigsty
Appreciated - though honestly, Shakespearian Sonnets aren't as hard to write as people make it out to be.
A) Write rough sentences that more or less say what you want to say, including the proper flow of a Sonnet (introduction, development, conclusion)
B) Fix the rhyming end words.
C) Replace, add and/or eliminate words to fix the Iambic Pentameter.
A lot of people try to write them in one pass, and give up in frustration. Model the words as if they were clay, it works better. That Sonnet took about 15 minutes to assemble.
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Challenge To Me From Celtic Rose Presents
I'll Write These Words Using Iambic Time.
To Write Sonnets Complete- As Shakespeare Meant
Impress The Lass I Shall With Ancient Rhyme.
Often My Verse Comes Through In Haiku Jive
Simple Words That Evoke Nature's Presence
In Syllables Of Five, Seven Then Five-
Without A Rhyme To Complete The Sentence.
So Now To This Final Stanza I Bring
My Closing Thoughts On Writing A Sonnet.
Some Words So Bouncy That They Almost Sing
You're Counting All The Syllables I Bet. :tongue:
Complete These Words To Celtic Rose The Fair,
I'll End This Rhyme with Perfect Matching Pair.
Nicely done!!!