The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on January 23, 2010, 12:03:03 PM
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Oh, the pathos:
Nuclear Unicorn (678 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Jan-22-10 07:03 PM
Original message
I think I screwed up...BAD
We all know what the week has been like politically. It's been devastating for progressives from Brown to Air America to the SCOTUS ruling.
Last night I was pretty angry about all of it. The BF came over. We promised not to talk politics with each other because he's basically conservative.
But I was pissed.
Every time he tried to put his arms around me I pulled away. When he asked what was wrong I told him. He got mad for breaking my promise and it started.
I basically blurted out, "to hell with promises these people are a bunch of ****ing racist, bigoted, mysogynist homophobes who will kill us all."
I never saw him so hurt.
He just grabbed his jacket and left.
I threw a sofa pillow after him but before it left my fingers I knew I had screwed up.
I tried calling him but he sent it to voice mail.
I didn't know what to say.
He's the most special person I've ever been with and we've been through a lot in the last year. Even his fundie parents warmed up to me after I started supporting him in his PTSD therapy. We have our differences but he never once stopped trying to make me feel special. He's a big kid that doesn't hesitate to make a fool of himself if he thinks it'll make me smile. It can be -20 out and he'll show up at the crack of dawn to help start my car. My last BF wouldn't even get a job. This one works 12-plus hours a day and then takes me away for entire weekends and dinners.
I believe what I said. I think the corporations will choke our freedoms and kill the planet.
But should I keep back my politics when I'm around him?
I just feel sick about this. I think I love him (something I swore I'd never say again). It was supposed to just be a casual hook-up but it's lasted just over a year.
Does love trump convictions?
What do I say or do to tell him I'm sorry?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9220988
Ah...DUmb love
rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Jan-22-10 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. He's not the enemy, he's a working stiff.
Unless he reveals he owns a factory, he, you, us, are all the prey and have to stick together. His politics will evaporate in the face of reality. Call him up. The only thing you have to be sorry for is mistaking him for a capitalist.
The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Jan-22-10 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
6. That's a tough situation.
The question, I think, is whether you can have a really solid relationship with someone when you have to suppress your beliefs about certain fundamental ideas. You are a liberal because you feel strongly that the world should work in a certain way. That's part of what you are. If you have to leave that part of you out of your relationship with this guy, what will happen? Will you always feel like you're walking on eggs when a major political development occurs and you can't even talk about it for fear of offending him or getting into an argument?
I don't know the answer. Personally, I'd have a tough time getting into a committed relationship under these circumstances; I don't think I could ever love a real conservative. Maybe he's got enough going for him that you can ignore that aspect of him. But I don't think it will go well if you feel you can't discuss such things at all.
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Nuclear Unicorn (678 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Jan-22-10 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. It was a mutual suppression
We were having fun. We agreed we wouldn't talk politics.
I never wanted to hear his conservative talking points. He didn't want to hear my progressive ones.
It was supposed to just be fun so it was an easy arrangment.
I didn't mean to start having feelings for him. It just happened. He'll probably hate me for that too.
jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sat Jan-23-10 12:20 AM
Response to Original message
10. Yes.
Love trumps political convictions.
My closest friend right now--someone I might be romantic with if she weren't married--is a conservative, and religious. I'm liberal and atheist. We can have long conversations and rarely mention religion or politics. We've had run-ins--she basically tried to convert me once, and I barely spoke to her for weeks after that. It hurts having someone you love tell you your beliefs and ideals are wrong, and inferior to theirs. But we got past that. I never did that to her probably just because she did it first, if that makes sense.
If you feel as passionate as you sound about him, call him over and over and apologize over and over until he hears you. Text, email, write his name in the snow, whatever. Make him tell you to go away before you do. Everyone snaps at the people they love sometimes. People forgive that. He needs to know that you get it, and understand why he was hurt, and that you don't feel like that about him. He'll come around if he feels the same as you.
Don't let anyone else tell you who you can love. That's up to you, and between you and him. Good luck. That's my useless opinion. :)
Apologizing on your knees always helps.
:evillaugh:
MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (376 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sat Jan-23-10 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
11. Screwed up... BAD?????
Just listen to yourself.
.
1. He's the most special person I've ever been with and we've been
through a lot in the last year.
.
2. Even his fundie parents warmed up to me after I started supporting
him in his PTSD therapy.
.
3. We have our differences but he never once stopped trying to make me
feel special.
.
4. He's a big kid that doesn't hesitate to make a fool of himself if
he thinks it'll make me smile.
.
5. It can be -20 out and he'll show up at the crack of dawn to help
start my car.
.
6. My last BF wouldn't even get a job. This one works 12-plus hours
a day and then takes me away for entire weekends and dinners.
.
.
WTF?!?!? It's not just me. I think there are a TON of people out here
who would LOVE to have a person half so kind and warm and considerate
and respectful and, yes... LOVING.
.
And I think we could learn to deal with his misguided support for the
wrong ideology. Someone in this thread said it well -- he's not THE
ENEMY; he's a working stiff.
.
I don't think you screwed up... "BAD".
.
I think you ****ED UP MONU-****ING-MENTALLY.
.
Run, don't walk... and do whatever you have to to convince him that
you were ranting about "them", not him (unless you WERE ranting
about him -- if that's so, forget everything I said... and forget him).
.
Good luck!! I envy you for what you had and, if you're lucky, what you
can still have.
.
He sounds like something of a knight on a white charger, and there ain't
a whole lot of them out there anymore.
.
And for him to treat you so well -- that strongly suggests to me that
you're also someone very special. I hope you can tolerate the negative
aspects of your ideological differences, because it certainly sounds like
you both deserve the wonderful positive aspects of each other.
.
Don't tell anyone else that I got serious here. This is just between you
and me. OK?
heh
Then there's this jack-hole:
noamnety (1000+ posts) Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sat Jan-23-10 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
17. Is he a veteran?
asking because of the PTSD comment, and because it would fit a particular pattern of being military, conservative, and being a bit of a male supremacist (controlling behavior) while at the same time wanting to come to the rescue of a damsel in distress (starting your car at the crack of dawn).
I don't have any advice about the relationship itself or where your priorities should be regarding love vs. values, but I would encourage you to learn how to start your own car when it's cold out. If you need help, don't let him do it for you, make him teach you so you can be self-sufficient. And then BE self-sufficient.
:hammer:
Only with DUmmies is an act of support and kindness a male supremacist acting out.
Dear Conservative Wimmenz of CC,
If your car wouldn't start and you called your husband/boyfriend/gigolo-on-retainer and his response was "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...what would be YOUR response?
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Dear Conservative Wimmenz of CC,
If your car wouldn't start and you called your husband/boyfriend/gigolo-on-retainer and his response was "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...what would be YOUR response?
Seriously, you think we NEED a guy to help us?? :rotf: :rotf:
I'd probably never call, but if I did, and that was his reply, it'd be the last call. :-)
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We have our differences but he never once stopped trying to make me feel special. He's a big kid that doesn't hesitate to make a fool of himself if he thinks it'll make me smile. It can be -20 out and he'll show up at the crack of dawn to help start my car. My last BF wouldn't even get a job. This one works 12-plus hours a day and then takes me away for entire weekends and dinners.
This jumped out at me and she doesn`t even grasp it.
That my dear is part of the fundamental difference between a conservative and a liberal.
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Every time he tried to put his arms around me I pulled away. When he asked what was wrong I told him. He got mad for breaking my promise and it started.
I basically blurted out, "to hell with promises these people are a bunch of ******* racist, bigoted, mysogynist homophobes who will kill us all."
I doubt any of us would blame a boyfriend for Supreme Court decisions, either. :thatsright: :mental:
He deserves better than this whacko. Hope he figures that out...
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You know what, her boyfriend sounds like a great guy who deserves more than a girl who takes out her political anger on him. He should give me a call :innocent:
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I have watched 4 basketball games in the past two nights. There is more bounciness here than in two of those.
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You know what, her boyfriend sounds like a great guy who deserves more than a girl who takes out her political anger on him. He should give me a call :innocent:
Yes, he should. Maybe someone would be kind enough to burn a mole to get this guy's name and #... :naughty: :naughty:
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You know what, her boyfriend sounds like a great guy who deserves more than a girl who takes out her political anger on him. He should give me a call :innocent:
If you're willing to move to Texas... :-)
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If you're willing to move to Texas... :-)
One of my best friends actually lives in Houston, I bet she wouldn't mind a roommate :uhsure:
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Seriously, you think we NEED a guy to help us?? :rotf: :rotf:
I'd probably never call, but if I did, and that was his reply, it'd be the last call. :-)
Oh I'd call and expect action. :p
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Her boyfriend should dump her like a 150 lb sack of shit.
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Nuculure UniHorse
You had a real man in your grasp and you forced him away by basically calling him racist, sexist, homophobe blah blah...
He ain't Che, he ain't the idiotic stereotype you leftists have constructed for yourselves.
Don't you know the difference between DU fantasy and real life?? REAL LIFE: Men will show up at the crack of dawn in -20 weather to help start your car. Just think, Nuculur... just think... how many racist, homophobe, sexist blah blah blah have you ever met in your REAL LIFE??? Think about it and then think about all those liberals you have known who wouldn't even try to get a job.... think about this... reality and DU fantasy diverge very widely don't they?
Let this be your wake up call, someday your ex-BF will find a nice, beautiful conservative gal with perfectly behaved kids who are almost always HAPPY... happy... something you were only feeling when... when... you were with HIM... conservative him... just let that sink in there Nuculur UniHorse
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They are nuts. So empty inside that politics trumps everything else. Let's see if one of the DU wuss boys would ever go out in sub-freezing temperatures in the middle of the night. Heck, they most likely wouldn't know what to do when they got there.
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Ahh, it only gets better. lol.
hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Sat Jan-23-10 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
13. Maybe. Maybe not.
Do you really want to or can you live with someone who doesn't share your philosophical ideas. Do you want to live your live repressing your speech and feelings? Politics are more than personal, to me anyway. They concern how you view and interact with the world.
I could never live with someone who is so conservative that they cannot open their minds to the needs of the world around them
Get that freezer yet Mrs. Packer? :rotf:
Joe Fields (1000+ posts) Sat Jan-23-10 12:24 PM
Response to Original message
14. I have two stories to tell on this subject...
2nd story. I had been married for 23 years, and I'm going through a divorce right now, in part because I just HAD to be myself and articulate my politics on a daily basis. Of course there were other factors for the breakup, but my "need" to express my political views on a daily basis definitely played a part, and she isn't even a conservative. But I overdid it and it just added fuel to a burgeoning fire of isolation and resentment.
Can you imagine? Listening to this guy harp on and on every day with his left wing moonbattery?
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I basically blurted out, "to hell with promises these people are a bunch of ****ing racist, bigoted, mysogynist homophobes who will kill us all."
I didn't know Olbermann posted at DU.
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Nuclear Unicorn
It was supposed to just be a casual hook-up ...
There's a story for the grandkids.
.
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So, they had been together for a year- Gee, it sounds like when everything was Love and free ponies the relationship was okay, but now that Obama has had his first widely acknowledged week of failure, suddenly its okay to rant.
Typical liberal.
Whats going to happen come this fall when the Dems lose several more seats ? Going to assault your love interest with a pipe wrench ?
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If your car wouldn't start and you called your husband/boyfriend/gigolo-on-retainer and his response was "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...what would be YOUR response?
My wife's response would involve my Remington 1100 Magnum and a couple rounds of #00 Buckshot. And ya know what? She'd be right.
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Bitch needs to meet stevenumbers.
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Quote from: Mr Snuggle Bunny on Today at 10:03:03 am
Dear Conservative Wimmenz of CC,
If your car wouldn't start and you called your husband/boyfriend/gigolo-on-retainer and his response was "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...what would be YOUR response?
My legs would stay closed for whatever amount of time I deemed appropriate or until I got an appropriate apology gift.
Cindie
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too late. You have let a normal person see the real you. he now knows this inner moonbat can and will come out at any time. Give up trying to get him back, accept your lot, and look for a loser leftwing boyfriend.
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Bitch needs to meet stevenumbers.
:rofl:
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Seriously, you think we NEED a guy to help us?? :rotf: :rotf:
I'd probably never call, but if I did, and that was his reply, it'd be the last call. :-)
I'd call...and if I was told to "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...I'd just say "FINE"
I know the ladies here know what "FINE" means..
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Nuclear Unicorn (678 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Jan-22-10 07:03 PM
Original message
I think I screwed up...BAD
* * *
I basically blurted out, "to hell with promises these people are a bunch of ****ing racist, bigoted, mysogynist homophobes who will kill us all."
Funny how you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
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I'd call...and if I was told to "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...I'd just say "FINE"
I know the ladies here know what "FINE" means..
So does every married man. When I hear that "FINE," I head for the hills--well, the couch! :-)
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I'd call...and if I was told to "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...I'd just say "FINE"
I know the ladies here know what "FINE" means..
You mean as in what fine ladies you all are. (http://209.85.48.11/13592/198/emo/flowers.gif)
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You mean as in what fine ladies you all are. (http://209.85.48.11/13592/198/emo/flowers.gif)
Neighbor, you wanted to use this emoticon:
:bow2:
:tongue:
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You know what, her boyfriend sounds like a great guy who deserves more than a girl who takes out her political anger on him. He should give me a call :innocent:
What's your number?
ETA: It's only going to be -5 here tonight. If you want -20, you have to head up to the north country, up by Berlin. I'm sure it'll get pretty close to that up there tonight.
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Neighbor, you wanted to use this emoticon:
:bow2:
:tongue:
I always mess these things up. :thatsright:
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I didn't know Olbermann posted at DU.
Uh-huh. Jives with what I've been thinking as I've read this thread:
Does anybody here have photographic evidence and a doctor certified gynecological exam attesting that 'Nuclear Unicorn' is, indeed a female of whatever species DUmmies are claimed by? 'Cause I read that, and ran into no statements whatsoever which would refute that this DUmmy wasn't in fact a male of the ghey persuasion.
:puke:
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Seriously, you think we NEED a guy to help us?? :rotf: :rotf:
I'd probably never call, but if I did, and that was his reply, it'd be the last call. :-)
hum....I was thinking about the happy ending to the car warming story....
...I think you know what I am talking about... :naughty:
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Seems apropos:
[youtube=425,350]XZNGPRX_W88[/youtube]
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I'd call...and if I was told to "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...I'd just say "FINE"
I know the ladies here know what "FINE" means..
Can't speak for the other gentlemen here but I am an expert on "FINE". "FINE" means I had better darn well order some flowers and reservations at some expensive restaurant.
My legs would stay closed for whatever amount of time I deemed appropriate or until I got an appropriate apology gift.
Cindie
Worst "FINE" I ever got was during an argument, about something stupid of course, and she yelled that I wasn't getting any for a month. Idiot that I am, I said "maybe not from you...". :fuelfire:
As soon as the words left my mouth, and believe me I would have grabbed them out of the air and shoved them up my hiney if I could have, I knew I was in serious trouble. Talk about a frosty "FINE". We are talking absolute zero frosty "FINE" here. :-)
Man that one was expensive. We are talking fine jewelry expensive here.
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As soon as the words left my mouth, and believe me I would have grabbed them out of the air and shoved them up my hiney if I could have, I knew I was in serious trouble.
Done that (said something I wanted to shove back down my throat) a couple of times, but one of the advantages of marrying later on in life is that one gets to see other people do this, and learn from their mistakes. So, I've never done this with my wife. Bosses, yes.
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My legs would stay closed for whatever amount of time I deemed appropriate or until I got an appropriate apology gift.
Cindie
My husband tried to pull that on me once. ONCE. And never since. I'm guessing the groveling (and my foot in his ass) made a real impression. :)
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Usually, I don't even have to ask about starting the car. But I always make sure to say thank you, with a kiss.
That said, I'm royally pissed off at the DH today, and he can go jump in a lake.
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hmmmmm.....I wouldn't be able to call him, because he goes to work before me and doesn't carry a cell phone. However, prior to the cold snap, he would be at my house, making sure I had antifreeze, that my oil was good, and tires properly inflated. He would also make sure I had a full tank of gas, AND my ice scraper.
I am continuously being trained in proper maintenance of my vehicle. I have been told that there will be no engine rebuilds, or new motor installations if I do not maintain my vehicle properly.
So, basically, I better be able to start my own danged car. :whatever:
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Nuclear Unicorn (678 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Jan-22-10 07:03 PM
Original message
I think I screwed up...BAD
We all know what the week has been like politically. It's been devastating for progressives from Brown to Air America to the SCOTUS ruling.
Last night I was pretty angry about all of it. The BF came over. We promised not to talk politics with each other because he's basically conservative.
But I was pissed.
Every time he tried to put his arms around me I pulled away. When he asked what was wrong I told him. He got mad for breaking my promise and it started.
I basically blurted out, "to hell with promises these people are a bunch of ******* racist, bigoted, mysogynist homophobes who will kill us all."
I never saw him so hurt.
He just grabbed his jacket and left.
I threw a sofa pillow after him but before it left my fingers I knew I had screwed up.
I tried calling him but he sent it to voice mail.
I didn't know what to say.
He's the most special person I've ever been with and we've been through a lot in the last year. Even his fundie parents warmed up to me after I started supporting him in his PTSD therapy. We have our differences but he never once stopped trying to make me feel special. He's a big kid that doesn't hesitate to make a fool of himself if he thinks it'll make me smile. It can be -20 out and he'll show up at the crack of dawn to help start my car. My last BF wouldn't even get a job. This one works 12-plus hours a day and then takes me away for entire weekends and dinners.
I believe what I said. I think the corporations will choke our freedoms and kill the planet.
But should I keep back my politics when I'm around him?
I just feel sick about this. I think I love him (something I swore I'd never say again). It was supposed to just be a casual hook-up but it's lasted just over a year.
Does love trump convictions?
What do I say or do to tell him I'm sorry?
I wonder what her last boyfriend's DU name was...
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Her boyfriend should dump her like a 150 lb sack of shit.
Bingo. He can do better. Much better.
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Bingo. He can do better. Much better.
He needs to take a day off work and find another gal. ::)
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So, they had been together for a year- Gee, it sounds like when everything was Love and free ponies the relationship was okay, but now that Obama has had his first widely acknowledged week of failure, suddenly its okay to rant.
Typical liberal.
Whats going to happen come this fall when the Dems lose several more seats ? Going to assault your love interest with a pipe wrench ?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!! Now that's funny. I don't care who you are!
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Oh I'd call and expect action. :p
I get these kinda calls all the time! I'm the oldest male in 2 families at this time and this is N. Idaho! When it gets down below zero, they would rather I went out into the weather than themselves. That, and I have pretty much every tool known to man. If I don't show up, I'd never hear the end of it!
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My legs would stay closed for whatever amount of time I deemed appropriate or until I got an appropriate apology gift.
Cindie
And it better sparkle, huh?
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And it better sparkle, huh?
Sometimes flowers work. I'm pretty easy to please. The thing is, my husband would never do that.
Cindie
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Usually, I don't even have to ask about starting the car. But I always make sure to say thank you, with a kiss.
That said, I'm royally pissed off at the DH today, and he can go jump in a lake.
I always acknowledge when my husband does something nice or fixes something that amazes me. I swear to God he can fix or make ANYTHING. The latest thing he fixed was the circulation pump on our hot water heater. I thought the plumber had fixed it when he was here but it took FOUR minutes to get warm water in our kitchen sink. The plumber did make it stop making a ticking time bomb sound but it wasn't actually working. My husband went online and figured out what was wrong with it (he took it apart) and now I get instant hot water again.
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I always acknowledge when my husband does something nice or fixes something that amazes me. I swear to God he can fix or make ANYTHING. The latest thing he fixed was the circulation pump on our hot water heater. I thought the plumber had fixed it when he was here but it took FOUR minutes to get warm water in our kitchen sink. The plumber did make it stop making a ticking time bomb sound but it wasn't actually working. My husband went online and figured out what was wrong with it (he took it apart) and now I get instant hot water again.
Now thats something worth gittin on your knees for. :-)
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Now thats something worth gittin on your knees for. :-)
What makes you think I didn't?
:p
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What makes you think I didn't?
:p
More info than I needed to know. Although it's nice to see a real woman in real life nowadays!
As Rush says, we have chick-a-fied the male population in America. After all, what the hell is a "Metro-Sexual"? I've always just figured I was a "Stud" and DUmmies were Geldings!
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Whats going to happen come this fall when the Dems lose several more seats ? Going to assault your love interest with a pipe wrench ?
No way. Broken fingers are far too painful.
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I'd call...and if I was told to "learn how to start your own car when it's cold out"...I'd just say "FINE"
I know the ladies here know what "FINE" means..
Ah yes, the dreaded "fine". That means you will never ever get laid again and other totures. :-)
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What makes you think I didn't?
Oh, trust me, I know the "advantages" of the wife being all warm and cozy.
:p