The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: NHSparky on March 08, 2008, 11:27:22 AM
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Feel free to add your locale or places you've lived...
You know you're from New Hampshire when:
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.
Your snowmobile is worth more than your car.
Vacation means going up north to Pittsburg for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours. (or beers)
You know several people that have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
You drive at 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as venison, beer, fish, and berries.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Shaw's at any given time.
You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in winter because all the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a hurry because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
You buy your Christmas presents at the feed and grain store.
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
Snow tires come standard on all your cars.
You refer to the Patriots as "we".
You can identify a Massachusetts accent.
You know what cow-tipping is.
Down South to you means Boston.
You consider Manchester exotic. (Manch-Vegas, baby!)
You can actually pronounce Kancamagus.
You know what a bubbler is.
You know only three spices--salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You can recognize someone from Massachusetts from their driving. (no shit!)
You were unaware there is a legal drinking age.
You know where Contoocook is AND can pronounce it.
You can visit Berlin, New London, Bethlehem, Lisbon, Lebanon and Dublin all in one afternoon.
You've seen mosquitos with landing lights.
The local paper covers major headlines on one page, but requires four pages for sports.
At least twice a year, your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You find 0 degrees mild and anything above 35 degrees "shorts weather".
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Sorry about your snow blower. :rotf:
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London
You're guaranteed to have a tourist with a huge back-pack dawdling along in front of you when you're running late
It's a guaranteed 15 minutes to get to Heathrow so you can leave London, but it's not guaranteed that you'll get from one stop to the next on a tube in the same time
It's guaranteed that your cleaner is Ghanian, your laundry guy is Greek, your bartender is Australian, your sandwich lady Czech, your newsagent Indian, your doctor Italian, your kebab man Turkish, everyone else Jewish, but your cabbie a Londoner (who now lives in Essex)!
The Tube should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro/Subway.
You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Smoke."
You think Hyde Park is "nature."
Your wardrobe is filled with black clothes.
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
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You Know you're from Atlanta when:
You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." You only know their way to work and their way home.
You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy.
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.
You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.
Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
You feel that going the speed limit or below is a jailable offense.
You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already.
You've never gone around the block and ended up on the street you started on.
You've woken up at 4:30 am on workdays to beat the traffic to work, intending to leave work before 3 pm to compensate. You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them ideal.
You know what "sunshine slowdown", "auto-flambe'", "topside" mean, and what color a H.E.R.O. is.
You know where PIB, JCB, FIB, MLK, PDK and "Grady curve" are, and you try to never go there during any of the nine hours of rush "hour."
You've thought about getting a blow-up companion for the front passenger seat.
You hope you are the one to spot the vehicle that is the subject of the latest "Amber Alert" which has been flashing for ten minutes on the DOT message board exactly 13.5 feet above the hood of your SUV.
You have been to the Big Chicken. You have givin directions to a person where the Big Chicken is a point of reference.
You've been in traffic on 85, 75, 20 or 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile ahead.
I put my favorite in bold. :lmao:
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London
You think Hyde Park is "nature."
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.
I think I've been to Hyde Park. It looked like a golf course with benches.
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* A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
* How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
* How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
* Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
* What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee? Documentaries.
* Where was the toothbrush invented? Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
* A Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-65 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"
* Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
* A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
* A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?'
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
"The man says,"I mount animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
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Things I've Learned About Tennessee...
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Tennessee.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennessee plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. Squirrels will eat anything.
5. Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
6. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
7. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
8. Onced and twiced are words.
9. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
10. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
11. People actually grow and eat okra.
12. Fixinto is one word.
13. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
14. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals.
15. "Fix" is a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store "
16. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
17. You know whether another Tennessean is from east, west or middle Tennessee as soon as they open their mouth.
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You Know you're from Atlanta when:
You forgot any reference to The Varsity? FOR SHAME! :chairshot:
You still laugh every time you see the "Cynthia McKinney Parkway" sign. (I know I do!)
You cringe every time you hear "Transportation Mall".
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You Know you're from Atlanta when:
You forgot any reference to The Varsity? FOR SHAME! :chairshot:
You still laugh every time you see the "Cynthia McKinney Parkway" sign. (I know I do!)
You cringe every time you hear "Transportation Mall".
I cut and pasted that from another website. NOT MY FAULT! :asssmack: :lmao:
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You know you're from Orange County (CA) when:
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
Left is right, right is wrong.
Your monthly house payment exceeds your annual income.
A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
A high (or low) speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
The guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. (Actually, it was Ben Affleck I ran into at a Santa Monica Starbucks.)
You can't remember...Is pot illegal?
You know how to eat an artichoke.
You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code.
A 4.0 earthquake doesn't even wake you up. (It was a 7.2 that last woke me up.)
You HATE it when people call it "The OC".
When asked how long it takes to get between two points, the first word from your mouth is, "Depends."
Your status is judged by the mall you go to.
You're shocked when you hit a fast food drive-thru and don't have to order in Spanish.
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High school days! And in some ways, I still miss Farmington:
You know you're from New Mexico when:
You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for international shipping.
You expect to pay more if your house is made of Adobe.
You can order your Big Mac with green chile. (Screw that--just go to Blake's Lotaburger!)
You buy salsa by the gallon.
You know what it means when they say it's from Hatch.
Your Christmas decorations include "red Chiles, a half-ton of sand and 200 paper bags."
Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los."
You can actually hear the Taos hum.
All your out-of-state friends and relatives ask if they can drink the water when they come to visit.
You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.
Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature, the other in the state penitentiary. (and they trade places every four years!)
You know what it means when a waitress asks you whether you want "red or green."
Your High School Biology teacher taught you how to identify all of the desert plants that you could get high off of, and how to do it.
You see the "Inn at the Butte" sign and laugh.
You know what an Arroyo is.
There is a kachina somwhere in your home or yard.
You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.
You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley and the Owl Bar was better before they put in the turn-off. (Best Mexican food EVER.)
Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
When driving through Espanola, low-rider school buses don't faze you.
You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3 a.m. because you were hungry.
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Things I've Learned About Tennessee...
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Tennessee.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennessee plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. Squirrels will eat anything.
5. Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
6. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
7. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
8. Onced and twiced are words.
9. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
10. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
11. People actually grow and eat okra.
12. Fixinto is one word.
13. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
14. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals.
15. "Fix" is a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store "
16. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
17. You know whether another Tennessean is from east, west or middle Tennessee as soon as they open their mouth.
That list strongly resembles one I found for Louisiana. :lmao: :whatever:
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Okay, found a more unique list: :lmao:
You Know You're From Louisiana When...
The crawfish mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass.
You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"
Every so often, you have waterfront property.
When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee."
When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."
You've ever had Community Coffee.
You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.
You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.
You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.
The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.
You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.
The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake.
You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.
You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.
You believe that purple, green and gold look good together.
Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.
You describe a color as "K & B Purple."
You like your rice and politics dirty.
You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins."
You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.
You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.
You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-through Daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads.
You have flood insurance.
Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.
You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast.
You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.
You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands.
You have a parade ladder in your shed.
Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your first drink was from a go-cup.
You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.
You reply to anything and everything about life here with "Only in Nahlins".
You have a monogrammed go-cup.
You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don’t think twice.
You shake out your shoes before putting them on.
Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.
No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.
You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner.
You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" when you're inquiring about seafood quality. When a hurricane is imminent
When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
You call tomato sauce "red gravy."
You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them.
Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.
Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw."
You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans.
No one eats healthy. Fried Batter is actually a menu item in some restaurants.
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You know you're from Oklahoma if:
You know the difference between the city of Durant and the city of Doo-rant.
It doesn't seem odd to see the term "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.
You have used the phrase "fixin' to" during the last 12 months.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
You save all your life for your dream vacation, and use it to go to the OU/Texas game.
A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, and Okemah.
You don't turn on the news until 20 minutes past the hour, because that's the only thing you care about anyway.
When someone refers to the current season, you have no idea if they mean spring, summer, fall, winter or football.
"Howdy" seems to be a normal way of greeting another adult, with no irony intended.
You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.
A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked
You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
The local papers covers national and international news on one page
but requires six pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."
You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
You know whether another Oklahoman is from east, west, north or south
Oklahoma as soon as they open their mouth.
There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin"
or off to "Wally World."
You describe the first cold snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless
of brand or flavor.
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London
You think Hyde Park is "nature."
You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.
I think I've been to Hyde Park. It looked like a golf course with benches.
That's the one. :-)
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The list for Tennesse brings back memories of when I was stationed at Ft. Campbell,KY. It sits on the state line with KY and Tenn. For the past 6 years I have been vacationing in Louisvill Ky to go to a model building Convention and every year we joke about how its illeagle to have books in your possesion in Ky.
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You Know You're From Houston If...............
1. You're on your way to work one FEBRUARY morning and suddenly you're trapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses with riders and you look around to see that everybody in the cars around you is wearing a cowboy hat.
2. The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.
3. If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to a Randall's Flagship, a Kroger Signature, a Rice Epicurean, or soon, an HEB Central Market to buy bread and milk (but you have to dress up, and your dog and cat are out of luck if you go to the latter - nothing as mundane as pet food there).
4. You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
5. You have a Roach Story: You opened your flatware drawer to find a roach the size of the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He stood up and looked you in the eye. You closed the drawer, bought new flatware - and stored it in the oven. Or your friend has a Roach Story - about a dive bomber who crashed her formal dinner party, made several passes at guests whose heads were bobbing like little dogs in car windows, and finally landed in somebody's soup.
6. When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire ant bed.
7. The name "Bud Adams" makes people snarl, and "Bum Phillips" doesn't mean a bad screwdriver.
8. "Luv ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town.
9. You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.
10. You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue-tailed norther" has blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.
11.Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations look like a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp.
12. You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs because they're written in Asian characters instead of English, but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.
13. You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two hand- holding cross dressers on roller blades.
15. You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window shop. (You can't afford to buy because the prices are jacked up for all the foreign tourists.)
16. You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.
17. You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.
18. For a Chili Cookoff, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped (not ground)- beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes.
19. Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.
20. Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south.
21. You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits (during rush hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD).
22. You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under construction, and you've lived here for 20-30 years.
23. If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a GOOD hair day.
24. You know that "Clutch City" has nothing to do with automobile transmissions.
25. The "Dream" is not a fantasy.
26. The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
27. A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.
28. You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. treasury.
29. You're happy to have beaten Los Angeles out of a football team, but you'd rather they keep the title of "Smog Capital."
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The list for Tennesse brings back memories of when I was stationed at Ft. Campbell,KY. It sits on the state line with KY and Tenn. For the past 6 years I have been vacationing in Louisvill Ky to go to a model building Convention and every year we joke about how its illeagal to have books in your possesion in Ky.
Hopkinsville is on the TN side of the base. They refer to it as "Hop-Town". :p
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Philly:
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."
You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Peeay).How many other states do that?
You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" ( A Ground Hog ) is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.
You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."
You enjoy scrapple, even though you know what's in it.
You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know how to order a cheesesteak "with or without."
Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.
You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.
You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich and a Primanti's, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
"You guys" and "ynz" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, and Conshohauken
You know what a "Mummer" is.
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Philly:
Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
My dad (and his family) is from New York. My mom used to make us those for breakfast. :)
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Philly:
Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
My dad (and his family) is from New York. My mom used to make us those for breakfast. :)
Huh. I thought that was just a Philly thing.
Dippy eggs and scrapple...breakfast of champions! :-)
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Funny list, Mack. :-)
You Know You're From Houston If...............
7. The name "Bud Adams" makes people snarl...
:censored: :banghead: :censored: :censored: :bird:
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The list for Tennesse brings back memories of when I was stationed at Ft. Campbell,KY. It sits on the state line with KY and Tenn. For the past 6 years I have been vacationing in Louisvill Ky to go to a model building Convention and every year we joke about how its illeagal to have books in your possesion in Ky.
Hopkinsville is on the TN side of the base. They refer to it as "Hop-Town". :p
Yeah good old Hoptown and Clarksvile, Tenn. with Oak Grove, Ky stuck right in between them and outside Gates 1-4 if I remember right. There are times I miss bar hopping all outside of post but then again I realize that is that most of us were broke 3 -7 days before each payday and the pawn shops were doing good business .
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One from the web that my brother (from Jersey) sent me.
* You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
* You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
* You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."
* You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."
* You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
* You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
* You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
* Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
* You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
* You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
* At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
* You know what a "jug handle" is.
* You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
* You know that the state isn't all farmland.
* You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
* You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
* Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
* You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
* You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
* You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
* You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
* You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).
* You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"
* You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."
* You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
* You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
* In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.
* You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
* You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.
* You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."
* You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.
* The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
* You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
* You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
* You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
* Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
* You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.
* You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
* You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
* You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
* You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
* And finally...
* You've never pumped your own gas.
It's missing some thing like "Youse guys" when referring to a group of people or Youse All if you're from south jersey.
You know how to do a "Jersey Merge" to get on the highway.
-
Monday, November 06, 2006
Nebraska, my Nebraska!
Here’s what comedian Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Nebraska (and Nebraskans):
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Nebraska.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest or hottest spot in the nation, you might live in Nebraska.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Nebraska.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Nebraska.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Nebraska.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Nebraska.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Nebraska.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Nebraska.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Nebraska.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE NEBRASKAN WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once (and some who when back and picked it up; it’s legal here).
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend (or wife) knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter & DARN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Kansas.
15. A brat is something you eat.
16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
17. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday and every Saturday (if the Huskers are playing or not).
18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fireworks melted.
19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Nebraska friends.
All of the above is true, by the way.
-
You know you're from Miami when...
you call flip-flops chancletas
you wear chancletas EVERYWHERE
you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go
the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light
you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, meringue, bachata, or reggaeton at a party
you buy your party food at Blue Sky
you refer to your hometown as 305 or MIA
you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish
you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning streak
you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case
you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school
you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach
you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell outside...literally
you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore
you want to move out of Miami some day, but you say you'll come back
you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow them in your backyard
you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "hablas espanol?" cuz they barely can speak english
you know your pastelitos (heck yeah!)
you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices
you bump into Trick Daddy everywhere
you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm
you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by ever y 30 minutes
it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and boots
you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 3-4am
you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their houses
your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep
you know the only hills are trash hills
the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals
you know any woman walking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is a prostitute
you own a guayabera or know what one is
you take your car to go one block down the street
you buy mamoncillos & limes while waiting in traffic
a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey
you see a sushi bar on every corner
you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical
your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah
you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11
there's a navarro on every corner
you have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time. (lol you know thats true)
-when the sound of several car horns signals the death of a dictator instead of a car accident.
*TKay*
-
Heres mine!
- You show people where you're from by pointing to a spot on the back
of your left hand. (Especially useful if you're from the Thumb or the
Little Finger.)
- The only place in the world can you experience
all four seasons in one day.
- You know what a 'party store' is.
- You've never met any celebrities.
- "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.
- At least one member of your family disowns you the
week of the Michigan / Michigan State game.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.
- Half the change in your pocket is Canadian....eh?
- You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
- You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
- It's easy to get Vernor's ginger ale, Better Made chips, Sanders hot fudge
sauce, and Faygo pop.
- You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
- You've had to switch on the heat and the air conditioning in the same day.
- You bake with SODA and drink POP.
- The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it
a documentary.
- Your little league game was snowed out.
- The word "thumb" has geographical rather than anatomical significance.
- Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
- You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't far from Hell.
- Your year has two seasons: Winter and Construction.
- Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.
- You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
- When owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.
- You believe that "down south" means Toledo.
- Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack and a bucket of smelt.
- You know that Big Mac is something that you drive over.
- You can see a car running in a parking lot with no one in it, no matter what
time of the year.
- You end your sentences with a preposition; example: "Where's my
coat at?"
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain,
or animal.
- You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, BBQ sauce,
and beer.
- You carry jumper cables and snow chains in your trunk.
- You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving in the winter is better because the pot-holes are filled with snow.
- Your favorite holidays are Christmas,Thanksgiving, and the opening of
Deer Season, which you consider a National Holiday.
- You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
- You learned to drive a boat before you could ride a bike.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.
- Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
- You’ve ever used the word “bogue.â€
- The "Big Three" means either Ford, Chrysler and GM,
or Little Caesar's, Domino's, or Hungry Howie's.
- You think alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
- Your definition of a small Michigan town is one that doesn't have a lake.
- You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
- You attend a formal event in your best clothing, finest jewelry, and
snowmobile boots.
- The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
- You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
- The orange barrel is considered Michigan's 'other' lighthouse.
-
Well, I know I am! LOL :lmao:
You know you're from Miami when...
you call flip-flops chancletas
you wear chancletas EVERYWHERE
you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go
the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a r ed light
:lmao: yes! lol
you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, meringue, bachata, or reggaeton at a party
That's a sin in Miami...lol
you buy your party food at Blue Sky
you refer to your hometown as 305 or MIA 305... :lmao:
you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish :thatsright: probably even more true then 15 years ago
you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning streak
you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case
you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school :lmao: too true
you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach totally true now I bet...I remember the days of desolate empty buildings when it was 'in' to go clubbing on south beach
you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell outside...literally
you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore tis true
you want to move out of Miami some day, but you say you'll come back oh shit! LOL
you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow them in your backyard it kills me to buy either now if I do
you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "hablas espanol?" cuz they barely can speak english
you know your pastelitos (heck yeah!)
yes!
you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices
you bump into Trick Daddy everywhere
you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm Ahh, some things never change..lol
you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by ever y 30 minutes bus has got worse eh?
it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and boots SOME people don't understand why I freeze when the register is set around 68 in the winter...thank you! LOL
you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 3-4am lol
you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their houses
haha! LOL
your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep
you know the only hills are trash hills yep, way down south on Old Cutler if its still 'active'...Nuclear power and trash pile within a couple miles of one another--prime real estate!
the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals :lmao:
you know any woman walking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is a prostitute lol too true
you own a guayabera or know what one isEvery friend who had a Cuban grandfather knows this one...
you take your car to go one block down the street
you buy mamoncillos & limes while waiting in traffic yes :lmao:
a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey
you see a sushi bar on every corner
you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical drool!
your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah :lmao:
you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11 What? lol
there's a navarro on every corner
you have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time. (lol you know thats true)
-when the sound of several car horns signals the death of a dictator instead of a car accident. oh shit, I want to be there for that one when that time comes!
*TKay*
-
You’re from
South Georgia if
1. You can properly pronounce Chickamauga, DeKalb, Dahlonega, Smyrna, Buena Vista, Valdosta, Okefenokee, and LaFayette. P.S.
Atlanta = ADD-LANNA, not AT-LANT-A.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don’t have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.
6. You’ve seen people wear bib overalls at weddings and funerals.
7. You think everyone from a Yankee state has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You know someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. Almost everyone you know is either Baptist or Methodist.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Crew Cab with extended bed is.
16. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. Ironically, you only crave Chick-Fil-A and alcohol on Sundays . . when neither is sold.
19. On one side of the road there’s Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field.
20. The directions to your house include “turn off the paved road.â€
21. Fried chicken is a major part of your diet
22. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the only kind of doughnuts you eat.
23.. You call it a cold Christmas if you don’t break out in a sweat in your new sweater.
24. When a single snowflake falls, the entire state shuts down, even if it doesn’t stick. The radio and TV news will make snowstorm reports every ten minutes and the grocery store will be completely sold out of bread, milk, bottled water, toilet paper, and adult drinks.
25. People actually grow, eat, and like okra!
26. You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.
27. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
28. Panama City Beach, Florida, is a big deal.
29. You understand that at least once a year your car will turn yellow with pollen.
30. You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.
31. You say “tuna fish sandwich.â€
32. You use “Sir†and “Ma’am†if there’s a remote possibility that the person you’re talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.
33. Braves=good. Yankees=bad.
34. You love sweet tea, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and all Southern comfort food . . . and Southern comfort.
35. You know the whole peach state thing only applies to those below the fall line.
36. You have a flip-flop tan year-round
37. You use “The Big Peanut†as a basis for all directions.
38. You get dressed extra nice TWICE a week . . . once on Sunday morning for church, and once on Friday night for the football game.
39. You consider everyone north of Macon a Yankee.
And finally . . . 40. You are 100% Georgian if you have ever had this conversation: “You wanna coke?†“Yeah.†“What kind?†“Dr. Pepper.â€
-
You Know You're From Houston If...............
18. For a Chili Cookoff, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped (not ground)- beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes.
D*mned right. :cheersmate:
-
Texas
…when someone asks what kind of Coke you want, and you answer, “Dr. Pepperâ€.
…you can pronounce Waxahachie
…when stores have bags instead of sacks
…you think 90 degrees is a bit warm
…there is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
…when you eat hot chilies to cool off your mouth
…when you can make instant sun tea
…when hot water comes out of both taps
…when the best parking spaces are determined by shade and not distance
…when you have taken your children Trick-or-Treating when it’s 90+ degrees
…when your pastor wears boots
…four generations of your family sit together in church
…when the women are amazingly beautiful :naughty:
…when you can buy Blue Belle for $3.29/half gallon.
…when half the radio stations play country & western music
Now for the serious part:
When you're from Texas, people who you meet ask you questions like, "Do you have any cows?" It's nice to be able to say yes. They ask you, "Do you have horses?" Yup. Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh? Of course.
They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas. Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Why sure you have. Look at Texas for me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it, they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt, and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You'll get it maybe after a second, but who else would? Even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this little rock the Good Lord put us on, there is somewhere in them a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride in a pickup. Did you ever hear anyone in a restaurant go, "Wow... so you're from Ok-la-homa. Cool. Tell me about it"? There is some bit of Texas in everyone. Do you know why? Because Texas is Texas.
Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican soldiers, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves but stayed. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and Bowie, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand, and they decided to be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is Texas. Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto. Texas is Texas Independence Day and Juneteenth. Texas is huge forests of piney woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest. Texas is breathtaking mountains in Big Bend. Texas is shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas. Texas is oak and cedar trees, cactus, Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork. Texas is Mexican food like nowhere in the world, even Mexico. Texas is larger-than-life legends like Earl Campbell and Nolan Ryan, Denton Cooley and Michael DeBakey, Lyndon Johnson, George Bush, and George W. Bush, Willie Nelson and Buddy Holly. Texas is great
companies like Dell Computer and Compaq. Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops. Texas is skies blackened with doves and leases full of deer. Texas is the best Bar-b-que anywhere. Texas is a place where cities shut down for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football and the streets are deserted during church.
Texas is beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies.
Texas was its own country. The Republic of Texas. Every time I think of all these things I tear up. All of them make you proud to be a Texan.
-
Texas
Now for the serious part:
When you're from Texas, people who you meet ask you questions like, "Do you have any cows?" It's nice to be able to say yes. They ask you, "Do you have horses?" Yup. Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh? Of course.
They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas. Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Why sure you have. Look at Texas for me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it, they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt, and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You'll get it maybe after a second, but who else would? Even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this little rock the Good Lord put us on, there is somewhere in them a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride in a pickup. Did you ever hear anyone in a restaurant go, "Wow... so you're from Ok-la-homa. Cool. Tell me about it"? There is some bit of Texas in everyone. Do you know why? Because Texas is Texas.
Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican soldiers, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves but stayed. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and Bowie, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand, and they decided to be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is Texas. Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto. Texas is Texas Independence Day and Juneteenth. Texas is huge forests of piney woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest. Texas is breathtaking mountains in Big Bend. Texas is shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas. Texas is oak and cedar trees, cactus, Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork. Texas is Mexican food like nowhere in the world, even Mexico. Texas is larger-than-life legends like Earl Campbell and Nolan Ryan, Denton Cooley and Michael DeBakey, Lyndon Johnson, George Bush, and George W. Bush, Willie Nelson and Buddy Holly. Texas is great
companies like Dell Computer and Compaq. Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops. Texas is skies blackened with doves and leases full of deer. Texas is the best Bar-b-que anywhere. Texas is a place where cities shut down for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football and the streets are deserted during church.
Texas is beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies.
Texas was its own country. The Republic of Texas. Every time I think of all these things I tear up. All of them make you proud to be a Texan.
Lug-Nut, would your real name happen to be Hank Hill? Because that was the voice I heard in my head while reading that. Good piece.
-
Texas
Now for the serious part:
When you're from Texas, people who you meet ask you questions like, "Do you have any cows?" It's nice to be able to say yes. They ask you, "Do you have horses?" Yup. Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh? Of course.
They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas. Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Why sure you have. Look at Texas for me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it, they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt, and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You'll get it maybe after a second, but who else would? Even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this little rock the Good Lord put us on, there is somewhere in them a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride in a pickup. Did you ever hear anyone in a restaurant go, "Wow... so you're from Ok-la-homa. Cool. Tell me about it"? There is some bit of Texas in everyone. Do you know why? Because Texas is Texas.
Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican soldiers, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves but stayed. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and Bowie, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand, and they decided to be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is Texas. Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto. Texas is Texas Independence Day and Juneteenth. Texas is huge forests of piney woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest. Texas is breathtaking mountains in Big Bend. Texas is shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas. Texas is oak and cedar trees, cactus, Bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork. Texas is Mexican food like nowhere in the world, even Mexico. Texas is larger-than-life legends like Earl Campbell and Nolan Ryan, Denton Cooley and Michael DeBakey, Lyndon Johnson, George Bush, and George W. Bush, Willie Nelson and Buddy Holly. Texas is great
companies like Dell Computer and Compaq. Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops. Texas is skies blackened with doves and leases full of deer. Texas is the best Bar-b-que anywhere. Texas is a place where cities shut down for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football and the streets are deserted during church.
Texas is beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies.
Texas was its own country. The Republic of Texas. Every time I think of all these things I tear up. All of them make you proud to be a Texan.
Lug-Nut, would your real name happen to be Hank Hill? Because that was the voice I heard in my head while reading that. Good piece.
Nope. :-) I got that in an email a while back. Whoever wrote it must be a true native.
-
Just bringing this thread back from the dead folks. (Zombie Thread!!!) Don't mind me, just didn't get my two cents in at the time.
:-)
You know you're from Oklahoma if:
There is a Braums in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
Love and miss Braums. :bawl:
Anywho....
You know your from Ohio when...
You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital.
You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You've heard of 3.2% beer.
Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too.
You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,and Tuscarawas *(Wapakoneta?) and you know which letter is doubled in "Cincinnati."
You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.
You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.
You measure distance in minutes.
Down south to you means Kentucky.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You know what pop is.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
You know your from Cincinnati when...
Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union (United Dairy
Farmers).
You can't hear the words "Mike Brown" without getting angry.
You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall Fame.
You have more stadiums, coliseums, and arenas than you know what to do with.
You somehow have a soft spot for Marge Schott.
It doesn't seem weird to you that everyone has an Uncle Al.
Your favorite Coney Island isn't in New York.
You like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney.
You know how Jerry Springer got his start.
You know what a pony keg is.
You have friends and neighbors with names like Machenheimer, Guckenberger,
Schlottman, Schoenling, and Schweitering.
You know what brats and metts are, and you've probably tasted goetta.
You know that cars (like eggs) are cheaper in the country.
You know that Cherokee Motors was located at 7505 Vine (where Paddock meets
Vine at the big Indian sign).
An all-boys or all-girls school doesn't seem that odd to you -- (since there's
probably one in your neighborhood, and maybe you even went to it).
You think a mixed marriage is when an East Sider marries a West Sider.
You know the difference between Hudy and "Who Dey."
You know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright
red.
Someone says "Norwood" and you automatically laugh (unless you actually live
there).
You can visit California, Lebanon, and Moscow -- and Over-the-Rhine -- all in
the same day.
You hate Cleveland (even though you've probably never been there).
You think Kentucky is only slightly more civilized than Afghanistan.
You know in which state the Greater Cincinnati Airport is located.
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You Know You're From FRESNO When...
You have to explain to friends from out of town what
animal a "Tri-tip" comes from.
You think salsa goes on everything
Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.
Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October,
but clear out before the end of April.
The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los."
You think $400 a month rent is way too high.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
People break out coats when the temperature
drops below 70
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You still don't know your way around downtown.
Anywhere "and 99" is too far away.
You think you're better than people from Clovis.
Someone mentions the Fair and your thoughts immediately turn to Cinnamon Rolls.
You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.
You have to explain to someone about "G Street." (where the whores hang out)
The whole town shuts down at 11:00.
You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.
You hadn't been to Manchester Center in 10 years until the movie theater opened.
You never knew how you managed before River Park.
Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, "Just wait."
You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.
You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.
-
Where's Fresno?
-
Where's Fresno?
Its just east of the seventh circle of Hell
The asshole of CA. Well, more like the taint of CA, being, as it is, about halfway between the nuts in Frisco and the Assholes in LA...
(http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/images/products/FRESNO1.gif)
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Philly:
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."
You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Peeay).How many other states do that?
You know what "Punxsutawney Phil" ( A Ground Hog ) is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.
You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."
You enjoy scrapple, even though you know what's in it.
You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know how to order a cheesesteak "with or without."
Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.
You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.
You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich and a Primanti's, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
"You guys" and "ynz" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, and Conshohauken
You know what a "Mummer" is.
Outstanding! :rotf: I LOVE hoagies and soft-pretzels. High-5 +1
A couple more:
-- You drink "wooder" and eat "wooder-ices." Only a snob says "waahter."
-- If one more jerk-off from out of town shouts "Yo Adrian!" at you, you're going to punch him. This, of course, in no way precludes you from ever shouting "Yo Adrian!" whenever you damn well please. It's a birth-right, like "Ooh-rah" is for the Marines.
-- No matter how many friends/family you have in or from Texas, Dallas sucks. And Dallas fans are jerk-offs.
-- Chicky & Pete's, Pat's or Gino's. Accept no substitutes.
-- Donovan McNabb is awesome.
-- Donovan McNabb is a jerk-off.
-- You're not aware of any rule or regulation precluding you from hurling shit onto the field when those jerk-offs deserve it.
-- The Philadelphia Parking Authority is a bunch of jerk-offs.
-- You've visited New York and were impressed by how clean it is. But New Yorkers are still jerk-offs.
-
You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall Fame.
He SHOULD, dammit! If he could lead the phriggin' Phillies to the World Series, that alone should excuse anything else he did.
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Where's Fresno?
Its just east of the seventh circle of Hell
The asshole of CA. Well, more like the taint of CA, being, as it is, about halfway between the nuts in Frisco and the Assholes in LA...
(http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/images/products/FRESNO1.gif)
:bwah:
+1
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You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall Fame.
He SHOULD, dammit! If he could lead the phriggin' Phillies to the World Series, that alone should excuse anything else he did.
That gets him in heaven, at least, that's for sure! :-)
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Yunz are from Picksburgh if:
- You didn't have a spring break in high school.
- You walk carefully when it is "slippy" outside.
- You often go down to the "crick."
- You've told your children to "red up" their rooms.
- You can remember telling your little brother/sister to stop being so "nebby."
- You've gotten hurt by falling into a "jaggerbush."
- Your mother or grandmother has been seen wearing a "babushka" on her head.
- You've "warshed" the clothes.
- I ask you to hand me one of those "Gum-Bands" you actually know what I'm talking about.
- You know you can't drive too fast on the back roads, because of the deer.
- You know Beaver Valley, Turtle Creek, Moon, Mars, Slippery Rock, Greentree and New Castle are names of towns. (and you've been to most, if not all).
- A girl walks up to three of her girl friends and says, HEY YENZGUYS
- You hear "you guyses," and don't think twice. (Example..."you guyses house is nice")
- You know the three rivers by name and understand that "The Point" isn't just on a writing instrument.
- Someone refers to "The Mon" or "The Yough" and you know exactly what they're talking about.
- You remember the blizzard of 1994 (or 1976, or 1939, or...) and remember not being able to go outside because the snow was over your head and you would have suffocated.
- Someone starts the chant, "Here we go Still-ers!" and you join in in the proper cadence. Waving the appropriately colored towel.
- Bob Prince and "There's a bug on the rug." hold special meaning for you.
- You've either eaten a Farkleberry Tart or know someone who has.
- You drink pop, eat hoagies, love perogies and one of your favorite sandwiches actually has french fries ON it.
- By the way, dgyeat yet?
- You know what a "still mill" is.
- You expect temps in the winter to be record breaking cold, and temps in the summer to be record breaking hot.
- You know what Eat'N Park is and frequently ate breakfast there at 2:00 AM after the bar closed and made fun of people.
- You order "dippy eggs" in a restaurant and get exactly what you wanted.
- You spent your summers, or a school picnic, at Kennywood, Sand Castle, or Idlewild.
- You've been to the Braun's Bread Plant or Story Book Forest for a school field trip.
- "Chipped ham" was always in your refrigerator when you were growing up.
- You refuse to buy any condiments besides Heinz unless a Pittsburgh athlete's picture is on the side of the container.
- Franco, Roberto, and Mario don't need last names and you can recite their exploits by heart.
- Your last name has 8 or more letters in it (and you either have a 'Z,' 'U' or >> a 'ski' somewhere in there) and nobody can pronounce it. And oft times, even if your name has fewer letters, folks still can't pronounce it.
- Food at a wedding reception consists of rigatoni, stuffed cabbage, chicken and a cookie table.
I wonder how many of Yunz guys actually understood all dat? Some folks just don't get dem things....n at....
http://www.primetimepolkas.com/pittsburgh.htm