The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on January 12, 2010, 05:22:48 PM
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Well, DUmmy stevenumbers may be gone, but DUmmy Berry Cool sounds like his wingman:
Berry Cool (1000+ posts) Tue Jan-12-10 06:05 PM
Original message
Hey guys! Wanna ask a woman out? Wanna not come off like a creepy stalker?
Some tips:
1. If she's riding public transportation and is alone in a two-seater, don't just come up and plop yourself down in the seat next to hers if your mode of transportation is not full. Sitting in the seat ahead of or behind her and finding a way to get her attention is better, if you must.
2. If you want to strike up a conversation with her, find other topics to discuss than querying her as to:
a. her name
b. her marital status
c. where she lives
d. where she works
e. her phone number
At least start off talking about something else...the weather, if need be. Work UP to the other stuff. "You married?" is NOT a conversation starter.
3. Don't ask her her name without giving yours first.
4. Don't make it abundantly clear that you pretty much know where she lives and works because you live right near her and you have watched her comings and goings for quite a while now...or that you have seen her out on her back deck a lot.
5. Don't come walking rapidly up to her in the dark out of nowhere, while she is sitting at a bus stop alone, and have the first thing that comes out of your mouth be "You married?"
6. Don't come walking rapidly up to her in the daytime out of nowhere, keeping pace with her, telling her how fine she looks, and asking her out.
7. Don't attempt to compliment her by reassuring her that there is some aspect of her physical appearance that she probably thinks is unattractive (her nose, her weight, her butt) but that really, REALLY happens to turn YOU on.
8. If you ask her out and she refuses you because she says she's in a relationship, don't quiz her for more details about the relationship.
9. If you ask her out and she refuses you, don't ask why. Don't keep asking. Don't ask her if she'll go out with you in a box, with a fox, in the rain, on a train...
10. If she refuses you and admits she's not in a relationship, don't act as if she's obligated to go out with you just because she isn't in a relationship, and is being unfair to you if she doesn't.
11. If she refuses you and admits she's not in a relationship, don't ask her if it's for some reason that is designed to make her feel like she's a bad person, or to goad her into feeling she has to go out with you just to prove she's not a bad person.
12. If she refuses you because she says she just doesn't want to go out with you, don't say "Well, maybe someday you'll change your mind."
13. If she does something that makes it pointedly clear she doesn't want to continue talking to you--such as getting out and reading a book, taking out her phone, moving away and looking out the window--give up. Just stop talking to her and move on.
If she should ever change her mind, she will let you know. Trust me on this one.
Also trust me that if you don't follow these rules, she is going to think you're a socially inept person at best and a creepy stalker at worst, and she is never, NEVER going to go out with you.
The end.
http://www.democraticunderground.com//discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7449744
Damn! In my single days, I could have used #7. I always started a conversation with a chick I didn't know by complimenting her butt. It resulted in a high failure rate, and even the successes were regrettable.
A voice of reason:
ddeclue (1000+ posts) Tue Jan-12-10 06:12 PM
Response to Original message
15) Don't try to pick up women on public transport - women want a guy who owns his own car.
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Yeah, nothing says, "I love you" like a restraining order, eh DUmmies?
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"I don't have a job or a car, but would you like to see my extensive collection of progressive publications?"
Its a never miss thing.
:p
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Sorry I brought it over before this comment:
wtmusic (1000+ posts) Tue Jan-12-10 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
4. I guess asking if she's wearing underwear is a non-starter.
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Sounds like Berry Cool is a pissed-off woman that has had all those tried on her lately, not sleazeball-steve's former wingman.
However, I think the best way to pick up DUmmie women (To the extent they can be reliably identified as actual biological women, and you would actually want to at all) is with a sporklift.
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Sounds like Berry Cool is a pissed-off woman that has had all those tried on her lately, not sleazeball-steve's former wingman.
However, I think the best way to pick up DUmmie women (To the extent they can be reliably identified as actual biological women, and you would actually want to at all) is with a sporklift.
:rotf:*cough* :rotf: *cough*
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Not surprising that there was no mention of personal hygiene on the list.
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Don't forget to take off your Burger King visor.
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14. If the bus you have been watching travels back and forth to the elementary school each day, proceed with caution as this girl may be wearing a wire.
Fixed - The primitive forgot one of the most important steps, especially since he is giving advice to other primitives.
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Look, gang, I met my wife on a bus. Thing is, it was a bus that took NYS employees from one of the parking lots around Albany to downtown Albany. So, it was pretty obvious that we both had transportation outside said bus. Things have gotten a lot better since then, in both where we're living and what we're driving.
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Best DUmmie wymen pickup line, "You know, it's Boooosh and the Jooooos fault we have to ride this damn bus."
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:rotf:*cough* :rotf: *cough*
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!11 My sentiments EXACTLY!!!
You never fail to please Tank!
ETA: (you owe me a new keyboard Bubba! Scotch doesn't go well with keypads!)
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Dating advice is one of the last things I'd ever ask for from a DUmmy.
Most people that are riding a bus are only hoping to make it to their next stop promptly, not to be harassed by swingers like this idiot.
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Dating advice is one of the last things I'd ever ask for from a DUmmy.
Most people that are riding a bus are only hoping to make it to their next stop promptly, not to be harassed by swingers like this idiot.
Not only that, but if you're in the big city, you want to make it there alive! Had a Bud that drove Bus in Seattle, he said it was a frikkin' nightmare after 9 pm!
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Not only that, but if you're in the big city, you want to make it there alive! Had a Bud that drove Bus in Seattle, he said it was a frikkin' nightmare after 9 pm!
I took a bus once and I swear the bus driver announced it was quitting time and told me to get off then and there. I waited for hours and no bus came by the stop, finally called my sister and BIL to come and get me.
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Not only that, but if you're in the big city, you want to make it there alive! Had a Bud that drove Bus in Seattle, he said it was a frikkin' nightmare after 9 pm!
I will admit that I've taken the bus and the "L" in Chicago a few times. Neither is all that pleasant of an experience. About the last thing I was thinking was about how to pick up women, but of course I was taken at the time.
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I prefer driving by the bus stop before the bus gets there in a 68 Caddy convertible. It's worked for me.
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I prefer driving by the bus stop before the bus gets there in a 68 Caddy convertible. It's worked for me.
Heh, heh! "Toots" fell for the '53 F100! She's been in bliss ever since! LOL! Unfortunately the '53 didn't make it.
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I prefer driving by the bus stop before the bus gets there in a 68 Caddy convertible. It's worked for me.
Be sure you're wearing a mink fedora.
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Be sure you're wearing a mink fedora.
Always sportin my pimp hand.
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This is a woman? I thought for sure this was a totally clueless guy.
Cindie
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Al always has something to say.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YQa6l3Geyo[/youtube]