The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Aaron Burr on January 09, 2010, 07:24:13 PM
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One of the advantages of living out West is the wide array of headgear available to the hatless and hapless consumer. Out here, we even sell them to tourists. However, some hats are more acceptable for various social occasions than others. Off the top of my head I think only my Fez might be deemed inappropriate at say, a funeral, or football game. However, I know peoples opinions vary.
Now, originally my plan was to "buy" a Cowboy hat. After some field research I have concluded that buying a Cowboy hat is indeed, impossible. I can get one made on the black market, but I figured wearing a custom made baby albino alligator skin with Condor feathers hat might be pushing the envelope.
Most people just slap a ball cap on their heads and call it a job well done. Ball caps are, however, strictly entry level headgear for the discerning and mature customer. Here are two delightful links that further chronicle the subtleties and mystique surrounding the Cowboy hat.
Country Life (http://orchidviewfarms.com/windsor/realcowboyhat.php) and Ol' Timey Hatz (http://www.curtrich.com/hats2.html)
Even a quick perusal of these two articles reveals the astonishing variety of broad brimmed, mud stained, and diesel infused felt masterpieces that the goggle eyed green horn has to navigate his way around. I'm far too lazy to earn my way into a Cowboy hat, but need the broad brim for shade and the giant crown for storage space. After considerable thought, I've decided to take the easy way out.
(http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/147/l_4a8cd0b1c7ba42e6b9221ce29ea44a44.jpg) (http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/145/l_bc299f79a8dd48c7b7c5a1f4a44a2796.jpg)
Although I'm always up for suggestions and/or experiences regarding river boat gambler hats, tri-corned revolutionary war hats and those WWI era German helmets with the spike on top.
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Cowboy hats and sombreros don't become everybody who puts one on.
It takes a certain elan, a certain savoir faire, a certain character, to look good in them.
Even though born and raised in Nebraska, I look as stupid in a cowboy hat as does the Bostonian Drunkard in a cowboy hat, and nearly as stupid as Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, in a cowboy hat.
My hatwear of choice is a tan sun-helmet (or bush-helmet); the one I currently use is an antique, purchased by a friend in London, allegedly used by Lord Baring when he was governor of British East Africa during the 1950s.
I'm somewhat skeptical of that story, but I'm oftentimes told how much it becomes me.
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Speaking of looking stupid in a cowboy hat.
(http://breadline.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/obama_cowboy_hat.jpg)
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Well Frank Solich, I'd go with the legend over the possible facts in your case. Although I'm pretty sure Lord Baring went with the white plumed ostrich feather and monocle as accessories. If I owned the hat I'd go get a feather to insure historical accuracy....I'm assuming of course, you already own a monocle.
I'm surprised to read a certain skepticism regarding the Sombrero. Some of histories most glamorous chapeau sportin' stars have worn the Sombrero.
(http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/124/l_b43737f5acec4462822de85e0a5f35fa.jpg)
(http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/146/l_2b8bd74416604a0294ba3c05d12bc1b9.jpg)
(http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/120/l_fa551807381344c7876130e85ea27f94.jpg)
(http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/142/l_a910f3a3071f47068b72d0c455e234dd.jpg)
Who am I to argue with the frito bandito?
But I like your style Frank Solich. I hadn't considered a Pith helmet. I'll have to see how it stacks up against the Napoleon hat.
And yes Mr. Thundley, just one more reason to ditch the Cowboy hat and go with something more practical.
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I don't and never have worn a hat. I have thought about it. Maybe one of these would work?
(http://www.worldfightshop.com/catalog/hg_thumb.jpg)(http://www.zemskys.com/dickies/images/2008/685.jpg)(http://technabob.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/giant_helmet.jpg)(http://www.peoplewearingfunnyhats.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/srks-stupid-hat.jpg)
I just do not think any of them are really .. me.. know what I mean?
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I automatically avoid anyone wearing ballcaps at angles not as intended.
Memo to idiots with the backwards or "angled lid"--you do not look cool. You look like a dick. You ARE a dick.
(http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/hat-fail.jpg)